“And what happens then?”
“I don’t know. The dream always ends there, when I wake up, or sooner, if I’ve been screaming. I started taking pills so that I could sleep without having the dreams, but the others, they said that was bad.”
More warmth, more comfort. Safe. Alfred’s voice comes as my eyes close. “Yes, that is a problem. Turning to drugs to keep your mind in check is a poor solution. It is a temporary solution, because the drugs stop working as well after a while, and then you need more, right?”
“Yesss.”
“That is why you came here, to me. So, we could stop the nightmares, and you wouldn’t need to worry about the drugs any more. We have to explore these nightmares together if you are going to live a normal life, Victoria.” More warmth hit her.
“Ok.”
“Good girl.” I moaned out loud as the words sent pleasure through me. I liked being good! Good for Alfred! “Yes, Victoria. We are going to talk about the nightmares, and you are going to be brave. Tell me, what do you feel while you’re in the nightmare?”
“Angry. Not in control. They force me and they use me and I cannot escape, I cannot fight back. They won’t let me even try. And I am dirty, unclean. Can’t go back to before. Not the same, not innocent. Broken.”
“And your body?”
“Dirty, sullied. Pain. First time hurts. Supposed to hurt. That’s what I was told. But hurts so much! And then it changes. Betrayed. Don’t want to feel it! Don’t want to feel good! Body betrays me. Makes me unclean. Makes me slut and whore.”
She felt herself getting agitated as she recalled the feelings of the nightmare. A wave of warmth calmed her down, made her happy. Made her safe. Alfred speaking. “And have you taken the pills since the treatment? Have you had the nightmares?”
“No. No pills. No nightmares. Dreams. Strange dreams. Don’t know what they mean.”
“What are these dreams about, Victoria?” Another wave of warmth rested on her, and she began telling Alfred about the dreams.
“I am somewhere dark. Bound. Not in control. Circle of light in the darkness. Can’t see anything outside the light. But I feel safe. Hands bound behind back. I can feel a man with his hand on my back. I am naked, and his hand is on my skin. I hear him whisper, speak to me. He controls me, but I am safe, not victim. I… I think I let him control me, and that makes me safe. I don’t have to decide. Don’t have to be strong. He helps me be strong, decides for me. His hand strokes my back, pushing further, but stopping when I ask to stop. Each time going further. Preparing me.”
“What is he preparing you for, Victoria?”
Warmth drifted over me. Safety. Acceptance. Let the nice man know about the dreams. “He wants me. He wants me to want him. He is preparing me for him, to give myself to him. He doesn’t want to take me by force. He wants me to give him everything. To call him Master.”
“And how do you feel about that?”
“I… I think I like it. But I am scared. What if it is a lie? What if it isn’t safe? What if he makes me do things I don’t want, now that he has me? He could take me, make me his, make me love him. But he doesn’t. Doesn’t want to. Makes it more special, he says, if I give it to him. Makes me feel tingly. And each night it goes further.”
“And what does this man look like?”
“I don’t know. His face is in shadow. Always in shadow. But his voice, I know the voice. The voice makes me happy, makes me safe. The voice takes away the bad things, and tells me it is ok. The voice tells me to relax, and the worries go away. I want to please the voice.”
“What do you want to do with the man with the voice?”
“I want him to take me, make my body feel good. Like in the warehouse, but not unclean. Let him control me, but I choose. Safe, not against my will. I… I want him to make me his. His and his alone.”
“That is good, Victoria. You are a very good girl.” She moaned again as she came. So good! “Yes, you are a very good girl indeed. You are such a good girl. Now, be a good girl and picture who you want the man with the voice to be.”
The string of climaxes was too much! Too much! Too good! She had never felt like that before! Her head swam from the pleasure. But Alfred wanted her to picture the man. Picture the man with the voice. But she couldn’t think, not with… Slowly, she understood. She knew why she felt so good, so safe. The man with the voice was already here, with her. She just had to make him want her!
Slowly, hazily, she opened her eyes. She didn’t even know when she had closed them. But it felt so good to just relax with her eyes closed. She had to open them, though, had to see his face. She smiled as she looked at him. “It is you. I want it to be you.”
Chapter 7 – Realization
There are many ways to go about turning someone into a devoted servant, who will do whatever it is that you want. Some of those ways are as ancient as human civilization itself, existing long before people ever had powers. Mental powers, in particular, are only the most recent way to mold a strong, independent individual into a perfectly submissive little toy that lives to serve you.
I smiled down at Victoria as she told me she wanted me to take control of her, and make her mine. She was a beautiful young woman, of course, which was always a bonus, but the thrill was in getting her to this point. And the changes had been mostly of her own doing. I simply set things in motion, with a few guidelines to help her along, covered by the removal of a massive trauma that had crippled her social life. She was changing herself at an impressive rate and she didn’t even realize that she was now destined to be my pet.
“So, Victoria, you wish for me to make you feel pleasure? To make you feel safe? To control you, and take away your decisions?”
She smiled dreamily at me. “Yes, Alfred. I want it. I need it!”
I shook my head sadly, and said, “If you wish for me to control you, to own you, then ‘Alfred’ simply will not do, I’m afraid. You might not be ready to be owned, it seems.”
The shocked look of disbelief on her face at my pronouncement was quickly replaced by one of… was that a bit of fear? Oh, so precious. This is what those fools who simply rewrote their toys’ minds missed, the fear and trepidation that came with a person searching for ways to change themselves for you because it is what they want to do. It is like comparing instant coffee to someone who grinds their own beans, and knows how to properly brew. Sure, one may be quick and easy, but it does not have the same impact as when you do it right.
Quickly Victoria sat up, fear in her eyes. “Oh, no! No, Doctor, you have to! I need you, need your voice! Please, please tell me what I have to do!”
I reached out with one hand to stroke the woman’s face, gently running my fingers across her smooth skin as I traced the line of her jaw. She shivered in anticipation at my touch, already falling into the trap that I had set for her. When I spoke, it was in a calm, slightly disappointed tone, like a teacher being forced to explain a simple problem to a student who was just a little too dull to get the concept straight away. “Ah, Doctor is a good start, and shows more respect, but is it really the right word? A Doctor treats his patient, taking care of their needs and curing some defect or malady that ails them, and then, when they are done, he doesn’t see them again until another problem arises. Tell me, Victoria, does that seem like the relationship you are asking me to take up with you? Someone to ‘cure’ you of a problem and then let you go out on your own, alone, to face the world and all those terrible choices as a free woman?” The irony of that being precisely why she had come to me in the first place was not lost on me, of course. It is part of the subversion that made it all the sweeter, in fact.
I could see the realization in her eyes as she understood the mistake she made. No, she didn’t want to make the choices. She didn’t want for me to ‘fix’ her and then throw her out into the cruel world that made her stand for herself. She didn’t want to be ‘free’. She wanted to be controlled. She wanted to be owned, because I had placed that desire deep in her s
ubconscious. She wanted to be owned by me, because I made her ideal man in my image. She may have free will, but only within the box I had put her in to without her knowing.
Victoria bit her lip, trying to think of a way out of the mess she had landed herself in. I did not have to even probe her mind to read her thoughts, they were screaming themselves from every fiber of her being. Her body language told me everything I needed to know about what she was thinking, what she was feeling. She was building towards the point of no return.
“Please, Master.” Ah, there were the words I wanted to hear. ‘Sir’ would also have been appropriate at this early juncture, but it was good to see that another piece of her subliminal programming had kicked in, guiding her to the fetish sites when she was ‘bored’ in her room at night. She had explored enough, it seemed, to know the proper words.
“Hmm?”
Victoria bit her lip again, and then moved off the couch, sinking to her knees in front of me, sitting on her upturned heels, her back straight, her arms raised slightly in front of her, and crossed, as though to be bound. She bowed her head, in submission. Oh hoh! I recognized that posture. So, she had gotten into the Gorean fantasy side of things, hmm? How wonderful that she went straight to the ‘posture of female submission’ without even needing to be told.
She was about to speak again, but I cut her off. It was time to push her a little, and see if she was ready to move beyond her comfort zone. “If this is what you want, Victoria, then I do believe that you are overdressed. Strip. Take it all off, and let me see you clearly. Then I will decide whether I will hear you or not.”
(Victoria POV)
Stupid girl! How could she have thought it would be so easy? Of course, she couldn’t just look at someone and ask him to control her without some kind of proof she was serious! She’d bungled this up completely! She should have started naked! She would have, if she had known earlier, and hadn’t just realized as he was speaking what she wanted from him. Now, she had to make up for her mistake, and show him that she could do better.
But stripping in front of someone, even someone she wanted to… to use her, and make her feel good? She had never done that before, not when she had control of her own body. Black Star had forced her to strip for him, and left her naked for his associate to take as he wished. She hadn’t had a choice about that. This was the first time she’d be willingly baring herself to a man. It was a scary step.
But was it really? A little voice nagged at her, deep in her mind. She’d done this, and more, before, when she’d been under mind control. It wasn’t like she had a cherry to protect from someone who might want to pop it, after all. And she was asking him to take charge of her, make her his, and decide things for her. She was asking him to be her Master, really. Shouldn’t she be willing to do this much for him?
She took a deep breath, and rose to her feet. Oh, god, this was so embarrassing. But she had to do this. She had to show him that she was willing to do what he asked, right? Her coat was already hanging on a rack in the outer office. She started unbuttoning her blouse, nervously looking at the man she wanted to be her Master. What if he saw her, and didn’t want her? What if he decided she was ‘used goods’, and told her to go away? Oh, she would just die of shame!
No! Be brave! Be confident! He will like what he sees. He will like how she presents herself. And he will want her as his… his slave. Oh, god, that sounded so hot. Choosing submission, allowing him to dominate her… the thought was making her even wetter, if that was possible, from all those times he called her a good girl.
Finally, the blouse is off. I let it fall to the floor. Who cares if it gets wrinkled? This is far more important! Oh damn, I wasn’t wearing my sexy underwear. No matter, I won’t be wearing it much longer. Now, step out of my shoes. Breathe. Don’t let him see how nervous you are. The pants aren’t anything special, just slacks in case you had to fly back to base quickly for an emergency instead of taking a cab or the subway. Slide them down, let them fall to my ankles. Stepping out of them.
Oh my. Only the underwear left. Nothing fancy. I hadn’t even dreamed of this before I left. Just some off the rack from the store. Always liked the store, since a Victoria shopping there made me feel special. But I don’t have any of the really sexy ones. Just a white bra and panties set, with a little lace to make it more interesting. At least I chose the thong today, since I didn’t want lines on my pants! Oh, crap! He can see how wet my panties are, I’m sure of it.
Another breath. Have to keep breathing. Can’t let myself get distracted. Have to make it look good. Have to make him want me. Make him need me. Make him have to have me. Bra unclasped, I let it fall forward off my arms. I have a good figure, I know it. 34-26-34 measurements with perky C cups that need no support, thanks to my superpowers. But if I didn’t wear a bra, then there would be scandals. I know I look good. He’ll definitely want me.
Turn around, show my back to him for this last part. Make a show of it. Entice him. Close my eyes, so that I don’t think about what I’m doing. Fingers grasp the last bit of fabric covering my body. I bend over slowly at the waist, to give the real deal, just like in a movie. Pulling down my panties, I bite my lip as the cool air hits my wetness, and allow the fabric to fall to the ground.
Did it! I did it! I actually managed to strip for him! Now, I just have to convince him. I turn back around, and I see the interest in his eyes. I can see him notice my wetness, my readiness. He is interested, I’m sure of it. I just have to convince him that taking me is the best thing, for both of us.
Down on my knees again. I saw the position in a ‘Gorean Picture Guide’ on the web, and there was a wiki article describing the pose. This is the pose that one should take when offering herself to a new master. Kneeling, sitting on my heels, now naked, as I should have been from the start. Arms crossed in front of me, ready to be tied, head down in submission. Just like the picture. Now, words. I have to have words! What was the caption of the picture? Oh, yes, I remember now!
"I, once Victoria Jenkins, herewith submit myself, completely and totally in all things, to Alfred Morden, as his girl, his abject slave, an article of his property. At his hands I accept my life and my name, declaring myself his to do with as he pleases. I am yours, Master.”
Oh my, I almost fainted from the fright of saying something like that out loud, instead of just in my fantasies. What if he rejects me? What if he tells me no? Will he deny me this pleasure, after I’ve come this far?
I keep my head down, but I hear him rise, and the sound of a drawer being opened. No, don’t look. This is a test. He hasn’t refused me. Not yet. He has to take me. He has to! I can hear him returning now. Warm hands, slipping under my hair. Leather against my skin! Oh, oh yes! I feel the leather closing around my neck, the clasp locking behind me. How could he have known? Silly girl, he was in your head! He would have seen. But why didn’t he have the collar ready at once? Because he wasn’t sure whether she would be ready? That must be it. He knew what she would do, what she wanted to do, before she did, but he didn’t know when she would gather the nerve, so he waited, patiently, until the time was right.
“Lift your head, Slave, and look upon your master.”
Chapter 8 – Submission
(Victoria POV)
I raised my head, and saw the face of my Master. He was smiling! That was good. He was happy with her! I just hoped that there was something, anything, that I could do to make him even more happy with me.
His hand brushed my cheek, his fingers stroking my skin. One finger traced the line of my lips, and when he pressed, I opened my mouth, allowing the finger inside. He looked pleased when I ran my tongue along his finger which was good.
“I had not expected you to come to this point so quickly. When I looked in your mind, I always knew that, once your trauma was removed, you would see the desires that your experience had awoken. You did not allow yourself to acknowledge them before, because of the shame and trauma you suffered. The pleasure you felt, despite yo
ur wishes, was real, and it stirred something in you. I could not remove that without removing part of what made you, you.”
Oh, he was so caring! He knew just what to do for her. It was so good to have a Master that knew what she needed even before she knew she needed it! And he had prepared for her, so that, when she was ready, he could do what had to be done to help her! So kind!
She kept her eyes locked on his. So intense, like he was looking into her very soul, reading everything about her, and judging her. She was worried when he abruptly drew his finger from her suckling mouth. Had she disappointed Master in some way? No, his hands were going to his pants, pulling down his zipper, freeing his… Oh, my! I haven’t seen one since then, but is it supposed to be so big?
She stared, wide-eyed, at the magnificent thing as her Master freed it from his pants, and allowed it to rest upon her upturned face. Oh, wow! She had almost forgotten what these looked like, except in her nightmares. She hadn’t done anything like… that since the incident. Before Master helped her with her trauma, she hadn’t even ‘helped herself’ as one of her friends from school would call it. The very thought of such things had always brought her back to that night, and the shame and disgust killed the mood. So, it had been a rather lonely two years. And now she was looking at a man’s thing once again, feeling it against her skin. But Master was right. This time, she was doing it because she wanted to. She wanted to make him happy, and to please him.
SCI Stories: Book 1 - Tainted Victory Page 5