***
Finn made a seemingly miraculous recovery over the next day or two, wanting to do nothing but eat and sleep as a variety of doctors came his way to question him over how he was feeling and subjecting him to a battery of tests.
Did he know who the Prime Minister was? Tick.
Did he know what year it was? Tick.
Did he know what his own name was? Tick.
What did he do for a living? Tick.
What was his address? Tick. Admittedly that one took a little time, but he got there eventually.
Did he know who his girlfriend was? Tick. Well, after the initial prompting from his mum, he knew exactly who she was. Although the fact that every time he opened his eyes the said girlfriend was sitting there looking at him must have helped him assimilate that fact.
Could he remember the accident? And that was when things got a little hazy. He recalled being at work that day, he could tell in detail what he’d had for lunch—a hot pastrami panini with a banana smoothie—although interestingly he couldn’t remember the meeting with Owen Richardson and his appointment as a partner. He remembered the journey home from work, but he couldn’t remember anything beyond that point. He had no recollection of turning up at Ruby’s flat or buying any flowers and champagne. What they ate over dinner was a complete mystery to him. Every snippet of conversation lost to him. He had no idea that Ruby had told him that she didn’t want to marry him or that he’d left the flat in a hurry. He couldn’t remember Ruby calling out his name, asking him to stay. He couldn’t remember teetering at the top of the stairs before losing his footing. He couldn’t remember the moment, that terrible moment when he fell to an uncertain end.
He didn’t know that their relationship was over or that the wedding was off. And neither did anyone else. Apart from Ruby. Oh, and Laura, remembered Ruby, her heart sinking.
None of it, none of the events of the evening that had been torturing Ruby’s mind ever since that fateful night, had even registered in Finn’s mind.
‘It’s not unusual in cases where patients have sustained a severe head injury for there to be a total lack of recall of the events leading up to the traumatic event,’ one of the doctors explained.
‘Will his memory come back in time?’ Ruby asked.
The doctor shrugged.
‘It’s impossible to tell. Each case is different. Sometimes full memory comes back immediately, in other patients it takes a little time and, in others, it may never return to normal, there may always be a gap in some places.’
Ruby gulped.
‘Finn will receive ongoing treatment on an outpatient basis, but rehabilitation is likely to be a long-term process. At the moment we have every reason to be optimistic about Finn’s prognosis. He might encounter some difficulties in returning to his everyday life, he might experience some tiredness, concentrating for any length of time, there may or may not be small changes to his personality, but other than that I can see no reason why Finn cannot continue his recovery at home now.’
Jan and Gerry beamed at Ruby and she rearranged her features into something that she hoped matched their enthusiasm.
‘What wonderful news!’ she exclaimed, while her whole body was flooded with complete and utter dread.
Of course she was thrilled that Finn was better and that he would be going home. She was hugely relieved that she hadn’t inadvertently sent him to his death or consigned him to a life trapped in a coma. Compared to the despair she’d found herself in these last few weeks, this was the most amazing, wonderful news she could have hoped to hear. Things were looking rosier than she could ever have imagined. Some sort of normality loomed on the horizon. The only trouble was, despite the reassurances from the doctors, Ruby couldn’t help thinking that Finn was still very far removed from the man she knew before the accident.
Standing in the hospital room, his bags packed, waiting to go home, Finn not only looked different with his hair grown long, a trace of stubble on his cheeks, his broad, powerful physique now leaner, more rangy, but his whole demeanour seemed altered too. Ruby couldn’t quite put her finger on what was different, but she sensed an edginess and an impatience in him that she found unsettling. Oh, and that voice! That was on the far-out freaky side of unsettling. Gone were the perfectly rounded cut-glass vowels that gave away his middle-class upbringing, replaced by a deep slack-jawed drawl with a very definite antipodean twang.
‘It happens,’ the doctor said by way of explanation. ‘It’s pretty rare. I think I’ve only ever seen one other case of this in my career, but it’s not completely unheard of. There are a number of documented cases. Finn’s normal voice may return, but then again…’
Ruby nodded. Yes, yes, she knew. She’d come to realise that the medical profession had about as much idea as to what might happen to Finn as her long-deceased grandmother. Really they had less than no idea.
So Finn, her boyfriend/ex-boyfriend, whatever you liked to call him, was back, but not quite as she’d known him. Now, he looked different, acted differently and sounded like Hugh Jackman’s younger, more badass brother.
What was going on?
Perhaps the memories of that night were just bubbling beneath the surface waiting to implode. Maybe he couldn’t remember the accident because he’d been so traumatised by what Ruby had told him. The memories so terrible that he’d buried them deep into his psyche. And turned into a completely different human being.
No! She was being ridiculous. She’d only dumped him. People got dumped every day. Obviously it was one of life’s distressing events, but maybe Ruby’s guilt was making her build this up into something much bigger than it needed to be.
Still, she couldn’t help thinking that Finn was a ticking time bomb just waiting to detonate. The doctors had suggested that his memories of that night might never return but at the same time they could return at any moment. Helpful or what? Ruby could see she’d have to walk on eggshells for the time being.
She was reminded of that saying, ‘If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?’ Did the same thing apply to boyfriends? she wondered. If you dumped your boyfriend, but inconveniently he bashed his head and lost all memory of it, did that still count? Or, as Ruby rather suspected, were you right back where you started from a few weeks earlier with a wedding looming and a boyfriend you were desperate to be rid of? She couldn’t bear the thought of having to go through that long, torturous process again. She’d nearly killed him the first time round; maybe next time she wouldn’t be so lucky.
Only now she had the added complication of said boyfriend being at the beginning of a long recovery process and, however unkind dumping him a few weeks ago seemed, to dump him now after everything he’d been through would be downright cruel.
She sighed, panic threatening to overtake her as they left the safety of the hospital’s walls; perhaps this was a very elaborate way of the universe telling her she really should be marrying Finn after all.
Chapter Eight
‘What would you like to do now?’
They were back at Finn’s flat. Ruby had made tea while Jan sorted out Finn’s clothes, changed his bed linen and generally spruced up the flat, and Finn and Gerry sat on the sofa making stilted blokeish conversation as they watched the match on the telly.
‘It’s all done, darling.’ Jan came in from the bedroom, a feather duster in her hand. ‘But I’d be much happier if you came to us for a week or two, just until you’re back on your feet. It would be no trouble and your dad and I would love to have the chance to look after you. We haven’t done that for a while, have we?’
‘Nah. It’s fine.’ He shifted along the sofa to look around her, his focus kept on the screen in front of him. ‘In fact why don’t you go now?’
‘Oh…okay. Well, I’ll tell you what we’ll do. We’ve got some meals in the freezer at home. I’ll go and collect some and drop them round later, see how you’re doing.’
‘Mum! Just leave it. I don’t ne
ed you doing my cleaning or bringing me meals. I’m not a child! In fact, I don’t need anything from you. Just go, would you? If you want to do anything for me, do that.’
Jan’s face fell.
‘Finn!’ Ruby chastised him with a horrified look.
‘Well, you heard what the doctor said. It’s better for my recovery if I get back to some sort of normality. And the sooner, the better. Besides I’ve got you to look after me.’ His gaze ran the length of Ruby’s body and that lazy smile flittered over his face.
She turned away, not feeling in the least bit inclined to return his smile. He’d done nothing but snap at his parents all afternoon.
‘Well, if you’re sure.’ Jan sighed, looking forlorn as she picked up her handbag from the floor. ‘We’ll be on our way, then, but any problems whatsoever and you promise you’ll call us.’ She looked anxiously at Ruby, who gave her a reassuring nod. ‘You’ll definitely come to us for Sunday lunch soon though? I won’t take no for an answer on that one.’
‘Of course we’ll come, won’t we, Finn?’ Ruby breezed, trying and failing to inject some enthusiasm into a positive response from Finn. She gave him a surreptitious nudge in the ribs with her elbow when he didn’t respond, which only elicited a shrug. She sighed, exchanging a conspiratorial smile with Jan.
She knew this was hard for Finn—he seemed uncomfortable in his own home, not knowing what to do with himself—but she knew too that his parents were struggling with this new tight-lipped, moody version of their son who kept on rejecting their well-meaning offers of help.
None of them had thought much beyond Finn waking up. It had been their only concern. If only he woke up then everything would be right in the world and any other problems would pale into insignificance compared to what would have been an uncertain future in a hospital bed. That was still true, mused Ruby, as she and Finn waved goodbye to his parents, but it was only just dawning on her that they might all have underestimated the problems Finn might have to face.
Finn had been adamant ever since he found out he would be leaving hospital that he wanted to go home to his flat and Jan was equally adamant that he shouldn’t be on his own. It was Finn who came up with the perfectly reasonable solution that Ruby could move in for a while to take on the job of looking after him, if everyone insisted it was what he needed. After all, it was perfectly reasonable for your girlfriend and your soon-to-be wife to want to take on that role. Ruby had often stayed over at Finn’s in the past. It was just as easy for her to get to the restaurant from here as from her own place.
There was no reason why she shouldn’t be here, she thought as she watched Gerry’s car disappear out of sight. No reason whatsoever. Well, apart from the fact that she wasn’t sure she still qualified as doting girlfriend material and if she wasn’t actually doing a huge injustice to Finn by pretending otherwise.
‘What would you like to do now, then?’ she repeated, her voice unnaturally bright. She turned to face him, feeling as if an unexpected foreign exchange student had turned up on her doorstep, not knowing the first thing to say or do with him.
They’d already had two mugs of tea since they’d been home and she’d exhausted all her polite conversation about the weather and the loveliness of Finn’s flat.
He shrugged. It seemed to be his preferred method of communication lately. His gaze lingered on Ruby’s face as though he was counting each and every one of her freckles, a one-sided smile suggesting that he was almost, if not quite, getting there. Ruby shifted on her feet, dropping her gaze to the floor, feeling suddenly self-conscious alone with him.
‘Let’s talk. I feel as if I don’t know the first thing about you. Come and sit down next to me,’ he said, patting the sofa beside him. ‘Tell me about yourself?’
This wasn’t awkward at all. Ruby cringed inwardly, outwardly, with every fibre of her being. It was like going out on a first date with someone you’d known for years, but realising you didn’t actually know the first thing about them.
‘Well,’ she said, laughing nervously, hoping this little chat wasn’t leading up to something much more serious. She wasn’t ready for those deep and meaningful kinds of conversations just yet.
‘Where to start? What do I like? Well, I like drawing, that’s my main passion. I’m trying to get my business off the ground as a freelance illustrator, but art is something I have always loved to do and if I’m not drawing for work then I’m drawing for my own pleasure.’
‘Really,’ he said, nodding distractedly as he began to run a finger down the length of her arm.
‘Yes, and, um, I really like reading and knitting and going to the theatre. We both like to do that last one.’ She had no idea which bits he knew and which bits he didn’t so she just carried on regardless.
‘Okay, well, that sounds cool.’
‘And I like cooking and eating out and spending time with friends. Those sorts of things.’
His touch on her skin was really rather distracting.
‘Great, great, but what about us? What are we like together? What do you like me doing to you? You’re going to have to remind me, Rubes.’
Now his breath was hot on her neck sending heat waves of anticipation around her entire body.
‘Oh, God!’ she exclaimed, feeling her cheeks flush red. ‘Just the normal types of things, you know.’
‘Hmm, right. Well, do you want to tell me what those might be?’ he said, whispering in her ear. His hand was now smoothing a trail over the curve of her stomach. ‘You need to help me out here.’
She sensed Finn didn’t need any help whatsoever. He knew exactly what he was doing.
‘That…there…that’s just fine, but not right at the moment. Really I ought to get on, do some jobs. These mugs won’t wash themselves, will they?’ she said, not expecting this, so soon.
Finn sat back in the sofa and gave a lazy sigh, his hand reaching for hers. ‘I think I’d like to go to bed actually,’ he said in a low, throaty drawl.
‘Yes, of course, what a good idea!’ said Ruby, relief rushing through her body. ‘You must be exhausted. It’s been a big day,’ she said, with a smile. ‘Go and have a nap and I’ll make us some supper.’
‘No.’ He grabbed hold of her wrist, his other hand reaching for her face. ‘With you. I’d like to go to bed with you.’
‘Oh…’ She emitted a small noise that tried to disguise itself as a laugh. ‘Well, I don’t know if we should. I mean, you’ve not been well and there’s…’ He leant in, his lips finding the crook of her neck, his touch sending a shock wave of desire through her body, surprising her with its intensity.
‘Er… Finn, no, we shouldn’t,’ she said, trying desperately to come up with some reasons why they shouldn’t. She tried to extract herself from his embrace, but his hold was strong and powerful and, more worryingly, far too appealing.
‘Why not?’ He loosened his hold on her wrist, but simply transferred his grip to her shoulders, his eyes roaming her face, looking for all the world like a man who’d just emerged from a coma and discovered he had a burning ravenous hunger.
‘Umm…’ Her voice trailed away.
At that particular moment with the broadness of his firm chest touching hers and her entire being feeling swamped in the shadow of his huge frame, she could come up with no good reason as to why not.
Her breath came in rapid short bursts, her legs feeling wobbly beneath her. Why not? Well, because she’d spent the last six months avoiding his touch, feigning tiredness from work and blaming it on the stress of having to organise a wedding. It hadn’t been difficult to convince Finn. He’d been putting in all hours at work and their time together was limited as it was. Finn, being the respectful, sensitive man that he was, understood completely when Ruby had rejected his advances, claiming she was too tired. It didn’t matter, Finn had reassured her, there would be plenty of time for togetherness after the wedding.
It had seemed all so easy then, but now, with Finn’s breath heavy against her cheek and the stre
ngth of his desire all too evident as his body pressed against hers, it seemed anything but easy. Suddenly everything had become incredibly complicated. And pressing… And Finn’s sensitive side seemed to have been replaced by a wildly animalistic side.
‘Well…’ She cleared her throat, sounding like a newly qualified primary school teacher. Twisting her lower body away from his very distracting and increasingly fervent evidence, she lifted her chin to the air, taking a deep breath. ‘Remember what the doctors said. You need to take things slowly. We don’t want to do anything that might jeopardise your recovery. Maybe…oh, my God…ooh, no!’ Ruby giggled as Finn’s hand swept across her backside, yanking her closer into his body. She looked up at him with a start, their lips a hair’s breadth away. Her whole body tingled in a way that made her toes curl. ‘Would you please stop it, Finn? I am trying to have a serious conversation with you here.’
‘Jeez, Ruby, what’s there to talk about? Do we really need to be having this conversation right now?’
‘Yes. No. Oh, I don’t know,’ she said, realising she’d lost control of the situation and trying desperately to regain it. ‘I just don’t want you having a relapse, that’s all.’
He laughed a throaty chuckle that infiltrated her defences. Despite what her head was telling her, her body seemed to have its own agenda. His breath on her face, his hands sweeping the length of her body as though he were discovering it for the first time, taunted and teased every sense in her being.
‘It was my head I damaged, that’s all. My body is in complete working order, or else it would be if I was only given the opportunity.’ A wry smile spread across his lips, the one that he seemed to have picked up at the hospital. ‘Come on, babe, it’s all I’ve been thinking about ever since I woke up. Seeing you there when I opened my eyes, I can’t describe what that felt like. For a moment I had no idea who you were. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven and you were my welcoming angel. Honestly.’
Hopelessly Devoted to You Page 7