by Ciara Knight
Mason sighed. “I know. And even if I fail again, I’ll keep trying. I don’t deserve her, but I’ve realized I just can’t live without her.”
Chapter 11
Savannah stood at the tree line, looking down at the water. She’d carried the weight of tragedy with her for so long she wasn’t sure she could let it go. Maybe it was time to escape. With Mason’s financial support and Herbie around to run the business, she could leave. Perhaps she’d meet a man without any baggage to cloud their future. Maybe she’d finally find happiness.
The river raced around the rocks with the sound of powerful energy, , but the rest of the world remained silent. That deep winter silence that enveloped the world during a snowfall, the white flakes blocking all sound from reaching her ears. Like the stillness of the woods during one of her solo hikes. She couldn’t deny how much she’d miss this place. Especially if she moved to Beijing to be with her parents. Her father worked constantly, so her mother would love the company. She’d begged her to go with them when her father took the international job. At the time, she had held onto hope Mason would return, but now it was time to go.
It would be an adventure, at least. The chance at a new start. And while they wouldn’t be the same, she was sure she could find mountains to hike and groves of trees to lose herself in. What she wasn’t sure about was how she’d find a man if she didn’t speak the language, but maybe she didn’t want a man in her life at all. She sighed. What did she want?
The unmistakable sound of shoes sliding over icy wood warned her that Mason was coming across the bridge. Everyone else in her life would know better than to wear dress shoes on a Tennessee mountain in December. Another tap, only a faint sound, when he reached her side of the ravine. She thought about hiding in the trees and remaining silent in the hope he’d go away, but she’d never avoided anything in life, and she wouldn’t start now. “What do you want, Mason?”
The tapping of his shoes halted, followed by a long pause, then more steps that drew closer. “There you are. I’ve been looking for you.” He swatted a tree limb out of his way and joined her where she stood between a rock and a long, hard drop.
She looked down into the ravine and for a split second wished she could jump. Every time Mason opened his mouth, it confused her. No matter how much he led her to believe he wanted her in his life, she knew he’d only turn tail and run at the first sign of trouble.
“I need to talk to you.” Mason rested his foot on top of the rock then propped his elbow on his knee.
She shook her head. “I don’t want to listen to any more insinuations, half-truths, or empty promises. Go back inside. You’re not dressed for this weather.”
He shuffled forward and grabbed her elbows. “No, I’m not, but if this is the only way I can talk to you then I’m willing to die from exposure.” His voice darkened, matching the soft grey clouds overhead.
“Leave me alone. You’re good at that, remember?” Savannah grabbed his upper arms and pushed, but he didn’t budge, didn’t let go. His lip turned a light purple.
“This whole time you’ve been saying that I just ran away, that I abandoned you. But I told you I’d be leaving, and you didn’t stop me. I did what I thought was right to save your relationship with your family. To spare you the uncomfortable comments and stares that you kept getting every time we were together. You said it wasn’t my fault, but that didn’t stop most of the town from considering me a murderer. How long would it have been until you started to resent me for the way they treated you? How long until you started to believe what they said, what your parents said?” His voice cracked, and for the first time, she saw pain in the small creases around his eyes and wilting lips.
“So, what? We couldn’t have dealt with that together? Was I not strong enough? You didn’t have to go. You chose to leave, to let me face their scorn alone. But this time, I’m the one who’ll leave. You can stay and help the GGs. It’s your turn, and you owe them at least that much. I’m going to turn my business over to Herbie, then I’ll go live with my family.”
“You’re running away?”
She turned on him then. “You’re one to judge,” she snapped.
“I’m not judging you.” He tugged her closer and wrapped his arms around her back, clasping his hands behind her to lock her to him. “I’m trying to save you from a mistake you’ll regret. Trust me. I know, because I’ve regretted leaving every day for the last seven years. It wasn’t until I saw you, until I came home, that I finally felt peace again. I don’t want you to suffer by running away. You love it here. You love the GGs. You love Herbie. You love your company.” His eyes flashed and his cheek twitched. “You love me.”
Her breath froze in her lungs despite the heat radiating through her body. His words halted her own with a wall of regrets. But it was too late. Too late to bridge the gap that had grown between them. It was time to move on, to explore other rivers and mountains. She shook her head. “I don’t love you.”
He dropped his arms to his side and stumbled back. “Then I’m a fool. A fool for loving the same girl since the first day of first grade when you smiled at me with your missing tooth and pigtails and told me to move my seat, that you didn’t like boys. I loved you more when you dyed your hair Bozo-orange by accident but still walked to school with your head held high. I loved you even more when you went to the junior prom with my best friend to get back at me for carrying Jenny Applebomb’s books to school when she faked a broken arm.” His hands trembled, his mouth quivered, his teeth chattered, but he took her hand in his and cleared his throat. “Savannah Blake, I have and I always will be madly, deeply, irrevocably in love with you. Nothing will change that.”
She stood there silent, wanting―no, needing to believe him, but just as desperately not wanting to. Her already cracked and gouged heart couldn’t take another hit. It would combust into ten thousand pieces if she allowed herself to care for him again. The only way to protect herself was to stay away from him, far away where he couldn’t hurt her again.
She knew she couldn’t live without him, but at the same time, she couldn’t trust him to stick around this time. It would destroy her to lose him again. With self-preservation in mind, she conjured up all of the hate she’d been holding on to. Hate at the town for turning their backs on one of their own. Hate for her parents who couldn’t see the truth, and when they did, chose to run away as well. Hate that she lost the love of her life and she couldn’t open her heart ever again. Her mouth opened, forming the words she never thought to say. “My miracle is you leaving and never returning.”
He dropped her hand and backed away, his tall frame slumping in defeat. He nodded. “I’ll give them the money for the inn and make sure the work moves along as scheduled.” He took a long breath then said, “I hope you find what you’re looking for, wherever you’re going.” He walked down the narrow path, the same way he’d left her standing in the woods when she was eighteen. It was for the best this time, though. She’d done what she’d promised and got the money for Aunt Birdie. It was good news, a weight off her chest. But why did she feel like a moose had rammed her stomach?
Her knees hit the snow-covered ground, and she fought to breathe through the pain. Gutted with grief, she doubled over with the mind-numbing pain of loss and life-altering miracle of forcing the man she loved to leave her alone forever.
Chapter 12
“Don’t do it. Don’t run away again.” Aunt Birdie removed his clothes from his duffle as soon as he dropped them in and tucked them back into a dresser drawer.
“I’m not running away. I need to get back. Besides, all I’m doing by being here is upsetting Savannah. Whether she chooses to believe it or not, I really do want her happiness.”
“Tell her how you feel,” she pleaded.
He collapsed on the bed and rubbed his temple. “I already did, Aunt Birdie. I ripped my heart out and handed it to her, and she crushed it under her work boot.” He wouldn’t be able to forget her words for as long as he lived.
Aunt Birdie lowered to the bed beside him. “No, she loves you. I know she does. Oh honey, I’m so sorry. We really thought this would work.”
Mason shoved from the bed. “You did know that the GGs told me you were sick and living in an old folks’ home?”
“No. No. I’m talking about yesterday when your car rolled down into the ditch, and we shooed all the workers and Herbie out. I wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t believe we’d be coming to a wedding when we returned.”
“Wedding? More like an execution. My heart’s been her prisoner for years, and she finally served me my sentence.” He shook his head. “And I actually thought a future together would be possible, but it isn’t. I don’t live in your world, Aunt Birdie. My life isn’t sprinkled in pixie dust or guarded by unicorns.”
Aunt Birdie’s eyes swamped with sorrow, her pupils dilating to full drama level, and Mason’s destroyed heart crumbled even more.
He pulled her into a hug. “You’ve been the only grounded one in my life. The only one I could ever count on after my dad left me. Yet, here I am judging you for your idiosyncrasies, the things I love the most about you. It’s just that I wish I could be more like you. To experience a bit of your magic. To throw caution to the snow and ignore the heavy words she used to kill my heart, but I can’t.”
“That advertising degree certainly groomed your vocabulary. And you say Sunny is dramatic.” She pulled back, her oversized black pupils shrunken to baby opals and her lips curved into a mischievous, toddler smile. “You can still win her back. Tell her the ring was for her. That you’d already decided to come back weeks ago and win her heart. That you have never stopped loving her, and that you never will.”
He rubbed the back of his neck, but the ache remained. “I already tried. I told her about the ring last night. I’ve told her I’ve never stopped loving her and she told me to never return. Besides, I saw the look in her eyes. It’s the same look I saw when she’d given up on Sunny teaching her to crochet. The same look she had the day she decided being a cheerleader meant you had to fake being cheerful. It’s her give-up face. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen her, and something changed, but that look was undeniable. She’s already given up on us.” He kissed Aunt Birdie on her head, finished packing his duffle, then headed for the door. “I’d love for you to come visit me in Chicago, and if you ever need anything, you know where to find me. I’ll send the money so you can finish this place. I agree, it’s gonna be great. I’d expect no less from the GGs.” His voice cracked, and he swallowed down the lump in his throat. “I love you, Aunt Birdie. And if you love me, you’ll let me go.”
She only nodded, tears forming black and tan rivers down her cheeks and mixing with peach on her lips. “Herbie will take you to the airport. Goodbye, my boy.”
He headed out the door, out of the inn, and out of Savannah Blake’s life.
Chapter 13
Savannah slung her boots off in the mud room and stomped to the center of the atrium. Spinning under the chandelier, she looked in all directions. “It’s time to fix my truck. The GGs failed.” She fought for oxygen, fought to breathe through the discomfort of her racing memories.
Cookie was the first to emerge, wielding a wooden spoon covered in cookie dough and an apron that read GG. “What are you caterwauling about in here?”
“My truck. Fix it. I’m leaving. I did what you all wanted. He’s giving you the money. Now, I can leave. I’m going to live with my parents for a while.” She continued to stomp down her emotions until they obeyed. Until she felt nothing.
“Is that what you think we wanted?” Sunny countered from the hallway.
“You don’t know us at all then.” Birdie made her way down the stairs, her makeup smeared, her spirit visibly clouded.
“Isn’t it? You trapped us here. I mean, where are the lines you three won’t cross? I’ve seen you manipulate people, cheat, lie, and break things to get what you want. Mason’s probably calling a tow truck to pull his car out, and I’ll have to call a repairman unless you’ve taken our cell phones now, too. Now, tell me what you did to my truck.” Her voice rose and crackled, the emotions pounding and scratching at their locked door for escape.
Cookie closed in, with the other two following suit until she stood in the center of their web. “Calm yourself and watch your tongue, young lady.”
“Just fix my truck. I need to leave.”
Sunny fluttered a hand in front of her face. “We didn’t break your truck. Nothin’s wrong with it.”
Savannah narrowed her gaze and analyzed each of them, but they were all stone-faced. “What?”
“Do you really think we’d leave you both with no heat and no way to get outta here during this cold front? You wanted to believe that truck don’t work,” Cookie said.
Savannah spun around, eyeing each of them. “No. I thought—”
Birdie touched her shoulder, stopping her before she made herself dizzy. “Listen to me, child. I’ve known you all your life, and I’m telling you that if you don’t open your eyes and let down that shield for once, you’ll ruin the rest of your life.”
“No. I’m trying to make my life better. To protect―”
Sunny shook her head and placed her palm between her shoulder blades. “No, hon. You’re running. You’re so scared to love again that you’re pushing the only man you’ve ever loved away.”
Cookie lowered her wooden spoon and placed her other hand on Savannah’s arm. “You’ve been fighting your feelings for so long you don’t know how to let them out, to let them breathe.”
Birdie squeezed, as if to pinch her awake. “My nephew delivered his heart to you, despite the fact he knew you’d reject him. He was going to stay and fight, no matter what happened. He wasn’t going to leave this time. I think he probably would’ve locked you up to keep you here if he had to.”
Anger gurgled to the surface. “Yeah? Well, where is he now then?” She shrugged them off, their touch like chisels scraping her resolve and hatred away.
“He left. Herbie drove him to the airport,” Birdie said
Why was she not surprised? “Doesn’t sound like much of a fight,” she sneered. “It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s for the best. I don’t need him. I don’t need my parents. I don’t need my sister. I don’t need anyone.”
“Good, because I think he’s gone for good this time after what you did.” Sunny tapped her golden boots that looked like they’d lost a fight with a Bedazzler.
“What I did?” Savannah shrieked. Her mouth felt sucked free of moisture, her lungs tight with the lack of air.
Birdie leaned against the reception desk, her gaze fixed to the chipped tile at her feet. “You gave him the look.”
“What look?” Savannah waited, but no response. She threw her hands into the air. Enough was enough. She’d escape the insanity and find a real life in Beijing, or anywhere so long as it was away from Mason Harrington.
Cookie tsked. “The give-up look.”
Savannah snickered, a menacing, humorless sounding noise. “Give-up look?”
Birdie approached once again like a timid butterfly. “Yes, my nephew―the man that knows you better than even we do―saw the look. The same look you’ve had on your face every time you’ve given up on something. Once you give that look, there’s no changin’ your mind. That’s why he left. He knew it was truly over for you. He loves you enough to letcha go.” Fresh tears bloomed in her eyes.
Savannah shook her head. “I never looked at him that way…” Her blood ran cold. Her heart skidded and murmured, unable to maintain a constant beat. “I…he must’ve thought… Maybe I had given up, but only on waiting around for life to get better. I didn’t want to spend my life waiting for things to happen. I wanted to take charge for a change. I didn’t mean—”
Sunny clapped her hands together, sending a resounding smack through the atrium. “Then go after him. Tell him he got the wrong impression.”
Her thoughts accelerated into a big bang, expl
oding with a thousand shiny ideas. Then darkness came in the form of reason. “No. It’s over, done.”
Birdie grabbed Savannah’s hands and held them tight. “Why? Why can’t you allow yourself to love him again? You’re torturing yourself and a good man by refusing to be honest. You won’t find any better than Mason.”
“I know.” The words tumbled from her mouth.
“Then why won’t you open your heart to him? You can’t live your life worryin’ that it won’t work out. Can’t you get over your fear that he won’t stay?” Sunny asked in a gingerly tone.
“I’m not scared. It’s just, everyone leaves me. Everyone! My sister, my parents, Mason. They all left. I drive everyone away.” Hot tears burned the corners of her eyes. She swiped the moisture away with her scratchy flannel sleeve before they could escape and betray her.
“Oh honey, it’s not you. It was a series of tragic circumstances.” Birdie squeezed her hands. “A chain of events. When your sister died, it set things in motion that none of us could stop. The town turned against Mason then they turned against your family, only to realize they’d been fools. Your parents couldn’t stay in the town where their daughter died. They needed to handle their grief in their own way. They only left once they were sure you could take care of yourself. And Mason didn’t leave because he couldn’t face what happened. He left because he thought you hated him. Even if you didn’t feel that way then, he was convinced you would someday. He left and tried to make a life, but he couldn’t without you. So, he came back for you. Put his heart out there despite his fear that you might still despise him, that you’d given up on him.”
“Never. I never hated him.” Her hands shook, tears dripped down her face to her chin and splattered to the floor. “But it doesn’t matter. He only put his heart out there because things didn’t work out with his girlfriend. He was going to give her your ring.”