by Anamika GK
Khushi wiped the tears that were threatening to come out and scoffed “You really think they'll agree? Anyway, no matter how nice he is, Rishabh cannot save the day. He is in USA, doing his internship right now”. She could not believe that within minutes of wedding being called off, bade papa would go back to searching grooms for her. Instant variety this time. And Rishabh is a friend, just a friend! What the hell is happening in her life!!!
“Oh”. Sumer was ready to grope any life line right now and Rishabh was a good boy, and he was a close friend of Laddoo as well. While he was thinking of some idea that might save his precious daughter from the social stigma of being jilted on her wedding day his eyes fell on Avish, who was standing there looking at Khushi. “This is also a good idea. Laddoo can stay in this house only after the wedding" Sumer got hopeful once again.
“Avish, beta. Can I talk to you for a second?” he called Avish near him.
“Yes, dad”, Avish walked to the side his dad was standing on.
“Beta, I know this is too much to ask for. Especially considering our history, but please beta. You are the only one who can help us right now. Raizada name is your responsibility too. Please, beta will you marry Khushi?” Sumer said in a single breath.
“Excuse me?” Avish blurted, shocked.
He half expected his dad to grin any second now and squeal “Just Kidding!”. Since that did not happen, he looked at him, then towards buaji and then at a wide-eyed Khushi, the reason of his dad's ridiculous proposal. He instantly cursed the moment he had decided to come inside to find what's going on. That Raichand lad, whoever he was, was definitely lucky sitting ten thousand miles away right now, away from this mess. And he is stuck here, where his own father wants to make him a scapegoat in order to get his 'Laddoo' a groom. Like hell that will happen!
“Bade papa, what are you doing? Please stop this”, Khushi beat him to voicing the protest.
“I am talking naa, Laddoo. Keep quite”, Sumer shushed her.
“You must be joking dad”, Avish looked at him pointedly.
“No beta. I am serious”, Sumer said with utmost sincerity.
“Dad. I don't believe in marriages. And you know that”, Avish retorted.
“Please consider it once. I vouch for Laddoo. She is the best girl you can ever find” Sumer pleaded.
“I am sure she is. But I am not marrying her. End of discussion”, Avish controlled the anger that had started bubbling inside him.
“Beta. For me. For saving Raizada name. Please”, Sumer tried once more.
“She is NOT a Raizada and anyway I don't give a damn about Raizada name. Don't start with emotional blackmail now”, Avish replied angrily.
Those callous words did it for Sumer Singh Raizada. Pressure from all quarters finally took its toll.
“Of course! You don't give a damn about Raizada name. Like mother, like son' he exploded and said one thing he should have not said. At any cost.
After staring at his father in dead silence for a few seconds, Avish hissed in a naked agony written all over his face, “I knew it. You'll never let it go. Is this why you wanted me here? So that you can insult me to your hearts content? Something you could not do to your wife?”
Monstrosity of his error had dawned on Sumer as soon as those words had left his mouth. How could he say that? To Avish? Sumer wanted to kill himself for hurting his son like this. He stepped towards him. “Sorry beta. You know I did not mean that. Sorry”
Avish stepped back. “Then what did you mean? Ugh, I was such a bloody fool to think that you actually cared and came back to this blasted place once again” he bellowed.
“I was ... I was thinking of both my children's happiness” Sumer stammered.
“Then stop thinking about mine. And you cannot settle this girl's life at my cost. I am not your back-up plan”, Avish yelled in rage.
“It’s not like that. I wasn't thinking clearly beta”, Sumer had mellowed down with Avish's outburst.
“So, when you can't think clearly, you push me into someone else's mess? Wait! ... All this baraat not turning up... Is this some kind of a dirty tactic to ensure I don't leave again?”
“What? Do you think I will use dirty tactics on you?” Sumer asked in a distressed tone.
“We can never tell, can we? If my mother can, then why can't my father?”, came the cutting remark.
“You are my only son, Avish. I love you, beta”, he tried to mollify his enraged son.
“Oh please! More than your only son, you are worried about this girl. For her you are ready to force me into an institution I have no faith in. That too, courtesy you” he bit out.
“I have been seeking your love since last five years beta. That has to count for something”,
“'I did not ask you to seek anything from me. Anyway you and mom have successfully wrenched 'love' out of my heart long ago, so please stop looking for something that does not exist in me”, he said sarcastically.
“Don't say this beta. I am sorry. You know I am. I did not mean to compare you with your mother. It just came out. And I understand your stand as well. I am very tensed right now. Please understand” Sumer pleaded.
“I understand. That is why I will leave you now to attend to ‘your family’ emergency... dad”. He turned to leave but stopped and looked back. “I’ll head back to New York at the earliest”, he declared and made his way out of the room.
Sumer Singh Raizada flopped on the couch defeated, with his head held between his hands. Khushi started crying softly. Things have spiraled out of control within mere minutes and she was unintentionally the reason of all this. She closed her eyes in despair and leaned into buaji's shoulder, who looked dumbfounded at what had just transpired between her brother and nephew. After a few minutes, Khushi sat straight, wiped her eyes as a look of determination dawned on her face. She was the reason of this mess and she only will sort it out. ASAP. There was no time to loose.
“Bade papa”.
Sumer looked at her.
“Please go and stop him. Now. Else he might start packing and booking tickets” she said.
“I lost him again, Laddoo” Sumer mumbled.
“No, you haven't. Nothing is lost. Go. Talk to him. Bade papa fast. Don't waste time. Apologize. On my behalf too”, she guided her father-figure.
“Guests?” Sumer said standing up.
“Don't worry about them. They must be busy eating. We have time for that. And I am sure buaji can handle them, right buaji?”, Khushi assured him.
Sumer looked at his sister, who nodded in affirmative. “Go bhaiya. Bitwa had come home after so many years, this should not have happened. I'll take care of guests” she said.
After Sumer left the room, and after going back and forth on few ideas Khushi turned to buaji and suggested, “How does me meeting with an accident sounds? Like slipped off the staircase or something? Bade papa and Jha family are with me in the hospital and the wedding has been postponed. What say?”
“Hai re Nandkishore. That kameena Suraj should meet with an accident. Why my lovely titaliya? Don't say such rubbish”, Buaji chided her immediately.
“Okay, then you give some brilliant idea that explains mine and bade papa's absence along with that Suraj 's. I am all ears”, Khushi narrowed her eyes.
When buaji could not come up with anything half as convincing, she agreed to Khushi's plan. “Don't elaborate, just get rid of the guests for now. Bade papa will handle everything tomorrow”, Khushi added with an unwavering trust in her father figure, while buaji pulled hair pins and fake bun out of her hair. With misty eyes, buaji lovingly warded evil eye off her brave daughter, who was holding the fort amid the ton of bricks that have fallen on her head. She instructed Khushi to take some rest, switched off lights of the room and closed the door behind her. How can such a beautiful day turn this ugly in a matter of one hour, Kalyani asked her Nandkishore. “Please Nandkishore, give us all strength to pull through this”, she prayed wiping her tears, as she headed to face the guests.
Khushi lied down hugging a pillow, her mind cluttered with all that had happened. First that Suraj ran away after all the guests have assembled in Raizada Mansion, then bade papa wanted her to marry Rishabh out of the blue and as if all this was not enough, he went ahead and yelled at his son for her. The son whom he shares a very delicate relationship with. Slowly and soundlessly her lips started trembling. She rarely cried, it was not in her nature. Bade papa has raised her to be a strong girl. Threads of practicality and thoughts of bade papa's heart condition had kept her from falling apart in the last hour. But now in the silent darkness of the night, the dam of her bravado crumbled. Her self-control snapped. And she wallowed in the feeling of humiliation. In feeling of pain. In the insult she felt. In the sadness that was weighing her whole being down. She let the gaping hole in her heart take control. A pinching feeling that was twisting her gut took over. No matter what Manohar uncle says the content of his letter was, everyone knows why Suraj ran away.
And she let herself cry, like never before. She cried into her favorite pillow. Cried till her eyes burnt. Till they were the same color as a new bride's blushing cheeks. Muffled her heart wrenching sobs with her palm until she drew blood. She cried until there were no more tears left in her and no more energy to shed them either.
Chapter 3
Raizada Constructions was a huge construction firm in India, started by Sumer Singh Raizada in early 1970's, as he was not interested in zamindari and money lending business of his ancestors. And when Avish had joined RC five years back, he immediately channelized his energy into overseas and government projects using the infrastructure and expertise of RC and its staff. He had recently successfully completed a natural gas pipeline project for USA government in partnership with an American construction firm, worth billions. Their first turn-key project of a 60 story residential building in Dubai, which Avish had suggested Sumer goes after, was in its initial stages and buyers have already lined up for it.
Sumer was very proud of his son's contribution to their construction empire. He was amazed to see Avish's ability to handle clients, his risk analysis that were generally bang on and his research models to look for new projects which were far better than their competitors. He was glad that what all his son had faced in his personal life, it did not affect his professional acumen at least. Of course, Masters from London School of Economics had helped too.
In India Avish had set his heart on the Government Restoration Project of historical buildings in the golden triangle of Jaipur-Delhi-Agra. It was a very prestigious project and a profitable one too. After deciding to shift to India last year, he had sent his father the business plan and tender quotes to be submitted for it. When Sumer Singh Raizada figured his son's ambitious forward integration plan for their construction business, he had put in all his head, heart, contacts and money to secure this tender. And they had won it two months back paving way for Avish's return to India.
The much awaited return, which was under scrutiny right now.
Like Mother, Like Son.
The odious statement sat like a ghost between father and son, who were sitting in silence side by side on the bed in Avish's room. Sumer was looking at Avish and Avish was looking straight ahead, with the veins in his temple throbbing. When he had entered Avish's room, Sumer was pleasantly surprised to find the room intact, with nothing broken. Finally anger management sessions paid off, he thought. He had urged Avish to give them a try in New York, after he had hurt himself badly during one of his anger episodes.
Sumer knew that he had not been a good parent to his boy. Avish's anger issues, his clamming up, his cynical attitude and the way he ran away from emotions was all his and Sujata's doing. They had been so caught up in putting each other down, that they never paid attention to a little Avish who hid behind the curtains and sobbed while his parents hurled insults and abuses at each other. All his helplessness as a child found its vent in the form of anger in his late teens. The fear of one of his parents leaving had scared him to such an extent that he had become very quiet at an early age. About showing affection, well he did not see any display of affection around the house, so he never learnt.
He cursed himself for saying what he said when he very well knew that Avish was nothing like his mother. And he cursed Sujata Mathur ex-Raizada from the bottom of his heart. Even after her death she is not leaving them alone. In his mind she stays as his biggest ever regret, and in Avish's as his biggest ever error of judgment. The woman used her own son like a puppet and had died without an iota of guilt.
Oh darling! I don't give a damn about Raizada name, were her parting words to Sumer. And in the malicious manner that they were spoken in, the sound of it will go with him to his grave, ingrained on his mind. Avish did not even know what raw nerve had he touched in his anger today. He shook his head and stared into the space Avish had been staring at since last ten minutes. “There are so many things my broken child still doesn't know about his mother, and I will keep it this way. No more misery for my son” he told himself once more, like he has been telling since last five years that he has gotten him back in his life.
This day will go into the black listed days of Raizada Mansion. Everything that can go wrong, has gone wrong. But right now he needs to keep his son here, with him. By any means.
'I cannot apologize enough for what I just said. But can you try to forgive me beta?' Sumer started.
Silence.
“It's been a very rough evening and I am under tremendous pressure. I know, you don't like to talk about Khushi but she is facing the worst nightmare of a girl's life right now. Trust me beta, it isn't like I choose her over you or anything. In the desperation to save her from social stigma, my thinking got clouded for a while. I will never expect you to compromise your life for anyone. It was a grave mistake on my part to ask you to marry her and I accept it. But there was no ill intention or dirty trick involved. Trust me beta. I have disappointed you several times, I agree, but have I ever broken your trust?”, Sumer tried to extract some answer out of his son.
Silence.
“Please don't go back. I will do whatever you will ask me to. Just don't go back beta. I want you near me. I have been living without you since last eleven years and I don't want to continue like this anymore. Avish, stay beta”, he pleaded.
“You don't want me. You need me. I am a need for you, to take care of your business, heir to your Raizada name. Now you need me to fill in the place of a runaway groom. When had you guys ever wanted me?” Avish spoke, traces of anger showing from under the chilled tone.
“I want to be with you, beta. I want to be with you, that is why I come running to meet you every year in New York. About taking care of business, now that you handle Raizada Constructions you do realize that if we shut down all our ventures right now, we have more than enough money to last us our life time, don't you? As for Raizada name, I care for it as long as I am alive, after that it is not my concern and I do not wish to burden you with it. And I am sorry about the marriage thing, shouldn't have said anything that I said there. Any other thing that makes you think I need and not want my flesh and blood near me?”
Listening to his dad's declaration of wanting him, Avish's mind wandered back in time. After being sent to boarding school at the age of fourteen, he had made peace with his life. And he had handled the information of their divorce and his joint custody grant very calmly too. But only if they had let that peace prevail in his life, if only. Where he was invisible to them previously, now they showered him with hawk like attention. Both his parents left no stone unturned to buy his love and his favor.
In the two months of summer vacation, his mom insisted that he comes to stay with her first, and also got his room set up in her new house. His dad made sure that his welcome home present reaches to him even before he left the hostel. Gradually he started sympathizing with his mom though, for she used to cry in front of him, complaining about his dad's atrocities, her innocence, his accusation on her character, wh
ereas his dad just wanted him to forget everything like it never happened and move on. His gullible mind got entangled in tales woven by his mother. His dad's chances with him were successfully ruined by her, and he was a stupid fool who blindly aided her in her agenda of hurting Sumer Singh Raizada. For nine bloody years.
Just five years ago he realized how wrong he was in judging his father. Before that, his anger towards his dad was totally justified in his heart. As the silence stretched in the room, out of the blue, from the deep recess of his heart, Sumer decided to make a confession that was long overdue.
“I know you hold it against me, whatever happened between us in your LSE hostel and after that, and rightfully so. I knew that she was feeding you lies and instead of protecting you I abandoned you in anger. I should have not given up beta, but I was so tired of trying to make things normal. My hatred for your mother over powered my love for you that time, and I will always regret that. All my life”, Sumer said, honestly.
Avish’s eyes snapped to his dad. This was the first time he had brought that event up. The precise reason why it took Avish so much time to trust his dad's love enough to move in with him. That day marked his dad's indifference towards him, when he gave up on Avish like a lost cause. Left him with his mother, like Avish had wanted, like his mother had always planned.
Avish gulped trying to reign in the emotions that were crowding his heart. Unknowingly, today his dad has given Avish's aching heart the closure it was looking for. What had happened cannot be changed, but his accepting it helped. With these words the hurt of his father's indifference got salved inside his heart today. He needed to know that his dad realizes that his giving up on him all those years back had made him insecure that he is not that important to his father. That it was holding back Avish from accepting his love now, unsure he’ll take it back any time he would like.