“Ssh, stop talking and kiss me.”
Anticipation builds deep within me as I look deep beyond her eyes. I see it, she wants this as much as I do. I push my guilt and fears to one side and let my desire overtake me.
“Please,” she pleads with me.
Standing, I lift her carefully, not wanting her to step on the broken glass and sit her on the ledge at the sink. She smiles acknowledging my reasons for lifting her.
“You already know I’m not opposed to begging to get what I want.” Fuck. Her voice is filled with want and desire.
I wrap my arms around her back, run my hands up and down her spine. “Maybe I want you to beg.”
“Kiss me, like you mean it.”
“Oh, Sophie, every kiss we’ve shared so far I’ve wanted and meant.” I press my lips to hers softly. There’s no rush. I need her to know I mean it. I’m not in the habit of kissing girls just for the sheer fun of it. I hold her in my arms and don’t hold back. It’s not wild and passionate, but it is full of meaning. A meaning I hope she understands. God, I’ve not even got my own head around the meaning of such a tender kiss, how can I expect her to understand?
She pulls back and rests her head against me. We stay embraced in each others arms for a few more moments. No words are spoken, just a silent understanding.
“I thought you said something about a shower?” she says breaking the quiet between us.
“Are you joining me?” I ask in a low husky voice.
“I could be persuaded.” She teases.
I switch on the shower before lifting her in. I leave the bathroom and get a sweeping brush to clear away the glass. I sweep it all into the corner and I’ll clear it away properly later on.
“There you are. I thought I was going to be showering alone.”
“No chance of that happening.” I say, joining her in the shower.
“Have you got a shirt I can wear?” Sophie’s voice distracts me from getting dressed myself. She stands in the doorway with a towel wrapped around her.
I walk toward her, she leans forward and kisses me.
“You keep doing that and you won’t even be dressed by the time your brother gets here. I’m sure we are both going to have a hard enough time from Alex, without him finding you here still naked.” She laughs. “I’m sure Libby has some clothes still in the spare room.”
She follows me into the spare room, which still has more than a few pieces of clothing belonging to Libby. There are bags of her stuff just lying about. She really should take all this home with her; she’s not stayed over here since Alex moved in with her. I leave Sophie to find something to wear of Libby’s and go downstairs to make us both something to eat.
I set about making some pancakes as my mind wanders back to our shower. It has to be said, sex with Sophie is pretty incredible. Shower sex is the perfect start to the day. She controlled the pace and I’d let her control me day or night. What that girl can do with her mouth is definitely mind blowing.
My phone beeps indicating a text;
Mum; I will drop Lucy off before I go for Lunch. Hope you had a good night.
Me; Could Dad keep her for a little while longer.
Mum; Sorry son he’s going to a meeting
Me; Ok that’s fine I will see you when you drop her off.
I sense her behind me before I hear her. Soft hands touch lightly against my arm. I lean back slowly, feeling her behind me. “Something smells good,” she says, reaching round me and helping herself to a pancake.
“Hey you, can you not wait?” I ask her playfully.
“No, I seem to have worked up quite an appetite.” She stuffs a piece of pancake in my mouth, obviously not wanting to hear my witty response.
“Sit down, what can I get you to drink?” I ask.
“Just some orange juice. By the way, these are tasty.”
I smile and pour out two juices before sitting down opposite her. We eat, talk and laugh. She is really easy to talk to. Sophie tells me she’s a little bit scared of what her parents are going to say.
“Do you regret it?” I ask, even though I might not be prepared for her answer. She looks me straight in the eye and with a sincere smile says, “No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Life is too short for regrets. I don’t regret last night and I certainly don’t regret this morning.”
I breathe a huge sigh of relief. I don’t know how I would’ve felt if she said it was all a mistake.
“But I do have an idea of what everyone will say. I will be the girl leading you astray. I also don’t want to find myself in an awkward situation with Libby.”
“Look, I know you are all going for lunch today, but could I see you tonight?”
“Yeah, I don’t see why not.” That was easier than I thought it would be.
“I will have Lucy here tonight. You don’t mind?”
“No, of course not. I’m not the type of girl to come between a father and his daughter and it helps she’s really cute.”
“So Lucy is cute?” I ask leaning over the table. She leans in to meet me.
“Yes, she has this really cute smile,” she whispers. “Her dad has the same cute smile.”
“So her dad is cute?”
“Hmm. I seem to think so.” Her eyes glisten as she closes the distance between us. Her thumb brushes against my lip and I sigh before I feel her soft lips on mine. She pulls away, leaving me breathless. “So is this cute guy going to make me dinner then, or are pancakes the only thing you make?”
“No, it’s not the only thing I can cook. But I’m not sure about cooking for you with having to look after Lucy as well. I’ve not quite got the hang of this thing called multi-tasking. It’s taken me this long to get used to being a single dad.” As I finish saying it, I see a sadness wash over her. It makes me wonder what exactly my sister has told her about my problems. “I can either phone for a takeaway or I can defrost something that’s in the freezer. Mum makes sure I have plenty of food here.”
“I don’t want to interrupt your time together,” she says.
“You won’t. She is in a really good routine thanks to Libby. Lucy will be in bed before eight o’clock and then I’m all yours.”
“All mine to do as I please,” she teases. “This could be interesting. It sounds better by the minute; having said that, I’m more than happy to spend time with Lucy and get to know her.” Could this girl be any more perfect? Not only does she want to spend time with me, she is excited to get to know my daughter.
This time I lean toward her, taking her face in my hands and kiss her passionately. Our moment is interrupted.
“I pray to God that you are both decent and have the kettle on,” my sister calls through the house.
“Yes and yes,” I call back in reply.
“Time to face the music,” Sophie whispers. She looks worried.
“Don’t worry, it will be fine,” I tell her.
“I hope so.”
Libby looks bloody ill as she enters the kitchen. She hugs Sophie and sits beside her. Sophie smiles. I knew Libby wouldn’t treat Sophie any differently; now let’s see what Alex has to say.
“Ethan, I need tea with plenty of sugar.” I laugh at my demanding sister, who seems to have a hangover.
The girls talk quietly for a few minutes before Alex enters the room.
“Ethan,” Alex says with a stern voice and straight face.
“Alex. I’m making tea for Libby, can I get you anything?”
“No, we don’t have time. We need to leave. Sophie get your things.” He’s so abrupt.
“Alex!” Libby calls.
“I don’t have time, you know that. I need to get going.” He answers her bluntly and I can’t help thinking this is for my benefit. I want to give him a mouthful for speaking to Libby like that. Who the hell does he think he is? But this is my fault; I know it is.
Sophie doesn’t look at Alex before heading back upstairs to presumably gather her things. Libby stands, gives me
a kiss on the cheek and leaves, drawing Alex a dirty look on her way past him. God, I don’t want them to be arguing and falling out because of something Sophie and I have done.
Alex stands by the table, waiting.
“I’m ready,” Sophie says re-entering the room.
“Sophie go and wait in the car with Libby.”
“No,” she tells him.
“Just do as you’re told, I want a quick word with Ethan.”
“No.”
“For pity’s sake, just do as you’re told.”
She looks at me, worried. “On you go, it’s fine,” I tell her.
“The only reason you’ll be fine is because you are Libby’s brother.” Alex stares straight at me as he speaks.
She looks between Alex and I.
“Alex . . . Enough, Ethan has done nothing wrong.”
“Sophie, just go to the fucking car.”
I nod and smile at her. My silent way of telling her I’m fine with this. After all, I expected it. “Okay, I’ll see you later. I will give you a call,” she says, placing a quick kiss on my lips before leaving. Alex only shakes his head.
“I asked you to make sure she got home okay. All I’ve had is grief from my mom about her coming here with you. What are you playing at?”
“She’s safe isn’t she?”
“That’s not the point, and you bloody know it. Remember that conversation you had with me, when I came back here after New York?”
“Yes.” I know where this conversation is now heading, and if I’m honest, I wouldn’t expect any less from Alex. I would be disappointed if we didn’t have this conversation. I remember the grief I gave him that day, but I had just cause. He had hurt her with his actions. And after I wasn’t around to help out the last time Libby got hurt, which was down to Jeff. They way Jeff treated her when Lindsay died, and then again when he attacked her at the hotel, I will always make sure Libby won’t get hurt again.
“I’m just as possessive about Sophie as you are about Libby.”
“That I can understand, but here’s the deal; I haven’t hurt Sophie and I don’t intend to.” I can see he’s not happy with my words, but I do speak the truth. “Sophie wanted to be here last night and as you’ve just heard, she intends on seeing me later tonight.”
“Ethan, I urge you not to take this further.”
“Why? This isn’t what you were saying last night.”
“Because you and I both know, you’re not ready for any type of relationship. Your wife’s only been dead six months,” he shouts angrily. “I never for one minute thought this would be the outcome. You should be concentrating on your daughter; she should be your priority. And I won’t sit back and watch my sister be used.”
“My relationship with Lindsay is fuck all to do with you.” My voice is raised. “You already know Lucy is my priority. That doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to live my life as well. As for using Sophie, what do you take me for?”
“I’ve said my piece on the matter, I hope we don’t need to speak about it again.”
With that he leaves, leaving me to think about his words.
I WALK INTO THE LIVING room, stopping to look around. In every room of this house there are reminders of Lindsay everywhere. Stephen and Libby have been saying for a while to sort out her things. Until now I’ve been reluctant to even discuss the subject with them both, never mind do anything about it.
So what’s changed?
My one night with Sophie Mathews is what’s changed.
I grab my phone and call my mum.
“Ethan, is everything alright?”
“Yes, Mum. How long do I have before you are here with Lucy?” I ask her.
“About an hour and a half, maybe two hours. Why? You wanting to make sure your overnight guest is away before I get there?” she says laughing.
“No, Sophie has just left.” There is a stunned silence from the other end of the phone.
“Ethan . . .”
“What, it’s true Alex and Libby have just picked her up. I just wanted to know if I had time to go to the shops.”
“Yes son, you have. But you and Sophie?” I can hear the question in her voice, but this isn’t a topic I’m discussing with her.
“Mum, I need to go to make sure I’m home in time. See you soon.” I don’t wait for her to say anything else before I hang up. I grab my jacket, wallet and car keys and head out. The retail park is where I need to be. Once I’ve got what I came out for, I can go to the supermarket for some food shopping.
I’ve made a decision and decide to call Stephen from the car.
“Hey mate, what’s up?” he asks.
“Loads. What time off do you have this week?”
“I’m doing early shift this week. Is everything okay?” he asks, sounding concerned.
“It’s time, and I need your help.”
“I presume I’m understanding what you’re telling me.” I know he’s been waiting on this, but he would never push or rush me into making the decision. It’s one I needed to make on my own.
“Yes, it feels right now. I’m going to make a start on packing Lindsay’s things away, but I could also do with a hand redecorating.”
“Oh, are you sure?”
“Yes. I want to do the living room.”
“Not your bedroom?” he asks.
“No, I don’t need to do it just now, because starting tonight I will no longer be sleeping in it.”
“Shit, I have plans with Sally today. Where will you be sleeping? I can cancel and come and help if you want?”
“No, I have Lucy today and I don’t plan on doing a lot today. I’m going to move my things into the spare room.”
“Ethan, do you have anything you want to tell me?” He’s good almost as good as Libby when it comes to reading me, or in this case, trying to second guess.
“Like what?”
“Like why all of a sudden? Libby and I have spoken to you many times about this.”
“The time is right; I’m moving on with my life.”
“Does this have anything to do with a certain Miss Mathews?” I should’ve expected that. He was at Libby’s house the other night, albeit briefly, for Christmas and the birthday celebration, but left before Alex proposed.
“It might.”
“I thought so. I saw the way you two were looking at each other. Look, just be careful I will try and get over in the next few days, to help and to talk if you want. If it’s any help, I like her; she seems nice.”
“Thanks.”
My trip shopping was extremely successful, I got everything I wanted and more. I also got plenty of food; I was running low on everything. It’s about time I start doing things for myself. Mum is always cooking extra and sending to me so I have fresh, home-cooked meals.
Today it’s finally time to take stock of my life.
There really is no need for everyone to be doing things for me. I need to be able to do all this sort of stuff for myself. Even today, going shopping I never done that before on my own. Lindsay and I would go together, and then my mum took over after Lindsay’s death.
Small steps.
All in the right direction.
“Ethan, where are you?” my mum shouts as she comes in the house. I walk and meet her in the hallway. Smiling, I take my gorgeous girl from her arms.
“Daddy has missed you, baby girl,” I say kissing her on the top of her head. Her reaction amazes me, cooing and laughing. She’s just as pleased to see me.
“I would’ve thought you were too busy entertaining a certain young woman to miss your daughter.”
“Mum, because I love you, I’ll let that slip. If you know me at all, you should know I always miss Lucy when I’m not with her.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded,” she says apologetically. “Please, just be careful.”
“I will.” We walk into the kitchen and Mum eyes all the bags.
“You have been busy shopping. New bedding?”
“
Yes, I’m going to move into the spare room and make a start on clearing all of Lindsay’s things.”
“Oh, son, you know it’s for the best,” she says, wrapping her arms around me.
“I know.”
“I’m proud of you.” She kisses me.
“Even when I do silly things that irritate you?”
“Even then.”
“Do you not have somewhere you need to be?” I ask her.
“Yes, I should get going.”
“Can you please be nice to Sophie? Alex has already given her such a hard time.”
“Of course I will. It’s none of my business. I just want you to be happy and moving forward, not living in the past.”
“Thanks, Mum,” I say, walking her out.
“Right little miss, are you going to help daddy today? We have a lot to do.”
I make some lunch for both of us first before making a start. Feeding Lucy is getting easier now that she’s getting bigger. I smile, remembering the first time I tried giving her food. It was everywhere. All over both of us and the floor. She does enjoy her food now.
She sits in her high chair watching as I clean up in the kitchen, stacking dishes in the dishwasher. The two framed pictures on the shelf catch my eye. One with just Lindsay and the other is both of us. I forgot these were even in here. Taking them down, I glance at my daughter who is keeping herself amused playing with a spoon.
I decide to check through the cupboards and drawers to see if there is anything more of Lindsay’s. Once I’ve looked through everything, all I’ve found is a bangle and the two pictures. There, that wasn’t so hard, and I have a nice tidy kitchen as well.
I lift Lucy, quickly realising this little one needs changing. In the living room I change her nappy and play with her for a bit. She giggles away as I play with her on the floor. It’s not going to be much longer before she is into everything when she starts crawling. At the moment everything she comes into contact with goes in her mouth, whether it fits or not. I’m going to have to make this whole house child friendly sooner rather than later.
While I’m playing I notice there are lots of pictures in here. This I should’ve taken care of a long time ago. I can’t believe I would bring Sophie here, for her to be surrounded with pictures of my dead wife. Yes, I know I need to keep them, but they should all be boxed away.
She's Captured my Love (Captured #4) Page 6