by Summers, MJ
"I don't know if she will, Alicia. In the meantime, I just have to sit and wait for the email to come from the lab to let me know if I'm a father or not."
* * *
Later that afternoon, Cole was out in the barn brushing Dudley. It was cold and he could see his breath as he quietly stroked the large horse's black hair, a ritual that both Dudley and Cole found soothing. Cole's cell phone vibrated in his pocket. He stood still for a moment and took a deep breath, putting the brush down. Reaching into his pocket, he took out his cell phone and swiped the screen to see what the message was. It was from the lab. Cole sat down on the stool in the stall and opened the attachment.
He scanned the report quickly, finding the paragraph he was looking for:
"Cole Mitchell is excluded as the biological father of Tomas Cole Ferriera. This means that Cole Mitchell cannot be the father of Tomas Cole Ferriera because the analysis shows that they do not share a paternity relationship.
Trey Johnson is not excluded as the biological father of Tomas Cole Ferriera. This means that Trey Johnson is considered to be the father of Tomas Cole Ferriera because the analysis shows that they do share a paternity relationship."
He let out a long exhale, relieved to know the truth at last. He sat for a long time staring at the words and reliving the past six weeks in his mind. He realized how many dreams of fatherhood had already crept into his brain - teaching him to ride a horse, taking him fishing and camping, playing catch. None of these things would happen now and it hurt like hell to lose that.
* * *
Gabriela sat on the couch with her laptop on the coffee table, watching Tomas play with some blocks. She was completely numb. She had read the results over and over in the last hour, letting the tears flow. Whatever flicker of hope she had that she and Cole would spend their lives together had now been extinguished. She had gambled and lost. The father of her child was little more than a boy himself, someone she had never loved and never would. She placed the computer on her lap and began searching for a flight back home. If she was very lucky, she would be home in time for Christmas with her family. She doubted Trey would fight her on it.
* * *
Trey sat alone at a table in the back corner of a bar. He had been at the gym when the email came. He got showered and dressed, then walked across the street to have a stiff drink. He was a father. He would forever have a reminder of how he had betrayed his cousin. Trey had no idea what to do. He had no money and wouldn't be welcome to work at the ranch anymore. He doubted he would be able to finish school now. A feeling of nausea washed over him as he stared at the results again on the screen of his phone. After a half an hour, he put some cash on the table and walked out, leaving his drink untouched.
* * *
Cole walked back to his office. He sat at his desk and forwarded the email from the DNA testing lab to his lawyer, along with instructions to file to have him removed as the legal father of Tomas. He sat staring out the window, thinking about Claire. He wouldn't be able to go anywhere until after the Christmas holidays were over. They were fully booked over the next two weeks and he couldn't leave Ben and Alicia right now, in case she had the baby early.
He looked at the clock to see what time it was. It would be the middle of the night for Claire. He wanted so badly to call her and tell her the news. They could start over and this time, nothing and no one would be able to get in their way.
He locked up his office and walked over to Gabriela's cabin. He wasn't going to just disappear from Tomas's life. This time when he reached the door, he knocked. As Gabriela opened it, Cole was taken by surprise to see that Trey was already there, playing with Tomas. His heart dropped as he walked in.
"I guess we have a few things to sort out," Cole said, taking off his boots and coat.
Gabriela nodded and sat down on the couch. Trey looked up at Cole with fear behind his eyes as he watched Cole cross the room and sit on an armchair. Tomas crawled over and used Cole's pant leg to pull himself up. He lifted the baby onto his lap and gave him a little peck on the head.
Cole spoke first, "I've emailed my lawyer to have me removed as Tomas's legal father. Trey, I can send you his info so you can go through him to have yourself added if that's what you want to do. He said it would be quicker and cheaper for you than starting over with a new lawyer."
"Thank you, Cole," Trey said quietly, "I'd appreciate that."
"I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it to make sure you don't try to skip out on Tomas."
Trey nodded, saying nothing.
Gabriela looked from one man to the other, "I have decided to go back to Brazil. I came here looking to make a family for him, but it isn't going to happen. Trey, you need to go to school, not raise a family right now. Maybe you can come and see him sometime soon."
Trey nodded his head, "Okay. You're probably better off with your family than me. I'd like to send you some money when I can. It won't be much for now, but eventually it might be something. I do want him to know me though, Gabriela. Can we manage that?"
Gabriela looked at him, relieved that he wasn't going to make it difficult for her to go home. "Yes, Trey. Definitely he will know you. You can spend as much time as you like here in the next two days before we will leave. It will actually help me get all my preparations done." She gave him a sad little smile, feeling sorry for him.
"Well, that settles it then," Cole said, standing up and pressing his face to Tomas's little cheek, feeling it's softness against his skin.
"Here buddy, go see your dad," Cole said, handing Tomas to Trey. Trey held him awkwardly as he squirmed around in his arms.
Gabriela watched the scene unfold, her dreams dissolving in an instant, "How can you not yell at us, Cole?"
He looked over at her, "What would the point be? You both know what you've done. I just hope you can raise him to have higher morals than either of you have. Do that for me." He put his boots and coat on and walked out the door with a lump in his throat.
He walked straight over to Ben and Alicia's cabin to give them the news. The pair sat quietly while he told them what had just unfolded. He blinked back tears for a moment and sighed, looking over at Alicia's tummy, "Well, at least I'll have a little niece or nephew to spoil soon."
"You're going to be a terrific father someday, Cole," Alicia said. "And it will be with the right woman, which will make the whole thing that much better."
Ben handed him his laptop, "Speaking of the right woman, let's find you the next flight to London so you can go get Claire."
"There is no way I can go right now. We're going to have a full house here for the next two weeks."
"Like hell you can't," Ben said. "You think you're the only one who knows how to run this place? I may not like it in the office, but I know what to do when I'm in there. Dad and Mom are here as well and if you remember, they ran this place when you and I were still in diapers."
"You gotta go, Cole. Now. Don't leave it another minute," Alicia said, handing him a piece of paper. "This is the address for Claire's sister. I emailed her for it so I could send her tax forms when they come. Go get her."
"What if your baby comes early? I need to stay here at least until after the Christmas holiday is over," Cole said, looking at her doubtfully.
"We'll be just fine, Cole. The doctor said there is no way this baby is coming for at least another two weeks. Gabriela's wasted enough of your time. Now get your head out of your ass and go get her already," Ben said.
Cole smiled at him, "Okay," he said opening the computer and turning it on. "Let's find me a flight."
Chapter 16
In London, Claire was sitting up in bed. It was 2 am and she had just woken up from another bad dream. She turned on the lamp and sighed, mentally calculating the time of day back in Colorado. It was early evening there and she imagined that Cole and Gabriela were probably together, maybe snuggled up on the couch watching a show or making love. Claire tried to shake the thought out of her head. Cole was in her past as much as
Antonio was. Neither would be a part of her life again and she had to find a way to forget him as he had done her.
She needed to focus on her future. Claire thought about the new year; it would be a fresh start for her. This past year had completely depleted her emotional energy - finding out that Antonio was cheating, starting over in Colorado, falling in love with Cole only to lose him, ending up heartbroken in another new place. Her heart and mind were exhausted from all of it. She needed something new to fill her with hope and purpose again.
She wanted the next year to be a chance for her to develop her independence. Finding a commercial property she could lease was proving difficult. She had seen several strong possibilities but none of them were exactly what she wanted. The reality that Claire didn't want to admit to was that nothing would be perfect if Cole wasn't there to walk through the door and taste what she was preparing, smile at her or wrap her in his arms. She needed to find a way to get excited about her life without him and she had no clue as to how she would do that.
* * *
December 25th
Cole boarded the early morning flight with nervous knots in his stomach. By the time he would arrive in London, it would be late evening local time. He hadn't let her know he was coming but planned to get a cab straight over to her sister's house. He felt horrified every time the thought crossed his mind that she might have fallen for someone else already. Logically, he knew it wasn't likely, but he couldn't help considering the possibility.
He tried in vain to watch the movies offered, feeling too anxious to take in any of it. He fidgeted, staring out the window and checking his watch every ten minutes. 'Come on, come on,' he thought to himself. He finally saw the lights of London as they descended. The city seemed to go on forever, brightly lit with reflections glowing off the river. He had never seen a sight more thrilling. This city held his Claire and he was about to go find her. He could only hope she would be willing to give him a second chance.
He got his backpack and left the airport, heading straight outside to find a cab. As they drove along the streets of London, he barely took in the sights, hoping he would find Claire at home and wondering what to say to her. The house was completely dark when he got there, except for the outside light.
"You want to wait here or shall I drive you somewhere else?" the cabbie offered.
"I'll wait here."
"You sure? There are no buses running and the Tube is shut down for the night. It'll be hard to get another cab from here tonight."
"Thank you, but I want to wait here."
"Grand romantic gesture?"
"Something like that," Cole nodded.
"Good luck with that, mate. I hope it works."
Cole paid the driver for the fare and took his backpack out of the trunk. He walked up the steps of the house and rang the bell, just in case someone was home but it looked dark from the outside. After a moment, he knocked and then had a seat on the cold steps to wait.
* * *
Claire had been invited to Christmas dinner at friends of Ted and Janet's. She sat quietly on an armchair by the living room window, where the party had gathered after their meal. She felt very out of place in a house full of couples, several of whom were lawyers or doctors. On top of that, her feet were freezing. She had worn nude tights and heels with her winter grey merino wool knee length dress. She hated having cold feet. Between that and not knowing anyone other than her sister and Ted, she wished she was snuggled up under a blanket on the couch back at their place watching movies. This felt nothing like Christmas to her. There was nothing peaceful or cozy about this day for her. She sipped at her wine, watching the clock and wondering what time they could leave.
Ted walked over to her and sat on the chair next to her, leaning over and speaking in a low tone, "Here's a fun fact you may not know - this party has been nominated for the Guinness Book of World Records in the dullest evening category."
Claire laughed quietly, covering her mouth with her hand, "I thought I was the only one who felt that way."
"Are you kidding me? If I hear one more of these pretentious snobs go on about his portfolio, I'm going to smash them in the face with that disgusting Christmas cake."
Claire tried to stifle another laugh, "It was gross, wasn't it? When do you think we can go home?"
Ted looked at the clock on the fireplace mantle, "I don't think we have to stay much longer. I'll try to give Janet the signal."
"Perfect. I just want to curl up on the couch and watch Elf."
Chapter 17
An hour later, the three were pulling up to the townhouse. Claire was sitting in the backseat of Ted's car half asleep. She heard Janet's voice say "Holy crap."
Janet looked back at her from the passenger seat, seeing her sister's eyes closed, "Claire, honey, I think Santa left something for you on the steps. Or maybe me. Dear God, I hope that's for me."
Claire opened her eyes and looked at Janet, "What?"
She looked out the window and saw Cole sitting on the top step looking like the sexiest man on the planet in his jeans and a dark grey wool overcoat.
Janet handed her a mint, "I take it that's your cowboy?"
Claire was speechless as she nodded and took the mint. She sat staring at him through the window of the car in complete shock. Cole got up and walked down the steps with a look of uncertainty as he peered through the glass at Claire.
"Claire, I think Janet and I are going to go for our traditional Christmas evening drive around London for the next hour or so," Ted said grinning at her.
"Is that okay with you, Claire? Or do you want us to stay?" Janet asked protectively.
"Umm hmm," she nodded keeping her eyes on Cole, "Have fun."
"Claire, get out of the car," Ted said, "There's a dreamy guy standing there waiting to talk to you. If you don't get out, my wife is going to."
"Right," she said, nodding. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she wrapped her red pashmina around her shoulders and opened the door. She stepped out and gazed at Cole, who was on the opposite side of the car to her, his face full of emotion.
Janet unrolled the window and said, "Welcome to London, Cole. We have to run, but we'll catch you later."
"Okay, nice to meet you, Janet," Cole replied without taking his eyes off Claire.
Ted slowly pulled the car away and down the empty street, leaving a large space between them. Snow began to drift gently down from the sky, as if it had been cued by a movie director.
Claire stood in the middle of the street, not completely sure that this moment was really happening. She had dreamed of Cole appearing out of nowhere since she had gotten in the cab at the ranch several weeks ago. She had convinced herself it was never going to happen and yet now that he was here, she wasn't sure how to feel. Her first instinct was to run to him and jump into his arms, but something was holding her back. Feelings of fear, anger and guilt muddied the desire that she felt for him.
Cole stood on the sidewalk searching her eyes for some sign that she wanted him there. The past days of planning and travelling and then waiting all evening on the step had been like a roller coaster, filled with moments of absolute exhilaration that they would be together soon to complete uncertainty that she would even want to see him. His heart ached just looking at her, so beautiful and delicate in her dress and red wrap. She looked too skinny to him, her cheeks too defined - a sign of the toll these past weeks had taken on her.
He pulled something out of his coat pocket, "You left your gloves in the barn." He held his hand out to her but stood still, waiting for her reaction.
Claire gave him a faint smile and looked at the gloves in his hand, "It's a good thing you brought them. My hands have been really cold this whole time."
"I was worried about that. I realized I better get them to you as soon as I found them."
Claire laughed a little and then gave him a sceptical look, still not sure what to do.
Cole looked into her eyes, "It's over, Claire. Gabriela
's gone. You were right about everything. Tomas isn't my son. I should have listened to you in the first place instead of being such a jackass and trying to do things my own way."
He paused, and looked down at her gloves in his hand. When he looked back up, his eyes were glistening with tears. "The things is....the thing is I need you, Claire. My life doesn't mean anything without you. I don't want any of it, not even the ranch if you aren't there with me..."
Claire's eyes welled up, "Really? But Cole, you moved on. You sent me that text."
He sighed, "I sent that to you on purpose to piss you off. I thought it would help you to forget about me. I never started up with Gabriela. How could I when I won't ever stop loving you? I came here hoping that you'll give us another shot. But this time, it has to be forever, Claire."
Claire nodded, trying to blink away the tears, "I think I can do that. Yeah. In fact, I'm pretty sure about it," She took a few steps toward him.