My Secret To Bear

by Becca Fanning

  “There are some things that you need to know, especially for Taylor’s sake. Will you meet me after work? I need to tell you something important about who I am. About what I am. And it will affect our daughter someday, too.”

  Affect Taylor? What could he possibly mean by that? Kassie stared at him suspiciously, wondering if he was still playing some sort of game with her, but he seemed to be speaking with the utmost sincerity right now. After several long seconds, she sighed. “Okay, I’ll meet you… at the place where I dropped you off last time.”

  “No. Not there,” he said quickly. “That place isn’t safe,” he said. “Not for you or Taylor. I’ll meet you here and take you to another place.”

  “Fine,” said Kassie. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to work. ”

  “Ah… one second.” Cole stopped her, digging in his pocket for a moment. After a few moments, he pulled out a bedraggled-looking twenty-dollar bill. “Can I get something to eat?”

  “Save it. I’ll have something sent over.”

  “No. I’ll pay,” said Cole. “Just a burger and fries is fine. And a glass of sweet tea.”

  Wondering where he’d managed to get a little bit of money since she saw him last, Kassie went to the kitchen and put in his order, ignoring Hillary as she asked about her friend—who he was and what he wanted. Her mind was racing with thoughts as she went over the crazy story that he’d come to her with. What could he possibly have meant when he said that there were people who knew about Taylor and who could possibly want to do her harm? Surely, he had made that up. So, why did it leave a pained feeling in her chest?

  Cole sat there for the rest of the day, a shadow in his booth that kept drawing her attention away from whatever she was supposed to be doing. She couldn’t help but wonder about him and exactly what his intentions were. More than anything, she couldn’t help but worry about his presence and what it meant. It felt ominous, like a portent of something that was about to change in her life.

  But she didn’t want Cole to change her. That was the last thing that she wanted. She had already decided that. As the end of her shift came closer and he was still there, waiting for her, she went over and over the different things that she could say to tell him this—to tell him again that he needed to keep his distance from her and her child.

  However, when she did end her shift and make her way toward him, she didn’t get the chance to say anything. He stood up without a word and gestured for her to follow him out the door, and for some reason she simply walked out after him straight to her car.

  “There’s another forested area where it should be safe for us to talk,” he said.

  “Why do we need to talk in the forest?” she asked, immediately going on alert.

  “It’s not that we need to talk there. It’s that I need to show you something,” he said.

  “Cole—”

  “Please, trust me. I’m not going to hurt you,” he said, putting up his hands as if to show her that they were empty, that he wasn’t armed and there was no way for him to hurt her right then. Kassie didn’t know what to make of that, but something about the urgency with which he spoke made her decide that, for the moment at least, she should humor him. Maybe being a veteran, he just needed to be away from people. Something to do with his PTSD. She could buy that.

  Starting the car, she pulled away from the diner and out into the street, listening to his directions as he told her where the wooded area was where he wanted to go. It was on the complete opposite side of Spartanburg from the first place where she had dropped him off and a bit of a drive, but as they drove, they did so in silence, neither of them quite willing to speak to one another about what there was between them.

  More to the point, the problem was that there really wasn’t anything between them right now. They’d had one night together—a night that had resulted in a daughter—and now Kassie felt sorry for the man, that was a given. But that didn’t mean they were ever going to be anything more than strangers who had passed one another at that one moment in time.

  “Here,” said Cole suddenly, breaking Kassie out of her thoughts as they came to a point where the woods broke off to a large clearing. She pulled off and turned her car off but didn’t get out just yet.

  “So?” she asked, looking over at Cole, who was staring down at his hands in the passenger side of the car, an intense look on his face.

  He exhaled slowly. “I need you to promise me that you won’t hurt her. That you won’t abandon her,” he said.

  “What?” Kassie craned her head to the side for a better look at the man, trying to get a read on him as he spoke.

  “Promise me,” he said. “That no matter how you feel about me after this, you won’t abandon Taylor. What lies in me lies in her as well, and it may scare the hell out of you, but that doesn’t mean you should be scared of her. She shouldn’t grow up alone like I did. She deserves better than that. So, stay by her side.”

  “I would never abandon my daughter,” said Kassie. Fury boiled up inside her. The very thought offended her, and that was evident in her voice, but already Cole was nodding.

  “Good,” he said, and then he reached over, opening the car door.

  Kassie climbed out after him, stepping into the tall grass of the wooded clearing. It was a bright, beautiful day, and the sunlight was streaming down over them. Fragrant smells surrounded them—flowers and grass and other natural things. Cole, on the other side of the car, was still breathing deeply, seeming to take it all in.

  It struck her in some strange way that he seemed to be in his element, though she didn’t know why that was. She still didn’t know him that well, nor was there anything about him to indicate that he was the type of person who would enjoy nature. But seeing him in the woods surrounded by the grass and the sunlight sparked a strange feeling of recognition, as if he was a part of it all.

  Shaking her head, she came around the hood. “Okay. So, what is all this?” she said. “Will you finally tell me what’s going on?”

  “I can’t just tell you. I need to show you,” he said. He was furrowing his brow now, and he looked markedly anxious as he held his hand up toward her. “God, I wish it didn’t have to be this way, Kassie, but you wouldn’t believe me otherwise.”

  “What the hell do you mean?” she asked, but he was shaking his head. She was really starting to get freaked out by all his cryptic words now. Should she have trusted this man? She didn’t think he was crazy or violent, but that didn’t mean that she could trust him either.

  “Let’s move a little closer to the trees,” he said.

  Kassie wasn’t going to have any of that. She was done playing by his rules.

  “Let’s stay right here and you get on with whatever this is,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

  Cole looked over at her, and apparently, he saw that he wasn’t going to convince her otherwise. After a long moment, he nodded. Then, turning toward her, he took a long moment to compose himself.

  “Like I said before, Kassie, there are things about me you need to know because they’ll affect Taylor. I asked you not to turn from your daughter once you know these things about her. The blood that runs through my veins runs through hers as well, and someday she’ll start exhibiting certain… traits. Certain urges.”

  Kassie frowned. What the hell was he trying to say? Was he trying to imply that he was crazy? That Taylor was going to be crazy too? But no… He was still speaking.

  “There’s an animal part of me,” he continued. “A beast that lies within me. Let me show you.”

  And then, before Kassie’s eyes, Cole began to transform. It was as if the air around him began to shimmer at first, and then the man himself began to bend and twist in an unnatural way. However, it wasn’t grotesque. It was oddly beautiful the way his body moved as it elongated and dark fur emerged, until suddenly where there had once been a man, there stood a tall brown bear.

  Kassie’s mind was numb with shock. Words tried to form on
her lips, but they failed her with every attempt she made to speak. She took a step back and then another, but the bear simply stood there, staring at her with its dark eyes. Though it was an animal, she could tell that there was something human about it. She could sense the part of the animal that was Cole in the beast that fell on four legs before her.

  “Dear God,” she whispered finally, because there was nothing else that she could say.

  Then, just as quickly, the air shifted and the bear’s form twisted and shifted, and Cole was once again standing in the grass before her, a pained expression on his face.

  “For years, I thought I was the only one—”

  “No,” said Kassie. “This is impossible.”

  “I know it’s strange—I know I’m strange—but it’s what I am, what I’ve always been. I’m not asking you to accept me, but I need you to understand that Taylor…”

  “You are not going to tell me that my daughter is—” Kassie trailed off, feeling her heart start to pound in her chest as she thought of the possibility of her daughter having some strange supernatural powers like the man standing there before her. It was beyond impossible or improbable. It was beyond anything that she could comprehend or even wanted to think about. “I’m leaving,” she said, and she turned to the car.

  “Wait, Kassie,” said Cole, but she was already sliding into the driver’s seat. And from the look in his eyes, it was obvious he could tell she feared him and that he wouldn’t come any closer.

  She started the engine and pulled away, leaving him alone there, unable to even think about what she had just seen.

  This was something out of a storybook or a fairytale. This wasn’t something that could happen in real life. If she believed what had happened, her entire view of the world would have to change, and she wasn’t ready for that. She wasn’t ready to think that one day, her daughter would be a thing like him…

  Don’t abandon her, she heard his voice saying in the back of her head, and she shook the voice out. She wouldn’t. She wouldn’t have to, because Taylor would never, could never, be like that.

  Driving away, she fought to ignore what she had just seen, even though she knew that was impossible.

  Chapter 8

  Kassie unlocked the door and walked inside, her heart still pounding in her chest after what she’d seen. Mrs. Jensen came out of the kitchen and started to say something, but the words were lost on her as she shook her head and collapsed on the sofa, placing her hand on her head.

  “Kassie? What’s wrong?” asked the woman, coming over to her.

  “It’s… it’s nothing,” said Kassie. There was no way she could tell anyone what she’d just experienced—what she’d seen. It was an impossible thing, and she still couldn’t believe it herself. She was trying her best to put it out of her mind and to tell herself that somehow it was just her imagination. But she knew that wasn’t true. She had seen Cole transform right before her eyes from a man into a bear.

  How was that possible? How could he really have done that? How were such things possible in this world?

  Kassie had never believed in magic, not even when she was a little girl. She had never been given to flights of fancy, so to experience that… It was completely earth shattering.

  “Where’s Taylor?” she asked suddenly. She wanted now more than anything to see her little girl.

  “She’s sleeping soundly,” said Mrs. Jensen. “She got tired after playing this afternoon, so she wanted a little nap.”

  “Okay. I think… I think I’m just going to go look in on her. You can go now,” she said.

  Mrs. Jensen nodded. But before she turned to go, she placed her hand on Kassie’s shoulder. “Whatever it is that’s bothering you dear, and I don’t know what it is, just realize that it’s somehow going to turn out all right. I can’t give you any advice if you won’t talk to me, and I know it’s not my place to make you tell me what the problem is, but these things have a way of working themselves out if you just trust in fate. You have a beautiful little girl in there, and I just know that things will be okay.”

  Kassie managed a weak smile. “Thank you,” she said, but at that moment, she couldn’t quite believe what Mrs. Jensen was telling her. She watched as the woman gathered up her things and made her way out the door, and then she walked to the bedroom where Taylor was sleeping.

  The little girl looked so peaceful in her bed, her golden hair splayed out on the pillow around her. Kassie sighed deeply and reached out to touch that hair, watching as her daughter responded to that touch.

  Was it really true that she was like her father? Did she have whatever powers her father held inside him? Would she too be able to transform like he could? The thought was enough to send a chill running through Kassie. She didn’t want her daughter to be different from the people around her. Looking at Cole now, she wondered if that was the reason that he was such a broken man. It wasn’t that difficult to put two and two together and guess that he was damaged, and that it was very possible this was the source of his impairment.

  She didn’t want that for her daughter. He had asked that she not abandon her daughter if she was different, and of course Kassie would never do that, but there were other people in the world who would not be so kind. A shiver ran through her body as she thought about the secret that Taylor would have to live with if this was true—if she really was as different as Cole suspected.

  “My sweet little girl,” she said out loud, closing her eyes. She was so small right now, still so young and innocent. She had no idea how painful the world that she lived in could be. It was hard enough to survive, and being different only made things that much more difficult.

  For now, all Kassie wanted to do was forget what she had learned about Cole—forget the mere possibility of what her daughter might have to live with in the future. How dare he come back into her life and drop this information on her like he had? What right did he have to come back into her life after just one night together?

  Throughout the rest of the evening, she continued to think about what she had seen—that impossible, strange vision at the edge of the woods. But she was also thinking about the other thing that he had said, about the fact that there were other people who knew about her and her daughter. What had he meant by that?

  No matter how angry she was with him at the moment, she knew that she needed to go back to him and ask what he had meant by that. She was going to have to see him again, no matter her feelings about the man. Taylor’s fate was too important to leave up to fate, no matter Mrs. Jensen’s beliefs.

  He had been so persistent about seeing her, she almost expected him to be at the diner when she showed up for her afternoon shift the next day. But he wasn’t there, nor was he there when she showed up the day after that, or for the next several days. When a week had passed, she almost thought that Cole had decided to excuse himself from her life after all. But then at the end of that week, when she ended her shift and started to gather up her things, she saw his familiar form outside the door of the diner and felt a familiar tightening at the center of her chest.

  “God damn it,” she murmured to herself, noting that Hillary was looking her way and then toward the figure at the door, a keen and curious expression in her eyes.

  “Him again?” she asked.

  “Stay out of it,” said Kassie as she stormed toward the exit, preparing herself to deal with Cole, something that she knew for a fact she still wasn’t ready for, the image of his transformation still fresh in her mind.

  Once outside, she took a deep breath as she stepped over to him. To his credit, Cole appeared just as nervous as she was, his eyes fixed on her apprehensively as he stood in place, arms crossed over his chest. He didn’t make a single move, waiting for Kassie to close the distance between them. When she had finally done so, the nerves in her body tingling in anticipation, she bit her lip and tried to figure out what it was that she wanted to say to the man.

  “So…”

  “Kassie.”

&
nbsp; She shook her head, and he stopped talking immediately, averting his gaze. It seemed that he was prepared for this reaction, she noted, and that sparked something inside her—an odd feeling of guilt that she couldn’t quite understand just yet. Sighing, she tilted her head down the street.

  “There’s a little coffee shop down this way. It’s pretty quiet, and there aren’t many people there this time of day. I think we can manage to have a private conversation there. Let’s go talk.”

  Cole nodded, and as she started walking he set off after her. The shop in question was a small place. Kassie liked to go there sometimes with Hillary when she had a little extra time, though to be fair that wasn’t often considering that she had Taylor to take care of. The barista greeted the pair of them as they walked in.

  “Just a mug of coffee for me,” she said.

  “Uh… same,” said Cole. “And just black, thanks.”

  Within just a couple of minutes, they had their mugs, and they found a small table near the back of the room where they could talk without fear of anybody around them overhearing their conversation. It was only then that Kassie finally looked at Cole, that she really tried to see what it was that was in his face at that moment. She saw then that he looked terrified.

  “Cole… What you showed me…”

  “I know,” he said immediately, cutting her off before she could continue. “I know how frightening it must be for you.”

  “It’s not just that,” she said. “It’s just that… It’s completely changed everything I understand about the world. And is it true? That because you’re like this, that Taylor…”

  Cole’s face fell, and he nodded. “Yes, I believe so. I sensed it in her when I saw her for the first time.”

  “But… I just don’t understand. How is something like this possible? When did you… I mean, how?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know much about it myself,” said Cole. “I was abandoned as a child, and raised in an orphanage. I never knew my parents. I don’t know where I came from, and I’ve never known anybody—anything—like myself. I had never met another shifter until…” He trailed off suddenly and shook his head. “No. I won’t go into that just yet. All I mean to say is that even to me, stories about shifters were like fairy tales. Except as a child, I started to feel the animal inside me. And then one night, I went out and I transformed. It was terrifying, and I knew that I could never tell anybody at the orphanage about what I was.”