by Summers, MJ
A porter came over to offer help, which she gladly accepted. "If you could help get my stuff over to that pub on the other side of the arrivals section for now, that would be terrific. I need a beer."
The young man helped get her things tucked into a corner of the pub and waited while she ordered a pint. She gave him a tip and thanked him, sitting down at a small table. She checked the time and realized she had a couple of hours to kill before her brother-in-law Ted would be awake if he had a gig the night before. Her sister Janet would be at work for at least another 6 hours.
Chapter 2
Two Weeks Earlier
Cole stood rooted to the ground. He was in a state of shock that made his skin go clammy and his legs feel like cement. A strange feeling of calm came over him, as though he was just observing what was happening from the outside. Gabriela was telling him he had a son and then she was walking towards him and handing him the baby. She took out her mobile and took a picture of the two together. He wasn't sure what expression he had on his face as the first photo of him with his son was taken.
Cole wasn't aware of the moment that Claire disappeared, but he suddenly realized that she was no longer standing with him. He heard himself say something about getting Gabriela settled into one of the larger guest cabins and he started walking over to the lodge to get the keys. He was carrying a baby in his arms. The little boy touched Cole's cheek, bringing him back into his thoughts again, the feeling of calm leaving him, replaced by panic and a deep sense of rage building inside him.
His mind was racing now. What would this mean for him and Claire? Where did she go just now? How could Gabriela not tell him that she was having his baby? How could she keep this from him for so long? Was this even really his baby?
It was far too much for him to make sense of as they walked into the lodge. He handed the baby back to Gabriela and went behind the front desk for a set of keys. He called Trey's cell phone, forgetting that he had left for college two months earlier. When the voice mail picked up, he remembered and dialled Ben's cell phone. He asked him to come up to the lodge to find the playpen for guests.
When Ben got into the lodge, he stopped short, staring at Gabriela and the baby. She walked over, hugging him briefly and introducing him to his nephew. Ben looked at Cole's face, dewy with sweat and pale under the mud. Cole's eyes were full of panic as he looked at his brother.
Ben said hello to Gabriela and the baby and asked his name for the second time, "Tomas?"
"Yes. Tomas Cole," Gabriela looked cautiously at him, "I know this will be a shock for everyone here. I am sorry that I have kept him a secret for so long."
Ben looked back at Cole who was leaning against the front desk for support.
"I'm sure you had a good reason, Gabriela," Ben said kindly. "You must be tired though. I'll take you over to your cabin and then bring the playpen and your luggage over in a few minutes."
Ben looked over at the several large suitcases sitting on the floor near the front door. "Are these yours?"
"Yes," Gabriela nodded with a look of gratitude for Ben's thoughtfulness, "Thank you Ben."
Ben took the keys from Cole, "You should go have a shower, little bro. You're a mess."
Cole nodded his head, his face expressionless. "Yeah, I am," he mumbled. 'In more ways than one,' he thought.
Cole walked slowly back to his cabin, trying to sort out what just happened and to think about what to do next. He could hear the shower running upstairs when he closed the front door behind him. He walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge on autopilot. He sunk down into a chair, opening the beer and draining the bottle in long gulps. He rested his forehead on his hand as he sat trying to process everything.
A few minutes later, he heard the water shut off. He moved slowly up the stairs, his body feeling like lead. As he reached the top, Claire opened the bathroom door, she had a towel wrapped around her head and was wearing a bathrobe. Her eyes and nose were red from crying.
She started at the sight of him, so pale and wide-eyed with shock, "Cole, I'm sorry, I think I used all the hot water."
"That's okay. It doesn't matter," he replied quietly. Neither of them were ready to face the elephant in the room. "I'm going to shower now anyway."
He moved slowly into the bathroom and shut the door.
Claire collapsed into the armchair, letting her body go limp. Today had gone from the best day of her life to one of the worst in a split second. Only a couple of hours earlier, she and Cole were talking about getting married and were making plans to go to London so he could meet her family. Their lives were so uncomplicated. Now their world was completely upside down and she didn't know how to get her footing again.
She sat in the chair for a long time, waiting for Cole to finish his shower and come out. She finally decided to go downstairs and make something for them to eat. She took the towel off her head and brushed out her hair, then put on some yoga pants, a bra and a long sleeved black t-shirt.
She went down to the kitchen and started cracking eggs into a bowl. She cut up a few mushrooms and chopped some red pepper to go in. She heated up a pan and buttered it, then put the kettle on to make them some tea as the eggs cooked.
A few minutes later, she set down two plates with omelettes, sautéed cherry tomatoes and toast on the kitchen table, then brought over the pot of tea and two mugs. Cole came down the stairs just as she was pouring the tea.
He stared at her for a moment before he walked over. She looked so lovely with her wet hair and no make-up. It made his heart ache to see her sitting there, looking so confused and sad.
"Mmmm, smells great down here," he said, walking over to her. He had a light grey t-shirt and jeans on. He kissed her lightly on the forehead and sat down opposite her. "Thank you sweetie, this looks delicious," he said, picking up his fork.
Claire smiled weakly, "You're welcome."
They both ate slowly. Claire pushed the food around on her plate, only taking a few bites. It was almost impossible for her to swallow the food with the lump that had positioned itself in her throat.
"Is your hip okay where you fell? I imagine you've got some bruises," Cole managed after a few minutes.
"Oh, yeah, a few," Claire replied, "No big deal. I got lucky it wasn't worse."
They seemed to have some unspoken agreement that if neither of them spoke about the baby they could have a few more minutes pretending things hadn't changed. It was no use, however. They were both in shock, all feelings of romance from earlier in the day were long gone by now. Cole finished his dinner and wiped his mouth with his napkin, staring out the window. Claire continued to poke at her food with her fork, eating tiny bites here and there until she gave up and pushed her chair back from the table. She got up and walked over to the large living room window so Cole couldn't see her tearing up.
A moment later, she felt his hands on her shoulders and his lips press to the back of her head. "Christ, Claire, I can't believe this happened," he said quietly.
Claire sighed, her heart breaking, "Me too. I'm in shock. I feel like everything before was just a wonderful dream and that I've woken up to a nightmare."
"Same here," Cole replied, walking over to the couch and collapsing onto it. "I don't know how to feel. I never imagined that I would react with rage to seeing my first child, but I am. I've never been this angry in my life and I also feel like shit for being angry."
Claire walked over and sat next to him, "Oh Cole, of course you should feel angry. She hid the entire thing from you, let you move on with your life for a year and a half and then showed up unannounced with a baby she claims is yours. What else could you feel? You can't expect yourself to be immediately happy about it."
Cole rubbed his face with his hands and then rested his head on the back of the couch, trying to stop the tears that were welling up in his eyes. Claire wrapped him in her arms and brought his head into her shoulder. "It's okay Cole. Let me take care of you right now like you've taken care of me."
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She held him for a long time before he pulled back and took a deep breath. Claire walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels and two shot glasses. She poured each of them a drink and handed one to him. They each did their shot. It burned going down her throat and she remembered how much she hated whiskey. She poured another round anyway.
"What do I do, Claire?" he asked, looking at her.
"Well, what are the options? Maybe the first place to start would be to find out for sure if he's really your son.''
"Claire, he looks exactly like me when I was a baby. Unless she slept with Ben before she left, that's my kid."
"He still might not be. You should insist on a paternity test. It's only fair after what she's done. It's not like you can blindly trust her."
"I know. You're probably right, but it doesn't change the fact that he's a dead ringer for me."
Claire sighed, not wanting to allow his words to register in her brain. "Did she say why she didn't tell you until now?" Claire asked, her voice rising with anger, "It's all so fucked. I just can't understand it at all."
"Honestly I can't remember much of what happened after she said I had a son. I know she said something about needing to wait for his passport and being overwhelmed, but the rest I didn't catch. I'll need to have a long talk with her to find out what the hell she was thinking this whole time. As far as I'm concerned, there's no fucking excuse for what she's done."
"Well, whatever she says, take it with a grain of salt. I don't think you can trust her. The only thing we can trust for sure is that she wants you back."
"Too fucking bad for her. I'm with you and that is never going to change. What she wants is irrelevant to me."
"It's going to become relevant fast if she decides to go back home with your son. She doesn't seem like the type to play second fiddle. She looks more like an 'all or nothing' type."
Cole sighed, "You're right about that. I think tomorrow I'll need to talk to a family lawyer and find out about the steps for gaining parental rights. She holds all the cards right now."
Claire let the gravity of the situation sink in. She was suddenly exhausted from the long day and the shocking news. She knew he was the type of man who would insist on being a real dad to his child. His sense of honour was one of the things she loved most about him. And she knew that it would also be their undoing.
They sat quietly for a few minutes, then Cole took Claire in his arms and hugged her for a long time. "I'm in love with you, Claire, and nothing is going to change that. We're going to figure this out together, okay? We aren't the first people to have to make this situation work. There are ways to do this and we'll find them."
* * *
The night passed slowly. Claire and Cole both laid awake for hours at different points during the night. Cole was awake long before the sun came up, researching paternity and custody law on the internet.
Claire woke at five and came down to the kitchen with her bathrobe on. Cole was at the table working on his laptop. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked exhausted. She started a pot of coffee and walked over to him, leaning over his shoulders to wrap her arms around his chest and give him a kiss on his cheek.
"What have you figured out so far?" she asked.
"Well, right now she can obviously take off if she wants and I can't do a thing about it. There are two ways to gain parental rights in Colorado. Genetic testing or signing an admission of paternity form in front of a notary. The admission form would mean I gain rights a few weeks faster than through the genetic testing method. I can also petition to have my name on his birth certificate if it isn't already. I'm not sure how that works though since the birth certificate was issued in Brazil. It's going to be complicated."
Claire walked over to the counter and poured two coffees, bringing one back to Cole and going back over to make some toast. She knew she should eat something, even though she felt completely nauseous.
"So which way are you leaning?"
"I think I should just sign the admission of paternity form. It's my best shot at keeping him. If I insist on the genetic testing, I'm going to waste valuable time that I don't have. If I do it this way, it will show trust for her and I can get it on the books that I have parental rights. By the time she figures out she can't break us up, it will be too late for her to hold that over my head."
"So you're just going to jump right in and accept that she's telling the truth after everything she's done?" Claire asked. "That's insane, Cole! How can you even consider that? What if he's not your child and you're saddling yourself with the two of them for the rest of your life when it's got nothing to do with you?"
Cole put his hands up, palms open, "Whoa, take a minute to think about what I've just said. I know it's hard to digest, but it's the logical thing to do. We have got to stick together here, Claire, or we are going to be in real trouble."
"Well, you know what else will cause trouble? Trusting her word about anything! I'm telling you this is a bad idea."
"It's easy for you to say," Cole raised his voice a little. "I'm sure you would love it if that baby wasn't mine! Part of me would love it too. I could be rid of Gabriela forever and you and I could pick up where we were yesterday morning. But the reality is that he is my son and I have to fight to keep him here with me. I can't push her away and then never see him again. I just can't. He belongs here with his dad. If I let him grow up with her and her horrible family, what kind of man does that make me, Claire?"
"Well you certainly don't want to be the kind who ruins his own life accepting responsibility for some other man's child!"
"He's not going to ruin my life, Claire! He's an innocent baby for God's sake!"
"Yeah, a baby that comes with a real piece of work for a mother! You CANNOT trust her. Don't be so naive!" Claire stormed up the stairs, leaving her toast in the toaster and her coffee untouched. She got dressed in her running clothes and walked down the stairs and out the door without a word.
Claire didn't see the sunrise lighting the top of the mountain as she ran. It was a cold morning, but she hardly noticed the wind on her face or how her hands were icy as she propelled herself forward with increasing force. She ran as fast as she could hoping to release some of the rage she felt at Gabriela and at Cole. How could he let this happen? How could he have loved such a person before her? She stopped when she reached the end of the path, breathing so hard she felt like she might vomit. She leaned her hands on her knees, allowing herself to cry for a long time, tears spilling on the path. When she was ready, she jogged back toward the cabin, trying to center herself and come up with a plan for how to handle this. When she got back to the cabin, Cole was gone. It was still so early that she figured he must have gone down to the barn or to his office.
By the time she was in the shower, Claire decided the only thing she could do was to play a supportive role for Cole right now. She would try to be logical and think of how she would want him to handle it if the roles were reversed. She would only push him away with her anger, so she needed to find a way to keep those feelings in check. Underneath that anger was fear. If she could remind herself that she was scared, she could stay calm and convey that feeling to Cole instead. Fear wouldn't push him away, it would pull him toward her. He had such a strong protective nature and she needed to trust that he would never want to hurt her.
When Claire was dressed and had dried her hair, she went to find Cole. She found him in the barn with little Tomas in his arms. He was standing in front of Dudley and Tomas was touching the large horse's face and squealing with laughter when Dudley would lick his fingers. Claire watched them for a few minutes, her heart breaking, wishing that he was her little boy instead of Gabriela's.
She walked up beside them, "I'm amazed that he isn't scared. Dudley's so huge compared to him."
"I know, right?" Cole replied, "He's a brave little guy I think."
Claire swallowed to push down the lump in her throat, "I'm sorry about this morning, Cole. I'm rea
lly tired and really, really scared."
Cole gave her a kiss on the cheek, "I'm sorry too. Neither of us slept last night and this whole thing is a shock. We'll have to muddle our way through together, okay?"
The moment was interrupted by a voice behind them.
"Oh there are my boys!" Gabriela walked across the barn as though it was a catwalk, her gaze set on Cole. She wore a tight white turtleneck sweater and fitted jeans tucked into tall brown leather riding boots. Her hair was pulled back into a high pony tail that swung behind her as she strode over to them. Claire felt suddenly very plain in her favourite navy v-neck sweater and her boot cut jeans.
Gabriela acted as though Claire didn't exist. "Thank you, meu amor. To shower without worrying about our son was absolutely delicious!"
Claire cleared her throat, "Good morning, Gabriela. I'm Claire. I don't think we've officially met," she said, extending her hand.