They ate every last slice of pizza and then Juliet leapt to her feet. “Lip sync time!”
The girls raced each other upstairs and dug in their bags for wigs and crazy striped and polka-dotted clothes. Apparently their lip sync for school had a mismatch theme. They did the entire song without cracking a smile. I tried not to feel left out, but I couldn’t get past the empty feeling that kept growing inside me. After the song was over, they turned up the music, so we could all dance and sing. I danced too, trying to act like nothing was wrong. Finally, Dad came up and begged us to stop making it sound like elephants were dancing on the roof. Maybe at someone else’s house we would have argued, but everyone knew Mom needed her sleep. I had never been so grateful for the dark, as we turned out the lights and climbed into our sleeping bags. No more pretending. Alice and Pippa whispered scary stories until Juliet started to snore.
Alice giggled. “Me too. I’m going to sleep.”
After we all said goodnight, I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. Pippa would tell me tomorrow, when the girls went home. She wouldn’t leave me out for long. But what secret could be so bad that they had to hide it from me? It was a long time before I fell asleep.
The next morning, none of us woke up until Dad called, “Breakfast, girls!”
The air was sweet with the smell of pancakes and maple syrup. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes. Everyone else looked just as groggy as I felt as we crawled out of our sleeping bags and headed downstairs. I hadn’t even thought of checking the clock, but it must have been around three before Alice and Pippa stopped telling stories. Even Higgins took the stairs slow.
Dad dished up plates of pancakes and then took coffee down the hall to Mom.
“So …” Juliet looked around at all of us as the kitchen door swung closed behind Dad. “Anyone have plans this week?”
“Sleeping in,” Alice said.
“We should at least go to a movie,” Bri said. “And design camp is next week.”
Camp again. I put my fork down, and pretended not to see Pippa’s worried glance.
Pippa cleared her throat “Yeah. Maybe later this week we should get together and talk camps and do something fun.”
Alice pushed a piece of pancake around her plate. “We don’t have to all do camp together, if you don’t want to.”
“No one said that, Alice,” Juliet said. “Anyway, I think design camp sounds fun. And it’s only a week, so we’d still have time to do cooking camp later.”
The doorbell rang, launching Higgins into a barking frenzy. I followed him down the hall and answered the front door.
Bri’s mom stood smiling on the porch. “Still in pj’s, I see.”
“We’re finishing up breakfast.” I held Higgy back so he wouldn’t jump up on her. “Do you want some pancakes?”
“The little one is sleeping in the car, so I should probably wait out here. Will you send Juliet, Alice, and Bri out as soon as you can?”
Pippa’s mom was driving Andrea to the airport this morning, so Pippa was going to stay over a little longer. Fortunately, because I needed some answers. For a few minutes the girls scurried around, packing up and carrying everything out to the SUV. Pips and I waved them off, all-smiles,
but as I closed the front door, the silence made my stomach tangle into knots.
“Sadie …” Pips began.
I glanced at my parents’ closed door. “Let’s talk upstairs.”
On the way up, I realized I was once again on the verge of tears. Not sad tears, but angry ones. How could my friends leave me out like this? I leaned against the bookshelf and Pips sat on the bed. Higgins jumped up and put his head in her lap, oblivious to the tension between us.
“Look, Sadie, it’s no big deal,” Pippa began.
I had so many questions I didn’t know what to ask first.
“Alice, Bri, Juliet, and I started this secret club,” Pippa said. “You’ll be part of it, of course, if you want to be. We swore we wouldn’t tell anyone, not anyone, but I never meant you.”
A secret club? What were we, in third grade?
“What’s the big secret, Pips?”
“I should ask the girls, I guess, before saying anything. But you won’t tell anyone.” She grabbed a pillow and hugged it tight to her chest. “You know how kids from three elementary schools come to our middle school, right? And some of the new girls started pushing kids around, picking on them, lying about them, that kind of thing.”
“Spit it out, Pips.”
“None of the teachers do anything about the bullying, not really. Maybe they don’t see it, or maybe they’re too busy, or who knows. Anyway, this girl, Jaylia—who was jealous because she hardly plays in soccer games and Alice is, well, you know … good—she lied to Alice’s homeroom teacher and said Alice cheated on a test.”
“Alice wouldn’t cheat.”
“No. Jaylia planted a handwritten test key in Alice’s backpack, so Alice got suspended for three days. She had to sit out of a whole week of soccer practices and the game that weekend.”
She might as well have told me they’d gone to the moon and back and hadn’t bothered to mention it. “Alice got suspended and no one told me?”
Pippa squished up the pillow even tighter. “Everything happened so fast. At first we didn’t know what to do. I thought Alice and I could just cold-shoulder Jaylia in games, you know, never pass her the ball. But Bri said Jaylia wouldn’t know why we were treating her that way. I mean she might guess, but it might not be enough to stop her from lying about someone else, or even about Alice again.”
Pips tossed the pillow aside and started pacing around the room. Higgins came over to nuzzle my hand. I scratched his ears, waiting for the rest of Pippa’s story.
“And then at the mall, in the candy store, we saw Jaylia slip a bag of candy into her pocket. Her back was to us. We followed her out of the store, and Juliet had her cell phone—it does video recordings. Anyway, we forced Jaylia to admit she’d stolen the candy on video. She didn’t want us to call the security guard over right then, obviously. So, she did what we asked. And we told her if she ever lied about anyone else, we’d show the video.”
I frowned. “Isn’t that like blackmail?”
Anger flashed in Pippa’s eyes and her voice was hard when she said, “It worked, Sadie. And Jaylia hasn’t done anything mean since.”
“So that’s the secret? That you’re blackmailing this girl?”
Pippa glared at me. “Since we managed to stop Jaylia from bullying people, we realized we could do it again, you know, to stop other bullies. Alice, Bri, Juliet, and I swore we’d never tell anyone, that it would be super top secret.”
I sighed and sat on the window seat. “So, who’s Margo?”
“You know how Juliet is sensitive about her weight. Margo’s been teasing her all year, making mean comments the teachers never seem to hear. And Margo edged Bri out of the lead part in the spring play. And I told you she beat Alice by three votes to be school secretary. But all the teachers think Margo’s perfect, of course.”
“So Margo’s your new target?”
Either Pippa didn’t hear the sharp tone in my voice or she chose to ignore it.
“Sadie, you have to help us with this.” She grabbed my hand, giving me one of her believe-me-or-else looks. “You’ll see how great it feels. To stop someone from picking on other people—really stop them. It’s amazing.”
“But …” I pulled my hand away. “Aren’t you just treating them the way they’re treating other people?”
She gave me an incredulous look. “Sadie, we’re not lying about them.”
“No, but … You can’t just do whatever you want as long as it ends up okay, Pips.”
“We’re not just doing whatever we want, Sadie.” Pippa had raised her voice, and we both glanced toward the stairs.
Neither of us wanted my parents to hear this conversation.
Pips shook her head. “You don’t understand.”
I di
dn’t want to fight with Pippa. And right now, I wasn’t exactly sure why I was so uncomfortable. Maybe, hopefully, because their secret club was all-wrong, but what if I was just angry about being left out?
“Sadie, we’re trying to do a good thing. I swear.” Pips walked over to my paintings again, her back to me. “It’s like what you said about these paintings—how you can feel God with you?”
She turned to look at me, her expression totally sincere. “It’s like that. When we’re standing up to someone, it feels so right, Sades. I promise. I know it sounds a little …”
When her voice trailed off, I realized I must have been giving her a totally disbelieving look. I couldn’t help it. She didn’t really think God wanted her to gang up on people, did she? I knew I should say something, tell her how wrong I thought this was, but the words stuck in my throat. What if I said something and made her truly angry? Already my friends felt so far away. Pippa might still be Pippa in lots of ways, but she was totally different in others.
“Girls?” Mom’s voice called up the stairs. “Pippa’s mom is here.”
Neither of us said anything as Pippa picked up her bag and went to the stairs.
“See you tomorrow, Sades,” she finally said.
“Okay. Yeah,” I answered, wishing my voice didn’t sound so small and sad.
“Okay,” she said and walked slowly down the steps.
I should have followed, should have stood on the porch to wave goodbye. But I just couldn’t. Instead, I threw myself on the bed and squeezed my eyes shut. What do I do?
Chapter 5
The City
As we walked out of the train station toward the Embarcadero, I remembered why I loved coming to San Francisco. Palm trees lined the waterfront street, and seagulls swooped between skyscrapers. The air smelled of ocean and roasting coffee and possibilities. Pips had seemed almost normal when we all met at the train this morning, and we hadn’t talked about the secret club at all on the ride up. For now, I hoped it could stay that way. I didn’t like the idea of my friends ganging up on someone, even if that person was a bully. And I couldn’t imagine taking part in it. But if I didn’t join in, I’d be even more on the outside.
As we crossed the street, Alexis said, “Let’s hail a taxi and ride down to the pier, so we don’t waste all our energy walking there.”
Alexis was right, of course. The pier was about two miles down and if Mom walked there, she’d probably be finished for the day. Even I might want to put my feet up if I walked that whole way. But I didn’t feel like getting inside a taxi right now either. I wanted to see the city. Behind us a bike bell rang.
“Need a lift, ladies?”
We turned to see a guy on a four-seater bike-cart.
“You can manage us all?” Mom asked.
“No sweat,” the guy said. “If you’re headed down to the pier, I’ll give you my famous tour, much better than a taxi ride.”
We piled in and he drove us three or four blocks before stopping. “The Ferry Building,” he said. “Head inside and grab the treat of your choice. I’ll wait for you here.”
The stalls were stuffed with loaves of sourdough bread and cheese and there were even trays of ice with fresh crabs. We sampled olive oil and ripe berries. In the end, Pips and I decided to share a basket of strawberries. Mom bought artichokes, tomatoes, cheese, and bread to take home for dinner, and Alexis found snap peas, organic olive oil, and balsamic vinegar. I searched for interesting doors, but nothing caught my eye. We carried our treasures back to the cart and surprised our driver with a plate of samples and a fresh baked snicker doodle.
“Off we go to the pier!” He pushed off and wove through the crowds of people.
As we passed a man in a tuxedo jacket outside a restaurant, he shouted, “Get your clam chowder here!”
We all jumped, especially Mom. She glanced back over her shoulder, like she expected the man to suddenly transform into Karl.
“It’s okay, Mom,” I said.
Our driver—we’d now learned his name was Jack—pointed out Levi’s Plaza Park, where there was a museum all about blue jeans and this huge fountain where water spilled over large granite blocks. Kids splashed and played.
It was only a few more blocks to Pier 39, and we could hear the seals barking.
When we reached the main turn around, Jack pulled over and let us off. “Don’t forget to have some clam chowder. And of course, don’t miss Ghirardelli! I’ll be back in three hours in case you want a return ride.”
Alexis gave him a big tip, and we headed down to the water. Like usual, Pips and I ran ahead of our moms, all the way out to the furthest point on the dock that we could go. Seals lounged on the rocks, filling the air with their laughlike barks and fishy smell.
Pips laughed and plugged her nose. “Ick.”
I snorted and then regretted it, because now I could even taste the old-fish stink. “I always forget how bad they reek.”
“Race you back?” Pips said.
It almost felt like yesterday hadn’t existed. “Sure!”
We dodged people on the sidewalk and just as we plowed into Mom and Alexis, a man poked his head out of two bushes that he was holding and growled.
Pips and I screamed and nearly leapt out of our skin. People all around us laughed, as though they’d been watching, expecting him to scare someone. The guy sat with his back against a trashcan and wore a green coat and hat and face paint. He pulled the bushes back together, and I took a few casual steps away, like he hadn’t actually scared me. Mom had gone totally pale.
“Mom, it’s okay.” I helped her to a bench. “He’s that street performer that scares people. We’ve seen him before. Remember?”
But tension rippled across her shoulders and she held her purse so tightly her knuckles were white.
Alexis shrugged at the still-gathered crowd and gave a forced laugh. “Picked on the wrong people, I guess.”
Mom shivered and looked over her shoulder.
“Are you cold, Cindy?” Alexis asked.
“Maybe I should buy a sweatshirt,” Mom said, but I got the feeling she wasn’t really cold. “And then let’s find clam chowder. You girls must be hungry.”
We crowded into a tourist shop filled with I Heart SF gear, and Mom found a hooded sweatshirt with the Golden Gate bridge embroidered on the back. Pips and I riffled through keychains and postcards, but in the end, we didn’t buy anything. Across the street, we spotted an outdoor food court. Mom and I circled until we found an empty table, and Alexis and Pips joined the clam chowder line.
Smells of cream and garlic and baking bread filled the air. My stomach growled. Mom’s glance flitted from face to face as we sat down in the metal chairs.
“Mom, do you really think Karl would follow us or find us out here? Why would he?”
She set purse on her lap and massaged her hands, trying, I know, to relax. “You’re right, Sadie. He’s just unpredictable. Dad thinks Karl will keep pushing until he gets his way.”
“But how will following us around help him?” I asked.
“It’s not logical. That’s the thing. When people aren’t logical, that’s when they’re truly scary.” Mom sighed. “Sorry, Sadie. I didn’t mean to say that. I don’t want you to worry.”
Just then, Pips and Alexis walked over to the table, each balancing two trays in their arms.
“Lunch is served!” Pips set a bread bowl filled with clam chowder in front of me.
I scooped up a spoonful, and blew on it until it was cool enough to sip. The chowder was warm and creamy, and with each bite, I felt a little warmer, even though the wind continued to bite at my cheeks and fingers. Only in San Francisco could it be so cold in the middle of June. As I ate, I scanned the plaza for doors. I still hadn’t found one I wanted to draw.
“So …” Pippa said after a while, when we’d all eaten most of the actual chowder and had started tearing off pieces of the bread bowls. “Have you decided about design camp, Sadie?”
Before I
could answer, Mom asked, “What is this camp?”
I’d have to sell this well. “Bri’s been taking design classes here in San Francisco, and next week she’s competing for an internship with a real designer. She asked us to be her team.”
“Can we go, Mom?” Pippa asked.
Alexis and Mom had one of those silent conversations that usually meant no.
“I don’t think I want you in the city on your own,” Mom finally said. “Isn’t there something closer to home you could do?”
“You were talking about being a junior counselor at Explorer’s Camp, Pippa.” Alexis backed up Mom immediately. “How about that?”
Pippa eyed me uncertainly. “I’m not sure Sadie wants to work with little kids.”
“Didn’t Jess say she wanted someone to teach art?” Alexis asked. “That’s right up Sadie’s alley.”
Had she and Mom planned this ahead of time?
“I want to go to design camp,” I said. “The girls wanted to stick together this summer.”
Mom continued as though I hadn’t spoken. “I do like the idea of camp at church, Alexis. Teaching art, Sadie? So perfect for you.”
I felt like tossing my empty tray across the room. “Isn’t anyone listening to me?”
Mom closed her eyes and rubbed her temples, but I wasn’t about to back down.
Finally, she sighed. “Sadie, this isn’t Owl Creek. I know we allowed you to roam around with your friends there, but here you can’t just be unsupervised. Particularly with Karl …”
I knew I should stop, but arguments kept tumbling out of me. “It’s not like we’d be on our own at camp. They’d have counselors or teachers or something.”
Mom’s eyes started to get that hard look that meant I was about to push too far. In a second or two, she’d probably lay down some ridiculous law, like I couldn’t go to any camp at all, for the entire summer. I looked to Pippa for help.
“Um, I guess we could do Explorer’s camp for a week or two,” Pips said. “And then if Juliet’s cooking camp is closer to home, maybe we can go to that all together?”
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