“Who’re they?” asked a boy whose cheeks were still streaked with chalk from making self-portraits.
“These are our art teachers,” Jess said. “Miss Sadie and Miss Pippa.”
“But I’m more of a helper than a teacher,” Pips chimed in.
Right. Like I was the teacher of the two of us.
“Today you’re going to make a drawing that tells us a little about you,” Pips used the smart board pens to draw a simple example. She started with a curved v to represent a bird. “If I could be any kind of animal, I’d be a bird. I like to see everything and know everything that is going on, so I know I’d love to fly. If my bird could live anywhere, she would live at the beach.” Pips added a scalloped wave to the bottom of the picture, and then handed me the pen. “My friends would all be good at different things. Sadie, can you draw a crab and an otter?”
Right. Put me on the spot for the hard part. I drew a rough outline of an otter on its back, and added a rock for the crab to lounge on.
Pips went on. “The otter would make me laugh, and the crab would help us gather food with his pinchers.”
Kids hands shot up all across the room.
“I’d be a giraffe because I want to be taller than everyone else. But I’d have a mouse friend who sat on my head, so she’d really be the tallest of all. I’d help her.”
“I’d be a dog and I’d be good at all kinds of tricks. And I’d work at a library so I could go fetch all the books that people wanted.”
“I’d be a kangaroo who hopped higher than anyone on the trampoline. And I’d join the circus.”
How did they think of these things? I took out paper and pencils. No need for me to show more examples. There were ready to go.
“But I don’t know how to draw an elephant,” a little girl with two bright red pigtails said.
To tell the truth, I’d have a hard time drawing an elephant off the top of my head. “Um …” And then I remembered the shelves of picture books Jess had shown us in her office.
“Jess, could we borrow some of your picture books?”
“Sure. I’ll go get some.” She hurried out, leaving us alone with the kids.
It was fine. We’d be fine. Pips gave me an encouraging look, and I tried to smile back.
I cleared the smart board page. “You can look in the books for examples of the animals you want to draw. Then, look for the main shapes. For instance, an elephant needs a big round body …” I drew an oval, and then added to my picture as I explained. “You’d need four rectangle legs, and a roundish head, and a rope-like tail.”
“What about the ears?” As soon as I saw his cape, I knew he must be Fritz.
I held up my pen, and then paused. I didn’t want to admit I had no idea how to draw the ears, but I probably couldn’t stall until Jess returned with the books.
“You know what,” I said finally. “I can’t picture the ears. That’s why the books are so helpful. When Jess gets back, I’ll find an elephant picture and add ears.”
One of the girls smiled shyly at me. I think she was Isabel, the girl Jess said never spoke. Maybe admitting I didn’t know everything wasn’t the worst thing in the world.
Pips and I passed out paper and distributed cups of colored pencils, and just as all the kids were settled, Jess came back with books.
“Miss Sadie,” the little girl with pigtails called. “Help me find a picture of an elephant.”
“I need an alligator!” the boy with the chalky cheeks shouted.
Pips and I hurried around the room helping the kids find books and draw their animals.
“Miss Sadie.” Charlotte waved me over to the bookshelf. “I can’t find a book with tulips.”
We flipped through book after book, and I found roses, violets, and daisies. Charlotte found lupines and lilies.
“Cici likes tulips,” Charlotte insisted, her eyes bright. “And anyway, the flowers under her window are tulips, so that’s what I’m going to draw.”
She took my hand and led me back to her table. When she sat down, she took a scrap piece of paper and started sketching. After her first and second try, she tilted her head to look at her flowers.
“They should look softer,” she finally said.
Smart girl. Her tulips were roughly the right shape, but she had trouble making the curves smooth.
“Maybe if you held your pencil a little more loosely,” I suggested.
She tried again, and beamed up at me. “Yes!”
I’d worn that look before, many times, after Vivian had taught me some trick or other—pure happiness. I grinned and slid the fresh sheet of paper in front of her.
“I can’t wait to see your field of tulips.”
Three other kids were calling for me, so I hurried away to help. The class kept us so busy that I still hadn’t drawn my elephant ears by the time the kids started finishing and waving their papers in the air, wanting Pips and me to come see.
Jess called out again, “Beetle!”
“Face,” they all answered, made silly faces, and went dead silent again.
“Just nine more,” Jess said. “Getting close now. When you’re done with your drawings, bring them up to the carpet area. We’ll share them all together.”
It took about four minutes for the kids to settle in at the carpet area and put their papers on the floor in front of them. Most of their drawings had odd shapes and lumps, but I was astonished by their ideas. Charlotte had drawn a butterfly in her field of tulips, and said if she were a butterfly, she could sit outside her sister’s hospital window. Jake, a boy who barely spoke through the entire lesson, said he’d be a lion so he could hang out with any animal in the forest. Isabel wouldn’t share, but she had drawn herself as an alligator. I’d have to ask her about that sometime. Fritz refused to be an animal, and instead drew himself with a cape. He also insisted that I draw my elephant ears before they left for the day. I did, and then Jess lined the class up for their next activity.
“This will be so good for them,” Jess said, as the kids followed another teacher out of the room.
“I wasn’t sure they’d even understand the assignment,” I said. “But they’re amazing.”
“People think six and seven year olds aren’t deep thinkers, but that’s because they don’t take the time to really listen to kids.” Jess said. “You girls did an excellent job today.”
“Can we go wait in the parking lot for Grant?” I asked.
Jess rubbed her nose, looking uncomfortable. “I wish I could say yes, but I promised your mom I’d keep you inside until Grant came in for you.”
I made a face. “He’ll scare all the little kids.”
“It will be okay,” Pips said quickly. “We can just clean up in here and then prep for our next lesson while we wait.”
Jess picked up her keys. “Okay. Thanks for everything, girls. I really am impressed.”
As she left, I slumped into a chair.
“What’s wrong, Sades? Didn’t you think that went well?” Pips asked.
I didn’t know where to start. “I don’t want you missing out on everything because of me.”
“Sadie, I’m the one who suggested coming to this camp. I want to be here. You’re the one who wasn’t sure about all the little kids, remember?”
What I really needed to talk about was Karl. But when I
opened my mouth to tell her, I stopped. Ruth and Andrew were already worried, and it wasn’t really fair to make Pips worry too. I needed to ‘fess up to Dad. No more stalling or putting it off. And I’d tell him about Charlotte, too.
“Have you heard from the girls?” I asked. “About Margo?”
“Bri called me last night and said she didn’t have a plan yet. Margo hasn’t cheated yet, or anything.” Pips almost sounded disappointed.
“But that would be good, wouldn’t it?” I asked. “If she didn’t cheat, and Bri can win fair and square?”
“Yeah, I guess so,” Pips didn’t sound very sure. “Anyway, we’re all getti
ng together at Juliet’s house tomorrow night to talk about it. You’ll come, right?”
“Yeah, okay.” Now I was the one who didn’t sound sure. Maybe Margo would surprise them all, and the whole thing would just go away, and I would have one less problem to deal with. I could hope, at least.
“So what will we do tomorrow?” I asked.
Pips sat down with me. “I like Jess’ idea about picture books.”
“Oooh, yeah, me too.” Now that I’d seen the kids in action, I could hardly wait to see what kinds of stories they’d write.
We started sketching out plans while we waited for Grant. After about fifteen minutes, he opened the classroom door, his face even blanker than usual.
“Let’s go, girls.”
“Is something wrong?” I asked.
“A film crew showed up outside, but they’re distracted right now, so we need to go now.”
I didn’t like the sound of this. I put my notebook in my bag, and hurried down the hall behind Grant. “What, like a news reporter?”
“I think she’s filming a documentary.” Grant didn’t offer any more information.
When we opened the church’s front doors, a burst of noise met us. Three cameramen stood with bright lights aimed at a rumpled looking guy who had wrinkled clothes, mussed hair, and dark circles under his eyes, as though he hadn’t slept for days. Jess stood behind him at the doors, her arm draped protectively across Charlotte’s shoulders. A woman in tall heels held a microphone toward the guy she’d apparently trapped on the stairs.
“Do you have a statement, Mr. Walker?”
The man looked from one microphone to the other, and then back at Charlotte, who was wide-eyed, looking scared.
“I’ll be happy to give you a statement in your studio, tomorrow. Right now, I need to take my daughter home.” Mr. Walker, who must be Tyler, handed one of them his card, and then stepped away, scooping Charlotte up into his arms.
She buried her face in his neck as he brushed past the camera crews.
“Keep walking.” Grant slipped behind Pips and me and didn’t stop until we had climbed safely into the Hummer and closed the doors. He didn’t turn the engine on right away. Instead, he watched the camera crew load up into their trucks, watching the parking lot.
“Who are you looking for?” I asked.
Grant ignored my question. “Did you know Tyler’s daughter was in camp?”
Pippa and I exchanged a look.
“Yes.” My voice sounded small.
Grant studied my face, his own expression impossible to read. “I promised to protect you, Sadie. I can’t do that if you lie to me.”
“She didn’t lie,” Pippa protested. “It was just—”
Grant’s voice cut through Pippa’s. “Do you understand me, Sadie?”
Pippa went still by my side while I picked miserably at my fingernails.
“Yes,” I finally said.
“I’ll fix this, then,” Grant said.
“Actually, I need to talk to Dad,” I said. “I’ll tell you both everything tonight.”
Grant eyed me in the mirror, but didn’t press me to say more. In fact, no one said anything for the rest of the ride home.
Chapter 12
Secrets
My hand ached. I’d been drawing for hours. First, I’d drawn every single kind of door I could think of: a barn door, an old-fashioned ornate door, a modern steel door, a sliding glass door, a red door, a church door, a hospital door, a clubhouse door, a train door, a car door, a submarine door, a rickety old wooden door. When I’d started on an elevator door, I realized maybe this wasn’t the best way to distract myself. So, I moved on to other kinds of escapes. Windows, hatches, trap-doors, secret panel doors. An escape. That was what I needed, and yet, I knew there was no way out. I’d have to tell the truth.
I turned to a fresh page and before I’d really thought it through, I realized I was drawing a close up of Karl’s face, his eyes shadowy and deep. Maybe because I’d been thinking about doors all afternoon, I shaded the silhouette of a door into each of his eyes. I leaned back to look, and remembered someone, somewhere, saying something about eyes being windows to the soul. Well, maybe they could be a doorway, too. A way in or out. As far as I could tell, Karl needed out, out of whatever was inside him, torturing him.
I heard Dad pull into the driveway. Now or never. I walked downstairs and met him at the door. Higgins jumped up and tried to lick Dad’s face, but I grabbed his collar.
“Down, Higgins,” Dad said.
“Dad, I need to talk to you,” I said, sick with fear.
Dad set down his briefcase. “I heard about the documentary crew. Tyler called me at the office. Imagine my surprise when I heard Charlotte’s attending your camp.”
“Dad, please just come in and sit down.”
Grant and Mom were both on the couch already — they’d been watching the news. I switched off the television and faced them. Dad sat in his armchair.
I rubbed my sweaty palms on my jeans. Now that we were all here, I wasn’t sure I could do this. My tongue felt too big for my mouth, and I had no idea where to start. The clock ticked. I hadn’t realized how loud it was.
When I finally couldn’t stand the silence anymore, I said, “I have to tell you something, but I need you to listen to everything before you say anything. Okay? Promise.”
Dad made an impatient gesture, and pushed Higgins away. It really didn’t help that Dad had already heard about the film crew. But I could have told him sooner. This all could have been so much easier.
I pressed on, clenching and unclenching my fists. “You know the day I came to your office and went to get cupcakes?”
Dad nodded, and I realized I didn’t actually want to ask him questions. I wanted to just get this all out as quickly as I could.
“Well, that day, I got into the elevator to come back to your office, and Karl got in with me.”
I ignored Mom’s sharp intake of breath. “He told me about his sister, and asked me to convince you to take his side on things, and then he left the elevator. He didn’t do anything bad …”
When I looked around at all of their shocked expressions, I knew I still wasn’t telling the entire truth. “But I was scared. Really scared. And I knew I should come right down and tell you. But you’d already given me all these rules, and I felt all cooped up and I didn’t want you to worry, and I was pretty sure Karl would leave me alone after that.”
No one said anything, and there was still more to tell. “I did know about Charlotte attending camp. Jess showed us some of the campers, and I knew. And today, when I saw her looking scared, watching her dad … I don’t know if it was my fault that those people showed up today. Maybe it was just a coincidence. But I didn’t mean to do anything to hurt Charlotte, Dad, I really didn’t. And I know I’m probably in tons of trouble, and everything, for keeping secrets, but please don’t make me stop going to camp. Please? I didn’t think I even wanted to be there, but then today I met all the kids and I just … I want to be Charlotte’s friend.”
Dad took in a deep breath and blew it out. Then he crossed the room with unbelievable speed and pulled me into a tight hug.
When he finally let go, he held me by the shoulders and looked me straight in the eyes. “Sadie, if you ever, ever, keep a secret like that from me again, I don’t know what I’ll do. I love you. I’m trying to keep you safe. And if anything, especially my work, but anything at all, ever hurt you, I …”
Mom hugged me then, and they sat me down on the couch between them. Grant got up to leave, but Dad stopped him.
“We need to talk this through,” Dad said. “Either Karl is following Sadie, and that was how he found Tyler and Charlotte, or he’s following Charlotte or Tyler. In any case, the damage is done. Unless Tyler finds somewhere else to send Charlotte, Karl knows where Charlotte will be for the next few weeks. Tyler and Rebecca have their hands full with Cici at the hospital, so they have to send Charlotte somewhere. And if we station Gr
ant outside the church, we can protect both girls at the same time.”
Grant leaned up against the doorway, his hands in his pockets. “The camera crew was pushy, but they weren’t working for a station. The woman said they were doing a documentary. And Tyler said he’d talk to them tomorrow in their studio.”
Dad shook his head. “I don’t know what to expect from either of them right now. Tyler’s close to breaking because of Cici. And Karl just won’t let up.”
Mom gripped my hand, as though she thought I might suddenly disappear. Was Dad saying they’d let me keep teaching at camp?
“Sadie, you have to realize how serious this situation is,” Dad said. “And you know there will have to be some kind of punishment for your lie. But I don’t think banning you from camp is the right thing to do, for you or for Charlotte.”
For the first time that night, I could breathe. He wasn’t going to lock me in my room.
Dad walked over to the window and stared out at the darkening sky. “Normally, we’d ground you in a situation like this. But I’m not sure that’s the right thing to do either. My work, and this totally out of your control situation, is partially to blame.”
“Maybe instead of losing more privileges,” Grant said, “Sadie could take on a responsibility instead?”
“That’s what I’m thinking,” Dad said. “I’ll think about it. In the meantime, Sadie, I want you to promise me, absolutely promise, that no matter how small, you’ll tell me any time you see Karl. Do you understand?”
I nodded, feeling like I might float up off the couch, feeling like poison had drained out of my body. Everything would be okay now.
Mom wrapped her arms around me. “Sadie, we love you so much.”
“I love you, too, Mom.” Her hair smelled like coconut shampoo.
“Stay for dinner, Grant?” Dad asked.
“Sure,” Grant said.
Mom and Dad hurried off to the kitchen and Grant clapped a gigantic hand on my shoulder. “I’m proud of you, Sadie.”
The weight of his hand reminded me of what he’d said about responsibility, and I didn’t feel quite so floaty anymore. Not that I was worried about my punishment, really. But I suddenly realized how much I wanted Grant to stay proud of me. And now that I thought about it, telling my parents the truth only felt like the very first step.
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