by Kelly Favor
As I got closer to my room, I heard a sound coming from inside, almost like a gasping sound. My heart quickened as I peeked around the corner and peered through doorway.
It was Josh.
I let out a sigh of relief, thankful it wasn’t an intruder. I’d been spending too much time at police stations and BDSM clubs. Not everything was something sinister, I told myself.
But my relief was short-lived. Josh was standing over by my dresser, the top drawer open. He was breathing hard, and at first I thought he was hurt. Then I thought he was rummaging through my doors looking for something.
I flipped on the light.
Josh turned around, a look of surprise on his face.
He had one hand on his dresser, bracing himself. In his other hand, he held a pair of my panties, which were wrapped around his dick. He was jerking off into them, his hand moving up and down furiously.
“What the fuck?” I screamed. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Nothing,” he replied calmly, not even having the decency to look like he was upset or embarrassed at being caught. He stroked himself a couple more times into my panties, making sure I knew exactly what it was he was doing. Then he put my underwear back in my drawer and zipped up his pants.
“It wasn’t nothing,” I said. “You were jerking off using my panties.”
“What’s going on?” Julia asked, appearing in the hallway. She was still holding the spoon covered with tomato sauce in her hand, and she licked it off and looked at me expectantly. “I heard yelling.”
“Nothing,” Josh said, walking out of my room and into the hallway. “I was coming out of the bathroom and I thought I saw a mouse in Charlotte’s room.”
“Ooh,” Julia said, nodding. “There was one in the kitchen last night, too. I guess we’re going to have to call an exterminator.”
I looked at Josh incredulously. Did he really think I was going to let him get away with what I just saw him doing? “There was no mouse,” I said, my heart rate accelerating. “Josh went into my room and started going through my things. I caught him jerking off into a pair of my panties.”
I looked at Julia expectantly, waiting for her to become outraged and kick Josh out. Maybe we should even call the police.
“What?” Josh asked, sounding shocked. “You’re joking, right?”
“No, I’m not joking.” I crossed into my room and pulled out the pair of underwear he’d just been holding. “It was this one.”
“That’s not funny, Charlotte,” Julia said, putting her had on Josh’s shoulder. “Not even as a joke.”
“I’m not joking,” I said. “He was jerking off right in my room, Julia.”
“You’re crazy,” Josh said. He shook his head and looked at Julia. “I would never do something like that.”
“Charlotte, that’s a really fucked up thing to lie about,” Julia said. Her eyes got steely and hard, and she stared me down. “You really need to think about what you say before you say it.”
“Julia,” I said calmly. “I’m not lying.” The two of them were standing in the doorway staring at me like I was some kind of deranged criminal. I felt scared, and ganged up on, not to mention the violation of having someone come into my bedroom and go through my underwear drawer.
“Charlotte, enough!” Julia said.
“No,” I said. “I won’t. He was jerking off using my panties.”
“Stop saying that!” Julia said. “He saw a mouse in your room. He wouldn’t have…” She trailed off, looking embarrassed, and I knew what she had been about to say. That Josh wouldn’t have been so turned on by me that he needed to sneak into my room and ruffle through my pantry drawer. I wasn’t hot enough.
“It’s okay,” Josh said, rubbing Julia’s back. “She’s obviously upset that we’re hanging out. Maybe we should get out of here.”
“Yeah, we definitely should,” Julia said. “I’ve lost my appetite anyway.” She threw me a dirty look over her shoulder and grabbed Josh’s hand.
A second later I heard the door open and close.
I sat down on my bed. My hands were shaking and I could feel the blood rushing through my body, pounding in my ears. My stomach turned. I felt dirty somehow, like I wanted to get in the shower and stay under the spray for a long, long, time.
Relax, I told myself. He’s gone now. He didn’t hurt you. He didn’t touch you. You’re safe.
My phone began ringing, and I glanced at the caller ID.
Noah.
I picked up.
“Hello?”
“I’ve been driving around your neighborhood for the past fifteen minutes, wondering what possible excuse I could come up with to see you again.”
The sound of his voice was so comforting, so warm, that I immediately burst into tears.
“Charlotte,” Noah said, his voice darkening. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing,” I said. “It’s stupid. It’s just… remember that guy Josh, the one who came to your office with me the other night?”
“I’ll be right there.” The line went dead.
He swept into my apartment a couple of minutes later, gathering me into his arms as I cried.
“Shh,” he said, stroking my hair. “Shh, you’re fine, it’s okay.”
He led me over to the couch, sat me down and got me water from the kitchen.
“Thanks,” I said, accepting it gratefully and trying not to gulp it down.
“Tell me what happened.”
“It was nothing, really. I’m overreacting.” I took in a shuddering breath and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. “It’s just that when I got back here tonight, my roommate had Josh over, you know, the guy from Professor Worthington’s class. She was making him spaghetti sauce.”
“And?” He prompted.
“And when.... when I got to my room, I caught him jerking off into a pair of my underwear.” I blushed saying the words out loud. It was ridiculous to be embarrassed or shy about saying something like that after what Noah and I had done tonight. But I was.
“Where is he?” Noah demanded, rising from the coach. “Where is the little bastard?” He began striding toward the hallway, like he was going to find Josh hiding in one of the bedrooms.
“He’s gone,” I said. “He left with Julia.”
“He’s lucky.” He took in a long slow breath through his nose and sat back down on the couch.
“No, it’s not… you don’t…it was just scary, you know?”
“Of course it was.” He pulled me close, letting me bury my head against his chest. He felt strong, safe, protective. I liked that he was here. Just a second ago I’d been afraid, nervous, feeling dirty or like maybe I’d done something wrong, overreacted in some way. But now that Noah was here, I felt like everything was going to be okay.
“My roommate made me feel like I was overreacting,” I said, pulling away from him.
He shook his head, like Julia’s opinion meant nothing, like she was a gnat who could be squashed at any moment without anyone noticing or caring. I liked that he agreed with me, liked even more that we were having a real conversation, one that had nothing to do with his case or sex. I was having a problem with my life, and here he was, showing up and helping me to take care of it.
“You’re not saying here tonight,” Noah said. “Go pack your things.”
“Oh, that’s not necessary,” I said. But I said it just to be polite. Because the truth was, I was desperate to go to his apartment, and not just because I was scared. I wanted to be with him.
“Get your things,” he said, ignoring me.
I went to the bedroom and grabbed my suitcase out of the closet, the suitcase my mom had given me before I started law school in the city. You can use it when you come to visit, she’d said. I wondered what she would think if she knew I was using it to go to a man’s apartment, a man who might have been a killer, a man who I’d fucked minutes after meeting him.
I gathered some clothes and toiletries, grabbed my schoolbooks
and laptop, just in case Josh and Julia came back and decided they wanted to go through more of my things. The thought of leaving my stuff unattended, that Josh might come back and be able to finish what he started… it made my stomach turn. The only thing worse would be being here when that happened.
“Ready?” Noah asked when I got back to the living room.
“Ready.”
Noah’s apartment felt warm and inviting after the drama that had gone down at my place. He fixed me a plate of cheese and crackers and served it to me with a ginger ale.
“Thanks,” I said.
“You’re welcome.” He poured himself a glass of water and sat down at the table with me.
“Thank you, um, for letting me stay here,” I said.
“You don’t have to thank me, Charlotte, for something that is the decent thing to do.”
The cracker I was eating suddenly felt stuck in my throat. Did he mean that he’d only invited me here because he felt sorry for me? That he thought I was some poor little girl who had no place to go?
“Is that why you invited me here?” I pressed. “Because you thought it was the decent thing to do?”
“Wasn’t it?” he asked.
“Yes, but I was hoping you’d have more of a reason than that, that maybe you actually wanted me here.”
“I wanted you here,” he said, reaching out and taking my hand across the table. He ran his finger over my palm. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It was driving me insane, having to be away from you.”
My heart raced as his lips met mine.
When he pulled away from me, I saw that fire in his eyes, the fire that told me he wanted to get me naked.
But his phone rang then.
I got a look at the caller ID.
Katie, it said.
“Excuse me,” Noah said. “I have to take this.”
He disappeared down the hall, and I tried to push down my disappointment. Just because I was here didn’t mean he didn’t have a life. And Katie didn’t have to be a woman he was seeing. It could be his sister for all I knew.
I finished my food and brought my plate to the sink. The dishwasher was empty, so I rinsed my dishes and put them inside.
Noah still wasn’t back, so I sat down at the table and waited.
He returned a moment later, looking agitated.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
He nodded. “Just work stuff.”
“Oh.” I’d forgotten for a moment that Noah was a top attorney in his own right. Just because he was having legal trouble didn’t mean all his cases had stopped. “Anything I can help with?”
He shook his head. “No. I’ll have to go in early tomorrow and take care of it.”
“On a Sunday?”
He smiled. “Get used to it, Charlotte. If you’re going to be a lawyer, this is going to be your life.”
He crossed the room and wrapped his arms around my waist, scooping me up and off my chair.
“Noah!” I squealed as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He carried me to his bedroom, where he set me down in front of the bathroom. He’d already brought my things in, and my bag was sitting on the bed.
I was grateful to see I’d be sleeping in here with him, not in some guest room.
“There are towels in the bathroom,” he told me. “They might be hard to find.”
“Why?” I asked, confused. “Where are they?”
“In the closet.”
“Then why would they be hard to find?”
“You might need my help.” He grinned, and I shook my head.
“No way,” I said. “I’ll be fine.”
“Okay.” He shrugged. “But I’ll be here if you need me.”
I took a long shower, letting the day wash off me. Noah’s bathroom was filled with all kinds of expensive, yummy-smelling shampoos and I used them on my hair, working them into a rich lather, enjoying the way they felt.
When I was done, I wrapped myself in a fluffy towel, dried my hair until it was somewhat behaving, and then pulled on my sleep t-shirt.
When I got to the bedroom, Noah was laying on top of the bed, a stack of papers spread out in front of him, reading something. He was shirtless, his tris and bis and everything else ripped and huge.
I felt self-conscious coming into the room in just my t-shirt. I should have through to pack something else to sleep in, something sexier. The women Noah was used to dating probably had all kinds of expensive lingerie, teddies and garters and nighties.
But as soon as Noah saw me, his eyes smoldered.
“You’re going to have to pay for coming out here in that little t-shirt, Charlotte.” He sat up and gathered his papers, setting them on his night table.
“Pay?” I sild onto the bed, crawling over to him, playing innocent. “What do you mean?”
He didn’t answer, instead pushing my shirt up over my hips. His hands slid over my stomach to my breasts, his thumbs sliding over my nipples.
Then he pulled me down toward him, so that my back was to his front. I could feel his dick, hard through his boxers, against my ass.
There was no pretense this time, no build up.
He pushed my t-shirt all the way up, pulled my panties down, and pulled me toward him.
“Open your legs,” he commanded.
He pushed in between them from behind and entered me in one long stroke. He grabbed my arm and pulled it back toward him, wrapping his other hand around my neck, his index finger slipping into my mouth.
He fucked me hard and fast.
“Come for me,” he said. “Come for me, baby.”
It was fast and dirty and the thought of him using my body was a turn on. So I did as he said. I came.
After it was over, he reached over and shut off the light, pulled me close to him, so that we were spooning.
“Charlotte,” he whispered. “What the hell are you doing to me?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t know.”
He ran his fingers over my arm softly, slowly.
We were silent for a few moments and then I said, “Are you sleeping?”
“No. Are you?”
“No.” I giggled. “I just… don’t you think it’s weird that I hardly know anything about you?”
“You know plenty about me.”
“Not really.” I swallowed. “I don’t know where you’re from or if you have any brothers and sisters.”
“I’m from a very small town. I have one brother. We’re not close.” He pushed my hair off the back of my neck and kissed me. “Is that enough?”
“No,” I said honestly. “I feel so close to you, and yet that seems crazy. Because I don’t know anything about you. It’s frustrating.”
“It is extremely difficult for me to get close to people,” he said.
I thought about that woman, Nora, his ex-fiance, who died. I wondered if she was the reason he was afraid to get close to people. I intertwined my fingers with his. I wanted to ask him about her, but I sensed he would cause him to become more shut down than he already was.
“Is that why you wanted to bring me to that club?” I asked. “Because you feel like if you maintain control physically, you can maintain control emotionally?”
“Perhaps.”
I waited for him to say something else, but he didn’t.
I wanted more.
I wanted him to tell me about his childhood, about where he grew up, about college, his parents, his favorite foods, his favorite cases, just… I wanted to talk to him.
In another sense, though, this was enough, the way he was being with me. The fact that he was holding me close, our bodies perfectly meshed together, felt like some kind of victory, some kind of tiny progress when it came to getting close to him.
“Goodnight, Charlotte,” he said.
“Goodnight, Noah.”
A second later, I was asleep.
I woke before it was light out, blinking groggily in the dark.
“Morning,” Noah said. He w
as standing on his side of the bed, dressed in a hooded sweatshirt and running pants. Even in his running clothes, fresh out of bed, he looked amazing. I shivered. “I’m going for a run,” he said. “It’s too early for you to be awake. Go back to sleep.”
He kissed me on my cheek and I slipped back off to sleep.
I was dimly aware of him coming back, of the sound of the shower running, of him emerging wearing only a towel, a flash of him in a suit, carrying a briefcase.
When I finally woke up, sun was streaming through the window and the clock next to me said 10:07. So much for getting up early.
I had a text on my phone from Noah.
At the office. Call me when you get this.
I sighed and lied back on the bed. The text was so perfunctory, so brief. I’d felt close to him last night, at least for a moment, and now I felt distant again.
I was just about to call him when my phone rang.
Professor Worthington.
“Charlotte?” he barked when I answered.
“Yes,” I said, trying to infuse my voice with enough energy so that he’d think I’d been awake for hours instead of sleeping in the bed of our client, a potential murderer.
“You need to get down to the park right now,” he said.
“Okay.” I sat up. “Is everything okay?”
“No, Charlotte, everything is not okay. They’ve found another body.”
“Another body?” My heart pounded in my ears.
“Yes. It’s Katie. Noah’s secretary. She’s dead.”
END OF BOOK THREE
WHAT HE NEEDS (What He Wants, Book Four)
by Hannah Ford
NOAH
I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Her eyes. Her skin. The way her body felt against mine. It was disconcerting, how I couldn’t get her out of my head.
My morning run was the time I used to quiet my mind, to block out all the noise of the city and the world and my own obsessive thoughts.