by Dayna Quince
“Are there more blankets? We can make a bed on the floor so we can be right next to him in case he wakes up.”
Colton looked at her. “You should take my bed in the smaller cabin. I’ll stay with him. There are hooks for me to hang a hammock.”
“Oh...I thought... Never mind.”
“Olivia,” he said imploringly.
She hated the tone of his voice. It inferred far more than his words ever did.
“Whatever it is you’re going to say, Colton, just say it.”
“What we shared can’t go on. We took advantage of our time here, but now it’s over. Nothing has changed. We will go back home and—”
“And what? Go on as we were? I can’t do that.”
“And I can’t marry you,” he blurted. His guarded expression crumbled into one of misery. “Don’t you see?”
“No, I don’t. You are the only one saying no to a future between us.”
“No, Livie, I’m saying no to ruining your future. You will marry a titled man, live in a fine home, and attend fine parties. That is the life you are meant for. Everyone see’s that but you.”
Olivia’s mouth moved but no words would come out.
“It is the way it must be. I enjoyed our time together here, but there will never be more,” he said sternly.
Olivia felt like the queen of fools. Here she stood practically begging to be his wife, and all he could say was no. She wanted to scream out her frustration, to talk until her throat bled, but a movement on the bed caught her eye, and she looked at Devon. His eyes had opened, and he was looking up at the ceiling. She knelt down and took his hand.
“Devon? It’s me. We’re taking you home now. We love—”
He ripped his hand from her. “I don’t want your love,” he said vehemently. “Your love means nothing to me now.”
Olivia stepped back slowly. Her chest hurt so much she couldn’t breathe, and the tears in her eyes scalded. She looked up at Colton, and he met her gaze. He looked startled too. She shook her head, confused, crushed, devoid of warmth.
“No one wants me.” She ran from the cabin, the door and walls a blur of wood beyond the stinging tears. She slammed the door of the small cabin and collapsed against it. Her chest hurt unmercifully, her heart was breaking all over again, and she couldn’t stand the pain. She had never felt so alone before.
Devon writhed on the bed in delusion, panting and moaning. “I won’t love you,” he cried.
Colton was torn. Devon looked ready to leap off the bed but Olivia... He wanted to go to her. The utter sadness he saw in her face annihilated him. He couldn’t take it anymore. All the pain he had caused her, compounded by this moment.
“I won’t love you, Lydia. I don’t want your love. You mean nothing to me now,” Devon growled, although his eyes had remained closed.
Colton’s hands were shaking as he left the cabin and stood outside her door. He could hear her sobbing, painful, and deep, sobs of misery that tore at his soul. He couldn’t do it anymore, not if he was causing her this much pain. He never wanted to cause her pain. He only wanted to bring her joy. He thought that by giving her the chance to make a respectable match he was doing that, but instead he was hurting her with his refusal. He wouldn’t do it anymore.
“Olivia.” Her name ripped from his throat, his own emotions making it difficult to speak.
He tried to open the door but he met resistance. “Olivia, let me in.” He heard her gasp, heard the hiccups as she tried to draw breath.
“Olivia, please,” he begged. He heard sliding on the floor and then the door gave way.
He found her sitting against the bunk, similar to how he found her that first day. Her curls obscured her face, and she was shaking uncontrollably. He sat down beside her and pulled the blanket from the bunk. He wrapped it around her and pulled her into his lap. He was surprised that she didn’t resist him.
“I’m so sorry, Olivia. I only wanted to do what is best for you, but it seems I can’t.”
“Why does everyone think they know what is best for me? Can’t I be trusted to know what is best for me?” She hiccupped.
Colton ran his hands slowly over her back. “It is because we love you that we only want the best for you, even when it means denying ourselves. But I promise from now on, I will listen to what you want, and give it to you if I can.”
She slowly lifted her head from his shoulder and looked up at him. “Who is this we who love me?”
“Your mother and father and brother and I.” He smiled. It was the first time he had ever said it out loud, and it felt extremely good.
She blinked slowly. “Are you saying you love me?”
His smile broadened. “Yes.”
She shook her head as if to clear it. “As in, like a sister?”
“Most definitely not.” He chuckled softly. “As in, I want to make love to you every day for the rest of my life. As in, I want to see you grow round with my child and build a family with you, and see your beautiful face every morning over the breakfast table.”
She scooted back farther, her face expressing supreme disbelief.
“Since when?”
“Since you were fifteen and used my tender heart to practice your wiles on. And on your sixteenth birthday when you fell off your new horse, and I carried you six miles back to the house. When you were seventeen and you practiced waltzing with me on the back terrace because you claimed your dancing instructor had horrible breath, and Devon purposely stepped on your toes. And most definitely, when you were eighteen and you entered your coming out ball. Do you remember that? I had been away quite some time and had not seen the goddess you had become. You knocked me off my feet, and from that moment on, I haven’t been able to have a platonic thought about you, Lady Olivia Louise Brentton. I tried to be honorable and do right by you, but there is just nothing left in me.”
She remained speechless, her mouth slack and eyes wide and sparkling.
“All that’s left for me to do is ravish you here on my ship while you brother is incapacitated. I will thoroughly and irrevocably compromise you, so that when we return, your parents will have no choice but to marry you to this lowly sea captain.”
“Oh my,” she finally said.
“That’s all you have to say?” He smiled and quickly kissed her on the nose.
“Well no, actually. That is the most wonderful thing you have ever said to me.”
“Which part?”
“All of it.” She moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Especially the part about ravishing me,” she smiled and leaned in to kiss him.
Colton groaned, and she pulled back.
“What is it?
“It’s almost dawn, Olivia, and much as I would like to, we need what little rest we can find. We will set sail tomorrow morning if possible. And there is also your brother to care for.
Olivia nodded. “I can wait, Colton. Just knowing that you do love me, and you do want me is enough right now. I will admit that sleep sounds wonderful, more so than ravishment. But not by much,” she added with a coy smile. They stood up and made their way back to Devon. Colton brought the mattress from the bunk and made a cozy little bed on the floor so they could be close by in case Devon awoke. They climbed under the covers and held tightly to each other until exhaustion claimed them.
Olivia had never felt happier. This was the most romantic thing to ever happen to her.
Chapter 12
Olivia woke as dawn tried to seep through the thick layer of clouds. Colton was gone, and by the feel of it, the ship was moving again. She sat up and found land to be growing more distant behind them as they headed for home. Elation suffused her.
Devon began to grumble as the light grew stronger. He tossed his head side to side and slung his arm over his eyes.
“Where am I?” he called out.
Olivia sat by his side and patted his knee. “You’re on Colton’s ship. We’re heading home.”
“What?” He squinted his ey
es at her. “Olivia? What the devil are you doing here? Is father here?”
Olivia shook her head. “I came to help...alone.”
He gave her his blackest of scowls, and then pinched his eyes closed. “God damn it! Why is it so bloody bright in here? I can’t handle this right now, I need a bloody drink.”
“Does the light hurt your eyes? I can have Willy cover the windows,” she offered.
“That or take an ax to my skull.”
Olivia got up to pull the bell cord. She had expected more of a response about her presence here, but perhaps he was too ill to give much thought to it.
Willy responded quickly and knocked on the door.
“Come in,” Olivia called.
Willy stepped into the room and eyed Devon warily.
“Willy, this is my brother, Lord Wilhelm. He feels quite unwell and the light bothers him. Would it be possible to hang the curtains?”
“Certainly, I’ll get right to it.”
“And a drink,” Devon grumbled.
Olivia stood and poured some water into a glass. “Here.” She picked up his hand and shaped it around the glass. He shakily brought it to his lips. He took one sip and threw it across the room, glass and water shattering everywhere.
“I said a drink, dammit! I need a bloody drink, brandy, whiskey, gin, rum, wine.” He rattled off angrily, and then turned over to bury his head beneath the pillows.
“Uh...” Olivia and Willy stared in astonishment. “I’ll see what I can do.” Olivia stood slowly and took Willy by the shoulders before herding him out of the cabin.
“Perhaps you should fetch Captain Colton,” she told him after closing the door. He ran off and Olivia waited in the hall, a little afraid of the surly man who used to be her affable brother.
Colton arrived swiftly, his brow creased with concern. Mr. Timms followed him. “What’s the matter?”
He set his hands on her shoulders, and she instantly felt better. “He is awake and rather unruly. He wants a drink, and I don’t know what I should give him. Offering water did not go well.”
“He’s sobering up,” Timms offered. “He’s not going to like it.”
“Have you dealt with this before?” Colton asked over his shoulder.
“A time or two. His body needs it now, and without it, he will feel like trampled horse dung.”
“His body needs what?” Olivia asked in confusion.
Colton turned back to her, and his hands slid up and down her arms in soothing strokes. “Devon’s been smoking opium. It’s a drug that people can easily become addicted to. Now that he is not smoking it, he will feel it withdrawing from him, and it will make him very sick.”
She looked between Colton and Mr. Timms with panic. “You said his body needs it. Will he die without it?”
“No.” They both reassured her.
Mr. Timms continued, “But it will be hell for him while it leaves his system, and he will be very sick. We will have to help him through it, but there is no way to ease the process.”
“Oh. If we give him spirits, will it help?”
“No,” Timms stated. “It will make him worse.”
Olivia sighed. She had no experience dealing with someone with such a malady. She felt scared and helpless. “Well, I suppose there is no help for it then.”
“We have laudanum on board. If we give it to him in decreasing doses, it should help a little. We can mix it in tea.”
“That sounds like a wonderful idea,” Olivia said in relief. “The light bothers him. I’ve asked Willy to hang the curtains.”
“Even with the curtains, the light is still bright. If you move him to the smaller cabin, the port hole can be covered, and the room will be nearly black.”
“Your help with this matter will not go unrewarded, Timms. I think we need you.”
Timms nodded. “I’m at your service, Cap’n. You and I can handle the more indelicate matters until he is on his feet.”
“I want to help too,” Olivia demanded.
“Oh, you will,” Timms assured her. “He will need all of us.”
“I am indebted to you, Mr. Timms.” Olivia stepped forward and took his hand.
“And I am indebted to your dear cap’n, m’lady. ’Tis the least I can do.” Timms went to find Willy and make new preparations.
Colton turned back to Olivia and ran his hand along her jaw and into her hair. “How did you sleep?”
“Wonderfully. I didn’t even feel you get up. I was surprised when you weren’t there beside me. How did you sleep?”
“The same, although I got up while it was still dark and roused the crew to ready the ship.”
Olivia smiled and stepped closer to him. She slid her arms around his waist and rested her head against his broad chest. His arms came around her and squeezed tightly.
“The real thing is so much better than dreaming it.”
“Pardon?” Colton chuckled.
“Having your arms around me, I mean. I used to dream about it.”
“Your dreams were rather tame compared to mine.”
Olivia gasped, but when she looked up at him, she smiled delightfully. “I’d love to hear about your dreams.”
“You’re going to have firsthand experience, my love.” He bent his head to steal a kiss.
She clung to him, wanting more, but he pulled away reluctantly. “They will return any moment.”
She sighed. “You’re right, and there is glass to be picked up.”
They entered the cabin, and Devon was still huddled under the pillow. “Olivia!” he shouted from under the pillow. “Where is that bloody drink?”
“It’s coming.”
“Don’t be an arse, Devon. You made your bed, now lie in it and do it like a man.”
Devon stiffened under the blanket. “Colton? You rat bastard. Why in the devil is my sister here, and how in bloody hell did I get here?”
“We can discuss your sister later. Right now we’re moving you to the smaller, darker cabin.”
“Thank God,” Devon mumbled.
“Now get out here and stop acting like a coward.”
Olivia bit her lip apprehensively. She had never heard them speak to each other so heatedly before.
Devon wiggled to the edge of the bed and sat up. He wobbled as he used one hand to cover his eyes and groaned.
“Keep your composure,” Colton warned.
“I don’t think I can,” Devon said, his skin changing from white to green.
Olivia fetched the basin in case Devon had to cast up his accounts.
Colton pulled a scarf from his closet and wrapped it around Devon’s eyes. He took one arm and slung it over his shoulder, hefting Devon up until he found some balance.
“Why did you come for me?” Devon asked.
“Because you’re needed at home,” Colton grunted.
Devon grabbed Colton’s shirt in alarm. “Why?”
“Because that is where you belong,” Olivia answered.
“Why the devil are you here?” he sneered.
“I wanted to help, foolish I know, but it’s better than sitting at home waiting for you to ruin everything on your own.”
“So you sought to help me by ruining yourself as well?”
“If you had let me help you in the first place, none of this would have happened, you wretch. You’re lucky we love you enough to come get you,” she said.
He dropped his head and didn’t speak again. Colton assisted him to the other cabin. Timms had covered the window and made up the bed with fresh sheets. There was a tray of tea steeping and a plate of biscuits.
Olivia didn’t follow. She was overcome with emotion and trying to keep herself together. Colton returned shortly to ask how she was doing. Willy brought her some breakfast, and after she finished eating, she went to check on Devon. He was sleeping. Colton had reported that he had drunk the tea with laudanum and eaten one biscuit. She felt his brow for a fever, and although sweaty, he was normal to the touch and restful. She returned to C
olton, changing the sheets in their now shared cabin.
“You should get some rest as well.”
“I did.”
“Not nearly enough.” He finished tucking in the sheet and with a flick, covered the whole bed with the blanket.
“It all feels surreal now, being with you, having Devon back, and returning home.”
“Are you scared to go back?”
“Heavens no, just... I don’t know. I suppose I’m just nervous.”
“You’ll have to face the hangman’s noose sometime.” Colton pulled her to the bed and they sat.
“I don’t intend to be hung,” Olivia said belligerently.
“Perhaps, but—”
“No perhaps, no but. I’m marrying you whether they like it or not. I will not take no for an answer.”
Colton chuckled. “Livie...”
“Don’t Livie me. I finally have what I’ve always wanted, and I’m not letting you go. Don’t you want that too?” She turned to him.
“Desperately, but I think you are getting ahead of yourself. Let us return with Devon and let things settle. I can court you properly with your father’s permission—” He could see her bristling.
“I don’t need his permission.”
“But don’t you want his blessing? Do you truly want to enter into marriage with conflict in our families?”
“Well no, but neither do I want to give them any room to argue.”
“Do you think they will argue our wish to marry?” He looked down into her eyes.
“You did, didn’t you?”
“I did before, but now I simply don’t care. That is to say, I don’t want any conflict, but I will marry you regardless. I will have you, Olivia Brentton.”
Olivia sighed contentedly as he leaned down to kiss her. She would never grow tired of Colton’s kisses. It started slow, with teasing brushes and slides against her lips. She opened to him, eager to feel his tongue against hers. He didn’t deny her and claimed her mouth confidently. She shivered excitedly, quickly falling under the spell of this new intimacy between them. There was something so entrancing about his lips and being held close to his body. She would never get enough of him. She pressed herself closer, fascinated by the sensation of his hard body against hers and his strong arms around her.