by Nova Weetman
Go back and choose all over again!
Before Jack could lean down to kiss me, I turned my head, grabbed my bag and marched out into the rain.
‘Do you want to check out the markets next?’ I said. It was pouring, but I wasn’t going to stand under that awning with Jack and let him kiss me while he still had a girlfriend. That was just going to end badly for me. And I really didn’t want to go home heartbroken. Not after how long it had taken me to get over him last time.
Jack caught up with me. ‘Um, Frankie, you’re going the wrong way.’
I had no idea where I was going, I was just walking. Trying to get away from the moment.
‘It’s this way,’ he said.
I followed Jack back in the other direction, neither of us talking. Jack’s phone started ringing and, as he pulled it out, I knew it would be Asha calling. He looked at the phone and then at me.
‘Aren’t you going to answer it?’ I asked.
‘Um,’ he stalled.
I was so embarrassed that I just wanted the ground to swallow me up. In fact, the idea of having to spend the rest of the day hanging out with him was more than I could deal with.
‘Actually, Jack, I don’t feel so well,’ I said, lying. ‘I think I’m just going to head home.’
He nodded as his phone beeped. Possibly as relieved as I was that this whole awkward moment was vanishing. ‘Do you know how to get home?’ he asked.
‘I’ll find it. ’ I said. ‘Would it be quicker to catch the Tube than a bus?’
‘Yeah. You know where we got off the bus at Liverpool Street station? You can catch the Tube from there.’ He pulled a small map of the Underground out of his wallet and showed me where I needed to change lines, and where to get out. ‘It’s pretty straightforward.’
I actually didn’t care if I ended up on the moon. As long as I didn’t have to be there with Jack.
‘Okay. See ya.’ I didn’t wait for him to say goodbye. I just spun round and started walking.
I was so mad at him. He would have kissed me, and then what would have happened? I would have been pretending it hadn’t happened for the rest of the holiday. He was no better than Asha. In fact they were a good pair. They could cheat on each other happily for the rest of their lives. As long as they both stayed away from me.
Liverpool Street station was enormous and had some cool little shops that I knew Gen would have loved, so I bought a few things for her and that made me feel better. I stocked up on badges, new notebooks and pencils, and some cool nail polish.
By the time I found my way home, I’d decided I didn’t want to be around Jack at all. And I had a plan that I hoped Mum might understand.
She was trying on her gorgeous new dress for the awards night when I found her.
‘You look great,’ I said, smiling at the sight. And she did. It really suited her.
‘I’m a bit nervous, Frankie. About tonight. I don’t like making speeches,’ she said.
I totally understood that. Singing was fine because it was the thing I knew I was good at, but I wasn’t a fan of public speaking either.
‘You’ll be fine, Mum,’ I said. I was actually really excited about seeing Mum accept the design award. So excited that for a second I almost forgot what I’d wanted to talk to her about. Almost, but not quite. ‘So, I saw an ad at the Tube station,’ I said, changing tack.
‘Mmm?’ she said, sounding like her thoughts were somewhere else.
‘An ad for the Eurostar. Did you know that Paris is less than three hours from London?’
She stopped looking at herself in the mirror and turned towards me. Even though she could be vague when she was thinking about work, she was so good at knowing when I was about to say something important. ‘Is that right?’ she smiled.
‘Yes. Do you think we could go? It’s not far. And we could eat cheese. And baguettes. It would be amazing,’ I said, knowing it was probably sounding mad. And by the look on Mum’s face, I was right.
‘Where’s all this coming from?’ she asked. ‘I thought you liked London.’
Should I tell her the truth? Or just try to fudge it past her? That didn’t usually work so I took a big breath. ‘I do, but I’d kind of like to get away from Jack for a few days.’
‘Is everything okay?’ she asked. She had her Worried Mum face on.
‘Yes. But it’s pretty full-on staying here, and I just need a break,’ I said, hoping she’d stop at that.
Surprisingly, Mum didn’t push it. Instead she got this dreamy look on her face and sighed. ‘It would be lovely, wouldn’t it? A girls’ trip to Paris?’
‘Yeah,’ I said enthusiastically.
‘If we went tomorrow …’
‘What?’ I couldn’t believe my ears.
‘Well … I’m just thinking. It could only be for a few days. I’ve got a meeting in the London office at the end of the week. But I could do some preparation for it while we’re in Paris. And I could fit that in around some sightseeing. As long as you don’t mind hanging out with your boring old mum,’ she said, smiling.
‘Are you kidding? That would be awesome!’ I said. I couldn’t think of anyone I’d rather be in Paris with. I know it was supposed to be a romantic city, but romance was overrated. This was a chance to travel and see an amazing new city.
Mum smiled. ‘My French is a bit rusty, so you might need to help me out.’
Her French was rusty! I may have ‘studied’ French at school, but it seemed we mainly practised ordering coffee with milk. As long as all Mum wanted was a café au lait, we’d be fine. But I decided now was not the time to reveal this piece of information.
‘Of course! It’d be great to practise my French!’ I said.
‘Okay. Why not?’ she said. ‘We never have holidays.’
I grinned. Mum was the best.
‘On one condition, Frankie,’ she added.
‘Yeah?’
‘You tell me what really happened with Jack when we’re on the train,’ she said, smiling.
‘Deal.’
Actually, I was looking forward to having a proper chat with Mum and hearing what she had to say about everything that had happened with Jack. Maybe I was crazy not to kiss him today, when I still liked him so much, but if he was with Asha, it just didn’t seem fair – to her, or to me. When I fell for someone properly, it wouldn’t be someone who had a girlfriend. It would be someone who liked me as much as I liked him.
And at least this way I was going to get to eat croissants, see the Eiffel Tower, and have an amazing time in Paris with my mum – boys may come and go, but you only get one mum, and I knew she’d always be there for me, no matter what. Besides, from what I’d heard, French boys could be pretty cute. At least as cute as English ones.
Go back and choose all over again!
I took a huge breath and then said, ‘Actually, Dad. I did go to the party.’ Then I added, lamely, ‘I sneaked out. But only for an hour.’
‘What?’ asked Dad, sounding surprised.
‘I’m really sorry,’ I said, looking away from him.
‘You actually went?’ asked Dad, obviously trying to get his head around the idea.
I didn’t trust myself to speak, but I managed to nod. As I looked back at him, I saw disappointment flood his face.
‘With Ellie?’ asked Jan sharply.
I didn’t want to drop Ellie in it so I’d started to say no when I heard, ‘Yeah, it was all my idea. I made her come.’
I spun round and saw Ellie, in her pyjamas, standing in the doorway. She walked over to the table and sat down next to me.
‘I’d already told everyone I was going, Mum, and then you changed your mind. I was mad. So I sneaked out. Frankie just came to keep me company.’
I think I was even more shocked than Dad was. I so hadn’t expected Ellie to say anything. And now she was even trying to take all the blame.
‘I could’ve said no, Ellie,’ I said, not wanting it to sound like she’d made me go. ‘It’s not your fault
.’
She smiled really warmly at me. And it almost made it okay, but then Dad said, in his most hurt voice, ‘I can’t believe you’d do that, Frankie. I don’t know what to say.’
‘Oh, please,’ said Ellie, sounding angry.
Jan looked at her. ‘Ellie,’ she snapped, like a warning.
‘You guys keep us a secret from each other, and then drag us on holidays just so you can hang out together the whole time and pretty much ignore us. Of course we’re going to sneak out and go to a party,’ said Ellie.
She was right. It sucked enough that Dad and Jan hadn’t told us about each other, but then they left us alone most of the time. All we’d done was sneak out to a party for an hour. I felt like I had to say something, so I piped up with, ‘And at least we told you the truth.’
Jan and Dad looked at each other. Obviously they were thinking about what we’d said.
Then Jan nodded. ‘Fair point, El. We should have told you about each other. And we should be doing more things all together,’ she said. ‘It wasn’t the plan to leave you guys to entertain each other. I guess we’re just really new to this.’
Dad nodded. ‘Look, I’m sorry too. I want us to all get along and get to know each other. But Frankie,’ he said, looking at me, ‘there’s no excuse for your behaviour. You deliberately went out and did something behind my back that you knew I didn’t approve of. You did the right thing by coming clean, but you’re still grounded.’
I nodded, expecting that. I knew there wasn’t much point objecting, but it was going to make the rest of the holiday pretty ordinary.
Jan took Dad’s hand. ‘Maybe the grounding can wait until we get home from our holiday. They did tell the truth. And it was partly our fault. What do you think?’ she asked him softly.
Dad looked from me to Jan. Then back at me. ‘Jan’s right. But when we get home you’re grounded for two months.’
Argh, two whole months!
I’d miss out on so many things. Parties. Sleepovers. Going to the pool with Gen. But I guess at least I still got to have a holiday.
Then Ellie asked, ‘Can we still have surf lessons while we’re here, then?’
‘We?’ I asked, surprised that she wanted to come too.
‘It might be fun,’ said Ellie, shrugging.
Dad sighed. ‘Jan? What do you think?’
‘If they promise to be careful,’ said Jan, looking at Ellie and me.
Dad nodded. ‘All right. But on one condition: from now on, no more secrets!’
I couldn’t agree more.
As Ellie and I walked back into our bedroom I thought about what Dad had said. No more secrets. If I was going to spend the rest of the holiday hanging out with Ellie I had to be honest with her.
‘Last night, at the party, did you kiss Luke?’ I blurted out.
Ellie looked at me and laughed. ‘What? No! We’re friends. Just friends.’
‘It’s just that I saw you two dancing and you seemed so …’
Ellie flopped down on my bed and pulled me down next to her. ‘I’m sorry, Frankie, I didn’t even think. I was just trying to make Richie jealous.’
And then suddenly I knew I had been right the first time. Of course she liked Richie. That’s why I’d seen her crying. ‘Because he’s got a girlfriend?’
Ellie nodded. ‘Yep. I thought they’d broken up until last night. So I went to the party hoping …’
‘And then you found out they were still together and you wanted to pretend you didn’t care?’ I said, finishing her sentence.
Ellie smiled at me. ‘Wow, you really get it.’
‘Yeah. I do. It happened to me a few weeks back. I liked this guy, Tom Matthews, for ages and just when I thought something was going to happen, he introduced me to Jas.’ I pulled a face just thinking about it.
‘It’s the worst, isn’t it?’ asked Ellie.
I nodded. ‘But you know what? In a few weeks, it won’t feel so bad.’ And as I said it, I realised it was true. It still made me sad to think about Tom, but by the time I saw him again at school, I knew it would be okay.
Then I grinned at her. ‘Besides, I think surfing lessons will definitely help. Nothing like falling off a board over and over to make you stop thinking about a boy.’
Ellie laughed. ‘Who said anything about falling off? I plan to ride a wave all the way to the shore.’
‘Sounds good to me.’
Then Ellie really surprised me by slinging her arm around my shoulder, and saying, ‘I’m glad you’re here, Frankie. I think we’re going to have fun.’
‘Yeah. Me too,’ I said, and I really meant it.
‘Come on, Frankie, we’re going to be late,’ Ellie said as we ran down onto the beach. It was our last surfing lesson and we’d slept in.
We’d spent all week learning about safety and balance, and we’d learnt how to paddle in the shallows, but we’d also spent a lot of the week falling off our boards and neither of us could really stand up yet. But this was our last day and we were determined we’d stand up and catch a wave in to shore.
We paddled out together, just a little way, and when the instructor blew his whistle, we turned around and lay waiting for the next wave. Ellie reached out her hand for mine and grabbed it.
‘Here comes a wave, El,’ I said, getting ready.
‘It’s huge!’ said Ellie laughing.
As the wave rolled towards us, Ellie and I let go of each other and grinned. We were sucked back a little, and we paddled madly against it.
‘Go, go, go,’ yelled Ellie, as the wave started to break.
We jumped onto our knees as it rushed forward, then both stood up, screaming and whooping at each other, as we caught it all the way until our boards got bogged in the sand. We jumped up and hugged each other, and cheered so loudly I think Dad and Jan would have heard us from the house.
Go back and choose all over again!
‘I don’t blame Ellie for sulking,’ I said finally. ‘She’s probably sick of hanging out with me.’ I was certainly sick of hanging out with her all the time. Especially given how she was with Luke last night.
Jan stood up. ‘I’m going to get her up. Maybe a swim would help.’
As Jan left the kitchen, Dad rubbed my arm and said, ‘Nobody could be sick of hanging out with you, Frankie.’
‘You obviously are,’ I said, before I could stop myself.
Dad looked surprised. ‘What do you mean, honey?’
‘Well, you and Jan are just together all the time and you go off and leave me and Ellie together and we don’t even know each other.’
‘Oh, kiddo. I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you felt like that. I tried to include you last night, but you didn’t want to watch the DVD with us.’
Now I felt really bad. He’d just reminded me that I’d sneaked out. Part of me still wanted to tell him, but I knew he’d be furious with me, and I definitely wasn’t planning on doing it again. And if I hadn’t been so hurt about Dad not wanting to spend time with me, maybe I wouldn’t have even gone to the party.
‘Dad, I don’t always want to be with you and Jan. Sometimes I just want to be with you.’ There. I’d said it.
He nodded and then smiled. ‘Aw, that’s a nice thing to hear. I’m glad you still enjoy my company. I’m sorry you’ve felt left out. I wanted you to get to know Jan and Ellie, but maybe I’m doing it all wrong.’
‘Well, not all wrong. But maybe a bit.’
He ruffled my hair. ‘I’ll talk to Jan. We’ll make sure we have more time for both of you. Okay?’
I nodded. ‘Thanks, Dad.’
Ellie was in the shower when I went back to the bedroom, so I lay down on my bed and picked up my book. Before I could read more than a few lines, Dad knocked on the door.
‘Frankie, honey?’ he called through. ‘There’s a boy called Luke here to see you.’
‘What?’ I asked sharply, jumping up.
‘He’s upstairs. Said he missed you at the party last night,’ said Dad.
> I realised Dad was telling me the truth. Luke really was upstairs. I had no idea why, but I did know I wasn’t even dressed yet. I was still in my singlet and shorts, and I had bad morning hair and disgusting breath. Nice. Ellie had locked the bathroom door so I couldn’t do much about either.
‘Coming!’ I yelled. I threw on some clothes and tried to flatten down my bed head with my hands. It was hopeless, so I tied my hair up in a ponytail and went out.
‘He seems nice,’ said Dad, arching an eyebrow, obviously amused by my panicked state.
I nodded, confused about why Luke was in the house and why he wanted to see me, but relieved that he hadn’t blown my cover. I walked into the kitchen and I saw him leaning against the bench chatting to Jan. He had on the same clothes he’d been wearing at the party.
‘Morning, Frankie,’ said Luke with that gorgeous grin of his.
I managed a hi.
Jan smiled at me. ‘Luke was just telling me about the party last night. Seems you girls missed a good one. Now your dad has met Luke I’m sure he won’t mind if you go to the next one.’
Next one? I still had no idea what Luke was doing here.
‘Want to come for a walk to the beach, Frankie?’ asked Luke.
I looked at Dad. Would he say yes? He shrugged and then nodded.
‘Okay,’ I said, walking over to Luke.
I wasn’t used to boys I liked being around my parents, and Luke seemed way too confident about how to behave around Jan and Dad. It made me even more nervous.
We didn’t say anything until we’d walked down the path away from the house, I think we both knew that Jan and Dad might have overheard. But as soon as we were out of earshot, I burst out with, ‘What the hell are you doing here?’
‘Glad to see me, are you?’ said Luke.
‘No! I mean, yes! I don’t know,’ I said, sounding even more ditzy and confused than I felt.
‘You ran off last night. You didn’t even say goodbye,’ said Luke.