An Imperceptible Ruse Indeed (The Gods' Executioner Series)

by A. L. Bridges

  “Hey Jason!? Can you give me a hand!?” Reyna requests from the kitchen.

  “I should go help her…” Jason tells me while still observing me.

  “Go on.” I respond.

  Jason gives a glance over his shoulder as he walks into the kitchen. Cheza is sitting in the corner and chatting with Lila, Natasha, Sara, and Charlotte as I look on, feeling a bizarre kind of distance from them. At Least It Was Here by The 88 starts playing throughout the house as I realize what I’m going to do… what I have to do.

  (Cole… are you sure you want to go about it this way?)

  “Yeah… I’m putting them all at risk by staying while Loki is still around.”

  (What about Cheza and the baby?)

  “All the more reason for me to go find Loki and protect them.”

  (I can’t count the reasons I should stay)

  “One by one, they all just fade away.” I whisper in time with the lyrics and head upstairs.

  I enter the guest bedroom and pull a pen and a piece of paper out of the desk.

  Cheza—

  I’m going to be gone for a little while. It’s time I went on the offensive. I’m not leaving you behind to protect you, because I promised you that I wouldn’t do that anymore. That’s why I’m going alone to protect our child and our future together. I promise that I’ll be back soon. Once I finish Loki, we can start our happy family.

  Love,

  Cole

  P.S. Natasha, if you could help Cheza with the baby stuff while I’m gone, I’d appreciate it.

  “Airi, I need you to block Cheza.”

  I fold the piece of paper and write Cheza’s name on the back before placing it on the desk. I walk over to the window, open it up, and fly out. After flying about a mile away, I touch my Haglaz rune and port back to the house; Hel will still realize that someone has ported so I’ll have to make this quick. I grab my armored jeans, jacket, and holster before placing my phone on the night stand and porting to India. Upon arriving in the tropical garden, I wait for about a minute.

  “Cole, what can I do for you?” Saraswati asks as she ports in.

  “Have you guys discovered anything about Loki’s whereabouts?” I inquire.

  “No, we haven’t.” Saraswati answers.

  “Well, try harder; I need to take him out before things get worse. I’ll search around on my own and see what I can turn up. Just contact me with Nagi or Kanta if you find anything and don’t let anyone know where I am; I didn’t bring my phone with me so that nobody can call me or track me.” I reply.

  “Okay. I’m sure that Shiva will be happy now that you have such a vested interest in this. We’ll let you know if anything turns up.” Saraswati says.

  I nod in response and touch my triskele.

  …

  [February 14th]

  “And that makes zero for six.” I say to myself while standing in the underwater dome at the Witley Park Estate, having reached the last place on the list of six abandoned places that would make awesome super villain hideouts.

  (At least this place wasn’t as bad as those metro tunnels in Moscow)

  “That is true… ugh… I guess the reason that ‘in Russia, rat eats you’ is because the rats are as big as bears and bears without vests or hats tend to eat people… hmm…”

  (I doubt that giving the rats vests and hats would make them more likeable or give them the ability to ride a unicycle)

  “Dream crusher…”

  “Cole! Finally… We’ve been looking for you all over this damn place!” Nagi exclaims as she runs into the dome; she said we, so Kanta must be around here somewhere as well.

  “What’s up, Nagi? Did my father find Loki?” I inquire.

  “Cheza’s been kidnapped!” Nagi answers.

  “What?” I ask while trying to remain calm.

  “Your mother found her location, but she can’t port Cheza out remotely for some reason!” Nagi explains.

  “Where is she?” I question.

  “She’s being held on a train that runs through the realms of Yggdrasil.” Nagi replies.

  “Wait, so Loki has been hiding on a train that runs through the realms of a pantheon that he is the head of, and it’s taken Cheza getting abducted to find him!?” I ask, nearly shouting by the end.

  “Well, there is the whole constantly moving aspect to it…” Nagi says.

  “Oh good, you found him!” Kanta exclaims while running in from the opposite side of the dome.

  “Unbelievable… alright, I’ll go save her.” I reply.

  “Port to Niflheim; Jason is waiting to take you to the train’s next stop.” Nagi responds.

  “Alright.” I say and touch my right shoulder.

  “Cole! Let’s get going; the train should be stopping in Asgard right now.” Jason reports when I appear in his kitchen.

  “How did Cheza get kidnapped anyway?” I ask; it’s most likely my fault, but I mean, come on! I haven’t even been gone for a whole day!

  “She… Uh… We don’t have time for this!” Jason exclaims and claps his hand on my shoulder.

  The black mist disperses to the sound of train bells, the kind that notify of a train’s departure. I run to the door where a person in a bellhop-esque uniform stops me.

  “Ah, yes; I’ve been told to expect you. She’s waiting in cabin fourteen.” The guy says and waves me through. He must be talking about Sydney…

  I continue down the train’s car as it departs the station, glancing back down the hallway to find that Jason isn’t following me. I reach the door to cabin fourteen, remove my .460 S&W from the holster, and quietly slide the door open. The entryway opens up to a luxurious cabin with gas lamps and 1920’s décor that reminds me of the Titanic. I sweep the open doors to my left and right, a bedroom and bathroom, and get to the closed door at end of the hallway. I slowly open the door and see a leather lounge chair angled away from the door with a white hand holding a crystal glass that contains an amber liquid; no one else is in the room.

  “Where’s Cheza?” I demand while aiming my gun at the back of the chair. The white hand lifts the glass out of view and I make my way around the room.

  “Cheza? What are you doing drinking!?” I demand when I see that she’s the one in the chair, wearing a fine black dress and the white gold and sapphire pendant that I gave her for her eighteenth birthday.

  “Sit, Cole.” Cheza replies and gestures across from her at the other chair. I take a seat while Cheza finishes her drink.

  “This is just apple juice, by the way.” Cheza informs me.

  “So you kidnapped yourself…” I comment.

  “Here’s what’s going to happen: We are going to spend Valentine’s together. We are going to enjoy our evening like normal people. We aren’t going to use our powers for anything. If you can manage these without fucking them up, I’ll forgive you for leaving me behind.” Cheza explains with a serious tone.

  “I’ll forgive you for leaving me like that…” Cheza adds with tears in her eyes, her voice cracking. I stand up, walk over to her, get on my knees, and embrace her.

  “I’m sorry, Cheza. Happy Valentine’s Day.” I softly reply. I hold Cheza until she calms down a minute later.

  “So I guess today will be sort of like our Shabbat… yeah, supernatural Shabbat.” I comment.

  “Shabbat?” Cheza curiously asks.

  “It’s the Jewish day of rest where they aren’t supposed to do anything work-related.” I explain.

  “Oh… I guess supernatural Shabbat sort of fits, then.” Cheza replies.

  “So what shall we do this evening?” I inquire.

  “There’s a murder mystery themed dinner in about an hour and then I was thinking we could come back here, have a soak in the tub, and see where things go from there.” Cheza informs me with a surreptitious smile.

  “Sounds like a plan.” I softly reply and give her a kiss. Cheza kisses me back and then softly pats my cheek as she stands up.

  “Good, now change into th
is.” Cheza says as she walks to the corner and grabs a suit bag.

  I unzip the black bag and see a pair of black pants, a white shirt, and… is that a waistcoat? Cheza smiles me, silently judging my reaction; as such, I say nothing, strip down, and get dressed in the outfit. After feeling a bulge in the pockets of the pants, I search them and feel my cellphone. I notice the pair of white gloves after buttoning my waistcoat; it looks like Cheza thought of everything. I slip the ring off of my left hand, put the gloves on, and slide the ring back into place.

  “How might I serve you, Mistress?” I ask with my best ‘Belvedere’ accent and hand flourish.

  “If I wanted to look at your feet, I’d sneak into your room and do it while you were sleeping, Woodhouse.” Cheza replies and I smile at her.

  “I love you.” I tell her.

  “Don’t get all gay on me, Woodhouse.” Cheza says and kisses me.

  She might be having me play as her manservant, but she is letting me act out Woodhouse, the valet from Archer.

  “But seriously, there are shoes.” Cheza adds.

  “No, you threw those off the balcony when I made a mistake whilst making your eggs.” I reply with a smile. Cheza’s face warps into a frown.

  “No, your shoes are right there.” Cheza points at the ground. Getting the hint, I grab the polished black shoes and put them on.

  “As for your punishment, I’m going to rub sand in your eyes… so I need you to go out and buy sand. I don’t know if they grade it… but, coarse.” Cheza says.

  “Mistress, I’m more than happy to be your valet without playing a character.” I reply.

  “Oh, good… I was running out of references.” Cheza responds and gives me a brief kiss.

  “Now, give me a foot massage, mongrel; be happy that I’m allowing you to bask in their presence.” Cheza says while lying down on the nearby couch.

  “Thank you, Mistress.” I reply as I sit on the couch and get to work.

  …

  Chapter 28: Farriers and Train Dwarves

  Forty-five minutes later, Cheza and I decide to head to the dining car. Cheza wraps her hands around my arm and I escort her down the hall, noticing that the way her dress is cut under her breasts has the effect of hiding her stomach quite well. We pass by several windows and I notice that we are in the middle of a frozen tundra; I think we may be in Jotunheim, the frost giant’s plane of Yggdrasil. I hear sounds coming from beyond the door as we approach the dining car.

  I slide the door open and Cheza strides in before I follow two steps behind her. In the dining car are a dozen people, all dressed very ‘high society’ with shiny things, and fancy threads. I can tell that these people come from money when they behave like I’m part of the background while talking to Cheza. I want to scan them and see who I’m dealing with, but that would violate Supernatural Shabbat and Cheza would get angry with me; although, judging by the pointy ears, I do know that some of the people here are elves.

  “Oh, yeeees! This economy has forced me to wear grey fox instead of chinchilla! Can you believe that!?” A slim older woman wearing a fur coat asks with an accent that is reminiscent of the Queen of England.

  “You don’t say.” Cheza mumbles.

  “My furrier of forty years even went out of business!” the older woman exclaims.

  “Yes, well this economy must be quite difficult on the illustrious horseshoe makers of old.” I chime in and Cheza stifles her laughter while the older woman cocks her head to the side.

  “Now, dear, don’t bore the young’uns with such tales.” An older man says as he walks over from the bar, talking with an accent that also reminds me of English royalty and a mustache that makes me think of Colonel Mustard… or maybe that’s because of the monocle… did Colonel Mustard have a monocle?

  “Ladies and Gentlemen, we shall be beginning shortly so if you could all find your seats.” The host announces and leaves the car again.

  Everyone makes their way to the dining table and finds their seats that have been labeled with white placards. Cheza’s seat is near the center of the table and her placard reads Chezarei Vaele with “Mistress” written below it. My seat is next to her and reads Woodhouse with “Valet” below it. I look around at the other placards and realize that the subtext is the part that the person plays in regards to the victim, making the positions of Cheza and I coincidental. We take our seats, the host returns, and the generic speech about the murder setup is given involving a train ride through a frozen wasteland that has no stations to stop at until morning.

  “Clues can be found throughout the train and it is our duty to discover the murderer using the clues given. However, the murderer will be actively trying to kill you to cover up the crime. If you are “killed,” simply lie on the ground and give your best blood-curdling scream. Have fun everyone!” The host finishes and a scream is heard from the kitchen.

  “What was that!?” the host asks in mock shock, doing a convincing job of playing as a terrible actor.

  “Well, this is going to be fun.” I sarcastically mumble as everyone gets up and walks to the kitchen. In the kitchen is a man lying in a pool of blood with a slit throat.

  “Oh my gods! Brian!” the host exclaims when he sees the body, doing a much more convincing job of acting the part by collapsing to his knees in shock beside the woman who must’ve screamed.

  The first thing that tips me off is the smell of copper; they used real blood. The second tipoff is the fact that the man is still bleeding. I walk over and inspect the body more closely with another man that is dressed in a suit and appears to be in his late thirties.

  “Remember: no powers.” Cheza thinks.

  “Yeah, yeah.” I reply. I look at the throat and notice that it’s been torn open.

  “This man is dead.” The other man announces and mock gasps ring through the crowd.

  “No, I mean he’s literally been killed. His neck is still bleeding and that wouldn’t be possible without an elaborate pump system, which…” the man pauses while rolling the body over and ripping open his shirt. “Isn’t present.”

  “It looks like this is going to fun after all!” I exclaim with a smile while realization of the situation dawns on everyone’s faces; Cheza just rolls her eyes at me.

  “Get everyone into the dining car. Someone on this train is a murderer and we’re going to find out whom.” The man says. We start walking back into the dining car when the man holds me back.

  “This company is known for going all out on these things; it is hypothetically possible to simulate a recent death by thawing out a body and manually pumping the heart several times. You should probably tell your wife; the extra stress won’t be good for the baby.” The man whispers.

  “Thanks, I’m Cole.” I reply and hold out my hand.

  “Jacob.” Jacob says and shakes my hand.

  “How did you know that Chezarei is my wife?” I ask.

  “The way you look at her, the rings on both your fingers, and the fact that you’ve spoken tonight; real butlers pride themselves on being unobtrusive. Well, we should get out there!” Jacob replies and we exit to the dining car.

  While Jacob seems to think that this whole thing is an elaborate ruse to enhance the experience, I’m not so sure; I’ve seen enough fresh bodies that I’m pretty sure I can tell whether or not the body is old and it certainly doesn’t seem to be.

  “Alright, I think we should split off into our pairs and search for the culprit.” Jacob announces.

  “EVERYBODY AGAINST THE WALL!” a high-pitched voice screams.

  I turn around and see a dwarf wearing a ski mask with an MP5 submachine gun as six more like him file into the car.

  “Wow, they’ve really gone all out with the story this year.” A woman to my left comments.

  I have to admit that this story is getting elaborate; hopefully it won’t get too convoluted. Suddenly the lead dwarf fires the MP5 and real bullets shoot out; I don’t think this is part of the plan.

  “THIS IS A R
OBBERY! EVERYONE AGAINST THE WALL!” the dwarf screams; this time everyone shuffles to the wall and sits down.

  “For too long, we dwarves have been treated as a lower species!” the dwarf rants.

  “Lower to the ground, maybe.” I whisper and Cheza giggles.

  “We only get work around the holidays, when it isn’t outsourced, and we are expected to be servants even when most of us aren’t, unlike this man here!” the dwarf continues and points at me.

  “Today, we are taking some of the power back! Hand over your valuables!” the dwarf demands.

  “Haha… train dwarves…” I think.

  “Just like the gypsy woman said!” Cheza replies and we both start laughing.

  “It’s looking right at me with its dwarfy little eyeballs!” Cheza exclaims and we laugh harder. 6

  “This is exactly what I’m talking about! We get no respect!” the dwarf exclaims and fires the gun over our heads, looking rather comical because of the relative size of the gun as chips of wood rain down on us from the walls.

  “Put your wallets, jewelry, and purses into the bags! And no funny business!” the lead dwarf order and another dwarf starts walking past with an open bag.

  “Alright Cole, I think it’s about time for you to take them out.” Cheza thinks.

  “But what about Supernatural Shabbat?” I ask.

  “You’re not Jewish!” Cheza replies.

  “But I’m Supernatural Jewish!” I exclaim.

  “Fine, then I’ll just do it!” Cheza exclaims.

  “Shiksa! You’re a Supernatural Shiksa! MY WIFE IS A SUPERNATURAL SHIKSA!” I shout through our connection.

  “Hand over the jewelry.” The dwarf says to Cheza when he gets to us, but Cheza doesn’t move.

  “Either hand them over, or we’ll shoot you! You too buddy!” The dwarf says in his comically high-pitched voice while pointing his Glock 18 at me.

  “Fine Napoleon Complex.” I mumble as I act like I’m trying to pull the ring off of my left hand.

  “What was that!?” the dwarf demands.

  “Studies have been done disproving the Napoleon Complex and have found that taller men are more likely to strike back in anger when hit!” another dwarf chimes in.