by Kai Holloway
This wasn’t true of every transient who was an artist, for there were others, but for some reason the public responded to Benny’s work, his expression of anxieties, the way his work captured, reflected, and spoke to the issues of his time, and in particular the changing culture of mortality.
Even when his paintings were not explicitly about death, they reflected his fears and concerns about his final years. When he painted about love, it was tragic love. When he painted about youth, it was tragic youth. In the end, it was all interpretation. But Benny was becoming increasingly known, and even outside the circles of the art world, his name, his face and his work were breaking through.
Rae, Apollo, Halldor, Danielle and Benny formed a core group, and chatted incessantly among themselves. Apollo was the mysterious one, keeping to the shadows and behind the scenes, never posting pictures or personal information about himself, but always asking questions, probing, testing via discussions back to the others,.
What grew out of their communication was an increasing sense of urgency. That something needed to be done; that someone needed to speak out. But about what? Their doubts about the cryptograph? Their treatment by society?
Benny was the most natural candidate to be a representative for the group, since he was already becoming public through his art, but he had no interest in facing the cameras or answering questions from Constants. Even when interview requests were about his own work, the subject he loved most to talk about in the private forums, he declined to speak. In the public eye, Benny was a recluse who kept to himself and shunned the world, but in the private online club he was as excited, interesting, and talkative (or typeative) as any of them.
It was Rae who first proposed a plan. They should take their ideas and concerns to the media, she suggested. They should speak out on behalf of Transients everywhere. And not just transients, because wasn’t it true that even Constants, as the years wound down, would eventually be transients as well? They all faced the same ultimate fate, death.
The cryptograph they argued, had stolen hope from the lives of everyone. No one tried to cheat death because they all believed it to be fated and inevitable and written on a stone calendar.
But what if it wasn’t?
What if the test was flawed?
All they had were questions and ideas and concerns and fears, but no one in the outside world was talking about it. Surely others felt the same way the Transients did? But everyone was afraid, and everyone was cowed.
Rae had experienced it in her own family, the way her parents reacted to their own results and to hers, and to their fears for Carl, who would one day be tested himself, and marked for life.
Or death.
She eventually came up with a media plan, and pitched it to Apollo and then to the group of Thirteens, the ones who were to die on the same day. She remembered that news lady who had interviewed her school friends, Jenny and Logan.
Jenny had mentioned Rae to the news lady at the time, and it had become a topic of conversation not only during the on-campus interviews, but in the discussion afterwards in the studio with the psychiatrist. They had talked openly about Rae and about her fate, but no one from Channel Four had bothered to contact her, or follow up in any way.
Rae’s idea was to call the news station and pitch herself as a story, a follow-up to their previous piece on the lifespan test, which in the meantime had been heavily quoted online and in the print media. Surely the station would invite her in for an interview? She could even bring Apollo, Benny, Danielle, and Halldor to the studio with her, and they could present themselves as a group.
None of the others wanted to go in front of the cameras, but they all encouraged Rae in her plan.
So one Monday morning, with palms sweaty and heart beating, she dialed the number of the news station.
A friendly female voice answered,“Hello, Channel Four News, how may I direct your call?”
“Hi. My name is Rae Lennox. And I’m Transient.”
Chapter 1 3
It was warm under the studio lights.
Rae sat at a glass-topped desk across from an empty chair where the news lady would sit. Her name was Samantha Morris and she was in another room going over her notes. She was the same reporter who had interviewed Jenny and Logan at their high school campus.
There were other people in the room too. Three cameramen, each with their own bulky studio camera, one sound guy - or boom guy - as they called him. He carried a long stick with a microphone at the end, and he’d also clipped a tiny microphone to Rae’s shirt on her arrival. Her voice would be picked up by the tiny mic. There were another two guys adjusting the lights, and an electrician running wires and making sure the cables got taped down so that people wouldn’t trip on them.
And there was the makeup lady that Rae met beforehand. Her name was Margaret and she was smiling and friendly and liked to talk to the talent and the guests. The newscaster was the talent of course. Rae was the guest.
“I saw that show,”Margaret said with a Texas twang, as she dabbed some moisture from Rae’s brow.
“Which one?”
“When your friends were talking about you on campus, about how you were transient and you dropped out of high school. I bet they didn’t tell you they were going to blab it all over the news, did they?”
“No,”Rae admitted.
“Didn’t think so. I hate when that happens, things like that. It just ain’t right, not one bit. People should mind their own business, I say. Not go telling other people’s troubles on the news. I see it all the time. Of course I do, I work here, but I remember the way they talked about you that time. I was interested of course, because of my daughter. She’s about your age. Transient too.”
“What’s her name?”Rae asked, interested.
“Betty. Betty Berry. I’m Margaret Berry. Betty’s my daughter. She’s sixteen.”
Rae recognized the name immediately. She’s seen a driver’s license for a Betty Berry from Texas, when Betty registered for D-Row -10. It was a noticeable name combination.
Betty didn’t log in too often, nor contribute much when she did, but Rae knew most of the people who came onto the forums. Like most members, Betty had probably not told her parents about what she did online, or who she associated with. That was private, and there was a code of honor among the members. Rae wasn’t about to let Betty’s mother know, but the secret knowledge did give Rae an instant connection with the makeup lady, Margaret. She liked her right away.
Samantha the anchor came into the studio from her dressing room. She wore a sharp, well-cut charcoal suit, a Native American necklace, and a glowing smile.
“Hi I’m Samantha. You must be Rae.”She extended her hand, and Rae shook it.
“Hi,”she said. She felt underdressed now, in her jeans and flower-pattern blouse. But that was her role today. She was supposed to look like a normal kid, a high school kid, just like any other sixteen year old.
And that’s what I am.
Except for the high school part, of course.
“We spoke on the phone,”Samantha said warmly.
“Yes, I remember.”
Her call to the station a few days before had been patched through to Samantha once it was confirmed that she was the Rae from the earlier story.
It wasn’t an extensive chat, only an introduction and an invitation for Rae to come on the show to talk about transients, and her transient friends. At her request Halldor, Benny and Danielle were going to be patched in too, voice only by satellite.
This is what the group insisted on from the outset and Rae’s suggestion to the TV station who was fine with it, but there had been some technical details for the news channel to work out, and Samantha needed contact info for her friends, and some background info to outline some questions.
“Your segment,”Samantha told Rae now,“will be about ten minutes long.”
“Okay.”That seemed like a long time, and Rae didn’t think that she had ten minutes of things to say, but he
r friends could talk too, so she imagined they’d come up with something.
Samantha must have been reading her face.“Don’t worry,’she assured her,“the time will fly by.”
The make-up lady Margaret, was putting on some final touches to her face and the lighting guys were testing exposures. Rae heard some other background activity from a booth nearby, the director probably, and the engineer. The door of the booth was open, but she couldn’t quite hear what they were saying. Which was a little distracting.
Samantha spoke again.“I’m just going to ask you a few questions, mostly about yourself and your decision to drop out of high school, and what that means to you and your family, and if we have time we’ll talk about the bigger picture, okay?”
“Okay.”
The audio guy was clipping a tiny mic to Samantha’s shirt.
“You don’t have to have the right answer,”Samantha said, again in a reassuring tone.“There are no right and wrong answers, so there’s nothing to worry about. It isn’t a test, just a conversation between friends. I’d like to be your friend Rae, if that’s okay with you.”
Her smile was warm, her eyes sparkled and her voice seemed soothing and genuine, more sisterly than maternal. Like an older sister, Rae decided. She didn’t have an older sister, but often wished she had, someone to help her through the difficult transitions of school and boys and relationships, and yet still take her side when she needed to complain about mom and dad. One of her biggest regrets in life was that she didn’t have an older sister, but that wasn’t something she could control. But now maybe she could a little bit, for a while at least with Samantha, someone confident and smart and successful and pretty, and all the things Rae wanted to be, but couldn’t be anymore.
Except today, she thought. Today is your day.
“Yes, that would be great,”Rae replied, smiling back.
The audio guy put an earpiece in Samantha’s ear, and they discussed whether or not it was working. They tested it from the booth.
Rae couldn’t hear what the director in the booth was saying, but that was okay. After all, she was the guest, not the talent.
“Will I be able to hear my friends?”Rae asked.“Benny, Danielle and Halldor?”
“Yes, they’re on standby now. You’ll hear them over the studio speaker system.”
“Okay.”
“Testing, testing, one two three.”That was a male voice over a speaker system.“No, I’m still getting feedback. Let’s go with the earpiece.”
The audio guy shook his head and said,“Told you.”He put an earpiece in Rae’s right ear. It was cold at first, and a little tight inside her ear canal, but after a moment it warmed up to body temperature and the tightness didn’t bother her so much.
“Remember to breathe,”Samantha said, much like an older sister.
“Okay. Right. Wouldn’t want to die onstage from lack of oxygen.”
Samantha laughed.“That’s probably how I’m going to go,”she joked.
Rae thought for the first time that Samantha too had to face the issue of her demise–same as everyone else. She was in her mid-twenties, so had certainly been tested. She was a minor celebrity so maybe her results were already public. Maybe she was transient too and that’s why she was so eager to have Rae on her show?
“Do you know your COD?”Rae asked.
Samantha looked directly at her, straight into her eyes, locking gazes. The look was cold and the expression was frozen, and the moment seemed to stretch on forever. And Rae realized she’d just said something awful, something completely terrible, that she’d violated some unwritten agreement, some unspoken rule, and had turned this woman, her new older sister, her new best friend against her.
With a few simple words she’d ruined everything. Now Rae felt cold and alone.
In her earpiece, a male voice said,“Starting in five, four, three...”and then the voice cut out.
Rae felt the heat rise to her cheeks, and felt herself sweating now, and glanced over at Margaret, the make-up lady, who saw it too. There was a look of concern on Margaret’s face, but it was too late now, they were starting and Samantha turned to the camera and flashed a golden smile, and the warmth suddenly snapped back into her eyes, face and disposition.
“Hello and welcome. I’m Samantha Morris. You’re watching The Conversation on Channel 4 News, and we have a very special guest for you this afternoon. Her name is Rae Lennox.”She turned and smiled.“Hi, Rae, and welcome to our show.”
“Thank you,”she replied in a quiet voice.
Remember to breathe.
“We’re going to bring some of your friends on later,”Samantha informed her audience,“but let’s start with you first. I really want to get to know you a little and hear your story, if that’s all right.”
“Okay.”
“Perfect,”Samantha said, once more warm and friendly and genuine.“Now you first came to my attention when you were mentioned on my show a couple of months ago, isn’t that correct?”
“Yes.”
“Can we play that clip? Okay, here it is.”
A replay of the interview with Jenny and Logan on campus, and then the follow-up discussion with the psychiatrist showed on a small monitor near one of the three cameras on set. The audio came in through Rae’s ear piece, and she watched her friends talking about her, and then what the doctor was saying about her. She hadn’t seen the clip since the first time it aired, though she knew it was online and had gone viral, at least at their high school and in their town, though it had over a hundred thousand hits, so a lot of people around the world had probably seen it by now.
The clip ended.
“Rae, have you seen that before?”Samantha asked when the replay ended.
“Yes, when it first aired.”
“Where were you at the time?”
“I was in the hospital, in the waiting room.”
“Were you sick? You look very healthy today.”’
“Thanks,”Rae replied.“I wasn’t sick. It was just a test. A follow-up test.”
“A follow up to what?”
“The cryptograph.”
“So you took the cryptograph, and you got your test results, and then you went back to the hospital?”
“Sort of. Yeah, basically.”
“And why was that? If you knew the results, why go to the hospital?”
“I only knew the date. February 13, 2018. But the cause of death was listed as unknown.”
“I see. And did the doctors find out anything?”
“No, it’s still unknown.”
“So the cryptograph was accurate. At least in that respect.”
That seemed like an odd question.“Yeah, I suppose so, when you put it like that.”
“Okay, then. Back to your reaction. Your friends, Jenny and Logan. How well do you know them?”
“Jenny’s my -”Rae was going to say‘ismy,’but then caught herself.“Jenny was my best friend from high school.”
“How long have you two known each other?”
“Forever.”
“Well, that is a long time.”Samantha chuckled, and Rae realized it was a stupid answer, but she couldn’t take it back now.
The news lady continued,“And what about that handsome young man with her, Logan? Do you know him?”
“I did.”
“What happened?”
“I dropped out.”
“You dropped out of high school.”
“That’s what I meant, yes, high school.”
“And are you still friends with Jenny and Logan?”
She’d hardly thought about them in the last while, but answered as honestly as she could.“Yeah, I guess so. I mean, we’re not as close now, since I’m not at school. I mostly spend time at home these days, and with my online friends.”
“When was the last time you spoke with Jenny and Logan?”
Not since that interview,Rae realized, but what she said was,“It’s been a while.”
“Let’s talk about
your new life, since dropping out,”Samantha moved on.“You say you mostly spend time at home with friends on the internet. Who are your new friends?”
“Oh, there’s a bunch of us. Benny, Danielle and Halldor, and lots of others.”
She had promised not to mention Apollo so she didn’t.
“And what do you all have in common?”
And now we’re getting to it, Rae thought, and could feel the interview moving out of the intro phase and on to the meat of the story.
“We’re all transient,”she said.
“Explain what that means exactly”Samantha said.“‘Transient.’”
“Everyone knows what transient is.”
The news lady seemed to bristle at the response, as if Rae had challenged her on camera. Her demeanor seemed to chill once again.“You mean people who don’t have much time to live.”
“That’s right.”
“And what does it mean for you specifically?”
“I have two years to live. And so do my friends, the ones I mentioned. My online friends. We’re all going to die soon, on the exact same day actually.”
Samantha nodded, and took that as her cue.“Let’s meet your new friends, shall we? We have them on the line now. First we have Danielle, from France. Hello, Danielle.”
“Hello.”
Rae didn’t recognize the voice because she’d never heard it before. Danielle sounded younger than she’d imagined, even though Rae already knew the other girl was the youngest of their tight-knit group.
She’d never spoken to Danielle on the phone. She’d never spoken to any of them. It seemed strange to think of it now; that they’d never Skyped or voice-mailed or telephoned. But that was part of the unwritten code of the club, that they would be anonymous in some ways. Rae knew what most of the members looked like because she processed the registrations and checked the IDs, but most of them didn’t know what the others looked like, and of course online everyone used avatars instead of their real pictures.