by Mandi Beck
We touch down at Midway just after eleven P.M., Bo there, waiting to take us home.
“What up, my man?” I greet him as I climb into the backseat. Mav pushes me in so that I almost fall on my face. Kicking at him, I ask Bo. “Everything okay at the house?” Reggie would’ve called if there was something up, but being back in the city with my girl, knowing that I’m close, has me anxious.
“Yeah, been pretty quiet. Nobody has left all that much really,” he reports as he heads for the expressway.
“Good. Drop me off first. You can just go home after you drop these fools at their place.”
Bo glances at me in the rearview. “You sure? I don’t mind coming back once I leave them.”
“Nah, I’m sure. It’s late.” He nods in agreement.
Sonny cranks the rearview mirror to face him and pins me with a stern gaze. “You realize your ass is in the gym early as hell tomorrow right? All this flying back and forth shit doesn’t get you any breaks.”
Inwardly I groan, but I know better than to challenge him on it. “Yeah, I got it, Jameson. I’ll be there at ten.” There’s no way that’s gonna fly, but I try and elbow Mav in the ribs when he snickers. He knows it ain’t happening either.
“You wish, little brother. Seven A.M. gym time and if you’re even a minute late, I’m coming after you.”
“Sonny, by the time you get home, you won’t be getting very much sleep. You’re gonna be all cranky and shit,” I tease knowing damn well that my older brother could go without sleeping ever again and still function like the upstanding fucking citizen he is.
“Seven, Deac,” he says flatly before twisting the mirror back to its original position.
My head hits the rest behind me. I push the brim of my baseball cap up and rough my hands over my face and beard in exhaustion. I just want to get home, crawl into bed beside Frankie, and sleep for a month. I haven’t slept for shit since I’ve been gone and I’m aware that it’s because I wasn’t wrapped around the Princess.
“Hey, what went on at the bar last night? Leo said for the first time since he’s known you that you turned down free pussy,” Mav asks, head cocked and eyebrows raised in question.
“Same shit as usual, dude. Chick looking to get fucked. Thought about it for half a second and then realized where I needed to be.” Yanking the bill of my hat over my eyes, I’m hoping he gets the hint that I’m done talking about it. Apparently, he doesn’t realize that’s what it means. He for sure doesn’t give a shit.
“What do you mean you thought about it? Frankie isn’t just one of your gir—”
“You can shut the fuck up before you get hit, Maverick. I thought about it because I’m a guy. A guy who hasn’t gotten any ass in almost two weeks. Thinking about maybe getting your dick wet isn’t the same as actually doing it, for one. And for two, I would never cheat on Frankie.” He should know this.
“What about Brazil?” Sonny asks solemnly from his seat up front.
Jackknifing to an upright position, I whip my cap off. “What about Brazil, bro?” I demand, the muscle in my jaw starting to tick in time with my heart. “What about it?” I repeat, hitting the back of his chair, insisting he answer me.
“The two girls, Deacon,” he tells me, exasperated, as Mav just sits there watching us finish what he started.
“I’m not even sure I did anything with them, Sonny.” He turns and just looks at me in that silent way of his and I know that I did. My brother wouldn’t lie to me about it. Not about something this important. “Fuck,” I hiss out under my breath. I had hoped that I couldn’t remember any of it because nothing went down. “Well, it shouldn’t fucking count if you don’t remember it.” That’s bullshit; I’m not fooling anyone with that excuse. Complete and total bullshit, but it’s what I need to tell myself. What I need to tell them.
“Maybe it shouldn’t, but it does,” Mav adds.
“We weren’t together then. We had been broken up for months and her coming to see me before the fight fucked with my head. I was drinking way too much and you know it. We weren’t together,” I say again quietly. My voice thick with regret.
“And you are now? How is now any different, Deac?” Sonny questions.
“Now is different because I know that she’s at home, at my home, in my bed. Waiting for me. She’s where she’s supposed to be and I don’t plan on letting either one of us forget that again. I’m going home. To her.”
I don’t realize that we’ve arrived until the truck rocks to a stop. Popping the door, I grab my duffel. “I’ll see you guys in the gym at seven.”
Just as I’m jumping down, Sonny says, “I’m certain that you love her. I see how much every time you look at her, Deacon. Don’t throw that away. You’ll never find it again. Trust me,” he says cryptically. I glance at Mav who shakes his head, and I nod that I understand, exiting the truck and shooting them a wave as Bo heads back down the drive.
I don’t even have to bother with trying to find my keys. As soon as my foot hits the top step, the front door swings open and Reggie is standing there waiting for me. He’s as bad as Sonny. Neither of these motherfuckers sleep.
“How was the flight, brotha?” he asks, stepping out of the way so that I can enter.
“Better than the car ride home,” I grit out, passing him.
He cocks a brow questioningly.
“Nothing, Reg. My brothers just rode my ass the whole way and I’m beat. I need to be at the gym by seven. I told Bo to just go home after dropping the assholes off.” Turning to the stairs, “I just want to get my hands on Frankie and get some sleep.”
I’m three steps up when he calls out to me in a loud whisper, “Yo, Deac.” Pivoting I turn to face him. “She’s not alone,” he says, scratching the underside of his chin with the back of his fingers. “I told Bo to let you know, he must have forgot.”
Stunned, I walk down the steps I just went up. “Are they in my room?” I bite out through gritted teeth, my blood getting ready to sear my veins. He nods that they are. “They went up a little while ago, Frankie wasn’t feeling well again and didn’t want to be alone. It’s the third time this week.” The concern is evident in his voice. He needs to be concerned with keeping me from killing someone.
“You didn’t think the fact that she’s sleeping with someone else in my bed was something that you should have maybe fucking called and told me?” I bark at him in disgust. “Is it Flashdance? I swear to fuck, I’ll kill him.” Spinning, I take the stairs two at a time in my haste to get up there and just start wrecking shit.
“Whoa, Deac, wait!” he whisper-shouts, clamping a beefy hand on my shoulder to stop my progress. “You thought she was up here with Flashdance and I didn’t call you? Brother, I would have kicked his pretty boy ass before he made it through the front door. But he’s been around. Calling and popping up at the studio. Frankie hasn’t been alone with him much though aside from whatever classes they’re teaching.”
“I figured his ass would make sure he was around since I was gone. I fucking knew it! Is that why she canceled her classes?” I bite out.
“Not sure, bro.”
“So it’s not, Flashdance up there, right?”
Chuckling he gives me a little shake. “Indie has been staying here since you’ve been gone, but lately she’s been sleeping in the room with her. Frankie asked her to.” Letting his arm drop he shakes his head at me. “I just wanted to give you a heads up because I’m not a hundred percent on how those two roll and what you might find going in there, ya know? But they’re chicks, so it’s cool, right? I never even thought to call you about them sleeping in the same room together.” His brows are drawn in thought. “I guess since Indie swings both ways I should have though, huh?”
The relief that washes over me is so immense it almost makes me weak. “Motherfucker, I almost went in there and started knocking heads,” hitting him in the arm hard enough to make him stumble.
Rubbing at the spot, “Sorry, bro,” he says on a laugh. “I didn’t
mean to get you all worked up. I never even thought about it, honestly.” Sobering, he says, “We do need to talk about what’s been going on while you’ve been gone . . . it’s serious shit. Nothing that I can’t handle though. And trust we won’t let Frankie out of our sight, but I want to bring you up to speed so that you’re on the same page.” He waves me off, “Now go to bed and try not to wake up the girls while you’re up there, they’ve had a rough couple days. Everything else will wait ‘til tomorrow.”
Throwing one more shot to his arm, I start back up the stairs, but turn back to Reggie, “Did she go see him?” I question, although I’m not sure I want to know the answer.
“Who? Drew? No, never even mentioned it after you left.”
My heart rate slowing to a normal rhythm, I nod, thanking him because I needed to hear it. He’s right, we can talk later about all the other shit. I head to my room. If I have to, I’ll sleep in Frankie’s bedroom tonight, but I need to go put eyes on her at least. I want nothing more than to climb into bed with her, fuck it if Indie is in there. If I can, I’m climbing in with both of them. Indie can be pissed about it all she wants . . . in the morning.
Quietly opening the door, I slip in and walk over to the bed. She’s lying on her side of the bed facing me. Hands tucked under her cheek, hair splayed out across the pillows. Careful not to wake her, I squat next to the bed and brush the hair off her face, just taking a moment to watch her sleep. I glance next to her to where Indie is sound asleep in my spot, arm curled around my girl. I’ve never been jealous of Indie before. I am now. Not because she’s in bed spooning my girl, but because I’m not. Knowing that there’s no room for my ass, I place a kiss to Frankie’s head. Rising, I leave the room as quietly as I entered.
Once in her room, I strip down to my boxer briefs, climb into bed, and bury my face in the pillow that still smells faintly of the Princess. It’s as close as I’ll get to being in bed with her tonight.
The next morning the alarm goes off at a quarter to six. Hitting the shower, I groan at the lack of sleep I got the night before and the fact that I’ll probably be in the gym hitting it hard for the next ten hours. I don’t mind the beating I’m going to take, but I mind waiting so long to connect with Frankie. There’s no way Frankie is going to be up before I leave and I’m not sure I’ll see her until I get home tonight if she doesn’t come into the gym. After being gone for so long I just want to get my hands on my girl. Tell her I missed her and that there won’t be anymore running. From either of us.
Snatching up my duffel, I grab clothes from it so that I don’t have to wake the girls by going into my room. Five minutes later, I’m out the door, making plans for the talk I’ll be having with Frankie tonight. After I catch up with Reg and find out what went down while I wasn’t here. Where I should have been.
I smell her before I actually see her. She’s walking toward me at a clipped pace, Flashdance right fucking behind her calling her name. Turning so that I’m facing her fully, I let my eyes sweep down her front looking for an injury, that’s how flustered she seems.
“Princess?” I question, taking a step in her direction, my heart starting to beat faster. She’s making me nervous. Finally she’s in front of me and I can see the wild look in her eyes. The rapidly beating pulse at her throat. I’m just about to pull her to me when Cristiano reaches out and tugs on her arm to stop her. Frankie comes to a halt and glances back at him and shakes her head no and he drops his hold. “What the fuck is going on?” I demand as my brothers and Pop stop what they’re doing and come to my side, followed by Guy.
“Deac, I need to speak to you. All of you really.” Her voice is so shaky, so timid, I’m not sure what to think. Something isn’t right though. Nodding, I take the towel that Sonny hands me, wiping it over my face I sling it around my neck and wait her out. Just when I think that she’s not going to say shit, she blurts out in a rush, “I’m going to Spain with Cristiano.” The silence is deafening. Deafening and all-consuming, as is the rage that starts from deep within and then explodes from my every pore, working its way out of my mouth.
“The fuck you are. The. Fuck. You. Are,” I grit out between clenched teeth.
Everyone starts talking at once around me, everyone but Frankie, who hasn’t broken eye contact. The pleading look in her eyes undoes me. What is she begging me for? My blessing? Not gonna fucking happen and she knows it. It’s gotta be something else. I’ve been gone for two weeks. Two fucking weeks that she texted me daily, not once mentioning that she was getting back together with him and for damn sure not anything about Spain. I’m trying to get a grip on the situation, but I can’t. She’s not fucking going anywhere though, I do know that. Especially with this asshole.
I watch as she walks just a little closer before stopping and swallowing. Guy and my brothers are still talking over one another, getting louder and louder by the second. Slicing my hand through the air to silence them and their questions, I look to her for answers.
“I’m not safe, Deac. They’re getting desperate. I’m not sure if Reggie has told you anything about what happened while you were gone.” When I shake my head no, she continues, “They tried to ki-kill Andrew,” her voice thick with tears. “They didn’t find what they’re looking for. It’s just a matter of time before they come looking for me again and I’m not hard to find. I won’t survive that again, Deacon. I won’t.” The tears are flowing now, the fear palpable, visible in the way her body trembles. This is my girl and she’s terrified. Why the fuck didn’t anyone tell me? My eyes dart over every inch of her, willing my mind to form a plan. I’ll die for her, that’s not even a question, but there’s no way she’s leaving. Not with him. Not with anyone.
“No,” slips past my lips. It’s firm and succinct. No room for argument as I meet her gaze head on.
“Dea—”
“I said no, Frankie,” I interject, shaking my head.
“But Deacon, you don—”
“You are not fucking leaving with him. He cannot keep you saf—”
“I’m pregnant, Deacon,” she shouts, silencing me. “I’m pregnant.” This time it’s said on an expelled breath before her hand quickly covers her mouth.
Not stopping to even let what she said sink in, I retort, “Baby’s not his.” I say it so calmly you would think that my blood isn’t racing through my veins. Like my heart isn’t about to shoot right out of my throat. Like it’s just her and I in the room and we don’t have an audience. Like my girl isn’t standing in front of me telling me that she’s pregnant with my baby, and it is my baby, and leaving with another man. As I’m about to tell her again, Flashdance, who I’m about to start calling Death Wish, opens his fucking mouth.
“How are you so sure that she’s not carrying my baby? How dare you just assume that everything is about you all the time? Who’s to say that isn’t my chi—”
My arm shoots out and I point at him in warning, satisfied when he flinches at my swift movement. “You shut your fucking mouth right now. If Frankie’s pregnant, it’s my baby.” Bringing my eyes back to hers, I lock on those blues. “Even if it weren’t mine, it would be. You feel me?” The words aren’t for him and she knows it. Her face softens and she nods once, telling me all I need to know. Not that I ever thought differently. Without looking away, “Give us a minute alone.” As my brothers and dad shuffle past, they each kiss the Princess swiftly on the cheek, her dad lingers, pulling her into a tight embrace and whispering softly to her in Italian. Finally, they all make it out the door, leaving just Frankie and I . . . and Cristiano. “Tell him to go back to his place, Frankie.” My tone leaves no room for misinterpretation. I’m giving her the chance to handle this before I do. She swallows and holds my gaze.
“I’m sorry. Go home, Cristiano.”
“Are you sure, mi amor?” he asks haltingly.
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“All right, I’ll stop by your place later tonight. You shouldn—”
“No, Cristiano. Go home. To Spain,” Frankie
says gently.
My lips kick up in a slow smile, the tension in my shoulders easing as I hear what she’s saying. I watch as she takes a deep breath and turns to face him.
“I’ve let you stay too long. I knew what you wanted. What you hoped for. And I let you stay anyway. I’m sorry for that. You didn’t deserve for me to let you think we could be more. I missed our connection, dancing with you, and I was selfish.” She steps closer and reaches for his hand and it takes everything in me to not growl like some kind of fucking beast. “I hope that you can forgive me and believe me when I tell you that I never intended to make you believe that we could be more.” Eyes cast down, “He’s the other half of me, he always has been. Always will be. I’ve been unfair to you both because of my fears.”
My shoulders bunch as he places a finger under her chin to force her to look at him.
“I knew. I always knew. I just hoped I could be enough to change your mind even if I couldn’t change your heart.” I watch, dangerously close to losing my cool as he places his lips to her forehead. “I will go back, but please understand that you can come to me at any time and I will take care of you. When he hurts you . . . I will be waiting to welcome you, to love you and your baby.” Without another word he turns and strides out of the weight room.
Every fiber of my being wants to celebrate the fact that he is gone and that she had been the one to send him away. I hold back because although Frankie was gentle, it still hurt her to hurt him. Fuck him though with his little parting dig about me hurting her and being there to take care of my kid. Over my fucking dead body. She’s my woman and that’s my baby. Holy shit.
“I’m going to be a dad,” I whisper reverently. In awe. In fear. She turns to me and smiles softly, questioningly, tears spilling over to dance down her face. I reach my hand out and pull her to me. When she’s flush against my body, I place a kiss against her head, before leaning back to kiss the trail of tears on her cheeks. Gripping her torso, my thumbs settling just under her breasts, I lift her, resting my forehead against her belly, her hands going to my shoulders. I take a deep breath and let the moment wash over me. A baby. I never thought . . . a baby. Smiling, I place small kisses to her stomach and then slowly lower her back down, letting every part of her slide against me until her feet touch the ground. I’m just about to start hitting her with a barrage of questions when there’s a knock at the door.