by Summers, MJ
"Judging by the look on your face, I guess I look pretty rough. I haven't seen myself yet."
"You look hurt, yeah. There's a big lump on your forehead and lots of bruises. Can you remember what happened?" Cole asked.
"Sort of, I was driving back to the ranch. I came around a corner and saw something run across the road and then I woke up here. They told me I hit a deer," Claire said.
Just then, Alicia walked into the room, "Oh Claire, honey, you're awake," she said, crossing the room and standing on the side of the bed opposite Cole. She gently brushed the hair off of Claire's forehead, "Can I get you anything?"
"I'd love some water," Claire replied.
"Sure thing sweetie," Alicia held the cup to Claire for her have a drink. "Listen, before a nurse comes in, we better mention that Cole had to tell them that you two live together so that we could get in. He told them your family is in England."
Live together? Part of her wished that were true with how sweet he was being and the other part wished she had the strength to tell him to fuck off. "Okay. Thanks Cole. I appreciate you saying that. It's nice to have company," Claire smiled weakly at him.
A new nurse came in, along with a doctor, to check on Claire. "Can you two wait outside while I see how our patient is doing?"
Alicia and Cole nodded and walked out into the hallway.
"She looks pretty beat up," Alicia said.
"Yeah, it's hard to see her like this," Cole said, his voice thick with emotion.
Ben met them in the hallway, "Hey you two," he said, giving Alicia a quick kiss on the forehead. "How's Claire?"
"She'll be okay I think," said Alicia, "We don't have much information yet, but she's awake. The doctor is in with her now."
A moment later, the nurse came out, "We're going to take her upstairs for some tests. It'll take about half an hour. We don't like more than two visitors at a time, so maybe just a quick hello, okay?"
* * *
An hour later, when Claire was wheeled back into the room, Cole was waiting for her. "Ben and Alicia went back to the ranch. They're going to handle everything so I can stay with you. Do you need me to call anyone for you?"
"No, I'll call my sister after I get all the test results back. I don't want to worry her for nothing. Thanks though."
"You look tired. Do you want me to go so you can get some sleep?" Cole asked quietly.
"Would it be strange if I need to sleep and I want you to stay too?" Claire replied. She couldn't bare the thought of being alone right now.
"Not at all."
Cole found the light switch and turned off the lights. He gently kissed her cheek and sat down beside her in the chair, holding her small hand in his.
As Claire lay there with her eyes closed, drifting into a medication-induced sleep, she couldn't help but have a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. She wanted nothing more than for this sweet man to be the one, but she already knew he was not. He had cheated on her, or at the very least strongly considered it. There was no way that Claire could stay with him now. She could sense the loneliness that was about to hit her when she told him what she knew and ended it. Why had she asked him to stay? She was just torturing herself, allowing him to take care of her like this.
Chapter 29
Cole watched her for a long time, thinking about their relationship so far - the roller coaster of it all. He tried to figure out what upset her so badly a few days earlier, but came up blank. He knew that right now none of it mattered. The only thing that mattered was to be there for her until she could grow stronger and heal. Having almost lost her, he had a completely new perspective. He was certain now that he wanted to be with Claire and try to work through the things that spooked her. What he didn't know was whether she would want to be with him when this whole ordeal was over.
Claire had been asleep for a couple of hours when the doctor came back in and turned on the lights. Cole had been dozing in the chair beside her.
"Claire?" the doctor touched her arm, "Claire, it's Dr. Olsen. I have your test results."
Claire opened her eyes. She nodded, trying to look brave, but the fear in her eyes was unmistakable. Cole held her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Everything looks pretty good. No sign of a hematoma or nerve damage, no swelling so far, so those are all good signs. We'll need to keep you here for a couple more days though to monitor your brain and make sure it doesn't start swelling. So far, it doesn't look likely though, so I'd say you got pretty lucky."
Claire squeezed Cole's hand, "Thanks Dr. Olsen," she said, tears filling her eyes, "that's a relief."
The doctor smiled at her. "Hey, you remembered my name, so nothing wrong with your short term memory either," he said with a wink. "Get some rest and I'll be back to check on you tomorrow unless anything changes."
Cole stood up and shook the doctor's hand, "Thanks doc!"
"I didn't do anything really. I just get to be the lucky guy giving good news for a change." With that, he walked out leaving Cole and Claire alone.
Claire looked up at the ceiling, trying to blink back her tears. Cole sat on the bed beside her and gave her a long careful hug, "You have no idea how scared I was. I can't remember ever worrying that much about anyone."
Claire looked up at him, "Thanks Cole for being here. I know things weren't on good terms the last few days."
"We can talk about that later, or not at all, Claire. It doesn't matter to me anymore. I just want to be here for you."
"Not at all? That would be convenient," Claire replied, staring straight into his eyes.
"What?" Cole responded, pulling away from her. "I just meant that it doesn't matter to me that you got so insecure again. I'm over it."
"You may be, but I'm sure as hell not. Before you left with the volleyball girls, I went into your bag to leave you a note and I found the box of condoms."
Cole sighed heavily, suddenly understanding why she had been so angry with him. "Well, now it makes sense. I'll admit that looks pretty bad..."
"It doesn't just look pretty bad, Cole. It is."
"I know it's going to sound hard to believe, but I didn't bring those for me. I brought them in case any of the girls and my guys seemed like they were going to hook up. At the time, I thought it would be better to hand out the condoms than have any accidents. Then I thought better of it and realized that if I was handing out condoms to my guys, it would be like saying it was okay for them to have sex with the guests, and it isn't. In the end, I just stayed awake until after everyone was asleep to keep an eye on them. I also made sure I was awake first. Nothing did happen that I know of," Cole paused waiting to hear what Claire had to say.
"You're right, Cole. That is hard to believe," Claire said with a sigh.
"I'm sure it is, but it's the truth, Claire. I never had any intention of sleeping with any of those girls. Not even for a second. I only want to be with you. I told you that before I left and I'm a man of my word, Claire. I've never given you a reason not to trust me."
"Well Cole, the condoms in your bag is a pretty big red flag, don't you think? What would you think if you were me?"
"I hope that I'd trust you and take you at your word, but I also know that you've been cheated on before. I know it's a tough thing for you to do."
Claire stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out if he was indeed telling the truth. "It's more than tough for me, Cole. It's damn near impossible. I just won't be a trusting fool ever again."
Cole looked at Claire's battered face; he had no desire to fight with her. "You know, Claire, I figure what that asshole did to your heart is just about as bad as what that deer did to your body. You've been hurt really badly and now I've done something that has made you question me. It was a fucking stupid thing to do, Claire, but I promise you, I was never going to use those condoms. I don't want to be with anyone else but you. And I would never do that to you. Ever."
Claire looked him in the eye as he spoke. He seemed so sincere and everything in
her wanted so badly to believe him. It was all so confusing for her. He had never giving her any reason to doubt him but how could he expect her to believe that he didn't want to sleep with any of those girls. They were gorgeous and willing. She needed to keep her guard up and be smarter from now on.
Cole looked down at her, "I can understand why you got so angry. It looks really bad."
Claire started to tear up, "I'm just really confused right now, Cole. I don't know what to think."
Cole stared at her for a moment. "Claire, I would never cheat on you. I hope you'll realize that I'm telling the truth because there's nothing I want more than to be with you. I've never met anyone like you. You are amazing, you know that?" Cole paused, giving her a little half-smile, "I thought I was going to lose you twice in the last two days and it would have shaken me to the core."
Claire nodded, tears streaming down her face.
Cole wiped her tears with his thumb, "Don't cry. We'll figure this out together, okay? For now, you need to rest and not worry about anything. Let me take care of you and when you are stronger, you can kick me to the curb if you still think I'm a cheating bastard."
Claire laughed a little at his words. Nothing would have pleased her more than if he was the real deal. He seemed almost perfect. "Okay, Cole. I'm pretty sure I'm going to believe you when these drugs wear off. No promises though."
"Smart girl. You shouldn't make important decisions when you're high as a kite. Have a sleep. I'll be here when you wake up." Cole said.
Chapter 30
The next morning, Claire had to go back for another brain scan. Cole left for a few hours to get showered, changed and to eat something. Claire called Janet to update her on how she was doing. She shared with Janet what Cole had told her about the condoms.
Janet sounded sceptical, "I know you want to believe him, hon, but seriously? It doesn't sound right to me."
"I know," Claire sighed, "I'm just going to wait and see. Keep my guard up. I'm sure we'll talk about it some more and then I'll just have to go with my gut. If I had listened to my instincts with Fuckwit, I would have left him years ago. I just kept ignoring that voice in my head screaming for me to leave him."
"What is your gut telling you about Cole?"
"As insane as it sounds, I think I believe him."
"Hmmm, are you sure it isn't just your vajayjay wanting you to believe him?" Janet replied.
Claire laughed and then winced in pain, "Ouch. Shit. No more jokes."
"Sorry, Claire. You okay?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine. I should get some sleep."
"Okay, sweetie. I wish I was there right now. This sucks. I would totally kick his ass for you and then take care of you myself," Janet said, her voice full of regret.
"Good night, you."
"Good night, Claire. I love you."
"Janet?"
"Yes?"
"I figured out the difference between Cole and Fuckwit. With Fuckwit, I wanted it to work even though everything inside me told me it was all wrong. With Cole, my gut is telling me he's the one, but my brain is looking for reasons for it to fail. I'm terrified of how I feel about him. I'm falling hard and I have a horrible feeling that if I let this whole thing go on too long, I'll be crushed if it doesn't work out."
"In that case, go with your gut, Claire, but keep your eyes open for the truth."
"Will do sensei. G'night."
* * *
At that moment, Cole was back at the ranch, trying to get through as much work as he could as fast as possible. He called the towing company that had Claire's car and got them to take it over to his mechanic to be repaired. Ben came by the office to take over, bringing with him some cinnamon buns that Alicia had made for Claire. Cole went over some instructions for Ben for him to take over while he was out of the office and then hopped in his truck, his heart beating a little faster to see what type of reception he would receive when he got to the hospital.
When he arrived in her room, it was empty. He stood by the window, waiting for Claire to come back in, a pit in his stomach. After their conversation the night before, he wasn't sure if he could regain her trust. Their relationship was so new and it had certainly been tested a number of times in a matter of weeks.
After a few minutes, Claire was wheeled back in by a porter. Cole smiled at her, but his eyes were full of concern. Seeing her so beat up made his knees go weak again. Claire gave him a little grin when she saw him. Her pulse quickened at the sight of him, as it always did. Surely her heart couldn't be wrong about him? Cole walked over and helped her out of the wheelchair and into the bed.
"Thank you," Claire said, her eyes moving to the tray of cinnamon buns on the night table. "Are those for me?"
Cole nodded, "From Alicia. Can I get you one?"
"Only if you'll have one with me," Claire said, "I hate to eat alone."
"I won't turn down that request," Cole said, grabbing two napkins and placing the buns on them. "So, how did the tests go this morning?" Cole asked, his eyes searched hers for some sign of how she was feeling about him.
"Pretty good, I think. They said everything looked the same as yesterday, so that's good," Claire said, carefully placing some of the bun into her mouth.
"I am so glad to hear that, Claire. Nothing is more important than getting you well again."
Claire gave him a thoughtful look, "Cole, about our conversation last night, I really want to believe you. You have been nothing but wonderful to me since I've known you and my gut is telling me to trust you, so I'm going to try really hard to do that. It may not be all that easy for me to do, I hope you understand that."
"I do, Claire. You've been hurt before and when you've been hurt, it changes how you see the world."
"It really does."
Cole stared at her for a moment before he spoke up, "You know, the morning after your accident - before we knew what had happened -Alicia told me you left to meet your ex. I spend a good part of the day thinking you had gotten back together with him. When we found out where you were, I felt awful that I had been willing to believe the worst of you when here you were in the hospital."
"You thought that? Really?" Claire asked, feeling a little hurt.
"Yeah, well, we kind of broke up that evening, then he showed up and you disappeared. I didn't know what to think. This whole thing is still pretty new. Trust is something that takes time to build."
"It is. We might have to slow down a bit," Claire replied, looking down to avoid meeting his eyes.
"Maybe. There's no rush, right?"
"No, there isn't."
They ate in silence for a moment before Cole looked back over at Claire. "You know what, Claire? Even if it is all pretty new, you really are the only woman I want to be with."
Claire's heart swelled at his words, "I feel the same way about you, Cowboy."
That afternoon, things grew more comfortable between them. Claire listened as Cole described what it was like to babysit a bunch of horny twenty-somethings in excruciating detail. Cole was shocked and angry on Claire's behalf when she told him about her dealings with Fuckwit. He held her hand as she fell asleep, then sat beside the bed reading while he waited for her to wake up.
Dr. Olsen came back to see Claire in the late part of the afternoon. He said the test results looked really good and that she could go home the next day, but no working or other physical activity for the next couple of weeks. He gave her a pamphlet on brain injuries with a list of things to look for in case the trauma to her head had further symptoms over the coming days.
Cole slept on the chair beside her again that night, even though Claire tried to persuade him to go home and get a good sleep. "Your back must be killing you. You seriously do NOT need to stay. Come back in the morning."
Cole gave her a serious look, "Three days ago, I thought we were breaking up. Two days ago, I thought you might not live. If you think I'm going anywhere, we should send you for more brain scans. I'm staying right here with you," he kissed her softly and
pressed his cheek to hers.
"Mmmm, careful," Claire said, "Dr. Olsen said no physical activity for at least two weeks."
"Oh, I don't think he meant sex, do you?" Cole said, shaking his head and trying to sound serious. "We could ask him but I'm pretty sure it's okay."
Claire smiled wistfully at the thought of them having sex.
* * *
The next morning, Claire was released from the hospital. Cole drove carefully back to the ranch and set her up in his cabin to finish recovering. He brought over a lot of her clothes, toiletries, her tablet and some books. He made sure she got into bed and brought her a coffee and some lunch.