After our walk we went for a late lunch in a cosy country pub. Neither of us had any alcohol but the food was to die for.
The drive to Libby’s is quiet, but not uncomfortable. I suppose we are both a little tired. It would be so easy to drive past Libby’s and take her straight back to mine. But I don’t, even though it’s what I want.
“I’ve had a fantastic day with both of you,” she says as I park the car outside Libby’s flat.
“Me too and I’m sure Lucy has too.” We both turn to Lucy who is sitting in her car seat. She does look exhausted; I’m hoping she manages to stay awake until I get her home.
“Yes, she probably has.” She pauses and her smile grows as she glances between Lucy and I. “Ethan . . .”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong. Well, I’m not sure.” She looks around nervously. “Look I want to spend more time with both of you.”
I know the smile on my face must be as wide as the river Clyde, but I can’t help it. She’s made my bloody day. I lean toward her. Her eyes darken and I kiss her passionately. She lifts her hands to my face, holding me close. My heart is pounding in my chest.
Right now I’m not sure I can let her go. Her tongue brushes against mine, and suddenly I want more than the kiss we share. I pull away reluctantly. Lucy is still giggling although her eyes are heavy.
“Does that mean you are happy to spend more time with me?” she asks, smiling softly.
“Of course I am. More than happy. Look, you had better go on up, because if you don’t leave the car, I’m taking you home with me.”
“Okay. I’ll see you both tomorrow.”
With that she leaves the car and I sit watching until the main door closes behind her.
“Oh, Lucy what the hell am I doing?”
Lucy fell asleep in the car, but I managed to get her changed and into her cot without waking her. She looks like an angel as she curls into her teddy bear.
I called Stephen from the car, just to see what he was up to tonight. Turns out he was at a bit of a loose end, so I picked him up. I need to talk a few things through and as Libby is too close and has enough to deal with I don’t want to discuss this with her. I know she is always happy to listen to me, but sometimes I think all I do is add to her own problems.
“Here, thought you could use one of these.” Stephen throws a bottle of beer at me. I catch it. “So are you going to tell me what’s up?”
“Shit. I don’t know where to start.” He hands me the bottle opener and I open my beer.
“How about you start with the cute American that has caught your eye. Or is it she has caught more than your eye, from the look that has just passed your face.”
I take a long drink from my bottle. He is right of course; Sophie is what I want to talk about. I know Stephen won’t judge me for what’s going on with Sophie. I’m sure he would encourage a relationship of any sort.
“I’m not sure I’m doing the right thing,” I state.
“How so?” he asks, taking a seat.
“Because . . . God, I really don’t know what is going through my head right now. I like her, really like her. And she is amazing with Lucy. But . . .” Christ, what do I say to him? Do I tell him that Sophie could actually mean something more to me? I’m scared to admit that I don’t want to run away from whatever it is I feel for her. She has consumed my thoughts since our first encounter Christmas Day at Libby’s.
“I hear a but, I do mate. But all I can say is I’m pleased to see you happy. She must be pretty fucking special to put a smile on your miserable face. Or is it just what she can do in the bedroom department that has you grinning from ear to ear?”
What can I say to that? She does put a smile on my face, even just the mere mention of her name. And not just because of the sex between us, having said that it is pretty incredible. But it’s how easy I can talk to her. How she doesn’t expect too much from me. But most importantly, it’s how she is with Lucy. Lucy will always be my reason for breathing and Sophie gets this. She isn’t the type of girl who would try and come between us.
“I just think maybe it’s too soon.”
“Why is it too soon?” he asks, his voice raised. “Lindsay had fucking walked out that front door. You and I both know the only reason she walked back through to you is Lucy. She had left you. She wanted to start over with that arse hole of a boss.”
“We don’t know that,” I say interrupting him.
“Oh, come on. You knew. And do you want to know what I think?”
“I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
“I’m certain she was still seeing him throughout her pregnancy. I believe she would’ve walked out on both you and Lucy.” He is playing with fire tonight. Is he trying to get me angry?
“Why the fuck would you say that? I don’t believe that.”
“Because, it’s true.” I stare at him for a few minutes thinking about what he’s just said. I can’t believe Lindsay would’ve done that. She was desperate for a little girl.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You forget, Ethan; I’ve been here since she walked out that door. I’ve witnessed how it was with the two of you, when she came back to you. And I was here to watch you fall apart and blame yourself for everything that happened before she died and after. So don’t sit there and tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about. Because I know more than most.”
“Don’t have a go and quit with the raised voice. If you wake my daughter, you will have hell to pay.”
“Okay, but you do make me so bloody mad. I think you forget about everything Lindsay put you through. You have her placed on a pedestal, one she doesn’t deserve. She made you miserable. She hurt you. You didn’t deserve any of that. I had respect for you, for trying to make a go of it, when you both found out about the pregnancy. But she didn’t have any respect for you, because I believe she was still carrying on with the boss behind your back.”
Yeah what he’s saying is making me think, but I don’t think she would do that. But then again I didn’t think she would do it in the first place. Yeah, she insisted nothing was going on and there was nobody else. But the seed had already been planted in my mind.
“I hear you.”
“But do you? Because I think you have shut out all the bad bits of your marriage and that’s why you’re struggling to move on.”
“I am moving on. I’ve made small changes around here and then there’s Sophie.”
“And now we are back to the main topic of conversation.” I smile at his correct assumption. Sophie is what I want to talk about. “So what are you going to do about her?”
“That’s the million-dollar question. I enjoy spending time with her, but I don’t want to make things difficult for anyone else. Especially with the wedding just around the corner.” As I say it, I realise I haven’t told Stephen. His eyes fall to the floor as he downs his bottle of beer in one. Shit. I don’t know how he is going to take this.
“Spit it out, you have something to tell me.” He’s anxious.
“Christmas night Alex proposed to Libby after dinner.”
“I see.” His voice wavers only slightly, but I do hear it. I know he has Sally, but I can only imagine this is still hard for him to hear. “When is the wedding?”
“At the end of January,” I tell him.
“Fuck, that’s quick. Next you’ll be telling me she’s pregnant.” I frown and turn away from him. “Shit. She is, isn’t she?”
“Yes, but they only found out about the babies after making arrangements for the wedding.”
“You said babies.”
“She’s having twins.”
He takes another beer and leans back swinging on the chair, taking in the news I’ve given him. I suppose it is a lot to take in. I know he loves my sister and has since as far back as I can remember. It would make life easy if she felt the same about him. The thing about Stephen is he wouldn’t do anything to hurt Libby, he just w
ants her to be happy. Even though that means he has to give up on the one person he has truly loved.
“I don’t know what to say,” he tells me. “I suppose I knew it would happen. She loves him, but I swear to God, if he ever hurts her. I’ll fucking kill him.”
“I think he knows this. Look no one knows about the babies outside family and you are family. She’s not ready to tell anyone at work just yet, especially seeing as she is so early in the pregnancy. She’s not wanting to take any chances, especially after her fall at work.”
“Fuck, I heard about that from Karl. Hopefully she will learn to take it a bit easier now.” We both look at each other shake our heads and burst out laughing. Libby and take it easy don’t go hand in hand, that’s for sure. “I will say this; Libby will be a great mum.”
“I know.” I can only agree with him.
“It broke her heart making the decision to leave you and Lucy on your own. We spoke at great lengths about it. She was really upset.” He’s not telling me anything I didn’t already know, but it is still upsetting when I hear it. My sister is the least selfish person I know and I love her dearly.
My phone beeps; a text message. I look at the screen, Sophie.
How early can I come over to yours?
Me; Any time you want.
Sophie; I wish I had come tonight.
I smile at her words.
Me; I’m sure you would’ve been coming alright.
Sophie; OMG you didn’t just say that.
Me; I did and I meant it. Bring all your things tomorrow and stay here with me.
She doesn’t answer straight away. Shit I’ve frightened her off.
“What’s wrong?” Stephen asks.
“Nothing, just Sophie messaging me.”
“So why do you look so worried?”
“Because I’ve just asked her to bring all her things and stay here for the remainder of her visit.” He looks lost for words. It’s not very often I manage to surprise him. “And she’s not answered.”
I don’t get a chance to answer him, my phone buzzes, a call from Sophie.
“Do you mean that?” she asks me nervously.
“Yes, if I didn’t I wouldn’t have asked.” There’s a long pause. She’s making me nervous.
“Change of plans. I can I drop my things off at yours tomorrow and then I will come back and get ready for tomorrow night with Libby. Then when we leave the casino I will stay with you and Lucy until I go home.”
“Done. See you tomorrow.” I can’t believe she has agreed so easily.
I end the call and Stephen sits studying me.
“What?” I ask him.
“So is she going to stay here?”
“Yeah, she is.” I can feel my smile grow as I think of her.
“The problem with you, my friend, is that you need to stop living in the past and start looking to a future. A future where you are happy. Living life to the fullest and just enjoying yourself.”
“That applies to you as well then. You need to move on.”
“I already have, if I’m honest with you. It was still a shock hearing it. But I’m happy for Libby, of course I am. She deserves to be happy especially after Jeff. And Alex will take care of her. I saw that the day Jeff attacked her at the hotel. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Thank you.”
“What for?” Stephen asks.
“For helping me see sense.”
“You have me mistaken for a sexy American. She is the one who has made you see sense; you just haven’t realised it yet.” I frown. “But you will.”
I LIE HERE WITH SOPHIE wrapped in my arms stroking the bare skin of her arm, thinking of our time together. My parents kept Lucy overnight last night for me so Sophie and I could enjoy our last night together. I can’t believe she leaves me today. The room is quiet, the only noise that can be heard is our light breathing. Usually we have the baby monitor on and around this time Lucy would be waking up. We would both lie listening to my daughter as she makes her funny little noises until she was fully awake.
This past week has been amazing. My thoughts drift back to New Year at the casino. It was an eventful night. Sophie looked as sexy as hell when I clapped eyes on her. I knew I needed to have her, and I did. I pinched a key to one of the private rooms. I will never look at that table in the same light again after I had Sophie spread out and naked in front of me on it.
What a beautiful fucking sight she was.
I smile and my dick stands to attention at my memory.
It’s funny, because when we went back to our family, Sophie mentioned that Libby looked how she felt; thoroughly fucked. I could only laugh, but I needed to shake off the idea of my sister and Alex having sex. We didn’t stay long after midnight; I couldn’t wait to be home alone with her. To celebrate the New Year together.
And boy did we celebrate in style. We never even made it up the stairs. It has to go down as a night I will never forget. I know she feels the same. She’s told me often enough.
We also went out to dinner with Stephen and Sally during the week. I wanted Stephen to meet her properly and they seemed to get on. Sally and Stephen, I’m not sure what’s going on with them. Something didn’t seem right to me, but he refused to discuss it. I’m really hoping it isn’t anything to do with our conversation about Libby. He says he’s moved on, but I’m not so sure.
We’ve not spent much time with all the family. It would be fair to say we have avoided them, locked ourselves here in our own bubble away from the outside world, and enjoyed the quality time we have spent together.
Sophie goes home this afternoon to New York with her dad, and to say I’m going to miss her is an understatement. But she will be back here in a few short weeks for Libby and Alex’s wedding. We have already spoken, and she will be staying here with me. That I’m already looking forward to, having her back here with me.
We’ve not spoken to our families about us yet, although Libby and I have talked a little. She is worried for both of us; she doesn’t want to see either of us getting hurt. My mum has tried to voice her opinions, but I’ve cut her off every time, telling her it’s none of her business. I think Sophie is glad her mum is staying here, and she doesn’t have to deal with her questions on a long flight home.
Our time together has flown by, but I get the feeling our time apart will drag and that just seems unfair. Although I will be at work and should be able to keep busy with that and Lucy. But I’m sure there won’t be minute of the day that Sophie Mathews won’t be on my mind.
I’m feeling a little low at the thought of her leaving me. I’m trying to figure out how I feel about what’s going on between us. I’ve not had time to think about much this week, because we have been so busy. It’s been strange waking up to her every morning, but yet so right. I’ve been on my own for so long now. Just me and Lucy and now here for this past week it’s been the three of us.
Dare I say it; we’ve been like a family. As that thought enters my mind it scares me to death. But also excites me. I don’t know what direction our relationship is heading, but I am prepared to see where it takes us.
I feel so confused. I never expected this when I first met Sophie. I wasn’t looking for anyone in my life, but now. Now, I don’t want to lose her.
Sophie moves her head slightly and her eyes flutter open. I smile in amusement watching her awaken fully. Sophie has told me she’s not much of a morning person, but she’s been up early every morning this past week. Mostly because my daughter has a fine set of lungs on her and seems to want to be in Sophie’s arms instead of mine. I have a feeling Lucy is going to miss having her here as well.
“What time is it?” she asks sleepily.
“Still early.”
“Good, because I’m not ready for our time together to come to an end yet.” Neither am I. I wrap my arm tighter around her as she shifts position in the bed. “I wish I had another few days.”
“And if you did, what woul
d you use them for?” I ask her, wondering what she will say.
“To spend more time with you.”
“You will be back here soon enough. You can have a full week with me.”
“I want you to come back to New York for Connor’s wedding. What do you say?” She has taken me by surprise. There’s no way I could swan off to New York and leave Lucy, even if I could talk my mum into watching her. I would miss her too much.
“I have Lucy to think about. I don’t know if I could lea . . .” She silences me with a kiss.
“In my eyes it’s not just you, in whatever is going on between us, but Lucy too. She is part of you. One doesn’t go without the other. I want you both to come.” This is probably one of the many reasons I could be falling for Sophie; she understands and accepts Lucy is part of me. She is far too wise for her years. “Now make me happy and tell me you will BOTH come to Connor’s wedding with me?” Her voice pleads with me.
How can I turn her down now?
I sit up quickly and leave her lying on her back. I move my body until I’m on top of her. Her eyes are twinkling as she watches me, still waiting for a response to her question.
“Ethan . . .” she sighs.
“Yes, I will make you happy. We would be more than happy to attend Connor’s wedding with you and I know I speak for both Lucy and I.” The smile on her face grows. So that’s one to me. “Now, I believe I can make you even happier,” I tease.
“Oh, I don’t think so. That will take some beating; I don’t think anything could make me happier.”
I lean closer and place small kisses around her neck. She moans in appreciation, moving her neck, allowing me more access. I slowly work my way up until our lips are almost touching. With one hand my fingers delicately trace the curves of her sexy body. Her eyes close.
“So, can I make you happier?”
Her voice is barely audible. “I’m sure you are going to try.”
“Oh, sweetheart. I’m going to do so much more than try. We don’t have Lucy to worry about this morning, no interruptions, just you and me.” I don’t let her respond as I claim her mouth. She returns the kiss eagerly. No hesitation. Her hands pull me closer, closing the gap between us.
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