by Kai Holloway
Now everyone over sixteen knew how they were going to die. If they knew it was an accident, they no longer worried about getting a tumor removed. They didn’t even worry much about the accident, since it was inevitable, and it would kill them on such and such a day, and there wasn’t anything modern medicine could do about it. Even with death by natural causes, people just took pills for their pains, but any underlying disease went untreated.
So only the young still came to the hospital she realized, because they didn’t yet know how they were going to die, and their parents thought that if they took their kids to the doctor, before the cryptograph, they might affect the results.
Rae wondered if that was possible.
The television was on in a corner of the room, and Rae hadn’t really been paying much attention to it. One of the nurses had changed it from a children’s show to a news show at the request of one of the parents, and it had droned on without capturing Rae’s attention.
Then she heard a voice she recognized and turned with surprise, expecting to see Jenny somewhere in the waiting room of the hospital. But she wasn’t in the waiting room.
She was on TV.
“Wait, turn it up,”Rae called out, but didn’t know who had the remote control.
She got up from her chair and went to stand closer to the TV so she could hear the newscast. A news woman had a microphone in her hand. She was standing in the front parking lot of their school, with kids crossing back and forth in the background, and there was Jenny, being interviewed on TV.
The news lady was saying,“I’m talking now to Jenny Morehead, a local high school student, aged sixteen, who recently took the cryptograph herself. Hi Jenny.”
“Hi,”Jenny she seemed a bit awkward in front of the camera, Rae thought, and her hair was blowing around in the wind. She kept raising her hand to move the hair from her cheek, and then stopping herself, and putting her hand back down.
Stop playing with your hair.
“Now, Jenny, you recently took the cryptograph, isn’t that right?”
“Yeah, it was great.”
“Can you tell us about that?”
“Yeah, I got a forty-five. Not like, forty-five out of a hundred, I mean my lifespan is forty-five.”She was blushing.“I’ll be forty-five when I die. That’s what I mean.”
“Well that’s pretty good. Interim. And how did it make you feel, knowing that?”
“Great. I mean, being Interim feels like it’s a lot of time for me, because I’m only sixteen. I know other people get to live longer, and that’s great for them, but for me it’s a long time, it gives me plenty of time to do stuff and stuff, so you know, I’m not really worried about it.”
“So you’re making plans for the future, then?”
“Exactly. That’s what I’m saying.”
God, Rae thought, this is embarrassing.
Jenny didn’t seem to notice, she was warming up to the idea of being on television, with an opinion to share, and she was opening up now, catching her second wind.
“Like college,”she continued.“I want to go to a good school, a great school, like maybe UCLA, that’s what I’m hoping for. And get married of course. And have kids. If I have kids when I’m in my early twenties, I’ll get to see them grow up, so that’s cool, and I definitely want kids soon. Not real soon, because I’m sixteen, but like in college, or right after.”
“Great,”the news lady said,“and what do you think about this new law that mandates the test? The idea that everyone has to take it.”
“Well everyone shouldtake it.”
“Is that what most of your friends think?”
Jenny bit her lip.“Not all of them. One of my friends, my best friend, actually, she didn’t want to take it.”
Oh no, Rae thought. Don’t say it.
“Why not?”the news lady asked, sounding more interested now.
“Because she didn’t want to know. Maybe she was scared.”
“Is she here, your best friend?”
Jenny shook her head.“Rae, no. I think she dropped out.”
“You mean, dropped out of school.”
“Yeah she got her results, and turns out she’s Transient. Death-row two. Which sucks because she’s my best friend, and she won’t be around to play with my kids, which is something we talked about before the test. But it’s not the fault of the test. I mean we’re all gonna go when we’re gonna go, right?”
“So you think it’s better to know than not to know.”
“Exactly.”
The news lady looked off-camera.“And who is your other friend, this hunk over here.”
“Oh, that’s Logan.”
The news lady directed the camera to the left. The camera panned to pick up Logan, and the news lady stuck the microphone in his face.
“What’s your name?”
“Logan Suttor.”
Though it only been a week since she’d seen him, he looked handsome as ever, with a smile made for television.
God, Rae thought. The camera loves him.
Jenny stepped close to Logan, and the cameraman pulled back a little to get them both in the frame. Jenny seemed to cuddle close to him as he spoke.
Wow, that was fast.
“Do you agree with Jenny about the cryptograph?”the news lady asked.
“Yeah, I think the test is liberating.”
“Liberating? How so?”
“One of the worst things about being alive is fear. Fear of death. Fear of the unknown. The future is a scary place. It used to be, people didn’t do what they were capable of because of fear. They didn’t live up to their potential. The risks were too high. I can’t be a fireman, because what if I die? I can’t be a police officer, or an astronaut, or soldier. Fear of death. So people would work at a bank or flip burgers, when maybe what they really were born to do was be the world’s best race car driver. And they never did that, because they were afraid. And now, because of the cryptograph, we don’t have to be afraid. We know when we’re going to die, and for the most part, how. And even if it’s UC you’ve got that date locked in and you can plan for it, and make the most of what God gave you. It’s great.”
“And what’s your lifespan?”
“Seventy-five,”Logan said, with immense pride and satisfaction.“I’m Constant.”
“And what are you going to be when you grow up?”
“I’m going to be…awesome!”
Jenny laughed at that, and put her hand on his chest in a manner that suggested real familiarity.
A wave of sadness swept through Rae, and she wanted to change the channel, but she couldn’t look away, she had to watch them standing together, Jenny and Logan, a beautiful couple.
That should be me.
But it never would be. She was Transient. She would never find someone like that again, someone who was ready to love her and live out their lives together. Because she couldn’t.
“It’s made us stronger,”Jenny continued.
“How so?”the news lady asked.
Logan’s face changed a little.“A friend of ours took the test, and she got a DR2.”
“Your friend you mentioned before, Rae?”
“That’s right, and it was a sad time for everyone, for Rae and her friends. And there’s a kind of grieving process,”Jenny said, looking grave.“We were talking a lot about it, and trying to help Rae through her difficult time, but then she dropped out of school, and it brought Logan and I together, missing her like that. So in the end, it made us stronger. And that’s another positive about the cryptograph.”
Logan nodded.“It clarifies things. It’s so definitive and so absolute - you can’t argue with it, it’s a fact of life. Or death I guess. The test is life and death. And instead of dealing with the notion as you’re dying, when you’re frail and weak and the whole world is against you, you can deal with it when you’re young, when you’re sixteen, and you have the strength and courage and the support of your family and friends, the strength to face your fu
ture. Whatever it is.”
“So it’s better to know?”the news reporter asked.
Logan nodded.“It’s better to know.”
“Way better,”Jenny agreed.
The newscast switched back to the studio, with the same lady newscaster now interviewing a psychiatrist on the sofa. Apparently, the interview had been conducted earlier, then edited in.
“What’s your reaction, Doctor Willoughby?”the news lady asked.
“I think these students are taking an admirably rational approach,”the doctor replied.“Teenagers are brighter than we sometimes give them credit for. They’re able to handle such important information, even as young as sixteen.”
“And what about the reaction of the other student they mentioned, the one who dropped out after taking the test. Isn’t that a danger for society; that kids who become Transients will just check out of society?”
“Well,”the doctor said philosophically, stroking his goatee.“Under the circumstances, dropping out is a rational and an emotional response. The emotional response is to give up on life, because life is too short. But it’s all part of the grieving process. The young person grieves for the future they’ve lost, but of course they never had that future to begin with. It was just a fantasy and when fantasy meets reality, it’s not always a pretty picture.”
“You said a‘rational’response. I’m intrigued by that doctor. In what way would you consider dropping out of school rational?”
“When life is short,”the psychiatrist continued,“it is best to make of it what you can. School prepares students for the future, not for the present. When you’re Transient, all you have is the present. You have to seize the day, as it were, and live each day as your last because your last day is coming soon.”
“So the increasing drop-out rate of today’s youth, that doesn’t bother you?”
“Not in the slightest; and why should it? To educate these children would be folly. It’s not in the best interest of society at all.”
“What do you mean by that? Doesn’t society have a role to play?”
“Oh, sure, sure. A role, of course. But when society educates the young; that is an investment in the future. Education isn’t free. It’s free to the students of course, public education, but we as tax payers assume that burden. We are investing, and in a sense placing bets on the future of these children. Some investments are good, and some are not so good. If you have a Transient, such as the student that was mentioned in that piece, the DR two, as the kids are calling it, well what is the return on that investment? Financially or emotionally?”
“None. Because she’ll be dead in two years.”
“Exactly. That investment can never pay off. So better to let her go and spend the money educating the Constant and Interim children who will contribute to society for many years to come. In that way it is a rational solution, and I don’t think we should fight it, or even worry about it.”
“But the Transients. Where do they fit in?”
“I think it depends. In some cases, they might find a way to contribute to society, even with the clock ticking.”
“But if they’re dropping out, and it looks like many of them are, don’t they then simply become a burden on society?”
“That’s a great question, and I don’t have an answer for that. I’m a psychiatrist, not a sociologist. But it is one of the great questions of our age, I think. What do we do with Transients?”
“Not an easy question to answer.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“We’re going to have to leave it there for now. Thank you, Dr Willoughby. Next up on Channel four news at four—“
Rae changed the channel back to a children’s cartoon, and returned to her seat. She sat there for a long time, not saying anything, feeling numb.
The doctor arrived shortly thereafter with her results.
“Well,”he said.“We’ve run all the tests, and the lab results are in, and I’m happy to say that you’re healthy in every major respect.”
Her mother seemed relieved to hear this, but Rae was unsure. In every major respect.“Can you be more specific?”she asked.
“What I mean is, aside from a lack of sleep and a bit of scratchy throat, which is nothing to worry about, your results don’t indicate any sign of major disease. Nothing that would be fatal in the near term.”
“What about the long term?”her father asked.
The doctor shrugged.“We only took the results out five years. Her cryptograph came back at four, so there isn’t really a point in extending the probabilities beyond that. Typically, we run the tests in five year increments, so if we go a bit beyond the expiration date, that gives us some added confidence, but in this case with your daughter expiring at the age of eighteen, it’s fair to say that she will die of something unrelated to her general health.”
“Meaning unnatural causes…”
“In general, yes. That would be correct interpretation.”
The doctor excused himself, and the family gathered their belongings. They walked back to the car.
“It’ll probably be a car accident then,”her father said.
“I was thinking that, too,”her mother agreed.“Maybe we should reconsider getting you a driver’s license.”
“Mom, it doesn’t matter if I have a license or not. It won’t change the results.”
“You’re right,”her mother said, unlocking the car.“Of course you’re right. I’m a little old-fashioned in my thinking sometimes.”
“It won’t be a car accident,”Carl said matter-of-factly.
“Oh?”her mother asked, as they all climbed in. She started the engine and drove off.“What do you think it will be?”
“Murder one.”
“Don’t be stupid,”Rae said but she raised a smile.
“Oh, I doubt that,”her mother said.“There are a lot fewer murders now than there used to be, and thank God for that. Or thank the test, I should say.”
“I’ll start looking for clues,”Carl said.
“I’m not dead yet.”
“I mean clues about who will kill you in the future.”
“You might want to worry about someone killing you, Carl...”
“Who wants ice cream?”her mother asked, to change the subject.
“I do!”Carl said.
“Rae?”
She realized Mom was being overly nice to her.
Too nice.
Her mother’s attitude toward Rae had changed since she learned the cryptograph results. It was almost like she was going out of her way to try and make things better, when there was really nothing she could do.
Probably blames herself, Rae knew, and then a more likely realization hit her: She’s afraid of me.
What was her mother afraid of? The years she’d wasted on a child that would never be a full-fledged adult? The stigma of giving birth to a Transient? Even after finding out there was no genetic disease, her mother blamed herself. Perhaps she feared others would blame her as well, that they might say it was her fault for bringing a child into the world who was nothing more than a drain on society.
“Rae?”her mother repeated.“Ice cream?”
“Sure. It’s not like it’s going to kill me.”
Chapter 1 1
After that, Rae spent more and more time alone in her room, retreating from her world.
Her first few days without school were spent wandering around the mall and watching movies at the Cineplex, but out in public she noticed the way people looked at her, people she didn’t even know. But everyone must know, like she had“Transient”tattooed across her forehead, some kind of modern scarlet letter.
She stopped going to the mall and stopped going to the park and the beach and the Cineplex, and soon she was alone in her room most days, surfing the net.
But even the Internet had its bad parts. Whenever she went on Cracker, the discussion turned to the cryptograph or things she no longer understood. She followed conversations and cracks between pe
ople she knew from school, but the gossip meant nothing to her - the names were familiar, but the relationships were strange, the sands shifting. She couldn’t keep up, and more importantly, she no longer cared to. The drama of high school seemed so distant and unimportant now.
All of social media was a landmine. She stopped posting status updates in part because nothing much was going on with her life, and also because the comment threads made her depressed. People asking how she was doing, as if they cared, which they didn’t, because they didn’t call her or send private messages, but posted on her timeline so that their concerns were public and they could show off to the world how much they cared about poor Rae, and how sad it was.
Everyone seemed to need a transient friend to make them feel better about themselves, and to show the world they cared for the unfortunate. Rae didn’t want their pity nor cared to be their empathy crutch, and after a few weeks she didn’t even log to those sites anymore. None of it seemed to matter.
Her world was closing in on her.
Instead, she read books, mostly old books, Jane Austen and Harry Potter and Little Women, books she had read before, but liked enough to read again. These were her comfort foods. They made her feel like she felt when she first read them, when she was much younger, when she didn’t know her future.
She checked the news online, and kept abreast of what was going on in the world.
Current affairs fascinated her more now than they ever did, in part because society seemed to be changing so quickly.
The cryptograph was not only mandatory in the United States now, but in Canada and most of Europe. Russia and China were experimenting with it, and the United Nations was debating a resolution to make the test mandatory throughout the world on humanitarian grounds. There seemed to be little opposition to the idea and the only reason the resolution hadn’t passed was the procedural difficulty of letting all nations weigh in on the discussion before the vote was taken in the general assembly.
The test was taking over the world.