“I limped around for a week,” he confessed.
She eagerly awoke every morning at sunrise to ride with Tyler. It was such a magical time of day. The sun just rising up over the trails, it made her think that new beginnings were possible. The sight of Tyler, his big bright smile, his bronzed skin, strong hands helping her up onto her horse made her feel important. She always watched him, amazed at how easily he jumped up onto his horse. His firm thighs made her squirm. She had never experienced a crush before so she wasn't sure why he made her feel the way he did, she just loved watching him move.
After one of their long rides on a warm spring morning, Tyler slowed his horse and jumped off. He opened a leather satchel hanging from his horse and threw her a blanket. On the other side he had muffins, two mugs and a thermos filled with coffee. He grinned at her as she stared at him, surprised.
“Have a breakfast picnic with me Justice,” he ordered as he led her to a grassy area. The horses nibbled on grass while she spread out the blanket.
“This is nice Tyler, thanks,” she said as he sat down beside her. He smiled as he looked out over the valley. She could see the ranch down below them.
“Do you think you’ll live here forever?” she asked him, wondering what it would be like to be able to just stay in one place for years.
“No, not forever Justice, it has probably been too long already. I came here to escape for awhile. To sober up and get my head together,” he sighed as he glanced towards her.
“I think your head is just perfect,” she said, catching his eye.
“I’m happy you think so. I know you have things going on but I think you’re handling it really well. Your pretty little head is just perfect to me too,” he said sighing as he laid down on the blanket. She joined him. As she looked up at the clouds in the early morning sky she felt his hand rest over hers.
“One day I’m going to own a ranch, I’ve been around horses all my life. I learned to ride a horse before a bike,” he confessed to her.
“I’d love to come visit you at your ranch and ride your horses Tyler,” she whispered. She felt his hand slide away as he sat up.
“I’ll be expecting you then,” he said as he looked back down at her. Her eyes met his, the green matching the grass around him. She gazed over his dark hair, curling slightly. She wanted to run her fingers through it.
“You will get through all this Justice, there is an amazing life waiting for you. You’re smart, funny, strong, physically and emotionally. I think you’re pretty cute too,” he said leaning over her. He grinned as his hands gripped her ribs, his fingers began tickling her. She tried to push him off, tears streaming down her face as she laughed at first, but then began to feel panicked. She shouted at him to get off her.
“I’m serious Ty, stop, please,” she shouted. He released her, noticing the tears.
“I’m sorry Justice, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said, holding his hand out to her so she could stand up.
“It’s okay, I’m sorry, I’m fine,” she said, pulling her shirt back down. He pulled her to him, wrapping her up in his strong arms. She held him close to her, burying her face in his chest. She could hear his heart beating.
“Let’s go riding,” he whispered as he kissed the top of her head.
The agency let her stay there for three months before they came to tell her that it was time to move on. Jay arrived with his new partner, who remained in the car as he walked towards her. He glanced at Tyler, not looking pleased as she dismounted her horse. She stood in front of him as Tyler jumped off his horse and stood back.
“Can I stay a little longer, please,” she begged Jay. He moved closer to her, blocking Tyler’s view of her. Before he had a chance to question Charlotte’s request to stay Ms. Shetland appeared on the porch. Jay reluctantly stepped back from Charlotte.
“It would be fine with me if she stayed longer,” Ms. Shetland told him. Charlotte heard Jay sigh as he looked down at her. She nodded, looking into his eyes, pleading with him to give her this.
“He hasn’t called yet so I’ll grant you three more months, unless the call comes in or a sighting is reported,” Jay said, reaching for her hand. He knew he had to remain professional but he’s missed her. He didn’t like the way the ranch hand looked at her, like he owned her. Jay held back his anger, he knew he couldn’t control her or Tyler but if he hurt her he wouldn’t hold back. He agreed to three more months as long as she stayed on the ranch, which she promised to do. It didn't feel like she was trapped when she was there. She felt like she was living. She was kept busy studying, helping around the house and working with Tyler.
She celebrated her eighteenth birthday on the ranch. The best birthday she could remember since she lost everything. After a delicious meal made by Ms. Shetland, she brought out a cake she had picked up from the local baker, covered in eighteen candles. They sang happy birthday to Charlotte then they each gave her a present. She was shocked.
“Thank you, both of you. I haven't had a present in such a long time,” she said, feeling shaky as she began to open the gift from Ms. Shetland first. She opened up a pretty pink box that held a sparkling silver chain. It was beautiful. She went to put it on when Tyler stopped her by placing his hand over hers.
“Open mine first,” he said, grinning. She smiled as she took the little blue box from him. He watched her open it. She gasped, covering her hand over her mouth. A silver horse with a diamond glittering from its eye shone up at her.
“It's for the chain. I told Ms. Shetland I had a charm for you and she bought the chain,” he said as he carefully put the horse on the chain. She tried not to laugh as his strong but not very nimble fingers fumbled with the delicate clasp. She lifted her hair up as he placed the chain around her neck. She felt his fingers graze her neck and her body shivered.
After cake Ms. Shetland excused herself as she went to her study. Tyler sat beside Charlotte at the table. She touched the horse around her neck and smiled at him.
“I really love this,” she said.
“Justice, come over to my place tonight,” he asked quietly, his eyes on her.
“Okay,” she said, her voice sounding breathy.
“I have something else I want to give you,” he said as his hand reached for hers. She happily let him lead her to his place.
During her stay they had become very close. She would go over to his apartment above the stables and watch a movie at the end of the day. They would sit side by side on the couch, sharing a bowl of buttered popcorn. Sometimes she would fall asleep, her head resting on his shoulder. He would gently slide her down the couch and cover her with a blanket, leaving her to sleep. He was the nicest person she had ever met in all the moves and places she's lived.
In the first few months she was there he usually went away on the weekends. Ms. Shetland had mentioned to her that Tyler liked to party, but she had made a rule that he wasn’t to be bringing back girls on the weekends. If he wanted to engage in such activities then he would have to stay in town. Charlotte felt hurt when she told her this, like she was warning her not to fall for him. Charlotte wanted to believe that everyone was capable of change. Maybe he just hasn’t fallen in love yet, she told herself.
She was so happy when Tyler started to stay on the ranch on the weekends. When she asked if he was going into town one Friday night, he turned to her.
“I’d like to stay here with you instead, if that’s okay?” he had asked her. She ended up joining him at his place for beer and pizza. She only had drink one and it made her laugh at everything he said.
She'll never forget the way she felt the first time he asked her to have dinner with him. It was a Friday evening and they had just closed up the stables when he asked her. Ever since that night they rarely spent any time apart, except for sleeping. Up until her eighteenth birthday, they were just friends, working and riding together. He taught her everything about working in a stable. He even wrote her up a nice reference letter when he thought she was leaving. She knew
she would miss him when the time eventually came to go.
Entering his apartment felt different that night, like something had changed between them. He looked at her differently. His eyes seemed darker, his face a little flushed.
“Are you feeling okay Tyler, you look a little off,” she said. Not sure how to ask him what was wrong.
“No Justice, I'm fine. I just need to try something. Please, come here,” he said, reaching for her hand. She trusted him more than anyone so she placed her hand in his and walked towards him. He stared into her eyes and she found she couldn't look away from him. Within seconds his lips were on hers. Her first reaction was to jump back, a feeling of guilt sinking in the pit of her stomach. She loved Jay but he was married and would never give her more than a few stolen touches in a hotel room. Tyler’s soft touch was nice. She had imagined how his lips would feel against hers. His smooth skin didn’t scratch her like Jay’s stubble had. His breath wasn’t laced with smoke and whiskey. Jay always had an intense edge to him when he touched her. He would hold her cheeks, pulling her to him. He was passionate, hard and urgent. It was his style, but Tyler was smooth, he was gentle and sweet. His breath still lingered of cake. He pulled away, grinning at her.
“Happy birthday Justice,” he said. She nodded, trying to compose herself, trying to shake away images of Jay that still lingered in her head.
“Can I kiss you again,” he asked softly, brushing her hair back from her face. Her hands rested on his hard chest.
“Yes,” she whispered, fearful of using her voice too loudly, in case she faltered. He held her closer and she wrapped her arms around his neck like she had seen in the movies. He felt so good against her, his hard muscles and warm skin. He smelled like Tyler, a smell she was used to and she loved it. His mellow cologne mixed with fresh air and stable hay, but it was his own scent that always made her tingle when she would breathe him in. Whenever he stood close to her, she savored him. He was familiar and safe.
She felt his strong hands on her hips, pulling her closer to him. She could feel his excitement growing, his kiss grew harder. He pressed his warm tongue between her lips and when she opened her mouth to breathe he went in deeper. She gasped at the sensation. She ran her fingers through his hair, as he held her tight against him. She was dizzy when he finally released her. Her lips felt swollen from his aggressive kisses. She gazed at him with glossy eyes. He grinned, his satisfaction evident as he picked her up and carried her to his bed.
He has been known in the past to be able to make a girl weak in the knees by one of his kisses. He had wanted to kiss Justice like that for weeks. He had wanted a lot more than kisses from her since he first saw her but he’s trying to mend his bad boy ways. He knew she would be living at the ranch so he had to control himself. He waited as long as he could. He actually began to really enjoy her company. He’s never been friends with a girl that he didn’t have sex with before.
She wanted to please him. She believed she could do everything he wanted. He set her down on his bed and kissed her again, as he slowly undid the buttons on her plaid shirt. He moaned as he caught sight of her white lace bra and her toned body. He quickly took off her shirt and kissed her neck. His kisses warm and soft as he trailed down to her collarbone and lower to her chest. His touch felt so good and she moaned as he came back up and kissed her lips again. His kiss surprising her now, he was rougher, his lips taking hers hungrily, his tongue sliding into her mouth. She wanted to kiss him forever like this. It was raw and passionate.
He licked her lips then rolled to his side. She watched him as he pulled his shirt off, revealing his sculpted abs and strong shoulders. She ran her hands from his smooth chest down to his hips as he stared at her, watching her. She heard his zipper undo, he wanted to have sex with her. She hadn't discussed boyfriends with him. He didn't know she was a virgin.
She gasped as one of his hands unbuckled her jeans and his fingers slid under her panties. She gripped his back when his finger entered her, circling, in and out. It felt so good but she began to feel frightened and she wasn’t sure why. She kissed him harder, his tongue entering her mouth again, making her squirm beneath him. Her breathing picked up, her body on fire. His weight became lighter on her as he pulled her jeans down, throwing them to the floor. With one hand he continued to pleasure her and with the other he slid her panties off. She could tell he knew what he was doing. She didn’t want to think about how experienced he was at this.
He leaned over her naked body as he quickly put on a condom. He rested the tip of himself against her as he kissed her again, softly now. She wanted him. She closed her eyes when he slowly began to insert himself into her. Before he had a chance to thrust she screamed, a blood curdling and frightening scream. Tyler was so shocked, he jumped up off the bed, his back against the wall as he stared at her in horror. As soon as he was off her she began to sob as she threw her clothes back on and in seconds was out the front door, racing towards the main house. He didn’t know what had just happened or why.
He stood naked in his doorway calling her name. She didn't look back, she just ran from him like he was a rapist. Once she reached her bedroom she cried and cried, praying the memory of her mother's attack would fade from her eyes quickly. The moment he began to enter her, the vision flashed before her eyes, it was too vivid for her not to react. It was like she was there again. It was like it was happening all over again. She had been transported in that moment back to her nightmare. The sound of her mother screaming before he knocked her out and the sound of him grunting as he took her. The smell of her monsters cologne and dinner burning surrounded her. She couldn’t see Tyler in that moment anymore. All she could do was run, she had to escape.
She cried for hours, realizing that she could never be loved. 'I'm so sorry Tyler,' she cried aloud, as she buried her face in her pillow. She didn't want Ms. Shetland to hear her. All she wanted was to be back in Tyler’s arms, she wanted to feel his kiss again but she knew that he would never want to be with her again.
She never had the chance to tell Tyler how sorry she was for running off on him or to say good bye. At six am the next morning Jay showed up for her. A man fitting her monsters description had been spotted at the same bus station she stepped off at less than six months ago.
“He must have an in somehow to have found you here. We have to take you across the country now. There's a place in New Mexico I’ll be bringing you to. You’re eighteen now so you can officially live alone if you'd like,” Jay explained as he carried her suitcase out to the car. She nodded, appreciating his offer.
She hugged Ms. Shetland and thanked her for everything. She honestly told her being on her ranch had been the best placement she’s ever had. She glanced towards the stables, catching Tyler as he jumped onto his horse and rode out onto the trails they used to ride together. He didn’t look at her before he rode off. She wiped a tear from her cheek.
“I'll tell him you said good bye dear, Tyler's just not real good at it,” she said in his defense.
“Thank you, can you tell him I appreciated everything, all his time, his friendship, just everything,” she whispered, holding back her pain, keeping it under control as her hand held the horse around her neck. Ms. Shetland nodded, as though she understood. Nigel loaded her suitcase as Jay watched Charlotte gaze at the ranch hand retreating down the trail. He was disgusted that he didn’t have the courage to come here and give her a proper goodbye. He noticed the tears in her eyes. He saw her fingers shake as she held the horse around her neck. Jay hoped he didn’t use her.
Charlotte sat in the back. The windows were tinted dark but she could see out. She gasped when she caught sight of Tyler riding towards the car. She was just about to tell Nigel to stop when Tyler pulled on his horse’s reins, stopping her abruptly. It hurt when he turned back, away from the road. She could feel her heart breaking into a million little pieces, shattering everything around her. She swore she would never love again as tears poured down her cheeks again.
C
HAPTER SIX
~
Locked
She can feel the lump in her throat, strangling her from the inside. She gets up and strips down, placing a white cotton nightgown over her body. It used to be her mother's. She sleeps in it when she needs her mother's comfort. Lying back down on her bed, her eyes close as she drifts down into the blackness when a knock on her door makes her jump. She sits up quickly and on tip toes, walks to the peep hole. The blood drains from her face, her hands shaking as she leans toward it. Shocked, she sees Josh standing there. He isn't smiling though, which disturbs her. She quickly unlocks the door and pulls the chains back over, nervously opening it for him. She's confused, wondering why she trusts him so much so soon. Jay would not be impressed with this. She's breaking all the rules. They might even kick her out of the program.
“I'm sorry Misty, can we talk?” he asks, looking nervous himself.
“Of course Josh, is something wrong? What happened?” she asks, wrapping her arms around her chest, feeling exposed and vulnerable. Two things Jay has repeatedly told her to never be.
“Can I stay the night Misty? I'll sleep on your couch,” he asks, surprising her.
“Why do you want to stay here? I’m sure you would be much more comfortable at your own place,” she asks, feeling like he has more to say. He sighs as he stands in front of her.
“Is there anything you can tell me about yourself Misty Rose? Can you tell me why you are running? Who are you hiding from?” he questions, staring into her eyes. His hands are by his sides but she notices them flex. She can't tell if he's angry or anxious. She doesn't know him well enough to tell. He's too observant for his own good. She instantly regrets meeting him.
“I'm not running Josh, just moving on,” she tells him, hiding her emotions. She's actually frightened she'll tell him too much. She can't bring him into this mess. He doesn't move, not taking his eyes from her. He knows she's scared and all he wants is to take her in his arms and hold her. He's never wanted to be with anyone like he wants to be with her. He's not sure if it's the adrenalin rush he felt as he considered attacking that guy downstairs or the silhouette of her body in the somewhat sheer nightgown she has on, but his heart is racing. He wants her to open up to him but he knows he shouldn't push her.
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