by Lani Lenore
Nevermor. It was hovering in her mind like the thunderheads looming outside. Inside herself, Wren felt a sprig of new hope as she tried to keep the images of that place with her. She thought that maybe, if she held onto that, she might be able to find her way back.
Chapter Five
1
The next day, Wren was no longer employed at the cotton mill. Inside, she felt a little happier for that, even if the image of blood was still fresh on her mind, but she did not lack for things to do at the Home. Nora had given her plenty of chores, which included mending and scrubbing floors, sweeping and chopping vegetables, but all the while, thoughts of the island had not left her.
Her dream of Nevermor had begun to fade so that she could not remember the tiny details, like the way the wind had felt, only that she had felt it. She remembered the Rifter – his coat of leaves and his cocky expression – but she wasn’t sure she could have painted his picture, if asked. He was like a blur at the corner of her vision, but when she tried to focus on him, he faded away. Had he been real? Had any of it actually happened?
The more she thought about him, the more she believed. The more she believed, the clearer the images became. She could see him in her mind’s eye, unkempt yellow hair and blue eyes – could remember the way he had smiled at her. The sand and the water were not so far away anymore, as if she could close her eyes and go back there. This convinced her. The Rifter was real and Nevermor existed. She had as much faith in that as she’d ever had in heaven.
Perhaps it was her own story that had influenced her – merely foolish optimism – but Wren believed that if she had seen Nevermor once, she could find it again. She felt excited, more awake than she had in a long time, yet she could think of nothing but going to sleep so that she could dream. It was as though she had found the hidden solution to her troubles, but it had been in front of her face all along. She’d only had to open her mind a bit.
As the morning passed on, she decided she could not keep the revelation to herself any longer. Wren was convinced that getting back to Nevermor was her one hope of keeping together with her brothers, and she needed them to know it too. She decided to tell Henry.
Henry, though still quite swollen from his beating, had been given a job of scrubbing the large pots in the kitchen. Wren hadn’t crossed him many times today, though it wasn’t as if they weren’t allowed to speak. Nora expected them to keep at their chores, but she was currently in class with the younger children and was therefore preoccupied. Wren did not have trouble meeting privately with her brother.
When she entered the kitchen, Henry looked up from where he was hunched on the floor beside one of the large pots, but he was not working. He was leaned against the cabinet, eating an apple he had stolen from the pantry. Wren couldn’t blame him. Nora should have known better than to leave him unattended in the kitchen.
He jerked up with a start, but relaxed again when he saw that it was only her.
“What is it?” Henry asked, not sounding so happy to see her. “I’m not done yet and don’t tell Miss Nora that I am, or she’ll put me to work at the chimney.”
“I have to tell you something,” Wren said quietly, kneeling down next to him. “Do you remember the story I told last night?”
“Yes,” he said cautiously, picking at a bit of apple peel to avoid looking at her. “Nevermore or something? Is that supposed to be some kind of joke? To go there, we’ll nevermore have any troubles? I don’t know where you come up with all these silly ideas.”
“I didn’t make it up. That’s what I came to tell you. I really saw it.”
He looked at her then, wearing the expression of a true skeptic. One eyebrow was arched high above the other, which looked a bit funny because of how his face was enflamed.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, before the storm woke me up, I was there. I saw it. I met the Rifter. He called me there in my sleep; said I was a dreamer. It was so real.”
Wren looked for her brother’s reaction, and she could tell by the squint of his eyes that he didn’t know what to believe. She was sure that she sounded ridiculous, but yet she felt desperate to convince him. She needed his support.
“Henry, I think I was there. I think we could go there!”
“What?” he asked carefully, no doubt wondering if she was trying to trick him for her own amusement. “You just told me yesterday that there was no sense in hoping for a place like that – that all those stories you used to tell us weren’t true.”
“It’s different this time. I made all those other things up, but I really did see this. I just have to find a way to get back there in my sleep, and then I can ask Rifter how we might really go there!”
Henry seemed uncertain, and she couldn’t blame him for that. It was a lot to swallow, but there was no doubt in her mind anymore. Everything was vivid: the sea, the sky, the large moon. It was too much like a memory to be false.
“Wren, you sound like a mad person,” he told her, but she could tell that he wanted to believe it.
“Just say that you believe me,” she urged, “and when you go to sleep tonight, you should listen for the flute. Maybe you will see it too.”
He continued to look at her face until finally he nodded. Wren accepted his faith. As she left the kitchen, she wondered if she had done the right thing by getting his hopes up. Now she had to try her very best to find her way back there. If she could not make this happen, her brother might never trust her again, but it was too late. If they could not go to Nevermor, she would lose them both anyway.
2
Wren and Henry did not speak of it again that day. She did not even mention it to Max as she put him to bed, but as she lay down on her own mattress, she closed her eyes with purpose. She had her focus.
I want to see it again, she prayed. If it was real, let me see it again.
She concentrated on getting back to the sea of dreams, but of course her effort made it worse and she could not sleep until she relaxed and simply let her mind drift where it would. Once she let go, she began to slip away, passing slowly through the veil of dreams, unaware.
When Wren opened her eyes, that strange orb of light that she had seen before was flittering over her like a butterfly, making a fuss in a soft, unusual language.
It’s not just a light. I saw it on the beach. I saw it at the window.
She remembered that, but when she tried to see into the light to view the elusive creature within, it darted away.
Wren sat up on her elbows, finding that her feet were just beyond the reach of the tide that was rolling in from the dark ocean. The moon was large and full above her, pulling in the waves. She knew where she was this time, and smiled to herself, knowing that she had once again arrived.
How could this be a dream? She rested there for a few moments, enjoying the rhythmic tossing of the water. She felt the fresh sea air on her face and she was content. Yes, she felt that she could call this place home. It was easy to imagine Max running toward the water and then rushing back so that the waves wouldn’t hit his feet, as Henry rested against the sand, napping. Wren closed her eyes and sighed contently.
When she looked up to peer down the beach, someone was standing over her.
“Oh!” she shrieked, instantly lurching back against the ground. Beyond her own hand that she had instinctually thrown up to shield herself, she was able to see the familiar figure that stood near her.
It was Rifter, giving her a hard stare. Though he looked much the same as before, dressed in the same manner, his sword was in his hand this time as he peered down at her. Didn’t he know her? Couldn’t he remember that they’d met before?
Is he going to kill me? She wondered, but he’d told her before that he couldn’t hurt her because she was only a dreamer.
He didn’t move against her, but she watched him carefully. The ball of light was drifting over his head, but it did not come near Wren again, keeping a safe distance.
It’s a fairy. I know it must be.
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She could tell that Rifter looked surprised to see her, but she was relieved when he put his sword away. He held out his hand to help her up, and she accepted.
“You’re back,” he said. She could tell that he was baffled by her presence, but at least he remembered her. That was a start. “You must be serious about this.”
“I—I am,” she told him, but her voice was weak and she was aware of it.
Rifter stood next to her, inches away, looking straight into her eyes with such seriousness that she was cut to the quick. She stared back at him, her heart pounding within her, pondering the secret behind his harsh demeanor. What did he expect of her?
For the first time, she felt underdressed in her gown. She hadn’t given any thought to it the first time, but now that he was standing so close, she was keenly aware of how she was naked beneath it.
Rifter examined her face, perhaps searching for her determination. She wondered if he found it.
“Come with me,” he said finally, turning to lead her.
“I…” She didn’t know why she was hesitant. Had she lost her resolve so quickly? Maybe it was her inappropriate dress that had thrown her off.
“No, come on.” He took hold of her hand and she felt her heart leap, though her mind didn’t understand why. Rifter pulled her closer, hooked his arm around her waist and, before she knew it, he had picked her up like she was his bride.
“W—what are you doing?” she demanded, squirming a bit, but she could not shake herself free. “Put me down!”
“You don’t want that,” he assured her with an arrogant smirk.
Wren didn’t have a chance to question him, though it was on the tip of her tongue when Rifter shot into the air like he’d been fired out of a canon. The world was flying past her and her stomach was left behind as he took her high into the clouds above the ocean.
Wren wanted to scream and yet she couldn’t manage it. All she could do was hold onto him for dear life with her fingers laced around his neck and pray that he didn’t let her go.
He took her so high that she began to think he wouldn’t stop, but finally he slowed his ascent into the heavens, and it wasn’t long afterward that he had landed on a thick cloud. The notion of that was incredible to her, for though it might have seemed that clouds were fluffy and solid, she’d always been led to believe that such wasn’t the case. How, then, was he standing on one?
When he put her down on her own feet, she refused to release him. To her surprise, the cloud felt firm, though cushiony, beneath her feet.
“You—! We just flew!” she gasped, though it sounded ridiculous the moment it had come out of her mouth. Of course he knew it. He didn’t need her to tell him about what he had done.
“Just one benefit of being bound to a wisp,” he said, but he seemed pleased that she was impressed with his ability.
“Can I fly too?” She thought that she had already flown here in her dream, so surely she must have been able.
“Best not get in the practice of trying,” he warned.
To test the solidity of the cloud, Wren knelt down – still gripping his arm for support – and let her fingers slip across the misty surface beneath her. It gave a little beneath her hand, but it was stable, like a pile of cotton. At times, it wore thin as it shifted beneath them, and she could see the water shining below. She felt uncertain that it would continue to hold them, but he kept a close watch on her. She had to trust that he wouldn’t let her fall.
Rifter sat down next to her, trying to catch her eye as she stared down, and Wren suddenly guessed that she must have been white as a ghost, which quickly made her flush pink.
“Are you okay?” he asked, but he was laughing at her again – not openly, but amusement was in his smile.
“Yes,” she said. “I think. What are we doing up here?”
“I want you to look around,” he instructed her, directing his own eyes to peer below.
She had been so busy digesting the facts that he could fly and that they were sitting on a cloud that she hadn’t given the rest of the world another thought. Wren followed his gaze and looked down from within the sea of clouds, where a whole land was spread out before her.
Her eyes widened as she looked over it, for there was so much to take in at once.
There were beaches and mountains in the distance, forests and barren plains. There was a desert, and yet not far away, snow was falling across a portion of ground that was pure white. This place was like every fantasy she could have summoned up, confined to a single island in the middle of the sea. What was particularly strange was that it all made perfect sense to her.
This is Nevermor. This is the place where dreams go.
“Is this what you’re looking for?” Rifter asked. Yet again, she was confused by him. He must have seen it in her face.
“Why are you here?” he clarified, his voice serious now. “Have you been looking for this place?”
“Tonight I was,” she admitted. “But not the first time. I wound up here on accident.”
“Have you been looking for something? An escape? A way out of your other life?”
Wren understood then. She knew how she had found it. Yes, she’d been looking for it, even without knowing it existed.
“My brothers and I are orphans,” she began, taking the opportunity to explain. “We’ve been waiting for years for someone to take us.”
“For parents,” Rifter confirmed. He seemed disgusted. “Those are people who will take charge of you and tell you what to do. You know that, right?”
“Yes. But that’s the only hope we have of staying together. I used to dream of a place like this – well, perhaps I didn’t actually dream of it – but I used to wish there was a place somewhere that we could retreat to. I gave up on that, but lately, things have gotten worse. Everything is falling apart, and I know that we’re about to be separated.”
“Your desire for an escape has become stronger,” Rifter finished for her.
“Yes.”
“That’s why I was able to call you here then,” he muttered, finally understanding it himself.
He had mentioned that before. Did it have something to do with his song on the reeds? Now, at least, part of what he’d said to her about waiting for someone on the beach made sense. He had been intending to call someone here, but he hadn’t known who he was calling. She had just happened to be the one who’d followed the song and found this place.
Rifter looked her in the eyes unabashedly, trying to discover the truth at her core. She was caught there in the gaze they exchanged, stricken by him.
He really is handsome, she thought, despite the dirt.
“I’ve never called a girl before,” he mused, “and I’ve never called the same dreamer more than once. You must really want to be here.”
Wren wasn’t sure what to say to that. Was this really what she had been seeking? She looked down at the world again, and she knew just by looking at it that it was exactly what she’d had in mind.
“Yes,” she said to him with passion. “I do want to be here.”
She looked into his eyes as she confessed this to him, unafraid of what she was saying. Rifter continued to study her as if not fully convinced, but he must have been able to see her resolve, because he gave in.
“Alright,” he decided finally. “You’ve convinced me.”
Happiness fluttered in her heart. He had accepted her, just as she’d hoped. Now she only needed to get a few details and find out how she could get her brothers here as well.
“What do I have to do?”
“First, you have to trust me completely,” he said, his eyes fixed on hers. “Can you do that?”
Wren thought she could. He’d told her in the beginning that he would never hurt a girl, and he had made no move against her so far. Yes, she felt she could put her faith in him. She nodded.
“You just have to wake up,” he said. “Are you ready?”
He didn’t give her the chance to protest before he had
gripped her arms and pushed her backward off the cloud.
Without his support, Wren fell through the air, her limbs flailing as the waves of the sea rushed up at her. She opened her mouth to scream—
—and then she snapped awake in her bed. Her body was jolted as if she had truly fallen from the heavens and back into her body. She rested there as her heart calmed, considering her dream and also thinking that what Rifter had done to her had been very rude. But if waking up was the first step in getting back to Nevermor – Not the first; the second – then she would try to ignore his actions against her. He hadn’t hurt her, after all.
For now, she supposed there was only to wait. She rested her head back, feeling hopeful – trusting that he would come.
3
Hours passed in the night, but Wren couldn’t find sleep again. She tossed and turned in her bed but was unable to rest. Like Rifter had said, she needed to be awake, and it was as if he had placed a curse on her.
For a long time in the darkness, she waited. The night went on, but nothing happened. Rifter did not show up and Wren did not know what to do next. It was during these hours that she began to truly doubt herself, wondering if what she had seen was only just a dream after all.
I’m losing my wits.
She looked over at Henry, who was asleep in the next bed. How could she tell him that she had been wrong, especially now that she had gotten his hopes up? She had him believing again – trusting in her to deliver them – and the thought that she may have been wrong made her want to cry. She watched him sleeping there so soundly, and she was reminded of nights in the nursery back home – before her family had fallen apart.
Wren’s vision slipped out of focus as she thought of shadow puppets and shooting stars and secret games in the gaslight—
Someone was standing over her, a dark outline against the ceiling. She wanted to reach for him, but her body wouldn’t move. The figure leaned down over her. She felt a warm gust of breath against her lips…