He straightened and nodded to it. "Are you Christian?"
Angela’s eyes lit up. “Yes! Are you?”
Jayden took a slow breath. If he was truthful, he’d have to answer ‘no’. But something had definitely been moving inside him of late, and he’d been wondering if it was God. She was waiting for an answer. He had to say something. “Kind of.”
Angela gave him a quizzical look. “What do you mean, kind of? You can’t be a ‘kind of’ Christian.”
“Dunno.” Jayden shrugged. “Maybe we can talk about it sometime.”
“I’d love to, Jayden.” Her face lit up as she gave him another smile. “‘See you Sunday, oh, and thanks for your help.”
“My pleasure.” Jayden’s heart raced as he walked back to the store. He couldn’t believe it—he had a date with a pretty girl called Angela.
The rest of the week passed ever so slowly. Sunday seemed to be so far away, but finally it came. Jayden finished work at one o’clock, and quickly rode back to his apartment and showered. He slipped on the new pair of jeans and a white t-shirt he’d bought for the occasion. Kind of boring, but Dad always looked smart dressed like that, and besides, he felt comfortable in them. He stood in front of the mirror and combed his hair, now much shorter because of the job. He looked pretty good for his first date. What would Dad and Tessa think if they could see him now? No time for regrets, Angela would be waiting for him.
The ice-cream shop was within walking distance, so he chose to walk instead of riding. It was a quaint blue building that sold handmade ice cream in a variety of flavors. Angela was already there, sitting outside at a table underneath an umbrella. She lifted her hand and waved. All of a sudden, Jayden’s heart thumped and his hands went clammy. He took a deep breath and joined her at the table. Angela had clear green eyes that seemed to sparkle all the time. Her red hair was loose and bounced on her shoulders. She was beautiful, but he got the feeling that unlike Britney, she wasn’t even aware of it.
“Sorry I’m late.” He sounded nervous.
Angela tilted her head. “You’re not late, Jayden. I was early. Mom and Dad dropped me in town after lunch.”
“Oh.”
“I’m going to have Caramel Honeycomb. What would you like?”
Jayden quickly glanced at the board. “I’ll have Berry. But let me get them.” He rose and joined the line. His heart still hadn’t stopped thumping. He placed the order and then carried them back to the table.
“So, tell me the story of why you’re here.” Angela looked at him over her cone, her alluring green eyes fixed on.
Jayden took a breath and began the story of how he’d ended up in Hunters Hollow. Angela’s forehead wrinkled as he told her about Kathryn and Buck, and a concerned expression grew on her face.
“Do you miss your Dad and stepmom? I know I would.” She looked down at her hands and inspected her fingernails before lifting her gaze to his. “I don't like everything about my parents, but I don't think I could leave them and not have any contact with them. That would be pretty hard."
Jayden grimaced, and swallowed the lump in his throat. Telling Angela the whole story had stirred up feelings inside of him; he didn’t know if he could talk anymore without breaking down. And he didn’t want to do that in front of Angela, especially on their first date. Truth was, he’d been thinking more about calling Dad of late, since he’d moved away from Kathryn and Buck. He did miss both him and Tessa, but did he want to admit that to Angela? Maybe not yet. He drew in a steadying breath, releasing it slowly. "I would like to see them again, I just don't know when."
Angela gave him a smile that said she understood.
"I told my parents about you, Jayden. They said they’d like to meet you. Would you like to come to dinner sometime this week?”
Jayden’s eyes widened. Was she just taking pity on him? He held her gaze. No, he didn’t think so. But was he ready to meet her parents? He was about to say no, but then changed his mind. He liked Angela. There was something genuine about her, and he got the feeling her folks would be the same, as long as they didn’t judge him or try preaching at him. "Yeah, sure, that would be great. Thank you."
She smiled at him again. “How about Wednesday?”
“Works for me.”
“We’ll pick you up.”
“Thanks, but I can ride.”
She chuckled. “Suit yourself, it’s a long way.”
Jayden straightened. “I’m trying to get fit.” And now he really had a reason to.
Any concerns that Jayden had of being judged by Angela’s parents quickly dissipated the instant he stepped into their house. They welcomed him warmly, and before long, he found himself opening up to them. They reminded him of Telford and Eleanor, even though they were a few years younger than Tessa's parents, and Jayden felt he could trust their hospitable and sincere personalities. After Mrs. Morgan’s roast dinner had been served, he told them the same story he’d told Angela, but this time included how he felt about it all. It was a relief to finally be able to talk with someone about the choices he’d made, and he was glad to at last share his feelings with people who truly wanted to listen and understand.
"I really miss my dad and Tessa a lot, but it was my decision to leave." Jayden paused, taking a breath. "Sometimes I wish I’d never gone, but I can't go back and change the past. But now I feel responsible for my mum, like I need to keep an eye on her, or at least be close by if she needs me. Besides, it’d be difficult to go home and face my dad and Tessa now."
"It's always difficult to say sorry," Mrs. Morgan said as she put her knife and fork down. "But we always feel better once we do."
Jayden remained silent, his mind spinning. Was he just making excuses for not going back?
Mr. Morgan leaned forward. "It's true you can't go back and have a new beginning, but you can start now and have a good ending." Mr. Morgan paused, holding Jayden’s gaze. “Why don’t you start by writing them a letter?”
A sense of relief flowed through Jayden. He’d thought Mr. Morgan was going to start preaching at him. But a letter? Yes, he could do that.
On his ride home later that night, Jayden stopped at about the halfway mark and climbed off his bike. The moon was already high in the sky, just a half-moon, but still enough to shed light on the valley. Somewhere over there, up one of the smaller, hidden valleys, sat the cottage where Mum and Buck still lived. He’d seen her several times on the street, and each time he couldn’t believe she was the same person who’d whisked him away in that fancy private jet less than a year ago. She no longer looked like a model; her designer wardrobe had been replaced with charity store clothes, and her once shining blonde hair was now dull and tinged with grey. But he still couldn’t leave her. Not yet.
He gazed up at the stars, and began to wonder what life was all about. Could he believe in the God he’d learned about in Sunday School, the God he’d been told had created all of this? The God that Dad and Tessa believed in, that Angela and her parents believed in, or was there no God and it had just all happened like he’d been taught in school? Did God really exist, or was he just a crutch? Jayden couldn’t deny the feeling he’d had in that church that God was speaking to him, but maybe it had just been his imagination, his need at the time. He let out a huge sigh. Too much to think about tonight. He needed to go home and start that letter. He stood up and climbed back onto his bike and rode the remainder of the distance, composing it in his mind. Dear Dad and Tessa…
Chapter 24
When Tessa began struggling with all day sickness a few weeks later, she scarcely dared let herself believe she could be pregnant again, but the signs were obvious. She tried to hide it the best she could, but waves of nausea swept over her as she taught the children in the afternoons, a feeling made worse by the persistent humidity. When accompanying Penny on one of her medical rounds, she had to excuse herself and hurry outside to find a private place to vomit.
"Tess, are you okay?" Ben asked one evening during dinner. For the seco
nd day in a row, she was toying with her food and only managed to eat a few spoonfuls. "You’re not ill, are you?"
"No, I just haven't been very hungry lately. I think it may be the heat." She hadn’t wanted to get his hopes up, perhaps only to find out later it wasn't true after-all. But maybe she should tell him. She was almost one hundred percent sure.
He tilted his head, narrowing his eyes. "Really, Tess?”
She pushed her hair off her face and lifted her gaze. Her heart raced. She needed to tell him. She took his hand and looked into his eyes, a coy grin growing on her face. "Ben,” she paused, “I think I'm pregnant."
Ben’s eyes lit up. He jumped up and threw his arms around her, hugging her tightly, laughing and crying at once.
"I think," Tessa said in a happy whisper. "I’m not completely sure."
"Tess, this is wonderful news. The best. We have to let everyone know."
"Not yet!" Tessa leaned out of his embrace, gently touching his lips with her fingers. "Not until we know for sure and I'm past the danger period."
Ben’s expression sobered. “You’re right, Tess. I’m sorry. I just wanted to shout the news to everyone.”
“I know, but it’s too early yet, and besides, I haven’t even been to the doctor.”
“Okay. Our secret for now. But we need to get you to the doctor.” He pulled her head forward and gently kissed the top of her head.
“Thanks Ben.”
Elliott drove them to Guayaquil the next day. It just so happened he had to go to the city for a meeting, so it fitted in perfectly. They told him it was just for ‘women’s business’. The glint in his eye suggested he’d guessed, but for once he didn’t press them. Penny stepped in and took their English class.
"Well, you’re just over seven weeks and everything looks fine," the doctor said as he ran the ultrasound monitor over Tessa’s stomach. She held back tears as she studied the grainy black and grey image of the tiny fetus growing inside her. Seeing the heartbeat gave her hope that this time she could carry it to full term.
"Do you suggest we leave Ecuador and return home to Australia?" Ben asked.
The doctor glanced up. "I don't see a need at the moment, unless, of course, you’d like to. I can't foresee any complications, and as long as you take care of yourself, Miss Tessa, you should be fine."
Tessa smiled and nodded. Of course she’d take care of herself!
"Perhaps you should return to Australia about three to four months before the baby’s due, assuming you want to be home for the birth."
Tessa caught Ben’s eye. Yes, that would be perfect.
Sitting in between Elliott and Ben on the return ride from the hospital back to the mission grounds, Tessa's heart was full. She linked her arm with Ben's, and ran her other hand over her belly that was still flat but held a special little person. Their baby.
Tessa was on cloud nine, although she had to force herself not to think about the possibility of miscarrying again. The doctor had assured her she was in perfect health, and there was no reason to worry. But that’s what the doctor had said the last time.
It was hard to hide the pregnancy from Penny. She was a nurse, after all.
“You’re very lucky,” Penny said to her one day in between visits as they sat under some shady palm trees beside the river.
“What do you mean?” Tessa looked at her, trying to act innocent.
“I know you’re expecting.” Penny’s eyes twinkled. “Congratulations, sweet girl. I’m so happy for you.” She reached out and squeezed Tessa’s hand.
Tessa gave Penny a grateful smile. “Thank you, Penny. We were going to start telling people soon now I’m almost past the danger period.” Tessa felt her lip quiver.
Penny narrowed her eyes. “Are you worried?”
Tessa sucked in a breath. Did it show that much? Her shoulders slumped. “Just a little. I miscarried last year, so it’s on my mind a lot, although I’m trying to stay positive.”
“Oh Tessa, I’m so sorry. But there’s no reason for it to happen again, is there?”
“No, the doctor said everything’s fine. I’m just being silly.” Tessa blinked back tears. She had no rational reason to be concerned, but the memory of that night was still so vivid sometimes, and even though she knew their little baby boy was in heaven, waiting for her and Ben, the pain of loss was still so real.
“Come here. Let me give you a hug.” Penny drew Tessa into her arms, but as she did, tears streamed down Tessa’s cheeks. She couldn’t help it. Penny reminded her so much of her mother. And that’s what she needed. Her mother’s arms.
“There, there, you’ll be fine.” Penny whispered into her ear.
Tessa sniffed as she nodded. She wiped her eyes with a tissue she pulled out of her pocket.
“You know, Larry and I were unable to have children.” Penny’s voice was soft and quiet.
Tessa straightened, wiping her eye again. "I’m so sorry, Penny. I had no idea." Tessa gulped. She’d assumed they’d chosen not to have children. She felt so bad.
“There was no reason for you to know, Tessa. We’d so much wanted a large family, but it wasn’t to be.” She smiled wistfully. “We’ve come to accept it now, but in the early days it was hard. Both Larry and I questioned God continually. We couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t bless us with a baby. We tried everything, but in the end, we just had to come to terms with it and accept that it was God’s will for our lives. And you know, Tessa, God has blessed our lives so much, but in a completely different way to what we’d ever imagined.”
Tessa took a deep breath as she allowed Penny's words to sink in. Everyone had challenges, some more obvious than others, but they were all part of the journey called life. She recalled the hymn she’d sung with Stephanie, and the words challenged her yet again. Would her anchor hold, even if she did miscarry again? What if it had turned out that she and Ben couldn’t have children, like Penny and Larry? And what if Jayden never returned? Not that she believed he wouldn’t. But would her anchor hold, regardless? Could she go back home and live confidently with Jesus as her Lord and Saviour, trusting him like the people of this village did on a daily basis for the simplest of things that she and Ben had taken for granted all their lives? She wanted to. She really wanted to.
The pain of the loss of their first baby was still a dull ache in her chest. She guessed it would always be, but now they had another precious little one growing inside her. She had nothing to be sad or concerned about. She and Ben had their whole futures ahead of them. Instead of being bitter about not having children, Penny’s disappointment had made her stronger, with a heart to serve and love God and to serve and love others. Wasn't that the reason she and Ben had come to Ecuador? To get their minds off their own problems and to serve others? Tessa gulped. God, please forgive me for my lack of trust. Give me a heart for others, just like Penny, and make me a better, stronger person, so I can serve you and others with compassion and fervour. You are my anchor, Lord God, steadfast and sure. I will hold firmly to you, and trust you, regardless of what happens in my life.
“Thank you, Penny.” Tessa sniffed again. “That spoke to me so much. You’re such a wonderful person. Thank you for being here for me.”
“Oh Tessa, you’ll make me cry next. Come on, let’s get going. Our rounds won’t do themselves, you know.”
Penny stood and held her hand out to Tess, and gave her another big hug. ‘We’ll be praying for you, Tessa.”
“Thank you, Penny.”
That night in bed, Tessa rested her head on Ben’s chest as he read. Outside, the noises of the night drifted in. Somewhere in the distance, a cow mooed. Someone was playing a drum not far away, and next door, a baby cried. Tessa gulped. She’d miss the closeness of community living, but it was time. She lifted her head and turned Ben’s face toward her. “Ben…
“I’m trying to read, Tess.”
“I want to say something.”
“What?”
“I’m ready to go home.”
<
br /> Ben jolted up, dropping his book and losing his place.
“Really?”
Tessa nodded, her eyes misting over.
Ben’s eyes softened. “I’ve been thinking the same thing. It’s time, isn’t it?” He lifted his hand and ran his fingers slowly down her hairline as he held her gaze.
Tessa nodded again, happy tears filling her eyes. Lowering her head back onto Ben’s chest, she sighed contentedly as he wrapped his arms around her.
Chapter 25
Ben and Tessa broke the news to the team the following day. Nobody wanted them to go, but everyone respected their decision, especially when they heard about the new addition. The soon-to-be-parents agreed to stay until new team members had been recruited.
The evening before their departure, the mission put on a huge going away party. Early in the morning, fires were lit, and four pigs prepared. The women busied themselves cooking an array of dishes to accompany the roast pig, and also prepared platters of the fresh tropical fruit that Tessa had come to love. She’d miss the gaiety and colour of village life, but mostly she’d miss the people. They’d made so many wonderful friends, but her focus was now turning to their baby and life back home.
The party carried on well into the night, with lots of eating, music and dancing. One by one, the children and their parents said their shy goodbyes to Ben and Tessa, giving them small handmade gifts to remember them by. Tessa was nearly brought to tears several times, but when Maria gave her a handwritten recipe book, Tessa couldn’t hold them back any longer. “Maria, you have been such a special friend. Thank you.” She wiped her tears with a tissue and then gave Maria a big hug.
“We’ll miss you, Tessa. We all will. Come back sometime soon?”
Tessa nodded. Yes, she’d like that.
Larry called everyone to attention after dessert had been served, motioning for Ben and Tessa to join him.
Tessa grabbed Ben’s hand as they stepped towards him. Her heart was heavy as reality hit her. They were actually leaving this place they’d come to love so much. Tomorrow they’d be back in their clean, quiet house in suburban Brisbane, far away from this colourful, noisy village. But it was time. She knew that. And as Larry and Penny gave their farewell speeches and prayed for them, she knew in her heart that this was God’s timing.
Tormented Love: A Christian Romance (The True Love Series Book 3) Page 13