“Yes, you, you, you. You can’t get past it. Stop thinking of yourself and consider Landon’s motives for a moment.”
“He wanted to win me back… He thought he could just—”
Liz pummeled her with another biscuit, causing Ellie’s argument to fall away before it even reached her lips. “No, take yourself out of the equation and really think about why he did what he did.”
Ellie closed her eyes and tried to recall the dream that had haunted her for over a month. She brought up the feelings she had each time she lost the man before being able to see his face, the confusion she’d felt upon discovering that he’d been Landon all along. But also the relief. Relief she didn’t have to force it with Marshall when all she wanted was to call Landon her own.
“Love,” Ellie said, opening her eyes and blinking up at her friend.
Liz nodded and flashed a satisfied smile. “Now you’re getting it. So let me ask you this. Now that you do have your memories back, what’s going to be your next step?”
She shrugged. “I’ve been so angry that I haven’t gotten as far as a plan yet.”
“Well, get there now,” Liz demanded. “What are you going to do with yourself? Go back home to California?”
Ellie shook her head. “I don’t think California ever felt much like home to me.”
Liz raised an eyebrow. “Then how about Alaska?”
Ellie closed her eyes once again and tried to picture a life in Anchorage. But, just like her dreams, her future was also incomplete without Landon at her side.
“Well?” Liz prompted when Ellie still hadn’t spoken again. “Now that you know who you are now and who you were then, what are you going to do? Where are you going to make your home?”
“I don’t need to make a home,” Ellie said, realizing at last what she needed to do. “Because I already have one.”
“And?” Liz practically shouted the word at her, apparently needing to hear the words as much as Ellie needed to say them. It all finally made sense. Why had it ever been this hard when in fact it should have been the simplest thing in the world?
“Home is where the heart is,” Ellie said, her voice steady, strong, and full of truth. “And my home is with Landon. It’s always been with Landon.”
Chapter 26
“What do you mean he left?” Ellie cried when her father came to pick her and Liz up from the field by the creek.
“He told you he was going,” he answered in a gruff voice that suggested he’d also had trouble sleeping. “Remember?”
“But I didn’t think he’d still leave,” she mumbled, hating that she hadn’t stopped him the night before.
“Why wouldn’t he after that scene last night? A man knows when he’s not wanted.” Her father maneuvered the truck across the terrain, looking at Ellie from the corner of his eyes as he spoke.
He was right, and she hated that. “Dad, that’s not fair! I just…”
Her mother reached forward from the back seat of the car and placed a hand on Ellie’s shoulder. Ellie hadn’t even noticed her until now. “He’s right. You told Landon you never wanted to see him again.”
“But I just needed time,” she argued, choking back a sob.
“Sometimes time is an enemy,” her mother offered sagely. “It was to your father and me, you know. We loved each other like crazy, but we both spent too much time in our own little worlds, apart from each other. Eventually, the gap became too big and—”
“Wait!” Ellie shouted. “Is it too late to get to the airport? Do you think we can stop him?”
“Just drop me off at the big house,” Liz said from the back beside her mom. “You’ll need a spare seat for when you pick him up. But drive fast, because you don’t have much time.”
“Dad, can you get me there?” Ellie asked once they’d returned Liz home. “Or is this just a terrible idea?”
“Actually, I think it’s the best idea you’ve had in a long time,” he said, pushing down faster on the accelerator.
“You could do much worse than a man like your father,” her mother said, squeezing Ellie’s shoulder. “I know it didn’t work out for the two of us, but you and I have never been much alike, Ellie. You’re better than me. Always have been. You deserve the best kind of man, one who will fight for you as Landon has already proved he will.”
Well, this was a surprise. “So now you suddenly approve?”
“It was never up to me to decide. I shouldn’t have pressured you. I shouldn’t have expected you to repeat my mistakes, but I shouldn’t have expected you to correct them, either.”
“I don’t understand…” she murmured.
“Let’s just say I remove myself as a voting party when it comes to your life. Ellie, you are my everything, and I want you to have every happiness in life. Right now, it seems like that happiness starts once you have the right man by your side.”
“So what you’re saying is…?”
“Go get ‘em, tiger,” her father said as he pulled into the airport terminal and slammed to a stop.
“Thank you, Mom and Dad. It means a lot that you would—”
“Stop talking to us and go get Landon!” her mother shouted, practically pushing Ellie out the door.
It meant everything to her in that moment that her parents had stopped fighting long enough to support her. She wished she could spend more time sitting with them in that car, making long overdue confessions and doling out hugs—but she had something even more important to do.
Not wanting to wait another second, Ellie leaped from the car and ran through the giant glass doors into the airport. Yes, of course, this was crazy!
She was literally chasing after a man who was about to get on a plane and leave her forever. She’d seen this play out a million times in those corny made-for-TV movies she just couldn’t get enough of.
Except in the movies, the heroine always knew exactly where to go, what to say. Ellie didn’t have a clue. He could be getting on any plane, going anywhere. And the Anchorage airport was just big enough to make the odds of finding him that much smaller.
All around her passengers milled about with their overstuffed suitcases, getting their tickets, putting their baggage into carts, holding screaming children, and racing past her to catch their flights. She slowly turned in circles, unsure where to even start looking. Finally, she decided she just had to go somewhere, so she made her way toward the security checkpoint, hoping to catch a glimpse of him on the other side.
Her heart pounding in her ears, she made her way to the other side of the lineup and stood on her toes to see if she could see him. Should she just buy a ticket and rush from gate to gate in hopes of catching him?
No, that would take too long—and probably involve more money than she had on her, too. It was time to face the facts. She was too late, and it had been foolish to come here expecting any type of positive outcome. It had been even more so to shout at Landon and tell him she didn’t want him, that she’d never forgive him.
He’d always wanted what was best for her, even when he’d had nothing to gain. That’s what love looked like. That was what she’d had, not just once but twice—and thrown away, not just once but twice.
Ellie walked dejectedly away from the security checkpoint and let the tears roll down her cheeks. What good was getting her memories back if they had to stay in the past? She so badly wanted a future with Landon, but she also knew she didn’t deserve one.
She pulled away from the hustle and bustle of the happy travelers, needing a few moments to herself before returning to her parents in the car. But even though she’d been careful to keep to herself, someone bumped into her from behind. And not gently.
“Fancy running into you here,” Landon said with a ridiculously wide grin.
“Landon!” she screamed with joy, not caring who stared as she flung her arms around him and squeezed tight. “How did you know I was here?”
He waved his phone at her. “Your dad texted me.”
“He did?”
Something so ridiculously simple and she hadn’t even thought about it.
“He did.”
“What did he say?”
“It doesn’t matter what he said. I want to know what you have to say.”
Ellie laughed and crushed her lips to his.
“Interesting,” Landon said with a silly grin. “Do you have anything else to say?”
She kissed him again. And again. And again.
Each time was better than the last. Each time was sweeter, more of their forever unfolding right then and there for all the world to see.
“I love you,” she said at last, taking a long enough break from their kisses only to mutter the three little words she’d been needing to say for so long. “And I forgive you. That is, if you’ll forgive me?”
“Oh, Ellie. I could never be mad at you. But are you sure I’m what you want?”
“I’ve fallen in love with you in two separate lifetimes. You’re my one constant, my one sure thing. Landon, you’re my home.”
“Well, nothing I say is going to top that, so do you mind if I just give you the best kiss of your entire life instead?”
“Bring it on,” she said with a giggle.
Landon swept her into his arms and gave her the kiss to end all kisses—firm, passionate, gentle, kind, but most of all, forever.
“Oh, and by the way,” he said, setting her back down on her own two feet again. “I love you, too.”
Epilogue
“That’s perfect, Ellie. Tilt your head to the right.” The camera clicked loudly as the photographer took shot after shot. “Now, Landon, step in behind Ellie a bit more.”
“How many more pictures does she need?” Landon whispered in Ellie’s ear. “Honestly, even poor Penny has had just about enough.”
Penny stood beside them with a wreath of beautiful flowers hanging from her neck, which matched perfectly with the wedding flowers around the grounds. How far both woman and horse had come in the past year!
Ellie laughed and pinched her groom playfully. “At least Penny hasn’t grumbled about every picture for the past half hour.”
He stuck his tongue out just as the photographer snapped another picture—and Ellie sincerely hoped that particular shot would make it into their wedding album.
“Well, Penny isn’t stuffed into a vest that makes her feel like a penguin,” he said, blowing out his cheeks and imitating a waddle.
“And with that beauty,” the photographer called, “I think we’ve got all we need.”
“Finally!” Landon stepped away, undoing the buttons on his vest as he walked over to where the family stood milling around.
Ellie shook her head and laughed quietly as she leaned in closer to Penny’s head. “Thank you for being such a good girl today and not complaining as much as some others we know.”
The horse turned and blew a puff of air onto Ellie’s neck as the whiskers on her snout tickled her skin.
“I’m so glad you’re here, Penny. I hope you’ll love your new home with us.” Once they returned from their honeymoon, Landon and Ellie would officially adopt the special horse. Until then, she had one last week at Memory Ranch.
Ellie and Landon would have a new home, too. They planned to take over the ranch that had been in her father’s family for generations so her dear old dad could start prepping for retirement.
They planned to erect a second set of stables where they could house horses like Penny, the lost causes that everyone else had given up on. Ellie knew there wasn’t a horse out there who didn’t deserve a second chance, someone to believe in them. And she was determined to help as many as she could. After all, she, too, had been given a second chance—and it had meant everything.
Howard strolled over with a huge smile on his weathered face as he grabbed Penny’s reins from Ellie’s hands. “I’ll take this girl back to the pen and give her a treat for being so good today.”
Ellie shook her head, trying to grab the reins back to no avail. “Howard, you’re a guest today. You don’t need to be helping out.”
The old cowboy waved dismissively and led Penny away anyway.
Ellie walked over to join Landon next to her father. He looked down and smiled at her as he pulled her next to him, keeping his arm around her waist. “I don’t know how you can do that all the time. Honestly, I don’t see the point of having so many pictures of almost the exact same pose.”
Ellie rolled her eyes and playfully slapped his chest. “Well, I hardly do it all the time. And besides, you really do need that many to make sure you get one that’s exactly right.”
She laughed, because even after all this time he didn’t quite get it. All he knew is that photography was something his new bride enjoyed and that he wanted her to have every opportunity to pursue it. And pursue it, she did. Thanks to a few lucky turns and her former connections in the world of fashion, Ellie’s pictures were now on calendars, websites, and magazines all over the world.
Finally she was able to embrace doing something she truly loved. And had always loved. It had taken Landon to remind her of that. Giving her that camera that day had shown her how much he believed in what she could do.
She still did some modeling, too, but it was always on her own terms. She refused to cover her scars. They were too important in reflecting the triumph of her struggle. She wanted young girls and women everywhere to see that there was beauty in every face no matter the color, shape, or even scars making it different. Different was what made it beautiful.
“You look wonderful today, Ellie.” Her mother came up beside her and wrapped her in another huge hug. “I’m glad you agreed to have your hair up like that. It looks perfect on you.”
“Thanks, Mom. Today is perfect. You did a wonderful job planning it all for us.” She stepped back and noticed the tears in her mom’s eyes. “And I’m glad you’ve decided to move here. It will be nice to have you so close by.”
Her mom had agreed to move to Anchorage and work for Memory Ranch handling their marketing and public relations. Liz had said that even though she might be a bit of a handful at times, she could see how good the woman would be at that job. She was exactly what they needed.
Ellie wasn’t naive enough to believe she’d ever have the normal family, but her parents had at least settled into a casual friendship. They still fought like cats and dogs, but they made up quickly and moved on from their own pasts to share in Ellie’s future.
“C’mon, Arlene,” her father said, offering his arm to his ex-wife. “Let’s go check on the caterers.”
As Ellie watched her parents stroll away, her matron of honor, Liz, came over and fussed with the veil pinned delicately to her hair.
“Just take the whole thing off,” Ellie said with a laugh. “It will be easier to dance that way.”
“You’ve got it,” Liz answered, rooting for the seemingly endless number of pins until she was finally able to detach the veil. “I’ll keep this in the big house for you. Need anything while I run up there?”
“No, you’ve already done more than enough. Thank you for everything.” Ellie gave her friend a tight hug. She’d never given so many hugs in all her life as she did today. But she was so happy to have her friends and family at her side watching her get married in the place that had changed her life for the better.
Not only had Liz graciously offered Memory Ranch as the location, but she’d also been the one to stage an intervention that tearful morning after the barn dance. Without it, who knows where any of them would have ended up—certainly not vowing her eternal love to the only man she’d ever needed.
As the others walked toward the tent on the other side of the yard, Landon held her next to him without moving. Finally, he turned and took her in his arms. “You know as soon as we get in there it’s going to be chaos, so can I grab a quick moment alone with the woman of my dreams, please?”
“Landon, you don’t get to say that,” she said between giggles. “You know the dreams were all mine—that you’re the man of my
dreams.”
“Hey, can’t we both be each other’s dream come true?” Landon pulled her closer and smiled down at her from beneath his dress cowboy hat.
Ellie wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled up at him. “Have I told you today how much I love you?”
He scrunched his mouth and pretended to think. “Nope. I would remember something like that.”
“Well, I do,” she said, stealing a quick kiss. “Thank you for never giving up on me, for getting us to this day.”
He smiled and reached up to trace his thumb along her jaw. “I thought we already exchanged our vows at the altar.”
Ellie laughed again. “We did, but you better get used to hearing how much I love you every single day, because that’s the one thing that’s never going to change.”
“I can live with that,” Landon answered with a wink. And as his lips found hers, the world around them faded away. She knew her heart had found its home.
~ COMING SOON ~
To face her future, she’ll need to forget her past.
Most go to Memory Ranch because they can’t remember. Brenna Berry goes because she can’t forget. When her abusive father dies, she seizes her opportunity to flee to Anchorage in hopes that the majestic horses and caring staff at the ranch can help her overcome a past filled with abuse and neglect.
But as Brenna starts her new life, complete with a new identity, she finds she can’t outrun her pain. Not even with the help of a charming local named Matt, who's faced his own demons and won. He wants to help Brenna conquer hers as well, but opening up to friendship--and possibly love--is the scariest thing she's had to face yet.
Will Brenna find the strength to move forward and forgive those in her past who turned a blind eye to her helplessness? And when at last she strips all the hurt away, will there be any part of her left?
Memories of Home Page 14