I didn’t have the strength to comment. I thought he probably wanted me to baby-sit his drinking and I really wasn’t up for it.
“Whatsamatter, Parker? You haven’t heard the news?”
Josh glanced at Mac, who’d jumped into the conversation uninvited. I saw a sinister smile on Mac’s face.
“He wants to do your sister,” Mac said.
Josh’s face turned ashen and he looked over at me. His face swam in front of my eyes. “What is he talking about, Zack?”
“It’s nothing,” I managed to squeak out. ”Jane and I are friends. I might take her out.”
Mac stood up. He put both arms in front of him and made the motion of humping with his hips, his face a contortion and his arms flailing back and forth, simulating sex.
I ignored him and the howls of the guys. “Don’t worry about it, we’re cool,” I said to Josh. My voice was barely above a whisper.
Josh stared at me. “She hates hockey players you know.”
“I know,” I said.
“That’s why she digs Chase,” Mac said, mocking my strained voice and laughing. “She knows he’s a big suck ass on the ice. Guy can’t even see a body check coming. Your sister loves his sensitive side.”
“That was not a body check,” I said through clenched teeth. The pain was grating on my nerves. I wished Mac would shut up or go away.
“I can’t believe you want to take out my sister,” said Josh, beside me.
I made an exerted effort and grinned. “She’s nothing like you, that’s why I like her.” I waited a minute to monitor his reaction. At least he wasn’t freaking out. “You cool with it?”
Mac made choking noises. “He’s asking for permission to screw Parker’s sister,” he shouted to the other players.
He didn’t even see Josh charge him. The locker room went crazy. Bodies flew and shoved. Bones crunched. Eddie yanked Josh off Mac, but he flew at him again. The noise increased as guys shouted at them and each other. Then Coach Cal’s booming voice shut everyone up.
“Mac,” he hollered. “Get out of here. Now. Take your equipment and go-no lip.”
Mac frothed, but he left the locker room quietly and willingly. Before he pushed out the door open to leave, he turned to Josh and winked at him. He looked at me and lifted his middle finger.
Coach Cal walked over to where I sat. “What’s going on with you two?”
“Hey, he’s not the one who just charged Mac, Coach. That was me,” Josh said, sticking up for me.
“I know, Josh. I made a note of it. Trouble is, I don’t think any of this would be going on if it weren’t for Zachary.”
I didn’t say anything.
“What do you have to say for yourself?” Coach Cal sounded pissed.
I tried to stand up. I didn’t say anything. Because I passed out.
#
When I woke up, my mom was smoothing the hair back off my face. I opened my eyes and she smiled at me.
“Zachary,” she said. “Hey, you scared me, kid.”
I felt a little scared myself, with no idea where I was or how much time had passed.
“Where am I?” I tried turning my head, but it hurt to move it.
“In an ambulance. We’re on our way to the hospital. They think your ribs are broken.”
I closed my eyes. It still hurt like hell. Something was definitely wrong.
“Zachary?”
My mom’s voice sounded different. Scared.
“I’m okay. It just hurts.” I didn’t open my eyes. I lay still, feeling the motion of the ambulance as we drove. I wondered if the lights were flashing as we sped down the highway.
She grabbed my hand and squeezed it.
“Hockey’s not going so good this year,” I said to her, my eyes still closed.
“You’re going to be okay, Zachary. It’ll mean taking a month or so off to heal, but you’ve got a little bit of time. You’ll be back in time for the playoffs.”
I didn’t answer her. It wasn’t what I meant. I wanted to tell her I didn’t want to play in the playoffs. I didn’t want to be on a team where Mac was captain. He was a bad kid. It was bad karma. It wasn’t important to me to be the best player on this team. I didn’t want to fight someone like Mac. There were other things that mattered to me more. Like Jane, like my own life.
I thought about the school musical and hoped I still could try out for it. It was weird. It never interested me before, and at first I’d considered it just to get closer to Jane, but I realized I actually wanted to be in it--for me.
“Maybe I’ll be in the school musical while I heal.” I smiled.
I didn’t open my eyes, but I could feel my mom’s surprise.
“The musical?”
“The school’s putting on Grease.”
She didn’t say anything. I opened my eyes. “Mom?”
She touched my hand. “No. It’s okay, Zachary. I don’t think you’re going to be able to move around enough to star in a show.” She paused. “You know your dad was in his school play.”
“He was?” That threw me.
“I never saw it, obviously. It was before we met. But he told me about it. He was really proud, even though the guys tormented him. He told me about it after we’d been dating for a while. I was teasing him about being an uncultured hockey player, and he told me he was a thespian under his hockey equipment.”
I nodded, closed my eyes again. I’d never known that about my dad. More of his blood. I frowned. I’d thought this interest came from me. I’d have to rethink trying out for the show.
The ambulance bumped and I inhaled sharply, as a pain shot through my insides.
“We’re almost at the hospital,” said a female voice. I looked up. A paramedic was seated behind my mom. I hadn’t even noticed her.
“Thank God,” I said.
Mom grasped my hand tighter. “You’re so much like him, you know.”
“I’m nothing like him.”
Her voice sounded far away. ”No, you are. You have his strengths, you know. Everything good about him.” She sighed. “I loved him so much. You’re becoming the man your father was.”
I couldn’t think of anything to say. I mean, what do you say to that? I didn’t want to live out his life for her. I didn’t want to be anything like him. I wouldn’t ever do to my wife what he did to her.
A few minutes later, they wheeled me out of the ambulance and into a hallway while my mom filled out papers to admit me. I lay on a gurney for a while, waiting for X-rays that eventually revealed cracked ribs. Since they weren’t broken, it allayed our fear that they could puncture my lungs. I would be fine. Sore, but fine.
I would be out of commission for at least four weeks, the doctor said. No skating. Nothing athletic until that time had passed. They taped me up and sent me hobbling slowly out the door.
When we walked out of the examination room and back into the emergency area to leave, I stopped.
Jane was curled up in a chair, reading a book. She was engrossed in it. I glanced at my mom. She shrugged.
“Jane,” I called out.
Jane jumped up. When she spotted me, a smile lit up her face. Even in her Goth make-up and dark clothes, she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. A rebellious one, but the real deal.
She unfolded her legs and stood, sneaking a shy look at my mother as she walked towards us.
“Hello, Mrs. Chase,” she said.
“Hello, Jane. You drove all this way by yourself?” my mom asked.
Jane just nodded.
My mom glanced down at her watch. “I’ll go and grab a coffee from the snack bar, okay Zachary? I’ll be back in five minutes.”
That’s another reason I like my mom. She knows when to take a hike. I nodded. Jane and I stood quietly for a moment, watching Mom leave.
“Your mom is beautiful,” Jane said.
I turned my attention to Jane. “So are you.”
She blushed and seemed to find her feet fascinating. “I am not. Anyway.
” She looked back into my eyes. “How are you? Are you okay?” We stood in place. Moving would have hurt too much. Around us, people were sitting on uncomfortable blue chairs, waiting to see the doctors.
“Cracked ribs. I’ll live. It feels like I got stabbed, but I’m going to make it. I can’t believe you drove all this way to see me.”
She ignored that. “It was a dirty hit,” she said instead. Her lips were pinched into a thin line, her brows creased.
I tilted my head and shrugged. It was, but what could I say? I was more interested that she’d made the drive to the hospital to see me.
“Mac’s behind it.” Jane’s voice was hard, bitter.
I knew that was true, but wondered why she was so certain. “Why do you say that?”
“That’s the way he operates. He’s dirty. He gets other people to do his bad deeds for him.” She shook her head, definitely angry.
I shrugged. “No one can prove anything.”
“No. And that’s exactly the way Mac likes things. I knew he was going to do something like this.”
She chewed on her lip and I watched, feeling a little envious.
“You came to see me,” I said again, to change the subject. I didn’t want to talk about Mac anymore.
She smiled. It was the kind of smile that turns guys’ insides to mush.
“I kind of feel like it’s my fault. So I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“You drove by yourself?”
She nodded again. “Josh went home with Candy. I told him to tell Mom and Dad that I was coming here to see how you were.”
“Josh was okay with that?” I asked. I wasn’t sure how Josh would react to news of Jane visiting me, especially after what Mac had told him.
She flashed her smile again. I felt like a girl, with the way my insides reacted--all nervous and twitchy. Must have been something to do with the pain medication the doctor gave me.
“Josh was fine with it.”
“Mac told him I was interested in you.” I watched for her reaction.
“Are you?” She melted my heart the way she looked at me.
“Very.”
“I hate hockey players, you know,” she said softly, with the slightest hint of a smile.
I ignored a pang in my gut. “I guess I’m pretty much not playing hockey for a while.”
“I know.” She licked her lips.
“So will you go out with me?”
“Maybe.” Her expression was almost demure.
“A pity date?” I asked her.
We both grinned. I was about to risk further injury and lean forward to kiss her when my mom’s voice broke into our private little world.
“Um, Zachary. You ready to go?”
I didn’t turn to look at her, I could tell by her voice she was right behind me. It would have caused too much pain under the circumstances, or else I would have given her a dirty look.
“Jane’s got a car,” I said, raising my eyebrows hopefully at Jane.
Her eyes opened wide and she shook her head.
“Not this time. I want to get you home.” She stepped into our circle so she stood beside me. “Thanks for coming, Jane. To make sure Zachary’s okay. But I’d like to take him home myself. Make sure there’re no complications.”
Jane bobbed her head up and down. “Of course, Mrs. Chase. I didn’t expect to drive him home after what’s happened. I just wanted to come, you know, to make sure he was okay.”
My mom forced a smile. “We appreciate it. Well. Let’s go, shall we, Zack? You want me to get you a wheelchair?”
“I can walk, Mom. Where are you parked Jane?”
She pointed to the parking lot in front of the building.
“I’ll go get the car and bring it up front entrance. Can you walk him to the entrance, Jane, and make sure he’s okay?” my mom asked.
When Jane agreed, Mom hurried off.
I began my slow, painful walk to the hospital entrance with Jane by my side. I was glad we were pretty close to the doors.
I didn’t speak until we stopped walking. I could hardly breathe, and was worried I was going to pass out.
“Okay, Zack. I should get going. I guess I’ll see you around? You’ll probably be away from school for a while, right?” Jane said, as she shuffled her feet around.
“He’ll be out a couple of days, probably,” my mom answered for me, as she came up the walk to help me to the car.
“Can I call you?” I asked Jane.
She shook her head back and forth, looking mortified. We all started a slow shuffle to Mom’s car.
“Uh, I mean, I’ll see you at school in a couple of days. Or maybe if you need anything, I could.. . .”
She avoided my eyes. She was shy. I loved it.
“I guess you could call,” Jane said and looked at my mom and then back at me. “I mean, if you need anything picked up from school or something. . . .” She directed the message to my mom, but she really was talking to me.
“Thanks.” My mom opened passenger door for me. “Bye, Jane.”
“Thanks,” I added. “See ya soon?”
“Bye.” Jane practically ran away from us, towards the parking lot and the sanctuary of her own car.
I slid into the seat of mom’s car as carefully as I could manage.
Mom got into the driver’s seat. “Let me do up your seatbelt.” She reached over and pulled the strap across my chest. I winced a little. “Sorry, babe, but we have to put this on.”
I nodded and she clicked the seatbelt into place before starting up the car.
“That was nice of her to come. She’s a good friend?” Mom asked as she shoulder checked and pulled out of the parking spot. She didn’t look at me.
“Yeah. Maybe more.” I said it softly. Hopefully, I added silently to myself.
“Really? I still don’t think she seems like your type.” Her voice tinged with disapproval.
“What’s my type, Mom?” I turned to glare at her as she pulled out into traffic.
“I don’t know. I just see you with someone more like Claire.”
I gritted my teeth, in both anger and pain. “You know what, Mom? Claire is very over.”
“I know. And you miss her. I understand that. But, you don’t have to go out with the first girl to pay attention to you.” She watched the road.
I shook my head. “Mom. Stop it. You don’t understand anything, okay? I don’t miss Claire. And Jane is not the first girl to pay attention to me. She happens to be the first girl that I like. And no, she’s nothing like Claire. Believe me, that’s a good thing.” I turned from her, and looking out the window could see Jane’s car coming up behind us.
My mom glanced at me. “What really happened with Claire?”
“Nothing, Mom. I don’t want to talk about it.”
She pressed her lips together. I could tell she was working hard at not asking any more questions.
“So, this Jane. . .she’s a nice girl?”
“Yes.”
“It’s just that her make-up, she dresses so. . .and she looks so.. . .”
“So what?”
“I don’t know. What do you kids call it? Goth? Punk? I just don’t think she’s your type.”
“My type again. Forget it, mom. I like her. Her appearance is not what it seems.”
“Meaning?”
“She’s awesome.”
My mom glanced at me again, but wisely kept her mouth shut this time.
We drove in silence down the highway and back to town. It was dark. I hoped Jane wasn’t scared, but I didn’t imagine she would be. She didn’t seem like she’d frighten easily.
“This is going to keep you out of commission for a couple of weeks. Luckily, you should be back playing hockey by the time the scouts are around. God, I hope so. I could kill that kid! This is such an important year for you.” Mom was again refocused on what she saw as the most important thing in my life.
I shrugged and gazed out the window at the blackness. I tuned out my
mother’s comments on scouts and what they would expect from me after an injury like mine.
Her obsession with my hockey suddenly seemed bizarre. There she was, a quasi-intellectual and all, and she wanted nothing more than for me to play a game for a living. It hadn’t worked out so well for her--the hockey wife gig, I mean--yet it was still so important to her that I turn pro.
Secretly, I was kind of glad to be forced off the ice for a couple of weeks. It would give me time to concentrate on other interests, like Jane.
I glanced at my mom and smiled. She reached over and patted my leg, misunderstanding the source of my smile.
“It’ll work out, Zachary. Don’t worry.”
“I know, Mom.”
But we were talking about completely different things.
CHAPTER EIGHT
SCREW HOW IT LOOKS
“Zachary Chase. As I live and breathe! So the rumors were true. You have blessed us with your presence at our first meeting for the school musical.”
So much for sneaking in unnoticed; Mr. Wright busted me on my first footstep into the drama room.
It was only a few weeks after that drive home from the hospital, and Mr. Wright grinned at me as I walked into his classroom. I was late, but I just shrugged at Mr. Wright, feeling all of the eyes in the room as they followed me. Some were friendly, some were not. It didn’t matter so much, as I sought out the one pair of eyes that counted: Jane’s. She smiled at me from beside Cassandra. I walked close to where they sat, and leaned against the wall.
Hailey sat close to them, too. I lifted my hand to wave. She already knew about my plan to show up. She waved back.
“Sorry I’m late,” I said to Mr. Wright, who by now had stopped talking.
“This meeting is for the school musical,” he said, sounding amused.
“I know.” I ignored the laughter.
I thought I saw a look of pleasure on his face, but it disappeared as quickly as it emerged.
“Sit down, Zachary,” he told me.
“If you don’t mind, I’ll stand. It still hurts when I sit for too long.”
He glanced at my stomach as if looking for evidence, then nodded, turning his attention back to the room.
I looked right at Jane.
“Hi,” I mouthed.
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