by Jon Athan
Bad Appetites
Jon Athan
Copyright © 2017 Jon Athan
All Rights Reserved.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
For more information on this book or the author, please visit www.jon-athan.com. General inquiries are welcome.
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First Edition
WARNING
This book contains scenes of intense violence and some disturbing themes. Some parts of this book may be considered violent, cruel, disturbing, or unusual. Certain implications may also trigger strong emotional responses. This book is also not intended for those easily offended or appalled. Please enjoy at your own discretion.
Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter One
The Gym
Cindy Moore breathed heavily through her nose as she walked on the treadmill. She wasn't trying to catch her breath, she wasn't dying of exhaustion. The young woman was simply trying to muster the courage to run. She had completed her warm-up exercise, but she could not force herself to jog on the treadmill. Her insecurities held her back.
Insecurities could cripple the most resolute psyche on a whim, crushing a person's confidence and self-esteem in a matter of seconds. She couldn't trump her self-doubt.
She frowned as she stared at the mirror in front of the treadmill – a full-body mirror. She was displeased by her appearance. Her brunette hair was tied in a messy bun, strands protruding every which way. Her dull blue eyes were hollow, devoid of hope. She wore a black runner jacket, black leggings, and matching running shoes.
The young woman – 23 years old, to be exact – was not saddened by her clothing, though. She was dismayed by her weight. She stood five-two and weighed approximately 250 pounds. Most of the weight was centered towards her gut, but she also had flabby arms and a double-chin. Whenever she looked at her reflection, she only saw a blob of flesh blocking the entire mirror.
As she fought off her tears, choking on the lump in her throat, Cindy muttered, “This is stupid. I'm just wasting my time. Just run already, Cindy, just run.”
Surrounded by strapping young men and petite women, Cindy could not muster the courage to sprint. She found no pride in being the only chubby person in the building. At the same time, she couldn't help but envy the fit people in the gym. She was jealous and bitter, but she couldn't admit it. She would happily admit her embarrassment, though.
Cindy clenched her jaw, then she whispered, “Whatever. We're all here to exercise. There's nothing wrong with running. I paid my fee, I got out of bed to do this. They can't stop me. I can only stop myself.”
The young woman inhaled deeply, then she tapped an arrow on the treadmill's control panel. She increased the speed to five miles per hour. She was already taking a brisk walk at three miles per hour, so she figured the extra two would allow her to jog at a decent pace. She took a swig from her water bottle, then she jogged with her eyes closed – blocking the world to the best of her ability.
At heart, she wanted to keep her eyes closed during her entire exercise. She even wished she had sewn her eyes shut before arriving at the gym. Her eyelids functioned as curtains, covering her view of the world. Unfortunately, she could not fight the urge to open her eyes. She needed to see what she looked like while running.
Cindy opened her eyes, then she sniffled. Tears welled over her eyelids, a single blink would cause a waterfall of sorrow. A human blob distorted the mirror. Although regular to the common person, the reflection was grotesque to the insecure woman. She was appalled by her own appearance, practically retching from the mere sight of herself.
She felt like a rhinoceros running on a treadmill, stampeding towards nothing. She could feel the equipment trembling under her feet with each heavy step. The machinery groaned and clanked. The noise was natural, but it sounded much worse to the young woman. Drilling into her ears, the mechanical racket was loud and obnoxious, as if the treadmill would explode due to her weight.
It won't be long until a trainer drags me off, she thought, they wouldn't want me breaking their expensive equipment.
Cindy wiped the tears from her eyes and whispered, “I need to stop. I–I can't do this...”
As she sniffled and swiped at her face, Cindy glanced over at the neighboring treadmill. A young man, donning the latest running gear, ran beside her. The lean, dark-haired man paced himself at seven miles per hour – no big deal. Judging from the steady expression on his face and his loud music, he was clearly focused on his exercise. The rest of the gym was whisked away while he ran.
As she slowed her treadmill to two miles per hour, Cindy narrowed her eyes and examined the man's demeanor. She didn't care about his experience. She felt insecure around him, sure, but she was more concerned with his attitude. Much like everyone else in the gym, he didn't seem to notice anyone else.
Yet, Cindy felt as if she were being watched and judged by everyone. She could hear their nasty comments in her mind – she's fat and disgusting, what is she even doing here? Aside from the equipment's noise, the gym remained silent, but the paranoia still clung to the back of her mind.
If they're not saying it, they're thinking it.
Cindy frowned and muttered, “Assholes... All of you are assholes.”
Upon noticing Cindy's glare, the young man glanced over at the neighboring treadmill. He smiled and nodded at Cindy, then he returned to his exercise. He was courteous, handling the simple confrontation with a gentle hand. He was obviously more concerned with his exercise than his peer's physique.
Cindy smiled and returned the nod, then she turned towards the mirror. She didn't care about her appearance, her reflection was distorted anyway. Her mind wandered to a new situation. She was mystified by the lean man's kindness. If she was taught anything through her years of high school bullying, it was one thing: if it's too good to be true, it probably isn't good to begin with.
From the corner of her eye, Cindy watched the runner. She thought: was that a condescending acknowledgment or does he actually like me? Of course, her mind only allowed her to consider the two most extreme possibilities. The pessimistic cloud billowing over her mind wouldn't allow her to believe anything other than the worst case scenario, though.
She whispered, “He doesn't like me. It didn't mean anything...”
Bottling her sadness, Cindy wiped at her moist eyes and turned off the treadmill. She waved at the young man, but he didn't seem to notice her. The innocent rejection was humiliating – like waving to a friend who was waving at someone else. She jogged across the gym, running past the other treadmills, the seated chest and shoulder press machines, and the stationary bikes. She took a tumble as she reached the front desk.
As she stared at the dark gray ground, Ci
ndy muttered, “Shit, shit, shit...” Eyes full of tears, she glanced over her shoulder and said, “Leave me alone.”
To her utter surprise, there was no one in sight. She expected a crowd of people to surround her, pointing and laughing like high school bullies. She was relieved to see she was ignored. At the same time, she felt alone – saddened and abandoned.
There were several people inside of the gym – the clerk stood only three meters away – but no one offered a helping hand. Due to her pessimistic thinking, the young woman was perpetually trapped in lose-lose situations. Even when the sun shined, a black cloud poured venom over her head. Without an aid, she could not escape her personal hell.
Ignored by the world, Cindy wiped her nose and walked out of the gym. She walked towards the black sedan parked near the front. The early morning sunshine caressed her body, piercing through the fluffy white clouds. The sunshine, however, could not brighten her day. She fell onto the driver's seat, then she planted her moist brow on the steering wheel.
In a muffled tone, Cindy said, “They... They wanted to laugh, but they couldn't. They didn't want to be 'rude' or 'mean' in front of their friends. They're probably laughing now, though. They're rotten in the inside. I know it. Those... Those damn bitches. They were just waiting until I left to talk about me. It's always the same thing...”
Cindy leaned down towards the radio as she wheezed and wept. She could not contain her emotions. She broke down like a junkyard car, coughing and grunting like a run-down engine. She had too much pride to let the world see her cry. She figured society had laughed at her enough for one lifetime – she didn't need more humiliation.
Between her raspy breaths, the troubled woman whispered, “I... I hate them. I hate everything. Please, just... just let me disappear. Take me away from all of this bullshit. I'm begging you. Take me away before I do something I'll regret...”
As she composed herself, taking deep breaths and rubbing her eyes, Cindy leaned back in her seat. She moved her rear-view mirror upon spotting her reflection. Her pleas were sincere. She wanted to disappear, but she knew the way the world worked. Society needed her as a stepping stone for other people. At the very least, she didn't want to see herself – it was the next best thing to disappearing.
As she despondently stared at the steering wheel, Cindy said, “I can't just leave. I have to go to work. I have to pay my bills. I have to see Joseph. I have to stay strong and keep moving forward. I can't be weak around... these people.”
She scowled as she turned her attention to the gym's entrance. A petite brunette woman in a black sports bra and matching leggings stood outside of the gym. She held her phone towards the sky and smiled, taking a selfie to share with the world: Look at me, everyone, I went to the gym to take a picture of myself.
As she turned the key in the ignition, Cindy said, “I can't be weak around these assholes.” She glanced out the rear window to reverse, huffing and puffing. She said, “Good luck with your Instagram 'modeling,' bitch...”
Fueled by her jealousy, Cindy shook her head and grimaced in disgust as she drove away from the gym. She took a right and exited the parking lot, driving towards the rising sun – driving away from her problems.
Chapter Two
The Date
The sun fell beyond the horizon, painting the sky with every tint of orange and red – a portrait of natural elegance. The plaza was teeming with people. Couples sipped coffee at the cafe, teenagers lounged around the adjacent ice cream shop, and families strolled towards the movie theater. The mood was positive.
Cindy stood in line in front of the theater, waiting to head inside to hide in the shadows. She wouldn't mind catching a decent movie, too. She stared at her reflection on the glass doors and nodded. She wore a loose striped blouse and loose jeans. The woman wasn't setting any new trends, but she was comfortable – for the moment.
Cindy puckered her lips upon spotting the reflection of the man standing next to her – Joseph Madrigal. She appreciated her boyfriend, she adored him for everything he did, but she was not proud of his appearance. The man was a grim reminder of her failures. He was a reflection of herself, a human blob in the mirror.
Joseph stood five-eight and weighed over 350 pounds. He had buzz cut hair, brown eyes, and a fuzzy beard covering his flabby cheeks and jaw. He wore a large black t-shirt down to his thighs, black work pants, and black sneakers. The young man was obese, but he was not insecure. Compared to his girlfriend, his mind and heart were pure.
After ordering the tickets, Joseph gently pulled on Cindy's arm and said, “Let's go. We're going to have to wait in another line for our snacks. I don't want to miss the previews.”
Cindy nervously smiled and glanced down at her feet. She said, “Okay, okay...”
The couple walked into the lobby, strolling past the departing customers. Cindy glanced around, examining the movie posters in the sturdy frames and the large cardboard standees. The posters and standees promoted the upcoming summer blockbusters. Of course, most of them promoted superhero flicks, haunted house movies, and raunchy college comedies – the same ol' stuff.
Joseph asked, “What do you want, babe?”
Cindy glanced back at the snack bar. The smell of buttery popcorn, fresh hot dogs, and tangy nacho cheese meandered across the lobby. Boxes of candies and chocolates filled the shelves under the cash register. The treats baited her, calling to her with honeyed words, but she refused to answer.
Cindy shook her head and said, “I think I'm going to stick to my diet this time, hun. Go ahead and get what you want. I'll wait for you.”
Joseph furrowed his brow and said, “Really? A little popcorn never hurt anyone. I'll even get it without butter if you want.” Cindy sucked her lips and shook her head. Joseph asked, “You sure?”
“Yeah. I think I'll survive without food for an hour or two.”
Joseph smiled and nodded, then he walked up to the cashier. With the eyes of a hawk, Cindy watched as her boyfriend ordered his snacks. He purchased a medium-sized popcorn with butter, a box of Milk Duds to blend with his popcorn, two hot dogs, and a large diet soda for himself. If he ate all of the food by himself, he would consume 1,650 calories during a single movie.
Cindy whispered, “Good for you, Joseph, good for you...”
Burying her disgust, the young woman smiled and wrapped her arm around her boyfriend. The couple walked through the lobby, then they entered the auditorium for their movie. Fortunately, the auditorium was not full. There were a few couples, two families, and a single man in the theater, but nothing to get worked up over.
Joseph beckoned to Cindy and said, “Come on. Let's sit in the middle.”
Cindy frowned as she followed Joseph's lead. Out of all of the seats in the auditorium, Joseph chose the row with an 'ideal' couple – the lovey-dovey type. Cindy and Joseph had to squeeze past the couple to reach the center of the row. Plenty of grunting, groaning, and sneering emerged from the minor confrontation.
Cindy sat on the seat to Joseph's left, away from the other couple. She didn't want to see them during the movie. She could already feel the jealousy building up in her body. She could feel her insecurities pricking at the back of her mind like a tumor sprouting from her brain. She closed her eyes, inhaled deeply, and tried her damnedest to whisk the anxiety away.
The sound of rustling foil disrupted her concentration.
She glanced over at Joseph and bit her bottom lip. Her boyfriend unwrapped a hot dog. He licked his lips and took a whiff of the air as he salivated over the common theater treat. He never licked his lips around a woman, but food made his taste buds tingle. He was simply a hungry man – nothing more, nothing less.
Cindy sighed in disappointment, then she said, “Okay, okay. I know I'm going to sound stupid, but...”
She paused as she hesitated, trying her best to fight the urge. The hot dog's scent danced into her nostrils, baiting her like a worm on a fish hook.
Joseph smirked and asked, “What? What is it?”
Cindy returned the smile as she rubbed the nape of her neck, anxious. She said, “I know it sounds so stupid. I'm sorry, but... can I have a bite? Just one? Please?”
“Cindy, Cindy, Cindy. You didn't think all this food was for me, did you? Hell, it would have been for me if I was wrong, but I knew you wanted at least a little. That's why I ordered two hot dogs. One was for you, babe. Here. Go ahead, take it.”
Cindy giggled as she stared at the foil-wrapped hot dog. Her boyfriend knew her very well. She was overjoyed to have the love of such a caring man. She was afraid Joseph might facilitate her dietary problems, but she couldn't resist. She nodded as she accepted the food.
She leaned back in her seat as she unwrapped the hot dog, as if she were unwrapping a Christmas present. She took a large bite. Before she could swallow the first mouthful, she took another bite of the hot dog. She was halfway through her meal within seconds.
A tear materialized in her eye, clinging to her eyelids – a teardrop of utter shame and disappointment.
Joseph leaned closer and whispered, “What's wrong? You okay?”
Cindy nodded and stuttered, “It–It's nothing. I'm fine. I'm just... I'm just so happy to be here right now. My day sucked and it... it feels like a dream to be here.” She gazed into her boyfriend's eyes, knowing she was lying through her teeth. She said, “A dream date with my dream man.”
“That's nothing to cry over, babe. Damn, you're going to make me tear up, too. Oh, wait, the movie's starting. Shh, shh.”
Keeping her facade afloat, Cindy turned her attention towards the projection screen. The movie trailers started, teasing the upcoming summer blockbusters. She didn't care for the trailers or the feature presentation, though. She was lost in a storm of depressing thoughts, trying to escape her sadness to no avail.
Her eyes widened upon spotting a figure at the bottom of the stairs to her right. She could barely see the person through the darkness. The flashing light from the trailer allowed her to catch a glimpse, though. The person appeared to be a woman – a nude woman with long gray hair and pale skin. The woman was extremely thin – skin and bones.