19
“When can you and the baby go home?”
Lisa sunk into the hospital bed and pulled the covers against her body. “Home? Where is that?”
“You know what I mean,” Nina corrected. “When will you and the baby be able to go back to Marguerite’s house?”
Lisa clung to those covers and seemed to sink even deeper into bed. “You know how they say that new mothers feel joy when holding their baby for the first time? And how we’re supposed to forget all the pain we went through bringing that baby into the world?”
“Yeah,” Nina touched her belly. “I’m counting on that.”
Lisa looked at Nina. “I didn’t forget.”
Nina could feel Lisa’s emptiness by the sadness projecting from her eyes.
“I still remember every ounce of the pain. My little girl brought me no joy at all.” She released the covers to wipe away the tears rolling down her cheeks. “Maybe my mother never forgot the pain either. Maybe that’s why she treated me like dirt.” Lisa scooted around in bed and wiped away a few more tears. “When I was ten years old, a doctor fell in love with my mother. He was moving his practice to Nashville and wanted my mother to come with him. Just one catch, though. No kids allowed. So Mommy dearest handed me over to my grandmother and never looked back.”
“I’m sorry that happened to you.” Wanting desperately to say more, but not knowing what to say, she began to rub Lisa’s back. Lisa might never forget the pain inflicted by her mother, but Nina knew that if she turned her life over to Jesus, in time, she would be able to forgive. Nina only wished she knew how to communicate this message to Lisa. Nina silently communicated with the Lord while she continued to rub Lisa’s back. I know Lisa needs You, but I don’t know what to do.
Pray.
Nina jumped. “Did you hear that?”
“Hear what?” Lisa asked.
A nurse trotted into the room with Lisa’s baby. She was grinning from ear to ear as she told the baby, “Here’s Mama. Now you can stop all that fussing.” She handed the baby to Lisa. “Mama’s going to take real good care of you.”
The baby made a gurgling sound while she was being transferred from nurse to mother. Lisa looked down just as her baby girl looked up at her. That’s when the weeping and wailing really got started. Lisa looked at Nina as she rocked her baby. Sorrow was embedded deep in her eyes. “You see, she can feel the pain too.”
Tears rolled down Lisa’s face. Nina started praying. Lord, take away Lisa’s pain and restore joy to her. Give her the joy that comes from knowing You. Lord, please help her to treat this baby right. Teach her how to love and care for what You have placed in her care.
Nina rubbed the baby’s back.
The baby cooed and gurgled.
Nina continued rubbing her back.
Lisa looked up. “She’s calming down.”
“See,” Nina took Lisa’s hand and put it on the baby’s back. “Just keep rubbing.”
Lisa smiled at Nina. “She stopped crying.”
Nina pointed to the baby. “Smile at her, Lisa. Talk to her. Let her know how much you care.”
Lisa and the baby started interacting. Nina started feeling like a third wheel, so she grabbed her purse and backed out of the room. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she told Lisa, then headed out of the hospital.
Nina was getting ready to walk to the bus stop when Isaac pulled up beside her. “I called the house. They told me you were at the hospital. You alright?”
Nina stopped. “Lisa just had her baby. I came to visit.”
“The girl that’s always so nasty to you? What you visit her for?”
“God requires us to treat everybody right. Even the ones who don’t treat us so nice.”
“Whatever.” Isaac got out of his truck and took Nina by the arm. “Come on, I’ll take you home.”
At first Nina thought to resist, but the tiredness within her body betrayed her. She sat down on the passenger side and rubbed her legs. She desperately wanted to rub her feet too, but couldn’t reach them.
Isaac looked over at Nina. Her stomach was so huge she couldn’t get the seat belt on. “You’ve gotten bigger,” Isaac informed her.
Nina laughed. “That’s the way it works, Isaac. I keep getting bigger, until one day the baby just pops out.”
He smiled. “I can’t wait to see him.”
Nina became mesmerized as Isaac’s chocolate skin dipped into his cheeks. She shook herself, then turned to stare out the window. I’m sure there are plenty of saved men with deep dimpled cheeks and a heavenly smile to go along with it. Besides, this is not God’s best for you, Nina reminded herself.
By the time they reached Marguerite’s house, all she could think about was climbing into her bed and sleeping the day away.
Isaac put the car in park and grabbed Nina’s arm before she could get out and run away from him. “I need to talk to you, Nina.”
She looked at him.
“My baby is not going to live in no group home.” He shifted in his seat. “There’s plenty nuff room for the three of us at my house.”
“I can’t live in sin with you, Isaac.”
Isaac lifted his hands in frustration. Then, to keep his hands from going across Nina’s face or throat, he held on to the steering wheel with brute strength. “What difference does it make? You’re already carrying my baby. My God, I’m supposed to take care of you.”
Nina saw the way Isaac held onto that steering wheel, and truth be told, she was a little scared. The Lord is my Shepherd, she said to herself. To Isaac she said, “I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor His seed begging bread.”
“What?”
“God takes care of me, Isaac. He will also take care of our child.” She opened the door and started to step out of the truck, but her body disobeyed her. She looked over at Isaac. “Can you help me, please?”
“Mmh, ain’t that ‘bout nothing.” Isaac opened the door and walked over to Nina’s side of the truck. “Tell me, Nina, where is the good Lord when you need Him?”
20
Thank God for the prayers of the Saints. Kenneth came home on Thanksgiving day, two days after their meeting in his lawyer’s office. Nothing much had changed, he was still sleeping in the guestroom and still grumpy and hard to get along with. He acted like he hadn’t walked back in this house on his own two feet – like he was a prisoner or something.
“So what are your plans for today?” Kenneth asked Elizabeth as the family finished their breakfast.
Elizabeth twisted her lips as she opened her mouth to respond. It felt like molasses or super glue was in her mouth, holding it shut – trying to stop her from saying what she wanted to say. Michael told her that she needed to ask Kenneth’s permission, or at least inform him, when she wanted to do something she knew he would be against. Michael said that good marriages worked better that way. He told her that there was no room for independence in marriage, but there was plenty of give and take. Communication and compromise. As far as Elizabeth was concerned, she might as well stand around her house in an apron with a big ol’ Aunt Jemima biscuit-making hat on her head singing “Swing Low”, cause this sho’ nuf felt like slave duty.
Elizabeth massaged her jaw and opened her mouth. “I was thinking about applying for a job today. What do you think about that?”
Kenneth finished chewing the grits in his mouth, put his fork down and stared at Elizabeth. “Why do you need a job? As long as you’re here, it’s my responsibility to take care of you.”
“Just for a little extra spending money. It would only be part-time, nothing major.”
He pushed his plate away, wiped his mouth and threw the napkin on the plate. “What do you need spending money for? Don’t I provide for everybody’s needs?”
“Yes, you do.” Problem is, she had a few wants. She knew Kenneth’s money was strictly off limits when it came to her enjoyment.
“Mommy, where you work at?” Erin asked.
Elizabeth bent over
and gave Erin a kiss on the forehead. “Nowhere yet, dear.”
“What will you be doing?” Kenneth asked.
Elizabeth wiped some jelly from the corner of Erin’s mouth. “The company has a need for a part-time receptionist.”
“Isn’t that beneath you?” Kenneth asked.
No he didn’t. “Why would you say that?”
“Experience is a great teacher.”
She knew he was thinking of her attitude toward working as a receptionist at his company. “That was different, Kenneth. I have an MBA, but all you would let me do was answer your phone and type your memos. It was degrading.”
He sat up and pointed an accusatory finger at her. “You know, it’s funny how you always remember things in a way that makes you look like the victim.”
See, Lord, you can’t even talk to this man without him getting an attitude.
“Funny how you just simply forgot,” he continued. “That it was the marketing plan you put together that inspired Bank of America to give me the business loan I needed to start the company.”
“I didn’t forget, but I thought you had.”
“No, Elizabeth, I didn’t forget. But silly me. I thought an MBA could develop the marketing plan for our business and my wife could answer a few telephones and type a few memos so I wouldn’t go over my budget trying to hire an assistant. And guess what? I’d be able to stay in business another year.”
Put that way, she sounded all petty and bouje’. “Okay, Kenneth, you’re right. I should have been able to help you no matter what I was asked to do.”
He didn’t respond.
“I’ve changed, Kenneth. I think the job will be good for me.”
“And just who do you think will watch my children while you go get your spending money?” He spat those words at her as he stood up.
No sir boss, ain’t nobody around here gon’ be neglectin’ yo’ chilin. “Kenneth, I would like to discuss this. Maybe we can come up with a solution that works for both of us.” She stood up, scraped her plate into Kenneth’s and carried them to the sink.
“Look, I’ve got to go.” He picked up his briefcase and turned toward the children.
Elizabeth leaned against the sink and watched her family for a moment. Kenneth was in one of his Brooks Brothers suits. He looked good in navy blue. That yellow tie didn’t hurt him none either. Erin was jumping up and down, begging Kenneth to pick her up. Danae was in her high chair happily playing with her food. The evidence of her delight was on the floor, the table and especially all over Danae. Kenneth gave Erin a big hug and kiss. He moved toward Danae and bent down to kiss her. She reached for his tie. Kenneth stepped back, patted Danae’s head and looked at Elizabeth.
Elizabeth got excited. They had been in the same house again for a few weeks now. He had eaten breakfast with them almost every morning, but not once had he bothered to say good bye to her as he left for the day. He hadn’t bothered to tell her when he would be back home, or even if he was coming home that night. Lord, please let today be a start of something new.
“Would you clean her up? I am sick to death of having to endure this mess just to eat breakfast with my children.” He looked around the kitchen, mouth twisting like he had tasted some Ecoli in his beef patty and then chased it down with a glass of sour milk. “Part-time job. Mmph, you can’t even keep this house clean. I’ve got a suggestion for you, Elizabeth. Before you handle somebody else’s business, try handling your own!”
Each one of Kenneth’s words was like a physical blow that cut deep into her self-esteem. Her shoulders slumped as she looked around the kitchen. Okay, the kitchen did look a hot mess, but they had just finished eating. Danae has more fun playing in her food than eating it. Elizabeth didn’t think she needed to stop her. But as she saw the results of the mess through Kenneth’s eyes, she realized she had made yet another mistake. She balled her fist tightly. “You win, Kenneth. I don’t need a job, okay.” Giving in didn’t feel good, so just to let him know that she was nobody’s punk, she snippily added, “Are you happy now?”
“Smartest thing you’ve said all morning.” Kenneth turned back to his girls. “I’ll see you two later.”
“Will you be home for dinner?” Elizabeth asked.
Kenneth’s hand was on the doorknob. He turned around and stared at Elizabeth as if she had lost her mind.
“I… I was just wondering what you wanted me to fix for dinner,” she stammered.
“I have no idea what time I’ll be back. Does that answer your question?”
Elizabeth turned her back on Kenneth and started snatching the rest of the breakfast dishes off the table. He opened the door and Elizabeth rolled her eyes.
Erin tugged Elizabeth’s pajamas. “Mommy, is Daddy being a good-for-nothing again?”
Elizabeth closed her eyes real tight. Oh God, help me. I have created such a mess. She got on her knees in front of Erin. “Baby, your Daddy is a good man.”
“But you said-”
“I was wrong, Erin. Your Daddy loves you and he works real hard for his family. He takes care of us. Only a good man could do what he does for us, and I am grateful that he is a part of our family.”
Erin hugged her mom, then quickly broke free and ran toward the back door. Elizabeth turned to see Kenneth still standing in the door with a bewildered expression on his face. “Daddy, guess what? Mommy’s not mad at you anymore.”
“I’ll see you later, Erin,” was all Kenneth said, but as he closed the door, he glanced over at Elizabeth.
***
By noon the house was clean and the kids bathed. She fixed a few sandwiches. They ate lunch together, laughed and joked about nothing in particular. They just enjoyed each others’ company. At about one o’clock, Elizabeth put Erin and Danae down for their nap. She took a deep breath knowing that she had about an hour to herself.
She would spend it with the Lord. Elizabeth picked up her Bible and turned to I Peter. She had read the first and second chapters of I Peter yesterday, and was determined to finish it today.
She turned to I Peter 3. The first thing that leaped at her was:
Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the Word, they without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
Do not let your adornment be merely outward – arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel.
Rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
Elizabeth closed the Bible and clasped her hands together. “Lord, You ask too much. Isn’t it enough that I give You my love, and my life?” She remembered the way she talked to Kenneth during their discussion this morning. The things she thought about him, the way she rolled her eyes and slammed the breakfast dishes around. She was a long way from this gentle and quiet spirit that was so precious to God. She covered her face with her hands, and bowed her head in shame. “Oh Lord, why don’t I have what is so precious to You? How do I get it, Lord?”
Submit.
Elizabeth’s head jerked up, she looked around. The room was empty, but she knew she heard the word that had been haunting her since she accepted Jesus as her savior.
Why did the Lord have to ruin a perfectly good book by putting a word like submit in it? She gritted her teeth. How could she do what God wanted, when she was married to a man like Kenneth? “You see how he treats me. Why do You require this of me?”
For him, Beloved.
Why does Christianity have to be about self-sacrifice? It would be so much easier if Kenneth would bring himself to Christ without a sacrifice being laid on the altar. But instead, she was required to get something she did not possess.
Nina had a gentle and quiet spirit. Elizabeth remembered asking her how she could be so calm, and how she could keep taking nonsense from that wavy head she was carrying a baby for. Nina just smiled and said, “It
’s in God’s hands. What can I do but wait?”
Waiting was one thing, but waiting without action, without retaliation for wrongs done, was too much to ask. “Lord, You’re going to have to help me. Though I desire to please You, I can’t do this thing alone.”
At six-thirty that night, the girls were sitting at the kitchen table eating fries and hot dogs. Danae was crying as Kenneth walked into the kitchen. “What’s wrong with her?”
Elizabeth looked up. “She kept throwing her fries on the floor, so I smacked her hands.”
Kenneth loosened his tie as Danae reached out for him. “Stop all that crying, girl. You shouldn’t have thrown your food on the floor anyway.” He bent down and placed a kiss on her cheek. “You’ll be all right.”
He turned to greet Erin. “Hey little one. I came home to eat dinner with you. Why didn’t you wait for me?”
“I’m sorry, Kenneth,” Elizabeth chimed. “I didn’t know how soon you would be home. I made you some red beans and rice though.”
Kenneth walked over to the stove. He took the lid off one of the pots and savored the aroma. “Mmh, mmh, mmh, smells like home.”
“Well you go on up stairs and change. I’ll bring your food up, so you can have a few minutes of peace and quiet.”
There was that same bewildered look he had on his face earlier this morning. “You never used to care if I had peace and quiet around here.”
Elizabeth pulled Danae out of her high chair. “I just thought you might want to unwind, Kenneth. That’s all.”
“Well, I guess you thought wrong.” He grabbed a bowl out of the cabinet. “I’ll take some up with me. Have the kids come to my room when they’re finished. Okay?”
***
Elizabeth had fallen asleep on the sofa in the family room. Her Bible lay open across her stomach when Kenneth nudged her awake. She stretched and yawned. “Mmmm.” She looked up at him and stretched again. “Is something wrong?” she asked, as she sat up.
“No. Nothing’s wrong. I already put the girls to bed. I wanted to talk to you for a minute.”
Former Rain-Forsaken Box Set Page 10