by Kim Faulks
Fear.
Terror.
Hope.
“You wanted her, didn’t you?” Titus growled. “You wanted the woman, danger and all. You knew…you knew, and you used her.”
Titus glanced toward me. “I did…I do. I want her.”
Rival lifted his hand and touched his chest. “It’s not my blood. I’m okay.” Fingers skimmed bare skin. “You scared the shit out of me there for a second. But I understand now.”
Desire drew them…both of them…they moved in unison, closing the distance.
Titus reached for me, fingers skimming the flames. Hunger receded, heat left me as his fingers grazed my arm. “She won’t hurt us,” he murmured, blue eyes seizing mine. “She can’t.”
Flames died away, leaving me standing there and shuddering. I couldn’t hurt them…never…never.
I loved them.
An ache speared across my chest. But it was a good ache. An honest ache, one almost filled…
Fingers brushed. Hands skimmed. I closed my eyes with the feel of their flesh, and opened my heart.
“We’ve got you now,” Titus murmured in my ear.
I dropped my head, finding that perfect hollow on his shoulder, nestled against his pulse.
“We’ve got you,” Rival moved close.
His touch was tentative…at first. Hands skimmed my back, resting on the curve of my ass. His lips were there, brushing my shoulder, finding my collarbone. I turned my head, meeting his lips as he pressed against me. And between them…between the heat and the need, I found myself trickling into myself.
I was a spilled cup…a broken, shattered vessel.
My touch was soft, running along his hand. He didn’t flinch, didn’t pull away. “What’s happening to me?”
Agony ravaged those dark eyes as he met my gaze. “You’re becoming who you were always meant to be.”
“We need to get her out of here,” Titus growled. “Now.”
Panic flared for a second in Rival’s gaze. He gave a nod. “Let me see if I can still wear my jeans.”
I felt the loss as he left, felt the emptiness, felt the ache…felt everything so acutely, so I held onto the only thing I could—the, only thing I needed. Titus bent, and then lifted, slipping his arm under my knees in one fast swoop. “Turn your head away,” he murmured. “Look at me.”
His body swayed and we moved. I stared at the open collar of his soft blue shirt, stared at the perfect skin. Stared at the rough stubble on his cheek, and then the man. Desire sparked…heat raced, tearing through flesh and bone to find somewhere deeper. There was a promise in his gaze, one that swirled like a violent squall, and this time there was no flinch…and no question.
This time there was only an answer. He lowered his head as I held onto his shoulders and lifted my head.
His breath was warm, lips soft, so perfect…so real. I closed my eyes, melting into him as he moved.
Something crunched under his boot and was followed by a squish. I broke the kiss, turning my head.
“Lorn…no,” his plea vibrated through his chest as we headed for the open door.
The dim light blended, closing around the shapes and shadows along the floor.
Bodies filled the space. I skimmed the ones I knew…the demon…the stiffened carcass of the wolf…to the others.
I stiffened as Titus lunged, tearing us through the doorway and out into the sun.
My grip tightened, and, for a second, I didn’t understand…couldn’t put it together.
Not the still smoking bodies…not the shattered, ripped-open forms…
Of the entire pack…
“I’ve got you,” Titus murmured. “Hold on to me. I’ve got you.”
A shudder raced. My stomach tightened, rolling, thrusting acid along my throat. Panic seized me…Titus lowered my feet to the ground as the bitter liquid spilled into my mouth. I stumbled and fell.
“Lorn…” Rival called.
Splayed fingers plunged into the rocks and the dirt. But I couldn’t turn my head. I couldn’t look him in the eye. I couldn’t look at either of them as the image from the warehouse grew claws and hung on…I did that…I did that…my stomach squeezed with the thought, emptying the foul trickle onto the ground. I coughed, choked, and spluttered.
Boots crunched behind me. “It’s okay,” Rival murmured. “It’s all going to be okay.”
My hair fell forward, hiding my face as I dropped my head. “How can it? How can anything be okay?”
And now I understood…now I finally understood.
The dread in his gaze. The shake in his hand.
And yet they were here. Fingers brushed my hair, curling the strands behind my ears. Rival was on one side…Titus on the other. Both men standing at my side after what I’d done. And out of the sickening image in my head came the one question that’d haunted me my entire life. “What am I? What could do something like that?”
Witch…you’re a witch, Lorn. Nothing more…nothing less.
I could still hear Alma’s voice in my head. The one voice that had anchored me to this world, and now, as I heard those words once more, I knew them for what they were…
A lie…
All lies. So easy, just roll off the tongue. Just like Redemption.
You don’t know how much this is killing me…or maybe you do, but you don’t care. I don’t want to do this anymore. None of it…I don’t care…I won’t lie, not anymore…not to her.
Redemption’s voice slithered through my mind…and with the words came the memory. I saw her…saw my grandmother in the reflection of that mirror. They were arguing…fighting about something…fighting about me.
And my own words roared. Where is she? Where is Alma?
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
He was lying. I knew that now…lied just like he’d always done.
“I need to go to The Circle.” I shoved against the ground and wiped the dirt from my hands against my jeans. “I need to see Redemption.”
Chapter Thirteen
“No…no way,” Titus growled. “Not after all they’ve done to you. They can go to fucking Hell.”
His anger was cruel and pure…so different from the man he was days before. This was a new Titus…a powerful Titus. He raged for me…because of me—and in spite of me.
He was a perfect mess of power and vulnerability.
So utterly human.
“What did they do?” Rival cut in. “Get me up to speed here.”
Titus jerked his head toward the hellhound. “What haven’t they done? They manipulate, they rule…and, in their world, only the glamorous and the perfect survive. They have no place for Lorn, and they make that abundantly clear.”
“They threatened you?” Danger seeped into Rival’s growl. “Did they hurt you?”
“They may as fucking well have,” Titus snapped, and dragged his hand high.
He combed his fingers through his hair. It was his thing…his signal. He was pissed. “They treat her like shit, make her…they force her…oh shit,” he turned away, stalking along the worn driveway before he turned back to us. “They bully her into low-paying jobs so she can’t fucking eat, can’t survive. I dunno why she stays, why she puts up with their shit.”
“Because it was meant to be mine.”
Titus stilled, took a breath, and answered slowly. “Come again?”
“The Circle, the entire business. It was meant to be mine. My grandmother, Alma Goodchild, started the business years ago. She was the first real hunter, and the first one to make the supernatural beings in the city fall in line. You break the code, and you feel her wrath…until Alistair Horton stabbed her in the back and took everything. But she was smart enough to enter a clause of her own in the contract. He can’t fire me…not in any way. The only way I’d leave was if I resigned. And that day will be when Hell freezes over.”
“So they have you over a barrel?” Rival growled. “They can’t force you to leave, so they take the food from your mouth?”<
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Orange flames burned red in the hellhound’s eyes. His top lip turned. A whisper of shadow form swallowed flesh before the darkness left once more. He was too close to shifting. Too close to being the beast and not the man.
His voice was so calm, so pure as he spoke. “I think I’d like to meet this Alistair Horton.”
Titus gave a nod. “As would I. Just a friendly chat amongst three grown men.”
A shudder tore through me. Their tone implied anything but friendly, and, for a second, I was consumed by this new bond, until reality crashed the perfect illusion. “It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. I’m not there for the money. I’m there for answers…and it’s about time I had some.”
Titus held out his hand. “Then let’s go and get what you deserve.”
Rival closed in, holding out the crook of his arm. I stepped forward on trembling legs, hollowed from the inside out, and left the warehouse with its sickening secrets behind.
We walked out of that compound different people than the ones who'd walked in. I let them lead, let them help me through the cut strands of wire, and let them open the car door and settle me inside.
The trunk was opened and both men moved behind the car. I caught the flare of color as Rival pulled on one of Titus’s shirts.
Doors opened and closed around me, and then the engine started with a growl. I lifted my gaze, staring at the old clapboard warehouse as we reversed. I was still in there, still staring at the mess of blood and bodies. Pink glistened in my mind, and blood ran freely over flesh.
Shattered bones stuck out from the mess, with black fur trapped underneath.
I didn’t understand what I was seeing, couldn’t make the pieces fit.
White orbs glistened, webbed with tiny red veins toward a single white nerve that dangled like a string. The beast's snout caved into the head. Ivory shards were scattered around the rim. It took me a second to understand…they were teeth…
My gaze drifted to the others…they were all the same…all flesh on the outside, and fur in the middle.
Like they were inside out.
Those words haunted me as Titus carried me through the doorway.
They haunted me now as Titus spun the wheel and nosed the car toward the city. Gravel crunched as we left the dirt track and jolted onto the asphalt. The engine growled, the speedometer climbed.
“Rival,” Titus murmured.
I lifted my gaze as the car coasted. Bodies writhed on the ground…black blood oozed out. Demons…four…no, five.
White ticket stubs floated in the air, trapped by a breeze. One slapped to the windscreen…the bolded words ran with the first drop of rain.
“Jesus…Jesus Christ. Lorn, don’t look…” Rival urged.
But it was too late. Bones stuck out from the middle of a ball of organs. There was no form, no skin…no nothing…and in my heart I knew what’d happened.
We drove past, finding more. Witches, and wolves…a ghoul, and demons.
They littered the streets. Humans were slowly coming out from shops and houses to stare at the mess of immortals.
It was me…it was all me.
I closed my eyes to the horror, closed my eyes to that ticket splattered on the windscreen. Raindrops thundered on the roof of the car, sounding like the stampede inside my head.
I did this. I did it all.
“It’s stopped. Look, these are fine,” Titus urged.
I just had to see for myself. I opened my eyes to find three witches gripping their talismans, whispering prayers. Wolves cowered behind them and scanned for the threat.
But the threat was right here, driving past them.
The silence inside the car was deafening. I glanced into the side mirror, watching them for a second longer.
“It’s a line, like a salt circle,” Rival murmured. “A line of power.”
But what happened when the power grew?
They were thinking the same…
“It doesn’t matter,” Titus growled, drawing my gaze. He glanced at me and then shifted back to the road. “You didn’t know. We were under attack, for fuck's sake.”
But now that we knew, it changed everything.
My power was a weapon…I was a weapon.
And I had to be controlled.
Titus handled the car, plunging through the city streets, headed for The Circle.
I wanted answers…I wanted to know my own power, and yet here it was in all its terrifying glory. But the truth was far more frightening.
Don’t say it, don’t say a word.
Would they leave? Is that what I was afraid of? That I’ll wake up and everything will be back to how it was? Alone, and hating the world.
I’d rather that. I’d rather be alone…than put them in danger.
“That wasn’t the extent. That wasn’t all there was.”
“What?” Titus answered. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I could do more. I mean, I was frightened…I mean, I pulled back at the last minute.”
“You pulled back?” whispered Rival. “You pulled back?”
But Titus wouldn’t leave it alone, stealing glances at me. “Pulled back to what? Eighty percent…sixty percent?”
I tried to relive that moment—tried to feel the power underneath that whisper inside my head, and yet all I remembered was the fear.
I could do more…so much more. I'd barely scratched the surface, barely registered the power inside.
Answer them…tell them exactly how dangerous it is being around you.
I counted backwards, finding the ripple of strength, and stopped at a number. “If I had to put a number on it, then I’d say five.”
“Five what? Five fucking percent? Jesus…Jesus.” Titus roared and turned away from me to stare out at the streets.
“Are you sure?” Rival murmured.
His touch was soft…and careful. Everything I didn’t want. They were afraid of me… “It’s okay,” I whispered. “I’ll understand.”
“Understand what?” Titus snapped.
I winced with the lash of fire in his words. He was angry. I swallowed and tried to still the tremble in my words. “I’ll understand if you want to leave. I mean, I get it. You never signed up for this…hell, I never signed up for this.”
“What the fuck are you saying? If I want to leave?”
Titus jerked the wheel, swinging the car hard. I threw out a hand as I hit the door and then fell forward as we braked to a stop.
“I’m only going to say this once. I want you to understand me. I don’t run. Period. I won’t leave when things get tough, and, sure, killing immortals in a two- block radius is kinda crazy…isn’t it? But I can do crazy. Just give me a fucking chance. Don’t bail on me, and don’t decide what I can, or cannot, handle. Leave that shit up to me.”
His fingers trembled against the wheel. I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong. He wasn’t angry. He was scared. God, I’m so stupid. So goddamn stupid. This was a terrifying re-run for him, wasn’t it?
His wife left, because she decided she knew him better than he ever could.
And here I was, making the same wrong assumption. I shifted in my seat, turning to face him. He reached for my hand, but this time I caught his hand.
“You’re right. You’re right, and I’m sorry. I’m not running, and I’m not pushing you away…Titus…look at me.”
He glanced at our hands in my lap, and then lifted his head. The pain in his eyes was a knife to my chest. I’d done this. I hurt him.
“Me, too,” Rival growled, and moved forward.
I turned and reached for his hand, too. “Never again. I’ll never push you away again. The decision will be yours.”
“Don’t pull away from us. Don’t give us a shadow to care about. If we’re going to do this, then we need everything. I’m not going to waste another fucking second loving a reflection someone wants me to see,” Titus’s hand tightened. “It’s all or nothing, Lorn. All or nothing.”
There was no doubt
. “Then it’s all…it’s all.”
“Okay,” Rival reached for my hair. “Then it’s all. We need to understand what we’re dealing with, Lorn. We need to understand your power. Otherwise, how can we protect you?”
How can they protect me? I turned my head, rubbing my cheek against his palm, and stared at my hand.
Black flames conjured. Even now I could feel them. One tiny thought was all I needed. One perfect simple release… “I could hurt you.”
“Oh, you’re dangerous…dangerous as fuck, actually. But not to us. Only to everyone else. You used your power to save me,” Titus leaned in, brushing the back of his fingers along my cheek. “I’d be dead, do you understand me? If you hadn’t done what you did, I’d be lying dead in that warehouse.”
The memory surfaced. The image that was the trigger. Titus dying on the floor. I couldn’t hurt him, couldn't hurt either of them. I lifted my hands, capturing both theirs against my face.
“Then we’re good?” Titus murmured. “We know where we all stand?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
He straightened, fingers lingering for a second, before they slipped from my hand. I’d stay like that forever, touching them…having them touching me. Titus glanced to the rearview mirror and over his shoulder as he signaled and then pulled into the street.
But Rival stayed, leaning harder into the seat to kiss me. I gripped his hand, needing the softness of affection for just a second longer.
There’d be time for fire. There’d be time for steel.
But not with us…here and always, there was only comfort.
There was only love.
Titus punched the accelerator. There was an urgency now, one that swept through the cabin of the car like wildfire. The Circle’s wheel had been turning for far too long…crushing those they wanted to and holding others in positions of power. It was about time we shattered the spokes and tore the fucker apart.
We wanted this to be over. I wanted this done. My stomach tightened as familiar streets blurred. I let Rival's hand fall, leaving him to the door as the first glimpse of The Circle came into view.
The towering building took my breath away, as it was always designed to do. I looked up, catching the darkening sky in the reflection, until the flare of red and blue caught my eye.