by Leah Murray
`Ian will understand. You should tell him, for all you know Jack could come here. I’m surprised he hasn’t yet.’
She gritted her teeth. `I just wish this was over already. There’s nowhere to go that he won’t find me, I can’t relax. It’s like he’s always there, always watching me and I can’t get it out of my head. Sometimes I forget, like …’ she paused, glanced up at him, `like when I’m with you. But mostly I’m scared. I don’t know how much longer I can go on living like this.’
He sighed, reached down and squeezed her shoulder.
`You just have to keep thinking it will end soon. Grit your teeth and bear it the rest of the time.’
`Hmmm.’
She rested her head against the wall, stared up at the ceiling, tried to make sense of what had happened to her life over the past few years.
`You know, up until a few years ago I lived a pretty boring life. Went to work every day, hung out with my friends, went out occasionally … then I met Jack and it was all downhill from there.’
`How’d you meet him?’
She grimaced. `At a work do. He came with a friend of mine. I thought they were an item originally but it turned out they were just friends. She’d known him for a few months and brought him along because she didn’t want to come alone. Anyway, he sort of asked me out and …. well, he can be charming you know. He’s quite good looking, he knows all the right things to say, fits in anywhere. People trust him easily. I didn’t think too much about it. I was stupid.’
She looked down, stared at her fingers, then started biting at a nail.
`You said before you should have seen the signs. What made you start worrying initially?’
`A couple of arguments we had. He grabbed me once, I could see he was close to snapping, about to punch me, but he controlled it. That’s the thing with him you see. Everything is always meticulously controlled, planned out, ordered. The facade only slips if you mess up his plans … I guess you can never really know what anyone is capable of.’
Will shifted slightly, looked across at her. `I don’t know about that. I think you can tell a lot about someone’s character just by how they deal with shit. Everybody has some issue they’re dealing with. It’s what they do to try fix their problems that’s so telling. How they react when the chips are down, so to speak.’
She glanced up at him again, met his gaze then looked away, `Thanks for what you did earlier,’ she said.
He stood up, came to sit down next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. She lay her head on his chest.
`It scared me to see you like that,’ he said after a pause and she sighed, lifted a hand and started nervously twisting the bottom of her T-shirt.
`I … I wanted to die then. Just have it all over and done with and not have to worry about it anymore.’
She felt him tense, could have kicked herself when she remembered what Shelley had told her about his friend. `I wouldn’t … well, I wouldn’t ever do anything like that though.’
He didn’t reply, just pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head. They sat like that for a long time, not talking, both replaying the events of the day over in their minds and wondering what would happen next.
Ian was surprised to see her at the clinic so early that morning, especially when he saw the black eye. Jo didn’t miss the assessing look he sent Will; nor did Will it seemed, as he frowned.
`Oh. No, it’s not what you think,’ Jo said to Ian. `Can we go into your office?’ she asked, thinking it best to talk with him in private.
He nodded and she followed him into the room, closed the door, sat down and took a deep breath, filled him in on what was happening.
She was glad to find him understanding and supportive.
`Why don’t you take the week off. Try to relax a bit, give your eye some time to heal. It’ll save you answering awkward questions,’ he said.
`Are you sure? I mean I’ve been having quite a lot of time off lately.’
He put his hand on her shoulder in a grandfatherly gesture, smiled. `You’ve had a lot to deal with Jo, I wish you’d told me earlier, didn’t try to handle it all yourself.’
She smiled faintly. `I guess.’
`Anyway, get yourself off to bed, you look exhausted and so does Will. We’ll look after the dogs. You’ve done a good job,’ he said, leading her back out to the waiting room.
`Thanks,’ she said, cherishing the compliment.
`I’ve given her the week off, you look after her and make her get some rest,’ Ian said to Will as he stood up, came over to meet them.
`I’ll make sure of it,’ he said and Ian smiled, shooed them out the door.
`You can come check on Jess and Nemo later this afternoon if you like,’ he called to Will as they climbed into the Land Rover, waving a hand and heading back into the clinic to call in a locum.
`That’s a relief,’ Jo said, glad to have escaped before Laura turned up.
`Okay, well now you have the week off you’re going to do just what he said. Relax.’ Will replied.
She looked over at him, saw the dark rings under his eyes and sighed, reached a hand over and rested it on his thigh. He looked over at her, smiled, and tired as she was, she still felt a sudden rush of attraction, smiled back.
Once back at the farm, Jo fed Whiskers then went straight to bed, climbed under the covers. Will joined her a few minutes later and she cuddled up to him, promptly passed out.
When she woke, it was late afternoon, around four. She stretched and yawned, turned to see Will but he wasn’t in the bed.
She sat up, rubbed her eyes and flinched at the resulting pain, gathered up some clothes and headed into the shower. She tried her best to cover the bruise with make-up but her eye was still swollen and anybody taking more than a casual glance would be certain to know she had been hit. She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed, gave up and went downstairs.
Will was lying on the couch in the lounge, flipping through an Auto magazine. He turned his head when he heard her on the stairs and looked up. `Oh good, you’re awake.’
She smiled, sat down next to him and he lifted his head, laid it back down on her lap.
She ran a hand through his hair. `You not going in to work today?’ she asked.
He shook his head. `No. Gus has offered to cover my shifts over the next few days. I’m going to take some time off too. We can go visit Shelley a bit later if you like. Grant phoned earlier.’
`Is everything okay?’
`Uh uh, all went relatively smoothly,’ he grimaced `don’t ask me for the details because I don’t want to know. All Grant said was it’s a boy, they’re calling him Luke Matthew.’
She leaned back against the couch, smiled. `Oh cute. Yes, we should go see them. When are the next visiting hours?’
`Tonight probably. Shaun also called, he wants us to come see him at the station tomorrow afternoon. I’ve got to sort out the insurance and that sort of thing tomorrow too.’
`Okay,’ she replied, continued running her hand through his hair, smoothing it back from his forehead, looking at his scar. `It’s so quiet without Jess and Nemo,’ she said after a minute.
`I know. We can stop off and see them on the way to the hospital tonight.’
She nodded but didn’t reply and they were silent for a while. Will went back to reading the magazine while she simply stared out the window, lost in thought.
`Will?’
`Hmmm?’
`Do you wish you’d never met me?’
He frowned, turned his head to look up at her and she met his gaze, her eyes serious.
She could tell he was trying to think of what to say in reply and a part of her knew she shouldn’t be putting him on the spot like that but she couldn’t help herself.
`No, Jo. I don’t,’ he said eventually, started to say something else but stopped, turned back to the magazine.
She pursed her lips, frowned slightly but didn’t say anything, not sure she could put what she was feeling into w
ords.
CHAPTER 23
JESS AND NEMO WERE WELL on the road to recovery when Will and Jo went in to see them at around six. Ian was closing up and Laura had already left for the day, a fact that sent waves of relief rushing through Jo. She simply wasn’t up to facing Laura yet.
They spent an hour with the dogs, Jo promising to lock up after them so Ian could head home. He seemed to be in a bit of a rush and Will winked at her. `Must have a date with Phyllis,` he said.
She grinned, felt the heavy weight on her shoulders lifting somewhat. The burden lightened further at the hospital. A nurse pointed them in the direction of Shelley’s room and they walked in to find Shelley propped up in bed with a small bundle in a white blanket leaning on her chest, Grant sitting at her side. He looked up when he saw them, grinned hugely and Jo couldn’t help but smile at his obvious joy.
She walked over and peered down at the blanket, cooed at the wrinkled red face hidden in the folds, ran a finger against the soft skin of his cheek.
`He’s gorgeous,’ she said to Shelley, who smiled.
`Want to hold him?’ she asked.
`Oh, um – ‘
`Go on, here,’ Grant said, gently lifting the baby and settling him in Jo’s arms. She looked down at him, rocking him gently and he opened his eyes, stared up at her. She smiled, glad he didn’t start yelling his head off.
`At least he’s not a screamer,’ she said, looking up and meeting Shelley’s gaze.
Shelley nodded, frowned. `What happened to you?’ she asked.
Jo looked down. `Oh, um, I …’
`There was a bit of trouble at the house last night,’ Will said. He’d been standing next to Grant but now he pulled up a chair and sat down next to the bed.
`You mean other than the fire?’ Grant asked, suddenly serious.
Will sighed, looked over at Jo. She met his gaze but returned her attention to the baby, not wanting to talk about it.
`The bastards broke in while I was at the field. Jack … well, he attacked Jo but she got away.’
`Oh my God, Jo. That must’ve been awful,’ Shelley said, shocked.
Jo grimaced. `Probably not as bad as what you just went through,’ she said wryly and Shelley smiled faintly.
`True. No way am I doing that again. Ever,’ she said. But then she looked at her baby and her eyes softened. `He’s worth it though.’
Jo smiled, handed Luke back to his mother and sat down next to the bed, leaning her chin on her hands.
`I’m afraid I had to smash the lock on your door. I’ll replace it tomorrow,’ Will said and Grant nodded.
`Actually, I wanted to talk to you two … do you have anywhere else you can stay for a few weeks?’ Will asked again and Grant frowned across at Shelley.
`You think they’ll be back?’ Shelley asked.
`They might. I just don’t want you to have to worry about the baby. Hopefully we can have this all sorted soon but in the meantime I don’t think it’s safe,’ Will replied.
Shelley looked across at Grant again. `Well we can go stay at my mother’s place. She was going to come down to see us but we may as well go there.’
`I’m so sorry,’ Jo said, gritting her teeth.
Shelley turned to her. `Don’t worry about it Jo. Does it hurt still?’
Jo touched a finger to her eye again, shrugged. `Only slightly. It looks worse than it is and of course with the way people stare at you …’
`I can imagine.’
There was a pause in conversation and Will stood up, peered at the baby, tried to step back as Grant grinned, picked him up again.
`Your turn,’ he said, handing Luke to Will, who despite his protests suddenly found himself with an armful of baby.
Jo grinned at his obvious discomfort.
`Meet Luke,’ Grant said and Will smiled wanly, rocked the bundle awkwardly.
`Um, there’s a slight smell and something very warm on my hand,’ he said after a moment, his tone somewhat bewildered.
Shelley’s mouth twitched and soon both she and Jo were laughing so hard they had tears running down their cheeks while Grant chuckled, took the baby back and started changing him. `I must not have made the nappy tight enough, sorry’ he said to Will, who grimaced, went over to the small sink by the window to wash his hands, shaking his head.
`Why me?’ he asked in such an aggrieved voice he sent Jo and Shelley into fits of giggles again.
`How long have Julia and Shaun been married?’ Jo asked in the car on the way home.
`Three years.’
`And they don’t want children?’
Will shrugged. `I don’t know. I don’t really have those sorts of discussions with them. I’m sure they will do eventually, Julia’s always been the mothering type.’
`Isn’t she older than you though?’
He frowned. `Yeah, two years, why?’
`Well … that makes her thirty-six ... if she’s going to have children she’d have to do it pretty soon.’
He grinned. `Well I’m not going to have that sort of discussion with her. I can just see it, me telling her she’s getting too old to have kids she better get a move on. I think she’d drop dead from shock.’
Jo smiled, imagined Julia’s reaction.
`Do you want kids?’ she asked and Will raised an eyebrow.
`Maybe,’ he replied noncommittally.
`Scaring you, am I?’ she couldn’t resist asking and he rolled his eyes.
`Anyway, what do you want to do with your week off?’ he asked, changing the subject.
She laughed. `I don’t know. Relax, like Ian said. Do nothing, try forget everything.’
`I want to go out on the boat again. Do you think you’re up to coming with me?’
She frowned. `I don’t know Will, I’m supposed to relax not freak out.’
He sighed. `Okay, well how about starting small. Take a boat over to the island, it won’t take long and you really should see it, it’s a good place to escape to.’
`Maybe,’ she replied, yawned. `I’ll think about it later. I’m too tired now.’
They had arrived back at the farm and she got out the car, waited for him at the front door.
He paused, standing beside the driver’s door. `What are we going to have for dinner? Should we go get something?’
She considered the idea, remembered her eye and thought of all the people who’d stare at her, shook her head. `No, it’s okay, I’ll make something.’
He nodded, shut the car door and locked it, something he hadn’t done before. He also locked the front door behind them and she grimaced.
`Sorry to make you live in a prison.’
`Jo, stop apologizing. I’ve already told you to leave it. I’m not going to say it again.’
`Okay okay. What do you feel like eating?’
He flopped down on the couch, rubbed at his eyes. `Whatever.’
`You could come help me make it, you know,’ she said with some asperity, grinned as he peered up at her, looking rather shocked at the idea.
`You’ve been spoilt long enough. Come, you’re going to help, you can learn how to make a decent casserole and at least be able to feed yourself when I go back home.’
He sent her a sidelong look but stood up, resigned. `Oh all right then,’ he said, following her into the kitchen.
`Get the beef out the fridge,’ she told him, heading to the pantry and pulling out some flour and spices. `Oh – and also some mushrooms and tomatoes.’
He sighed but did as she said, bringing them over to the counter.
`Okay now you can chop,’ she said, handing him the knife.
His mouth twitched at the corner but he started chopping.
She bit back a grin herself, not used to seeing him so biddable, switched on the oven and set a fry pan on the stove.
`Right, you’re going to make this yourself and heaven help you if you poison me,’ she said.
He didn’t bother to hide the grin then, continued chopping, still not commenting. She was certa
in it was because he didn’t trust himself to not start laughing at her school matron tone.
`Once you’re finished there, mix half a cup of flour with these spices, a pinch you hear, not the whole lot. Dunk the beef pieces in the mix and brown them in the fry pan. Add the tomatoes and mushrooms and a glass of red wine and wait for the lot to start boiling. Once it does, transfer the mix to the casserole dish, here,’ she said, getting the dish out the cupboard, `one I bought, you note,’ she couldn’t resist adding and his grin widened, `and stick it in the oven for around an hour, maybe an hour and a half. Add some cream just before the end and voila, you have a meal.’
`Sounds so simple,’ he said, his voice mocking.
`Hmmm. Let me know when you’re done. I’m going up to shower.’
The grin faded. `Hey, you can’t leave me alone here.’
She smiled, sweetly. `Why not?’
`Well … I mean …’
He frowned at her and she laughed. `Simple remember,’ she called over her shoulder, starting up the stairs.
Jo had a shower then sat on the end of Will’s bed watching TV, looked up in surprise when he came into the room a few minutes later.
`Aren’t you supposed to be cooking?’ she asked.
He grinned. `It’s in the oven’ he said, taking a step towards her and she leaned back, wary.
`What?’
He looked at his watch. `Well, dinner will only be ready in an hour and I’ve got other plans for you in the meantime.’
She jumped up, scuttled to the far end of the bed. `Don’t even think about it. I’ve just had a shower.’
`Hmmm, I’m sure another one won’t kill you.’
`Will-‘
She didn’t get a chance to finish as he climbed onto the bed, reached for her waist and pulled her down, straddled her.
`Will, please. Stop it!’ she said, agitated and he paused, frowned.
`What’s wrong?’
She pushed at his chest in desperation. `Just let me up’
He hesitated then lifted his weight off her and she sat with her back against the headboard, her knees pulled up to her chest.