by Leddy Harper
“Yeah…oddly enough, it does.” Normally, this kind of behavior would’ve turned me off, yet it didn’t with him. I couldn’t explain it. It was as if he were two different people—one was the product of his environment, and the other was his true self. And I couldn’t exactly condemn him for what he’d done in his past, especially when he so obviously tried to do better—even if it were just with me. “Any idea what will happen if…you know…it happens?”
“Can we both just promise to make an effort not to let it?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.”
His shoulders rose with his full inhalation, and immediately, he appeared lighter, less stressed…happier. As if eliminating the rules while leaving the endgame intact somehow relieved him of a hundred pounds of pressure.
“Does this mean I get to make comments about your body?”
With a slow-forming grin, he said, “Sure. Knock yourself out.”
“And if I want to touch you? Can I do that, too?”
“As long as it stays above the waist and is meant to be innocent, not provoking. Although, I think it’d be best if you tried not to. No matter how honorable my intentions are, I’m still a guy—who isn’t used to turning girls down.”
“Fair enough. I only asked because earlier, you held my hand. I wasn’t sure if physical contact had to be initiated by you, or if I had the option to do the same.”
This man had about a thousand different expressions, and over the last twenty-four hours, I’d seen most of them—betrayed, determined, what appeared to be sexually frustrated. And those were all before noon. Still, in all the ways he’d looked at me since the night we met, not once had I seen the goofy grin that lingered on his lips right now.
“I take it making out and changing in front of each other is out of the question?”
It might’ve made him laugh, yet I couldn’t ignore how tight his grip was on the steering wheel. “Yeah, you’ve assumed correctly. I think I’ve seen about as much of your body as I can handle.”
“Gee, Talon, it’s a mystery why you’ve never dated. How could anyone possibly resist your charm when you talk like that? It’s like…the nicest thing anyone could ever say to a girl.” It was far more sarcasm than hurt feelings, yet it’d be a lie if I said it hadn’t stung just a little.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he practically growled. “But please, don’t ask me to elaborate.”
At least that soothed the ache. “Can I ask you a different question, then?”
“Maybe…ask it anyway. Just don’t be surprised if I don’t answer.”
“Fine. What are your plans after you drop me off in Florida?”
He shrugged, clearly not expecting that to be what rolled off my tongue. “I’m not sure. I guess I don’t really have any.”
“Well, you might not be interested, but you’re welcome to stick around. I mean, you’ve said you don’t have anywhere to go, and I don’t want you to feel like you have to take me there and then run off.”
“Maybe. We’ll see.” He stared straight ahead, as if forcing himself not to make eye contact with me. I wasn’t sure if my offer had left him uncomfortable, although there didn’t seem to be any other explanation for why he’d zoned out.
“It’s not like you have to make a decision now or anything. We still have time. Who knows, a better offer might come along before we even get there, so…”
He reached over, and once again, he laced his fingers with mine. It was enough to make my heart hibernate in my throat. “It’s not about better offers, Maggie. You’re going there to be with your grandpa. I wouldn’t want to intrude on that.”
“You wouldn’t be. He’s old and isn’t really all there. Last I heard, the dementia had gotten so bad he doesn’t remember anything anymore. Honestly, I think it would be nice to have someone there. But I totally understand if you don’t stay. You offered to drive me to Florida, not move there to entertain me.”
He was quiet for a while, yet he never released his grip on my hand. It was as if he were holding onto me, afraid I’d float away if he let go. And I allowed it. Because I wasn’t ready for the feelings of isolation to return, and as long as he held onto me, I didn’t feel so alone.
We managed to drive another nine hours to a small town in Mississippi before we had to pull over. This time, the rain had forced us to stop. It came down so hard we couldn’t see a foot in front of us, and Talon thought it would be safer if we just found a place and stayed the night. It was only seven in the evening, and neither of us were tired or ready for bed.
“Didn’t you say we have to find sleazy motels to stay at?” I questioned when he pulled up to a place that appeared nicer than what we were used to. Granted, this was no Holiday Inn Select, but it didn’t look run-down or crawling with prostitutes, either.
“Yeah, except I can’t find any, and with as hard as it’s coming down, I’m worried about driving farther only to get lost and not be able to find my way back.”
“What if they ask for a credit card or something?”
He stared at the windshield as if he could see anything through the sheet of rain that made everything blurry. “I have the card we used at the shop. I doubt it’ll go through since the account’s in Tony’s name, but it’s worth a shot. If not, we’ll just have to sit in the car and wait for the weather to let up some.”
He told me to stay in the car and wait for him to come out—there was no sense in us both getting wet if they refused to give him a room. Needless to say, I didn’t argue. I sat alone in the car, watching the lights of the building move through the water, and chewed on my thumbnail while he was inside.
Thankfully, he didn’t make me wait long. He returned, quickly opened my door, and then we both ran for cover. “She was a really nice old lady. The card declined, but I told her I had cash and could pay up front. She must’ve felt bad for us being stuck in the rain, because she took it. Granted, she charged me a little more just in case we broke something.”
Talon opened the door to the room, and we both stood there, staring at the single bed.
“I guess I wasn’t very specific about what size room we needed.”
I laughed at him and shook my head. “Oh well, we can’t complain. At least it doesn’t smell like smoke, and the mattress looks twice the size of the ones we’ve been sleeping on. Not to mention, you didn’t have a problem being the big spoon last night.”
He rolled his eyes and then followed me inside. “Looks like they have cable, too. That’s a bonus. And when I was at the front desk, I noticed a bar. I hope they serve food. That way we won’t have to go anywhere in this weather to get something to eat.”
“See? Look at all the silver linings.”
“Actually, now that I mention food, I’m starving. Let me go down there to check if they serve dinner or if it’s just a bar. I’ll be back.” He took the key card and left, and part of me wondered if only having one bed made him uncomfortable.
As much as I would’ve liked to wait around for him to return, I couldn’t fight off the feelings of being cooped up. I’d been stuck in either a car or a motel room for the last couple of days, and if I didn’t escape soon, I’d likely lose my mind. Not to mention, there was no better time to be outside than when it rained. I couldn’t explain it, but there was something utterly peaceful about it, as though it would wash away my worries. After I found a space in the closet to hide my bag, I removed Talon’s hoodie to keep it from getting wet and then I left the room.
I didn’t go far, knowing Talon would freak out if he returned and I was gone, so I headed to the pool area, which was accessible from the parking lot. He’d have to pass it after leaving the bar, and even if he didn’t see me on his way out, I assumed he’d check there when he found the room empty.
Already soaking wet from the short walk, I fell into a lounge chair and allowed heaven’s tears to cleanse me.
Talon
I was relieved to discover the bar served real food, although I worried that a meal
for two would wipe out my remaining cash. I didn’t want to skip New Orleans, especially after I’d already told Maggie I would take her, but I couldn’t ask her for money. So, before I headed to the room, I called one of the guys from the shop, hoping he’d be able to send me enough to get me to Florida.
“Dude,” Martin said after he answered the phone. “What the fuck did you do?”
“Don’t worry about it.” I knew exactly what he was talking about, but I didn’t have the time to fill him in on what had happened. “Listen, I need a favor. I’m almost out of money. Do you think you could wire me some if I tell you where to send it?”
“Are you fuckin’ nuts, man? The cops are looking for you. I don’t need to get wrapped up in that shit. It’s bad enough they’ve had this place closed for days, combing every square inch with a fuckin’ magnifying glass.”
“You won’t get wrapped up in it. No one even has to find out. I’m with someone, so you can just send it to her, and the two won’t be connected.”
“Yeah, right. You’re wanted for murder, bro. No thank you. I ain’t touchin’ that with a ten-foot pole. Call someone else. Just my luck, they’ve tapped the phones and can hear everything we’re saying.”
“Fine. Thanks anyway,” I said and then immediately disconnected the call. He was right, there was a chance they’d use phone records to locate me if it was as serious as he made it sound. If the cops found me, fine…but not until I got Maggie to Florida. Once she was safe, I would happily turn myself in. Not a moment earlier.
I opened the door to our room, and it didn’t take long to notice it was empty. For a second, my chest ached, as if I’d been hit with a steel pipe, and then I remembered seeing my car out front, so she couldn’t have gone far. And as soon as I found her bag hidden in the closet, I realized she hadn’t left.
It took all of two minutes to find her once I noticed the pool located off the parking lot near the front desk, on the opposite side of the bar. Going out in the rain and getting my clothes wet wasn’t ideal, although I couldn’t just leave her there until I knew why she’d choose to lie on a lounge chair in the dark beneath the torrential downpour.
“Are you okay?” I called to her as I approached.
Without opening her eyes, a wide grin split her lips. “Yeah.”
“Any particular reason you’re out here in the cold?”
She cupped her hands over her eyes to see me. “Not really. I was bored and didn’t wanna be cooped up in the room. Plus, there’s something about playing in the rain that makes me happy. Maybe you should try it. You look pissed off.”
I turned in a circle, convinced she was playing a prank on me. When I found no one else in sight, I moved closer to her. “How does getting your clothes soaking wet make you happy?”
“Here, try it. Lie down on this one”—she pointed to the lounge chair next to her—“and close your eyes. Don’t think about it; just do it.”
Rather than list all the reasons why this was a bad idea, I knelt on the soft plastic straps between her legs and held my body over hers, shielding her face from the rain. “Were you one of those kids who was never allowed to play in puddles?”
Her laughter consumed me, reeled me in one giggle at a time until nothing else existed. “Sometimes we need to be reminded of the simple things in life.”
Drops of water fell from my hair into her face, and it compelled me to shake my head like a wet dog until she squirmed beneath me in a fit of hysterics. She lifted her legs, hooking them over my thighs, and our innocent moment became a little more serious. I wanted to pull away—told myself I needed to end it before anything else happened—except I couldn’t move. I was hypnotized by her laughter, consumed with her stare, and when she ran her fingers through my hair, I was trapped in her touch.
“Talon…” It was practically a hiccup. “Stop thinking.”
“If I do that, what do you think will happen?”
A smile lingered on her lips, though not in the sensual way I would have expected. “You’ll feel free. Lighter. Maybe you won’t continue to worry about things you can’t change, and instead, learn to live in the moments you’re given.”
“Is that what you’re doing?”
“Yes. Well, at least, that’s what I’m trying to do.”
“Am I interrupting?”
“No.” She hadn’t removed her hands from my hair. At this point, she more or less held my head still. “I’m quite enjoying my moment with you.”
I released my hold on the chair with one hand, keeping my other in place near her shoulder, and traced the soft lines of her face, making sure to avoid the bruise near her temple. She closed her eyes, yet her grin remained, and I grew even more lost in the sight of her.
“Maggie…” It was nothing more than a whisper, but she heard it, opening her eyes to find mine. If I didn’t put an end to this now, I wasn’t sure I would be able to. “You’re going to get sick. It’s cold and we’re soaking wet.”
Her hands fell from my hair, but instead of pulling them away, she placed her palms over my chest. “I don’t care. How many opportunities do you get to lay in the rain, practically in the middle of nowhere, without a single care in the world? Who knows when I’ll get another chance to do this. I’m not ready to give it up.”
Time slowed, making every movement drag on like they would never end, until my lips met hers. It was like a magnet had pulled our mouths together, because I couldn’t have resisted if I wanted to. Hell, I didn’t want to.
The kiss was unhurried, soft, nothing at all like any I’d ever experienced before. We weren’t panting or desperate to take it further. And after what felt like minutes, I parted her lips with mine and slowly dipped my tongue inside her mouth. Even then, it was much more of an exploration than a race, and neither of us seemed to care that we were outside, in the rain, where anyone could walk up.
However, I needed to slow things down. Just because it hadn’t progressed into anything more, didn’t mean it wouldn’t. It was only a matter of time before this became carnal. And I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stop it. As much as I hated pulling my lips from hers, I had to. Yet the second I did, I couldn’t ignore the emptiness that crept into my soul, a feeling unlike any I’d ever felt before.
“Tell me about your grandfather,” I whispered close to her lips.
She giggled softly and turned her face away. “Really? That’s what you want to talk about right now?”
“Not really.” I let my laugh brush along her wet cheek. “But I need to.”
She returned her eyes to me and lightly touched my face with her fingertips. “Okay. What do you want to know?”
“I don’t care. Anything. Aside from one mention of your mom and dad, I don’t have a clue about your family or where you came from.”
“Well, my dad died in combat when I was thirteen, and after that, things were really hard for a while. Mom was depressed, and then she lost her job. I tried to help her as much as I could, but I was just a kid, so I couldn’t do much. And just after my fifteenth birthday, we lost the house. We were going to move to Florida and live with my grandparents—my dad’s parents—except my grandmother got sick. She was in and out of the hospital, so my mom decided it would be best to move in with her brother. A little over a year later, she just disappeared.”
I waited for more, but she stopped speaking. I halfway expected to see tears in her eyes. Yet I didn’t. She just stared at me, almost through me, lost in thought without much emotion or expression on her face. Her teeth were barely chattering, except I was far too consumed with her story to make her stop and go inside.
“Just like that? Up and left? Where’d she go?”
Maggie shrugged and then blinked, as if breaking out of the spell her memories had placed her under. “I don’t know. I wasn’t home when it happened. My uncle told me she was upset and he couldn’t calm her down, so he told her to go for a ride to cool off, and she never came home.”
“You never heard from her again? Has anyone he
ard from her?”
“My uncle works at the sheriff’s office, so he filed a missing person’s report. He ended up closing the case about two weeks later when she called him. She wouldn’t tell him where she was, only that she was okay, alive and well, and asked him to take care of me.”
I dropped my forehead to hers, feeling her pain as if it were my own.
“I’ve always pretended that my dad was still alive, that he discovered some top-secret thing overseas and the government put him in witness protection. I made up this whole story in my head that she found him and they ran off together, and they couldn’t take me because it was too dangerous.” Her voice was so soft and low that it barely registered over the pounding of the rain on the pool deck, yet I heard every word clear as day.
I knew exactly what she was talking about, the fantasies and daydreams children come up with to cope, to keep from drowning in a sea of fear and desertion. I’d had my fair share when I was younger, even when it took more effort to believe them because I knew the truth, saw it, lived it. And as much as it comforted me to have finally found someone who understood, comprehended the pain I’d lived with for years, someone I could relate to and empathize with, it killed me at the same time. No one should ever understand what that’s like. No one should ever have to live in a make-believe world because their own reality is too dark, too haunting, too…real.
“Then why didn’t you go to your uncle about the money?”
She closed her eyes, and that’s when the chattering grew worse. If I could see the color of her lips, I wouldn’t have been surprised if they were blue, and if I didn’t get her inside and in dry clothes soon, she would definitely get sick.
“Come on, sweetheart. You’re freezing. Let’s get you to the room and warm you up.” I climbed off the chair and reached for her hand, which she gave me without question. And ironically, once we were both on our feet, we ran through the parking lot as if trying to avoid the rain we’d sat in for the last ten or so minutes.