by Diana Currie
He furrowed his brow and took a step back. “You don’t think how I feel about you is real?”
“You understood my metaphor?”
Shane looked at me seriously and said, “It’s from Mrs. Richards’ health class only she called it pizza love. You changed it to cupcakes because you thought that was more fitting due to your obsession for the sweets.”
We smiled at each other and I was reminded once again just how much Shane Decker knew me better than anyone else in the world. “You said before that you were confused about me. What’s changed? Are you sure you even know what you want?” I pleaded.
He huffed in frustration and ran his hand through his hair making it stand up in all directions. I used his silence to voice another of my concerns.
“I was there when you chose Wendy, and when you chose Julie, and every other girl that came before and in between. How do you know what you’re feeling for me is stronger?”
He thought for a moment and replied, “Hannah. I can’t… I don’t trust my own feelings either, and it’s caused me to get hurt a lot in the past. But it’s different with you because you already know me better than anyone and I know you the same way. I just proved it with the stupid cupcake thing. I remember everything about you because you’ve always been special to me, I just didn’t understand why until recently. I’ve always loved you but what’s changed is now I can’t help myself around you, I can’t help wanting you.”
I took a step closer and placed my hands on Shane’s cheeks. Pulling his face to mine, I gently rested our foreheads together. He didn’t attempt to kiss me again so I let myself feel close to him, breathing in his heavenly scent.
“My feelings aren’t confused, Shane. This has never been cupcake love to me; I know I’m never going to stop feeling this way for you. If something should happen between Aiden and me then… I can only hope that you’ll still feel this way,” I murmured.
“I’ll be waiting,” he breathed.
I pulled away from him again, ripping my heart out as I moved. “We should go back inside,” I said.
Shane followed me silently into the house. We crept back into the party undetected just in time to see Jack approach Ally and whisper something in her ear. She nodded her head and stood up with his assistance. Her belly had really gotten big in the two months I’d been gone.
“Jack says he needs to talk to me about something alone,” Ally explained to the circle of girls on the sofas. “I’ll just be a minute.”
There was only a porch light on in the backyard as Ally and Jack went through the sliding glass doors. It had just gotten dark outside making it difficult to see them clearly. Once Jack had led Ally into the middle of the Decker’s lawn Rachel flipped the switches on the wall by the kitchen darkening the living room completely and Elise flipped the switch by the back door illuminating the entire yard in twinkle lights. They were wrapped around every pine tree in the yard, and hung from the branches like vines. I’d never seen anything more beautiful. Everyone in the house gasped and asked each other what was going on. Shane had a wide grin on his face. I knew he was in on it. He must have helped hang the lights.
Shane and I moved closer to the sliding glass door where everyone inside the house stood watching what was happening out in the yard. Jack and Ally couldn’t see us with the house lights out. It felt like they were on a stage and we were their audience. We couldn’t hear them, of course, but sometimes actions speak louder than words. We all watched as Jack took Ally’s small hands in his and went down on one knee. Ally yanked her hands out of his and covered her mouth in surprise. She looked towards the house but I’m sure couldn’t see any of us watching. Her attention turned back to Jack and he started speaking to her. I could tell Ally was crying because she wiped tears from her eyes. Jack pulled a little velvet box out of his pocket and showed her a ring. Everyone in the house applauded as he removed the ring from the box and slid it onto her finger. Jack stood up; grinning like a fool and Ally threw her arms around him. They kissed passionately and then Ally wiped more tears. Rachel gave them another moment or two alone before the lights inside the house came back on. Everyone inside hurried through the back door to congratulate the happy couple out in the yard.
Shane and I paused to smile at each other a moment before joining our family and friends outside.
CHAPTER 25: THE BIRTH
A few weeks later I decided to visit Ally. Her baby was due any day and she was apparently getting rather cranky. Elise called me to see if I’d be willing to keep Ally company for a few hours and get her mind off the discomfort of being nine months pregnant. I laughed on the phone and told her I’d be right over. When I let myself in the front door I found Shane and Mark hanging out in the living room. The two boys were quite a sight. Both were slouching on the sofa and staring at the widescreen TV hung over the mantle. Some kind of wilderness survival reality show was on and they were so absorbed in what they were watching that they didn’t even hear me come in. There were food wrappers and potato chips all over the floor and in their laps. They reminded me of Lenny and Colin on Super bowl Sunday.
“What is going on in here?” I demanded. I’d never seen such a sorry sight. Their heads turned towards the sound of my voice and appeared startled by my sudden presence.
“Oh, hey Hannah,” Mark said. I ignored him and looked at Shane.
“Is this what you boys have been doing all summer?”
“Yeah, pretty much,” Shane said chuckling. Rachel had mentioned how Shane’s spirits had been down lately, but this was ridiculous. I could understand how Mark must be feeling after what Jessa did to him only weeks earlier but Shane had broken up with Julie over two months ago. He should be past this stage by now.
“This is just sad,” I said, kicking his foot off the coffee table. Shane shrugged. I turned to go upstairs to find Ally while they went back to what they were doing. I’d have to deal with their wallowing later; Ally was waiting for me. I found her in her bedroom pacing back and forth.
“Hey, sweetie. How are you holding up?”
Ally groaned and walked over to hug me. “I’m miserable, Hannah. My back hurts. I can’t sleep anymore. Look at my fat ankles! Ugh, I can’t take this anymore.”
We sat on the end of her bed and I took her hand. I didn’t have much experience with pregnant women but I tried to comfort her as best I could. Jack was due back later in the day. He was packing some of his things to bring them over to the Decker’s. He was moving in so he could live with Ally and the baby full time. I helped Ally pack her hospital bag, rubbed her back, and talked to her about Aiden while she paced back and forth. She said walking could help to induce labor.
After a few hours I was starting to understand her pain. I excused myself to the bathroom and also stopped by the kitchen to get her some more pineapple, another possible labor inducer. I checked on Shane and noticed Mark had left. I wanted to go talk to him to see if he was alright but knew I didn’t have any wise breakup advice to give. Also, I was afraid his sour mood had more to do with me than Julie and I couldn’t deal with that right now. As I started back up the stairs Ally screamed.
I dropped the bowl of pineapple and raced up the stairs. Elise and Casey were right behind me. We found Ally in her bathroom holding her stomach.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Ow, water broke I think,” she replied.
Elise rushed past Casey and me to check Ally. I expected a puddle of water to be beneath her feet but instead it looked like Ally had wet herself. Elise got a towel off the rack and told Ally to sit on it, and then she called Colin. I could tell it was baby time by the sounds Ally was beginning to make as Elise talked on the phone. Casey looked scared so I gave her a warm smile and put my arm around her. Shane, who had been standing outside the room, poked his head into the bathroom cautiously and asked what was going on.
“Ally’s water broke,” I answered. He stepped into the doorway and glided over to his sister to hold her hand.
“We haven
’t timed the contractions yet, Colin. She hasn’t had any since we’ve been on the phone. Right, I understand,” Elise said calmly. “Okay, we’re leaving for the hospital,” she replied and hung up the phone.
“Dad says I need to go now?” Ally asked panicked.
“Yes, sweetie. Once the water breaks you need to go to the hospital regardless of contractions,” Elise answered. I handed her the hospital bag from Ally’s room.
“But I need to call Jack. He’s still at his parent’s house,” Ally argued.
“Then he’ll meet us there. Hannah, you’ll call him for us?” Elise instructed.
I nodded my head. “Yes.”
“Al, do you want us to come with you?” Shane asked. I was wondering the same thing.
“Thanks guys, but I’m gonna have mom and Jack and his mom all there. Just call Jack and tell him to get his ass to the hospital! You can come see us when it’s all over.”
Shane nodded and helped her out of the room and down the stairs. Elise grabbed the car keys and started the engine as Shane helped Ally into the passenger seat. We waved as they drove off and went back inside the house, not sure what to do now. I pulled out my phone and called Jack’s cell. I explained to him what happened and he took off for the hospital immediately. There wasn’t much else I could do. I figured Jack would tell Rachel but I wanted to call her anyway. I didn’t think Ally would let her be there either. After talking to Rachel for a few minutes I grabbed my keys and turned to Shane and Casey to say goodbye.
“You aren’t staying?” he asked.
“Oh, I uh, figured there wasn’t much I could do to help here,” I replied confused.
“Can you stay with us?” Casey asked.
She still looked a little shaken and I knew I couldn’t leave her like that. I agreed to wait with them and sank into the chair by the fireplace. Shane smiled like he was just as happy at my willingness to stay as his little sister. I knew he would be worried for Ally and the baby until we got the call that both mommy and baby were happy and healthy. I made Shane clean up the mess in the living room and he did so reluctantly. Maybe I could use this time to snap Shane out of his current funk.
Casey found some cards on the bookshelf and asked us to play. I shuffled the cards and dealt them out around the coffee table. After a few rounds of Uno I decided to break the tension with a little conversation.
“Casey, I heard Shane’s been teaching you to play his piano? How’s that going?”
“Good, I think. He’s working on a new song and letting me help,” she replied happily.
I looked at Shane and his mouth turned up at the corners. “A new song?” I pressed him.
“I’ve had an idea in my head for a while. I thought it would be good for her to help since she’s learning,” he replied, mock punching her arm. I loved watching Shane interact with Casey. It was obvious how much she idolized him and how much he cherished her being part of his family.
“I like writing music with him. I can’t wait to play it for everyone,” she added.
“That’s great. I’d love to hear your song when it’s all done,” I said to Casey. “Draw four, Shane.”
He rolled his eyes at me and Casey laughed as he picked up the cards dramatically from the pile. It was hours before Elise called to give us an update. She said Ally was doing well and she was progressing at a good rate. The nurses still expected it to be a few more hours. Rachel and Ethan showed up not long after Elise called. They didn’t want to wait alone anymore. We were in the middle of what felt like our hundredth round of Uno when Jack finally called Shane’s phone.
“Jack? Is Ally okay? Yeah, okay, hold on man, wait. I’m going to put it on speaker.”
Shane placed his phone in the center of the table and told Jack to continue.
“We have a baby! It’s a boy!” Jack announced. We all clapped and congratulated him. “Ally did great. The baby is healthy. He’s big too! 8lbs, 3oz.”
“What does he look like, Jack? What’s his name?” Rachel asked.
“He’s got a little black hair and chubby cheeks. His name is Adam Henry Hender. I’m gonna send you all a photo text when I hang up.”
“When can we come see him?” I asked.
“He’s getting a bath right now and the nurse said she has to check his vitals again in a few minutes. Ally is gonna try to feed him too, so maybe like an hour?”
“Jack,” I laughed. “It’s already nine o’clock. Maybe we should come tomorrow? Let Ally get some sleep?”
“Oh, is it that late? I lost track of time a while ago,” Jack chuckled.
“How does it feel to be a daddy?” Rachel asked.
“It’s amazing, Sis. Wait till you see him!”
“How’s Ally?” Casey asked.
“She’s just fine, kiddo. She’s a little tired but so happy.”
Casey smiled and Shane smoothed the hair at the back of her head with his hand. We all said congratulations to Jack and he hung up. Twenty seconds later all our phones buzzed and we got our first look at baby Adam. We all said “aw” in unison.
“Okay, guys, I really need to go now,” I announced. “I promised Aiden I’d go see him if I wasn’t going to be at the hospital tonight.”
“He’s back already?” Rachel asked.
“Yeah. He got back yesterday but needed some time with his family. I was planning on going there earlier today before Al went into labor. I’ll be back tomorrow morning though. Don’t you dare go see that baby without me!”
We agreed to meet at Rachel’s house the following day at 10am. I already had a bag packed in my truck so I gave Aiden a quick call to make sure our plans were still on and then headed up to Pemberton to reunite with my boyfriend. It was a little after ten when I pulled up outside Aiden’s house. I was so happy to be back there. I knocked softly on the front door and when Aiden answered he wasted no time wrapping his arms around me in a great big hug. I giggled as he assaulted my neck with his lips, inching their way down to my collarbone.
“Aiden, how about a hello?” I protested while scratching the short hair at the base of his neck with my nails.
“Hello,” he replied in a husky voice, not taking his mouth from my skin. “I missed you.”
“I can see that. I really missed you too,” I said.
Aiden pulled me inside his house and released me long enough for us to look each other over.
“You look almost tan,” he noticed with a big grin on his face.
“You look taller,” I countered. He shook his head and pulled me close for another kiss. “And what is that?” I asked, pointing to the marking on his right arm.
“Oh, it’s a tattoo. All the guys got them to show their commitment to the project.”
I ran my fingers over the artfully drawn pine tree with mountain peaks behind it on his upper bicep. I wasn’t very fond of tattoos but this one suited him well. I worried maybe we’d drifted apart over the summer even more than I’d thought. He’d made a very permanent commitment to his life’s passion while he was away. Although I was extremely relieved he hadn’t come home with my name etched into his flesh it did make me feel just a little bit further removed from his world.
“My dad’s asleep. Are you hungry?” he asked.
“No thanks. I grabbed something on the way.”
I was so happy to finally be with Aiden again. I spent most of the summer feeling like something was off between us. I needed to erase the time we spent apart by reconnecting mind, body, and soul. I wandered over to Aiden’s bedroom and peered inside.
“You made the bed?” I asked amazed. “I’ve never seen you make your bed before.”
“It’s a habit I picked up in Big Sandy,” he shrugged.
“I think it’s very sexy,” I said smirking.
“Oh yeah? Maybe we should go ruffle the sheets up so I can demonstrate how I tuck and fold?”
I laughed and took Aiden’s hands in mine, luring him into his room. He shut the door quietly and followed me over to his bed. He took m
y face in his hands and kissed me feverishly. We removed each other’s clothes piece by piece until we were standing together naked in the dim light from the desk lamp. I stepped closer until our bodies were touching. Reveling in the warmth of his skin, my face pressed against his chest.
“It was harder to be away from you than I thought it would,” he admitted. “I kept worrying about what could happen while I was gone.” Aiden’s hands were on my waist and he slowly stroked his fingers up and down the length of my spine.
“What do you mean?”
“Did you spend a lot of time with him?” he asked. I knew who he meant.
“I spent some time with him. He’s a close friend, Aiden.”
“I understand that. I just felt like, you know, ‘out of sight out of mind’...” he whispered. My arms tightened instinctively around his torso.
“Maybe we were crazy to think this would be easy,” I sighed, looking up into his eyes. “I missed you so much this summer, but I’m always going to care about him and miss him when he’s not around too. I can’t help it.”
Aiden moved his hands down my bare back and settled them on my hips. “Hannah, I could really love you if you’d let me,” he said softly, “If you could love me back.”
He stared at me, waiting for my response. I could tell by the anxious expression on his face that my answer would surprise him. To be honest, it surprised me too.
“I think I already do love you, Aiden. My stupid heart is just always going to be torn in two.”
“Your heart is not stupid, it’s beautiful,” he whispered.
I leaned forward to kiss him deeply, not wanting to talk anymore. Aiden moaned and lowered us to his bed. My body was aching for him but he was kissing me slowly; concentrating on one part of my body at a time. I realized that to Aiden tonight wasn’t about remedying months of sexual frustration. Something momentous had just happened between us and now he was showing me how much he cared about me. He was worshiping my body with his and it sent a shiver up my spine. Aiden felt me shake and pulled back to look into my eyes.