by Nicole Fox
“Okay, this game’s called, um, ‘being someone else.’ And the way you play is by pretending that you’re not who you are.”
“Who are you going to be?” asked Jack. “I want to be a dinosaur.”
“It has to be a person,” said Daphne. “For example, I’m going to be Amy. So that means you have to pretend like I’m not your mom, but a neighbor instead.”
“This game is weird,” said Jack.
Another knock from the door.
“Hurry and pick, baby.”
“Um, I guess I’ll be a police officer.”
“Perfect,” said Daphne. “We can start playing when the man at the front door comes in.”
“Okay.”
With that, Daphne took a deep breath and opened the door.
“Hey,” said Xander, entering in a huff.
Then his eyes flicked to Jack on the couch.
“Who’s the little guy?” he asked.
“This is that kid I told you I watch,” said Daphne.
“That’s the neighbor,” said Jack, pointing to Daphne. “And I’m a policeman. You better not be a crook. I bet you are, though—you look like one.”
“Why?” asked Xander. “You think you’re gonna take me in, big guy?”
“I bet I could,” said Jack. “You don’t look so tough.”
Xander smirked. “Kid’s got some brass ones on him, I’ll give him that.”
“What’s the story?” asked Daphne, eager to hear news about the biker situation.
“I tracked his ass down to some dive outside of town,” said Xander, plopping down into one of the dining room chairs. “Good news is that I know where he’s at. Bad news is that he’s hooked up with a new MC. Means it’s gonna be harder to take him down.”
“He has a whole crew on his side?” asked Daphne as she wrung her hands. “Then that means there are more of them after me?”
“Maybe,” said Xander. “But probably not. If he just joined up with a new crew, chances are he’s not directing operations; probably just bothering you on his own time. His harassing you is probably just to send a clear-as-day message to my crew.”
“And that message is?”
“‘Watch your backs.’ If he knows who you are, that means that they’ve been doing recon on people that my crew is close to.”
“I don’t like this one bit,” said Daphne. “I feel like I’m about to get caught up in something that I have nothing to do with.”
“Hey,” said Xander, reaching across the table and placing his hands on Daphne’s. “I swore that I’d protect you, and I meant it. Nothing’s going to happen to you with me around—you can count on that.”
Chapter Eighteen
Xander
Xander couldn’t help but continually look at the little boy sitting on the couch. Something about him seemed far too familiar for his liking.
“Hey, little dude,” called out Xander to Jack. “We met before?”
“No unless I put you in jail before,” said Jack.
“Well, you ever done that?”
Jack gave Xander his full attention for a moment.
“Nope,” he said.
“I’ve never met this kid, right?” asked Xander.
“Why?” asked Daphne.
“I dunno,” said Xander. “Something about him just seems way too familiar, like I’m getting constant déjà vu just being around him.”
Xander thought the situation over.
Neighbor kid? he thought. He seems pretty comfortable here.
“Yo, dude,” called out Xander again. “How many years you got?”
“Huh?” asked Jack.
“How old are you, my man?”
“Three. Almost.”
“Why do you want to know so much about this kid?” asked Daphne, her eyes flicking back and forth between the boy and Xander.
Something’s not fucking right about this, thought Xander. He did the mental calculations to figure out just what had been going on in his life three years ago. He realized that, sure enough, that was back when he and Daphne were involved.
“Little man,” said Xander, getting up and heading over to where the boy sat. “What’s your name? I’m Xander.”
“I’m Officer Jones,” he said, extending his hand. “And you have to stay ten feet away from a police officer at all times.”
Xander let out a little snort-laugh.
“Trust me,” he said, “I’ve been around enough cops to know that’s not the case.”
Jack’s eyes lit up.
“Really?” he said. “You know real policemen?”
“Uh, ‘know’ might be the wrong word. But yeah, I’ve met more than a few.”
“Can you talk to them and tell them I want to be a policeman too? I’d be really good at it.”
“I bet you would,” said Xander. “Let’s see that muscle.”
Jack made a tough-guy face and flexed his little boy bicep.
“Dang!” said Xander, squatting down and giving the arm a squeeze. “Now show me what you can do.”
Xander faced Jack with his exposed arm and gestured to give him a punch. Jack made a little fist, reared back, and slammed it into Xander’s arm. The soft sound of flesh-against-flesh rang out, and Xander pulled back his arm in an exaggerated display of pain.
“Ouch!” he said, reeling back. “You need to be careful with those guns; I wasn’t ready for that.”
“Sorry,” said Jack. “But you told me to!”
“I did,” said Xander. “And I think you’re tough enough to take on the bad guys one day. But you gotta train hard.”
“I will!” said Jack, his blue eyes wide with excitement. “I’ll train every day!’
“Then go on and get to it,” said Xander.
With that, Jack grabbed a toy gun from the couch and began running around the apartment, firing at invisible enemies. Xander watched the boy play, realizing that there was something to his thoughts that this kid wasn’t just some random neighbor. Once Xander determined that Jack’s attention was fully occupied, he turned to Daphne, and saw that she’d been watching the exchange with a concerned expression.
“Okay,” said Xander, “I was willing to play along with this for a little while, but you need to give me the goddamn details on what’s going on here.”
“What … what do you mean?” said Daphne, fear creeping into her expression.
“Cut the bullshit,” he said. “A neighbor kid who has all his toys here? A room that I’m not allowed to go in?”
“I’m serious,” said Daphne, her voice now wavering. “He’s just a neighbor’s kid.”
Xander sighed, as if in disbelief that Daphne would continue with the charade.
“Hey, Officer Badass,” said Xander over his shoulder. “Mind grabbing me one of those guns out of your bedroom? I need to practice, too.”
“Sure!” said Jack, turning towards the forbidden door. “But only if you’re gonna use it to stop crime.”
“No-no-no,” said Daphne, rushing towards Jack, who already had his hand on the doorknob.
But before she could stop him, Jack pulled open the door, revealing a boy’s bedroom. Xander stepped up to the room’s threshold and looked in, shaking his head.
“If you tell me that you’ve got joint custody with your neighbor or some shit, I’m gonna be pissed.”
Daphne was frozen in place, and it seemed to Xander that she couldn’t decide if to keep up with the lie or just cut her loses.
“Jack,” she said, “why don’t you play in your room for a while? And shut the door.”
“But,” said Jack, “I thought I wasn’t allowed to have the door shut unless I’m sleeping.”
“It’s a special exception,” said Daphne.
“Okay!” said Jack, happy to play in privacy.
He shut the door behind him. A deep silence settled over Xander and Daphne.
“I’ve got a pretty good fucking idea of what’s going on here, but I want to hear it from your lips,” said Xander,
taking a seat at the dining room table. “So spill it. And no more fucking lies.”
Daphne wrung her hands and looked around nervously, as though there was still some option she had to get out of the situation without giving up the truth. But once she realized she was stuck, she sighed, and sat down across from Xander.
“I mean, what did you want me to do?” demanded Daphne, taking the offensive. “Was I just supposed to raise my son with a father who’s a hardened criminal for a living? What kind of life would that be for him?”
“Our son,” Xander corrected. “And start from the beginning.”
Daphne began with the night that she’d found out she was pregnant, followed by her discovery of Xander’s violent ways.
“And I just panicked,” she said. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
“So, you just decided that you’d abandon me, and let me live the rest of my life not knowing that I had a fucking son?”
He banged his fist hard on the table, startling Daphne.
“See?” she said. “This is what I’m talking about. You’re violent, and the life you live is violent. And I’d be damned if my, um, our, boy was going to grow up with a lawless criminal for a father.”
“But you didn’t even give me a fucking chance to make a case!” he said. “If I would’ve known that you were pregnant … I don’t know. I could’ve made some changes.”
“Well, are you now?” she asked, crossing her arms under her breasts. “Are you going to leave your MC, get a job at the bank, wear a suit and tie every day from here on out?”
The idea of wearing a suit like every other nine-to-five drone appeared in Xander’s mind. He instinctively shuddered at the idea. He realized that she was right—the criminal life was the only one he knew he was good at, and he couldn’t imagine another way he’d be able to put food on the table.
“I don’t know,” he said. “Maybe? But that doesn’t give you the right to take a boy away from his father. What the hell was your plan, exactly? Find some nice guy sucker who doesn’t give a damn that his new girlfriend’s biological father is a hardened fucking criminal? Good luck with that.”
“Oh, how terrible,” said Daphne. “A man who’d raise another man’s son as his own and give him a good life. What a horrible fate for Jack.”
Xander smirked. “Don’t be stupid,” he said. “You know you’d get bored as fuck of a guy like that in a week. There’s a reason that you were willing to go home with the first hard-ass shitkicker with a beard and a leather vest who put the moves on you.”
“Fuck off,” said Daphne, turning away.
“You know I’m right,” he said. “I’ve been in the game long enough to know your type head-to-fucking-toe, thinking your dream man is some schlub with a solid 401k who brings you flowers on the first date. But deep down, you know as clear as day what type of man actually gets you wet. And it ain’t fucking Johnny Nice Guy.”
Daphne glowered at Xander, her arms still tightly crossed. He knew that she didn’t have a word to say in response; he’d cut her right to the core. Xander considered twisting the knife in just a little further in the interests of getting some payback for her lies, but after a moment’s consideration, he decided that she’d had enough—for now.
And before either of them could say another word, Jack emerged from his bedroom.
“Are you guys fighting?” he asked, rubbing his eyes.
Xander still boiled with rage. He’d stepped back from the brink, but now that he knew the truth about the boy standing mere feet away from him, he was right back to where he had been before.
“No, sweetie,” said Daphne, getting up and going over to Jack. “We’re just having a serious discussion.”
“Oh,” said Jack.
Then the boy let out a big yawn as he stretched his arms.
“I think you need a nap, baby,” said Daphne, squatting down and placing her hands on Jack’s shoulders.
Xander gritted his teeth. Emotions that he didn’t know he had in him rushed through his body, and all he could do was sit there and try to not become overwhelmed by them.
“I don’t want a nap,” said Jack, yawning again.
“I think you do, buddy,” said Daphne. “How about this: if you lie down for a little bit and can’t get some sleep, then I’ll let you go back to playing. Deal?”
“Fine,” said Jack.
“Come here, baby,” said Daphne, scooping up the boy into her arms and standing up.
Daphne and Jack disappeared into the bedroom, and Xander followed them, taking a place at the threshold of the room. He watched as Daphne gently placed the boy into his bed, saying soft, calming things to him as she did. Xander watched as Jack’s big blue eyes grew heavy with sleep as soon as he put his head on the pillow, and within seconds, the kid was out.
Daphne hurried out of the room and shut the door behind her.
And Xander could only stare hard at her, wondering just what he wanted to do with this woman.
Chapter Nineteen
Daphne
“What?” asked Daphne, crossing her arm across her chest once again.
She felt emboldened in a way that she couldn’t quite explain. Now that everything had come out in the open and she had nothing else to hide, she realized that there wasn’t anything to be afraid of. The cards were all on the table, and now it was up to Xander how to react.
But if she were being honest with herself, she didn’t know just what Xander was capable of. He’d never hit her before, and she knew he wasn’t the type, but still, she couldn’t ignore the anger that was clearly boiling just beneath the surface. She watched as he worked his jaw and clenched and unclenched his hands. For a brief moment, she was able to see the rage-laden side of him that he, up until now, had likely only showed to his enemies.
And right at that moment, Daphne found herself overcome with emotion. Tears formed in her eyes and trickled down her face before she even had a moment to compose herself.
“I just … I just didn’t know what else to do. One I found out that I was pregnant, all I could think about was that man.”
“What man?” demanded Xander.
“The … man I saw you beat.”
“What?”
“One night I snuck out to follow you, to see just what you did when you were at ‘work,’ if that’s what you even call it. Part of me thought that you were going out to cheat on me, and I had to make sure. So, I followed you out to some warehouse in the middle of nowhere. And I watched as you and your fucking MC friends dragged some guy, kicking and screaming, out of a van. You took him inside, and when you finally came out he’d been beaten to an inch of his life. And there was blood on your clothes, so much blood.”
Xander continued to stare at her, his eyes narrowed.
“Do you even remember what I’m talking about?”
He waited a moment before responding.
“I’ve done that to a lot of guys,” he said. “But only ones who deserved it.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“I’m not some fucking violent thug with no control over his anger,” said Xander, his voice edged with razor.
“How am I supposed to know that?” demanded Daphne. “All I could think about was how I didn’t want any child of mine to grow up in a house with a father like that. Think about it—`do you want Jack to grow up to be like you? Running from the law, violence a part of his life? Don’t you want something more for him?”
“That doesn’t give you the goddamn right to hide him from me, and lie to my fucking face about it.”
Daphne shook her head.
“I need to be alone,” she said, starting off for her bedroom.
“Not a fucking chance,” said Xander, following after her. “You think you can just pull this shit and hide out when you get called out on it?”
Daphne rushed into her bedroom and shut the door behind her. But it caught on something before closing all the way. Turning around, she saw that Xander had grabbed
hold of it, stopping it in place.
“What … what are you doing?” Daphne asked, her eyes going wide as she watched Xander hold the door.
She pulled on the knob, trying to shut it. But it was no use—Xander was just too strong. His thick bicep hardly even needed to flex to surpass her strength. Xander stared at her hard, breathing in heavily through his nose. He stepped into the room and shut the door hard behind him.