It took Kathryn and Jayden two days to drive from Florida to Austin, Texas, stopping only for gas, food, and an overnight stay in a hotel. Jayden slunk in his seat most of the way, listening to his music.
Arriving on the outskirts of the city in the early afternoon, Kathryn nudged Jayden awake. “Come on Jay, be interested. We’re almost there.”
Jayden pulled himself up and removed his earphones. They were still on the freeway, but in the distance, high-rise buildings poked their heads out through a haze of smog, as if they were floating in thin air. Cars whizzed by on either side as Mum slowed a little.
“Know where we’re going?” Jayden turned his head.
Sitting forward in her seat, Kathryn had a tight grip on the steering wheel, the veins in her neck as taut as the strings on his guitar which for some strange reason she hadn’t sold. She still wore her large sunglasses, but her whole demeanor was strained.
“Following the navigator, Jay. Should be there in ten minutes.”
‘There’ turned out to be a nondescript apartment building in the middle of suburbia. Nowhere near the water, and nothing like the condo they’d just left.
“How did you find this place?” Jayden’s nose wrinkled as he opened the door to the second floor apartment not much bigger than the bedroom he’d just left.
“On the Internet.” Kathryn pushed past him. She drew in a slow breath as her gaze travelled around the room. “It’ll do.” Her mouth was set in a hard line.
“Why did we have to move, Mum?”
Kathryn’s lower lip quivered, her eyes misting over. “Let’s just say that Luke didn’t keep his word.”
As much as Jayden didn’t want to be here, he felt sorry for her and softened his tone. “Guess it’ll be okay.”
Kathryn held out her hand to him and smiled through her tears. “Thank you, Jay.”
Jayden shrugged. Whatever. He sighed as he carried his bag to the smaller of the two bedrooms and opened the window to let some fresh air in. Instead of the sound of boats and jet skis and children splashing in water, the drone of traffic reached his ears. Somewhere in the distance a siren wailed. Mum had told him that Austin was a great place to live, but if he was honest, he just wanted to go home to Dad and Tessa. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he began unpacking. It was all such a mess. And what was worse—he had to start another new school.
Chapter 12
On Jayden’s first day at Hillview High, a boy called Roger befriended him. Roger lived in the same apartment building and was in the same class for most subjects. They caught the bus to school together each morning and back each afternoon. Jayden probably wouldn’t have chosen Roger as his best friend if he’d had a choice. He was a bit too cool for Jayden’s liking, but still, it was better to have a friend like Roger than none at all.
Kathryn began her job but often worked late, some nights not arriving home until after Jayden was in bed. Sometimes she woke him when she stumbled in well after midnight. After several weeks, Jayden had had enough and sat up and waited for her. He fell asleep on the couch, but was awakened by the key turning in the door. He opened his eyes and watched her come in.
Kathryn swayed on her feet as she made her way towards the couch. She dropped her purse on the coffee table and kicked off her shoes, and was about to flop onto the couch on top of him.
Jayden moved out of the way quickly. She jumped back, startled, nearly losing her footing.
“What are you doing up?” Her voice was slurred.
“Waiting for you to come home.” Jayden’s eyes narrowed as he took in her bloodshot eyes and disheveled appearance.
"You should be in bed." Kathryn wobbled on her feet.
“And you should have been home hours ago.” Jayden’s chest heaved. So this is what she does every night.
“I was working.”
“Until one in the morning?”
“I was with clients. Let me sit.”
Jayden shifted and made space for her. She flopped onto the couch and leaned her head on his shoulder.
“Be a good boy and get me a drink.” She hiccupped.
Jayden lifted her head off his shoulder. “No way. You’ve had enough to drink already.”
“Don’t be a spoil-sport.” She reached up, draping her hand over his head.
“I’m going to bed, and so should you.” He tried to stand. She pulled him back. He glared at her. “When are you going to stop doing this to yourself, Mum? You were late for work yesterday because you were out drinking the night before. If you keep this up, you're going to be out of a job, and then what are we going to do?"
Kathryn sighed wearily and patted his hand. "Stop worrying, Jay. I'm not going to lose my job." She hiccupped again.
"You will if you keep drinking." Jayden crossed his arms, his glare holding firm.
"Go to bed, Jay." Kathryn rubbed her forehead. "I have a headache. I need to sleep it off." She pulled herself up and held on to the furniture to steady herself as she moved past him and stumbled down the darkened hallway and into her bedroom.
Jayden blinked back tears. What would happen if Mum did lose her job and their money ran out? Already things were tight and often the pantry and fridge were next to empty. Back home, he’d never even paid a thought to shopping for groceries or paying bills or having a place to stay. He’d never been concerned about Dad or Tessa losing their jobs. He’d just taken it all for granted. If he could bring himself to admit to Dad and Tessa that he’d made a mistake, maybe he could go home. But how could he leave Mum on her own now? Jayden sighed heavily as he plodded down the hallway to his bed.
Several hours later, Jayden woke to his alarm buzzing in his ear. It didn’t seem as if he’d slept at all, but he must have had at least a few hours. He dragged himself out of bed and knocked on Mum’s door. She didn’t stir. Why should he have to wake her anyway? She was his mother, and she should be the one waking him, not the other way around. He drew a breath and walked the few steps to the bathroom.
Once showered and dressed, Jayden opened the fridge. An open bottle of wine, some butter, a milk bottle with only a tiny bit of milk left, and a few bits of stale bread were the only contents. He closed it. He already knew what was in the pantry, so didn’t even bother looking. He’d go without, again.
Roger was standing at the bus stop eating a box of breakfast tarts when Jayden arrived a few minutes later, his bag slung over his shoulder.
“Hey Jayden. Want some?” Roger held the box out.
"I won’t say no. Thanks.”
“No problem. Hey, d’you want to come over for dinner again tonight? We're having spaghetti and meatballs." Roger stuffed the last piece of his breakfast tart into his mouth, and then squashed the box under his foot.
“As long as that’s cool with your mum.” Jayden pulled open a tart and held it in front of his mouth. “Cause my mum won’t mind.” She probably won’t even be home.
“You mean my mom?” Sometimes Roger teased him about his accent, but jokingly. He was never mean. “Yeah, she's cool.” Roger cocked his head. “So what did you think? You don't look any different. Do you feel different?”
Jayden popped the tart into his mouth and then opened his bag, pulling out a Ziploc sandwich bag containing several pills from an inner compartment. "I didn't take any."
"Why not?" Roger drew his eyebrows together.
Jayden shrugged. "Just don’t see the need, that’s all. I told you that.”
"Suit yourself, but you know what the other guys are going to say. You won’t even have a drink. You need to loosen up, man.”
Jayden's shoulders slumped. How much longer could he stay strong? Taking drugs and getting drunk was wrong, he knew that. He couldn’t forget the time he’d overdosed and was rushed to hospital. No way did he want that to happen again. His Sunday School teacher at Fellowship Bible Church had talked a lot about the difference between right and wrong, and how important it was for young people to stand up for what was right, even when their peers pressured them to d
o the opposite. Even though he hadn’t been to church of late, every time Jayden felt pressured to join in with his new friends, a voice in his head told him not to. But he certainly wasn't about to tell Roger that.
Jayden handed the pills back to Roger. "Whenever my mum drinks, she acts weird. I don't want to turn out like that."
"That's probably because your mom drinks too much. You don't have to get drunk. You can just drink a little. C'mon, Jay, just a taste isn’t going to hurt you."
Jayden shrugged, breathing a sigh of relief as the long, yellow bus turned into the street. Why did he have to have conversations like this with Roger? And why couldn’t he just fit in without being pressured? It wasn’t right.
Roger climbed into the bus behind Jayden. "There's a pool party at Britney's house tomorrow. You should come."
Jayden’s face sagged. Just as well Roger couldn’t see it. He probably couldn’t get out of going, having made excuses for every party he’d been invited to since arriving. If he didn’t go, he’d really be on the outs with Roger. And he didn’t want that. Taking his seat, Jayden lifted his gaze and forced a smile. “Okay Rog, sounds great. I’ll be there.”
Chapter 13
The pool party was in full swing when Jayden arrived at Britney's expansive, two-story house the following evening. Music blasted from a portable stereo system, and about a hundred young people, spread between the patio and the yard, danced or stood in groups chatting.
"Glad you made it." Roger clapped Jayden on the back and handed him a red plastic cup.
Jayden sniffed the semi-clear liquid, jerking his head back as the whiff of alcohol reached his nose. Roger and some other boys from his class stood watching. Jayden gulped. He didn’t want to do this, but he took a sip just to keep face. The liquid had a tang, stinging his taste buds and burning his throat as it slid down. He spat most of it back into the cup.
Roger laughed and clapped him on the back. "You'll get used to it, Jay. Take it slowly."
Jayden took another sip. This time it went down easier.
A girl wearing very short hot pants ran by and linked arms with Roger, dragging him away.
Roger looked back over his shoulder, spilling the drink he was carrying in his free hand. “Sorry Jay, I’ll be back soon.”
Left to himself, Jayden wandered across to the pool area. A game of volleyball was in full swing.
"The girls are totally winning this." A blonde in a hot pink swimsuit stood beside him.
Jayden couldn’t help but admire her curves. And her long legs. And her sparkling blue eyes. He gulped. “You must be Britney.”
Britney’s eyes twinkled as she flashed him a brilliant smile. "I am. And you must be Jayden. Roger told me about you. You have that neat accent thing going on. Are you going to finish that?" She pointed to the cup in his hand.
"No, don’t think so."
Britney took the cup and sculled the remainder.
Jayden’s eyes widened. How did she do that?
“What?” Britney gave him a quizzical look and then laughed.
"Nothing.” Jayden struggled for something to say. He glanced around. “You…you have a nice place." That sounds so pathetic.
"Why, thank you! My parents are gone for the week, so I pretty much have it to myself.” Her smile morphed into a coy grin. “What are you looking at me like that for, Jayden? Do you think I'm attractive?" Her voice was soft and gooey like honey. She placed her hand on her hip and leaned her chest towards him.
Jayden gulped. He was way out of his league. "I… I guess so."
"Wanna see inside the house?” Britney grabbed his arm. "Some of the girls are having some serious fun in there."
Jayden’s pulse raced. I can imagine what kind of fun they’re having. He tried to ply her hand off his arm, but Britney was stronger than she looked and dragged him along.
“Can’t we stay out here? Play some volleyball?”
“No, don’t be a spoil-sport, Jayden.”
Once inside, it took a few moments for Jayden’s eyes to adjust. The inside of the house seemed spacious—more spacious than any house he’d ever lived in, and way bigger than the dingy apartment he was now living in with Mum. The room was hazy, with the familiar odor of pot lingering in the air. Ghostly figures moved about. And to his right, a couple were making out on a couch. Enough. He had to get out of here.
Britney leaned in closer and plucked at his shirt. "Let’s go to my bedroom. It's less crowded there."
Sweat broke out on Jayden’s forehead. He jerked his arm away. "No Britney. I have to go." Jayden’s head spun as he retraced his steps to the back door.
"Jayden, what's wrong?" Britney followed after him, grabbing his arm.
He shrugged her off. "Must have been something I ate. I don’t feel too well." It wasn't true, but it was the best excuse he could come up with quickly.
Not waiting to say goodbye to Roger, Jayden snuck out through a side gate and slowly made his way back on foot to his apartment. His eyes blurred with tears as the music faded into the distance. Why couldn’t he just fit in? He so desperately wanted to be accepted, but not if it meant doing what was wrong.
It took half an hour, and he hardly noticed the other people wandering the streets. Reaching the apartment, Jayden stopped on the front stoop and looked up at the sky. A full moon shone brightly, making it almost like daytime. He sat on the step and hung his head between his hands.
If only he had someone to talk to, someone who could help him sort through his mixed up emotions and give him advice. But there was no-one. Talking to Mum would be a waste of time. She didn’t have it together. He’d left it too long to talk with Dad. Neil was about the only one, but it seemed Neil had made new friends and wasn’t talking much these days. What about God? The quiet voice inside Jayden’s head made his heart race. Dad had once told him it didn't matter where he was or how he felt, if he prayed hard enough, God would always hear him and answer him. Maybe he should give it a try.
Jayden lifted his gaze to the sky and gulped. "Dear God … " his shoulders slumped. The words just wouldn't come. Besides, why would God listen to him? He’d never really prayed before. He didn’t even like going to church. He didn't have a personal connection with God like Ben and Tessa had. He’d run away from home, and now he was being tempted to drink and do drugs. No, God doesn't want to hear from me, much less answer me. Dropping his head again, Jayden closed his eyes and let out a defeated sigh. When he began to shiver, he dragged himself up and made his way to bed. He didn’t even notice if Kathryn was home.
When he awoke the next morning, she was in the laundry room folding towels. Jayden raised his eyebrows. She mustn’t have gone out drinking last night. Amazing. He yawned as he stood just outside the door.
"Good morning, Jay. About time you got out of bed.” She paused, tilting her head. “What's up?"
Jayden looked up in surprise. How did she know he had something on his mind? Maybe he could try talking to her after all. Couldn’t hurt. He entered the laundry room and turned over an empty clothesbasket and sat on it. "Nothing much really." He nibbled his fingernails and glanced at her. "I was just wondering…” He cocked his head. “What do you believe in, Mum?"
Kathryn’s eyes shot open. "What do you mean?"
"Like, do you believe in God, or prayer? And what do you think life’s all about?"
Kathryn shrugged, her face blank. She stared down at the purple towel in her hands. "I used to go to church years ago, but I never got much out of it. As for God,” she shrugged, “I just don't know.” She started folding the towel. “I mean, I sure do hope that some greater being is out there watching over the world and making sure nothing gets too messed up, but I think we're pretty much on our own. We live. We learn. It's really up to us to figure out life, and I certainly haven't figured it all out yet, so -" Her voice trailed off as she shrugged again and picked up another towel.
That was a lot of help. Jayden’s gaze clouded over as he rubbed his forehead and walked into the k
itchen. Once again, his thoughts turned to Dad and Tessa. They knew who they believed in and they knew who they were. They went to church, and always seemed to get something worthwhile out of it. Their lives held meaning, even when things didn't quite turn out the way they wanted. Even though Dad had been strict, too strict, and sometimes Tessa had been too soft, they loved him. And they still love me. A heavy weight grew in Jayden’s stomach. It had been a big mistake leaving them to be with Mum. It might not be true, but she really did seem to be using him to fill a hole in her life.
Chapter 14
"Hey Jayden, did you hear?" Roger ambled down the hallway chewing gum. Jayden closed the door of the apartment and fell into step.
"Hear what?" Jayden stifled a yawn. Last night he’d emptied all of Kathryn’s bottles down the sink in a desperate effort to stop her drinking, but it had backfired. She’d caught him red-handed and yelled at him and they’d argued long into the night. She stomped out sometime around three to buy more alcohol and hadn’t returned. Something must have happened to her. But he almost didn’t care. He probably should have gone looking just in case, but then he’d be late for school. Besides, where would he start looking?
"The bus drivers all went on strike."
Jayden cocked his head, drawing his eyebrows together. "Strike? Why?
"Dunno, guess they want more money. They're off for the whole week, which means no bus to school."
Jayden shrugged. "No big deal. I don't mind walking."
When they reached the front of the apartment complex, rain pelted down on the double glass doors. The sound was deafening.
"Still don't mind walking?" Roger raised his eyebrows and shot Jayden a teasing grin. "It's a good thing Mom agreed to drive me. You can ride with us, but you'll have to get your mom to pick you up. I’ve got a dentist visit this afternoon." Roger pulled the hood of his jacket over his head and darted outside to his mom's waiting car. Jayden followed suit.
Tormented Love: A Christian Romance (The True Love Series Book 3) Page 7