by Dayna Quince
He stood at the helm watching his men work in the familiar rhythm. There was always the same excitement in the air when they first took to water while land grew smaller and smaller behind them. They were not going far. By estimation, with good winds and fair weather, it would take five to seven days to reach Amsterdam.
“Cap’n Colton.”
Mr. Timms, his first mate, stood at his shoulder. Colton looked back, not expecting the frown of worry marking his brow.
“What’s wrong?”
“There is something you should see, Cap’n. I’ve discovered a stowaway.”
“A stowaway? How the bloody hell did we not see a stowaway boarding this ship?” He looked around angrily, but none would meet his eyes. “Show me.”
He followed his first mate from the quarterdeck to the hallway off the main deck. “Below my bloody feet, eh?” He grumbled menacingly. He was surprised when they stopped immediately in the hall at one of the crew cabins. “You’ve got to be bloody jesting,” he snarled.
His first mate only raised his eyebrows. He knew full well his captain was not angry with him, but Captain Colton in a rage—which rarely happened—was a scary thing. He had yet to open the door and reveal their stowaway. “I suspect she stowed away in Lord Wilhelm’s traveling trunk.”
Colton turned to him. His jaw actually dropped, and his blood turned to ice in his veins.
“She?”
“Yes, Cap’n,” The first mate turned the nob and pushed the narrow door open.
Colton was hesitant to look. He was afraid he already knew who he would see when he looked in the cabin, and his brain did not want to believe she would have done something so stupid, so reckless, and so dangerous. Colton could feel beads of cold sweat forming on his neck and brow. His stomach churned as he stepped into the doorway and confirmed his worst fears.
“Get Willy to clean this up.” His voice was hard and cold. Mr. Timms retreated quickly. Colton took note of the half empty trunk. He looked to the small form of the woman half leaning on the bunk. Anger—fear—there was a hurricane of emotion inside him.
“What have you done, Olivia?” he growled.
Olivia twisted to look at him, her eyes wide and imploring. “I need to help find my brother.”
He was furious, beyond furious. He was enraged, disgusted, and—and, well he didn’t know what else, but emotion poured from him, and he didn’t like it. “And you thought this was a good idea? Stowing away on my ship in a trunk that could have been locked away in holding until we arrived in Amsterdam, found your brother, and opened his trunk to reveal his dead sister? Do you think that would help him? Jesus Christ, Olivia. When are you going to learn to think with your head and not your heart?”
“I'm sorry,” she whimpered.
Colton’s anger dissipated. She looked green and miserable and in need of fresh air. He walked forward and knelt beside her. “What am I to do with you now, Livie?” he asked softly.
She shook her head against the mattress of the bunk. “Must something be done with me?”
“Oh absolutely, but first you need some air.” Colton scooped her up in his arms and headed through the doorway.
“No, I don’t want to move.” Olivia protested and squirmed, but he held her as easily as if she were a child. With large strides, he carried her out to the main deck. Olivia was blinded by the sun at first, and then when she could see, she turned her face into Colton’s neck. Everyone on deck was staring at them. He climbed the stairs to the quarterdeck and walked to the railing. He dropped her legs, and Olivia clung to him until she could feel the deck steady beneath her feet.
“Look at the horizon, Livie.”
She shook her head against him. In any other situation, he would be thoroughly enjoying holding her so close despite his crew all around. She had never clung to him so tightly before.
“It will calm your stomach. The horizon never moves.”
Olivia tentatively turned toward the sea. She stared out at the unmoving line and took deep breaths. She held onto him and leaned back against him.
Colton tensed, his muscles solidifying into rock. The cold claws of fear receded now that she was safe in his arms, replaced by his ever present yearning to keep her here forever.
Olivia, of course, had no idea. As trusting as she was, she viewed him like a brother, had known him practically all her life, and wasn’t aware of the siren she had become.
But Colton was. He had watched her bloom like a radiant rose. Her milk and honey skin, her soft pink lips—always smiling and laughing at him—her delicate winged brows above eyes so vibrantly green, they rivaled the bright leaves in spring. And that hair—so much hair—as black as a raven’s wing, and curling madly in the moist sea air. It tumbled around her shoulders like a living thing. It shined and moved luxuriously, begging him to tangle his fingers in it and pull her close.
But he could never do that. She was the daughter of a marquess and the little sister of his best friend. While Colton was no fortune hunter, he was not a titled gentleman, and that was exactly the kind of husband her parents expected for her. He was a shipbuilder, a sea captain, a man of trade. He was away at sea many months of the year. Marquess’ didn't marry their daughters to men like him. Perhaps, when he found Devon, he would earn the right to love her openly, but that was a dream, and dreams only lived in the night when one was alone.
He swallowed, burying his yearning deep inside. “Feeling better?”
Olivia nodded. “A bit.”
“Then come with me.” He escorted her back to his cabin and led her to a chair facing the large windows overlooking the sea and the steady horizon. “You should eat something.”
“No food,” she moaned.
“Tea and toast.” He gestured to the boy who stood waiting in the doorway.
“What is his name?” she asked after the boy retreated.
Colton had his back to her while he dug through the drawers of his desk. “Willy. If you need anything, he will tend to you.” He turned to face her. Colton drank in the sight of her. He never thought his two worlds would meet. Beautiful vivacious Olivia, always smiling, always watching…always out of his reach. It was an awkward thing to be attracted to your best friend’s little sister, watcher her grow and change, become more beautiful, more womanly. He’d tried to fight it. He’d tried to dilute it with the conquest of other women, but every time he saw her, usually surrounded by family, the attraction grew stronger until he did not recognize himself. So he stayed away. He built ships and sailed the seas. He saw Devon infrequently but kept up correspondence. He longed for her but knew that the closer he got to her and her family, the more obvious his infatuation would become.
But how would he remain distant when she was so close now? He had so much pent up longing that he was afraid of himself, afraid if she looked at him with the slightest regard that he might break from his tightly held control and fall on her like a love-crazed maniac. He shook his head and looked away from her profile. He needed to remain in control.
“Shipboard life is rigorous. I can spare Willy sometimes, but he has other duties as well. You will have to entertain yourself, and do not leave this cabin by yourself. You will only be in the way and distract my men from their work.”
“I am forbidden from going on deck by myself? How would that be a distraction?”
“You are very distracting,” Colton blurted. He cursed himself for letting that slip. “What I mean to say is, you would be a nuisance. Any woman on board is a distraction, some even consider it bad luck.”
“That’s ridiculous.” Olivia frowned. The idea of being trapped inside when her stomach was still upset was rather...well, upsetting.
“Be that as it may, sailors are a superstitious lot. The deck can be dangerous and the sea unpredictable. It is safer for you to remain here until I or Willy can fetch you.”
Olivia did not like the sound of that. She felt like a prisoner again, only her cell bobbed and swayed, and her stomach moved with it. She sighed. �
�I suppose I don’t have much say in the matter?”
“That is correct.” Colton felt his temper slipping again. Although ill, she didn’t look at all remorseful about her reckless actions. “Perhaps you can use this time to reflect on the stupidity of your actions.”
Olivia’s eyes snapped to his. She was shocked. Colton had never said a harsh word to her before. “That is rather hurtful, Colton.”
“Consider how your mother and father are feeling right now. First their son, and now their daughter, run off to the unknown.”
“I left a note,” Olivia returned.
“Ah, a note... That should be quite sufficient,” he said sarcastically. “I’ve a ship to captain. Later you can try to explain to me why you think there is anything even remotely helpful you can do to find your brother.” He slammed the door as he left.
Chapter 3
Olivia turned to stare out the large windows and held herself perfectly still. Her eyes stung with the force of tears waiting to be shed. She wanted to cry, she should cry, but this time by God, this time she wouldn’t. She always cried. She was always the soft one, the sweet one. She didn’t want to be that girl anymore. What did all these emotions, longings, and tears ever get her? They made her weak, made her a…nuisance, as he had said.
No more. She stood and turned about the room. She walked to the washbasin on wobbly knees and stared at her reflection in the mirror. All color had leeched from her face with the exception of her blood-shot eyes. Her hair was a tangled mess, one side hanging loose and the other cloying desperately to its pins. She undid it all, brushed her fingers through it, and braided it into a thick serviceable braid. She had no ribbon to tie it. She looked around the cabin again but saw nothing of use. She reached under her dress and tried to rip off a piece of her under skirt. It wouldn’t tear.
Olivia growled in frustration. Could she do anything right? Hot anger pumped through her blood. It felt good, made her feel stronger. She went to sit in the chair by the window, pulled up her dress well above her knees, and grabbed the hem in her two fists. She glared at it, and this time she clenched her teeth and pulled.
Riiiiiiip!
“Ah, ha!” she cheered. She looked up and saw the boy and a very intimidating man standing in the doorway, staring in wide-eyed surprise.
Quickly the man covered the boy’s eyes and turned their backs to her. “Willy collected some of your things from the trunk, m’lady, and we ‘ave some tea and toast to ease your…uh, malady.”
Olivia threw down her skirts and stood. “Thank you, that is very kind of you, Mr…” She quickly finished tying her braid.
“Timms, m’lady, and this lad here is Willy.”
“Yes, the captain said as much. You may turn around now.”
They turned and Mr. Timms was holding a tray with a cup of tea and dry plain toast. The boy, Willy, had an arm full of the few things Olivia had packed in Devon’s trunk. Two flags of color stained the boy’s cheeks as he walked forward and handed her things to her.
Mr. Timms, a large man with a bald head and tattoos on his neck, set the tray down on the table while holding out a chair for her. Olivia sat and smiled at him weakly. He looked like the kind of man who would murder you in an alley, but his mannerisms, even the energy round him, breathed kindness. Olivia could tell there was a story about this man. She would love to hear it, but getting to know the crew was probably forbidden too. “I remember you.” She smiled. “You performed the wedding for Lilly and Lord Redwick. You helped save us from Mr. Hollow.”
“That I did.” Mr. Timms nodded. He moved away to the door and the boy followed him. “If you need Willy, m’lady, you can pull this cord by the door and he will come.” He briefly met her eyes before turning and leaving.
“Thank you,” Olivia called after him. The boy popped his head in, smiled rakishly, winked at her, and then disappeared as quickly as a mouse.
She smiled widely and looked down at her tea. She would make a point to befriend Willy. She took a sip of tea and a nibble of toast. Over and over again, her eyes returned to the anchor of the horizon, and she began to feel a bit better. She glanced around the cabin, her eyes touching on the bed first. The bed was centered under the large windows spanning the rear of the ship. On both sides of the bed were benches that looked like storage. Directly across from the bed was the door entering into the cabin, flanked by two large closets built into the wall. She sat at a large table to the right of the bed, and to the left was a desk. Also in that corner of the cabin was a screen shielding the chamber pot. It was a masculine haven, simple, neat. Everything had a purpose and a place. She barely remembered the cabin from the night her and Lilly were rescued. It had been dark, and so many things were happening at once that she hadn’t taken the time to admire it. It was only months ago, but her memory of it was blurry. Now she looked around with interest. She was seeing another side of Colton. She had always known he captained his own ship, but for the first time she was really seeing it.
She wished he would return so she could ask him more questions. He did seem quite displeased with her, but surely he wouldn’t avoid her altogether? No, he had made it clear he would see her later to discuss and lecture her about her supremely idiotic actions.
He was right. Olivia bowed her head shamefully. What had she been thinking? She had no place or purpose aboard this ship or finding Devon. She was useless here just as she was at home, only now her parents must be worried over her too. When would she learn? Ugh! Even her own thoughts were against her. The truth of it was... Well, she didn’t know what the truth of it was. These feelings and impulses just sprang from her. Before she knew it, she was acting before thinking, and the thinking often caught up with her after she regretted her actions.
Oh, bother. Here she was on a ship with the man of her dreams, and she was not showing her best side. Devon was going to be livid when he found her here and ring a humiliating peel over her head—most likely in front of Colton, with Colton’s aid. Drat it all, she was done for. This would be the end of her freedom as she knew it. Forget merely being banished to the country, her parents were going to lock her up in an asylum for the rest of her days. Perhaps she could run away, or find a position as a companion for some eccentric old woman up north... There it was again. Her brain was already creating crazy ideas to get her into trouble. She ran her hands over her face in exaggeration. Enough already, this is what everyone meant when they poked fun at her. She was thinking with her heart and not her head. Why couldn’t they work in unison, as she needed them to? Why couldn’t they figure out what she wanted? Olivia thought about it. What did she want? What did she really truly want? She wanted Colton... And she wanted her brother home safe. Perhaps her actions were selfish, but they centered on the people she loved. She wanted to protect them with everything she had, and she couldn’t do that locked in her room at home.
This was the moment. This was the time to bring her heart and mind together and achieve her heart’s desire. She would show Colton the woman she had become and be here for her brother when they found him. She had but a few days to be with Colton without the eyes of their families and society on them. And when Devon joined them, she would be there for him because surely he will be in need of comfort.
The rest of the day, Olivia daydreamed about what she would say to Colton when he returned. She had stretched out on his bed with a seductive smile and fantasized about all the things she could do or say. She felt diabolical, but it all came from love. She knew he could love her, knew he felt something for her by the way he touched her, even if he couldn’t see it. It was there, right beneath the surface if he could only look for it. She would help him, and it would be absolutely romantic. Sometimes she even made herself blush with her thoughts.
This is how she fell asleep, and this is how Colton found her when he entered his cabin shortly before dinner.
Colton paused as he opened the cabin door. She was sprawled on his bed like an artist’s muse, arms seductively draped above her head, the j
ut of her breasts demanding his undivided attention. He almost turned to leave but stopped. Instead he just watched her. She was so beautiful, so relaxed and looking quite at home where she slept. If only.
He knew she was fond of him, perhaps even a little infatuated. He had seen it in her eyes and smile on the many occasions they had seen each other. For the longest time, he had believed it had been mere girlish fantasy for her brother’s friend, a convenient male with which to practice flirtation. He had believed that until he had begun to thoroughly enjoy it. Then he had fallen in love.
The night of her debut, Colton had just returned from some wild adventures in the Indian Ocean. She had made him swear he would be there before he left and that he would dance with her. Even then, her beauty was effortless. When she made her grand entrance into the ballroom, he had felt the floor drop out from beneath him. Her father walked by her side, beaming proudly. Devon followed with their mother, and as a family, they had never looked happier. He was the first to greet them along with his mother and father. He had looked her over with rapt appreciation, unable to take in the abundance of her charms and the lovely swells of womanhood peeking from her bodice. It was then that Lord Lesley had cleared his throat, drawing his attention. When he had met her father’s gaze, there was a clear warning.
So he had withdrawn. Pretended to be immune to her and suffered for it for years. The warning had been clear. Although their families were close and spent many occasions together, his profession as a common sea captain made him an unsuitable suitor. Perhaps once he returned the prodigal son to his family they might feel differently, but for now, she was under his protection.