by Diana Currie
When Shane answered I was overcome by the emotions I felt from seeing him. He looked slightly nervous but was smiling wide as he looked me over. He was wearing a collared shirt with a beige sweater over it and dark jeans.
“You look beautiful, Hannah,” he greeted.
“Thank you,” I said blushing.
He opened the door wide and I stepped inside. The Christmas décor in the house was still present but much more subtle than it had been during the party. All the ribbon and garland were gone and only the tree and some pieces on the mantle seemed to remain in the living room. Judging by the dim romantic lighting and the Bach I heard from the surround sound Shane would be trying to impress me all evening. He promised me that having our first real date wouldn’t be weird but I was starting to feel slightly intimidated.
Shane helped me out of my coat and his fingers brushed the back of my neck. It was ridiculous the way my body reacted to even the most fleeting contact with him. I tore my eyes away from him and walked towards the fireplace, needing a moment to calm my nerves. I admired the stockings hanging from the mantle with each of the family member’s names embroidered in silver thread. I smiled when I saw the one for Casey, reaching out to trace the stitching with my fingertips.
“Are your parents going to adopt Casey?” I asked, looking over my shoulder at him.
He walked closer to me and replied, “They’re trying. It’s a difficult process.”
“She seems very happy here,” I commented.
He nodded. “I think so too.”
“What did you tell everyone you were doing tonight?” I asked curiously.
“I told them I wanted to have the house to myself for a while and that you were coming over. Ally was surprisingly willing to leave.”
I chuckled. “I might have unwillingly had something to do with that. She knows about us and promised me one day before she attacks you with questions. Your time is almost up.”
He smiled and said, “then we shouldn’t waste any more of it,” hesitantly taking my hand in his.
He looked deep into my eyes for a long moment and then towed me towards the kitchen. There were two place settings at the table and an arrangement of fresh flowers in the middle. Shane left me by the island to tend to the pots on the stove. It was extremely sexy watching him cook. We talked a little but mostly I just watched him work. Every few minutes Shane would look over his shoulder and give me that crooked grin. I wanted to go over to help when I noticed the heat was too high on the chicken but I held back the urge.
We had a lovely dinner together. I could tell Elise had taught him a thing or two in the kitchen and it just made the person that he was all the more appealing. I didn’t know how I’d survived without Shane being mine for so long but I knew I couldn’t do it much longer. By the time we’d finished eating I had decided I never wanted to eat another meal without him. He had been right that we could move forward with our relationship without feeling awkward. Honestly, nothing else felt more right. There were times during dinner when he reached across the table to hold my hand and I nearly passed out from the sensation of his touch.
We cleared the table together and I insisted on doing the dishes. Shane touched me in subtle ways as I washed and he dried. He’d lean over me to reach for a pot, or brush a strand of hair away from my face. My heart was pounding the entire time. Shane reached across the sink for the last dirty plate in the same moment I reached for it. Together our hands brought the plate down into the warm soapy water.
I felt his eyes on me and risked a glance upwards. His body was inches from mine and I saw his tongue sweep across his lower lip wetting it. There was desire and longing in his eyes. I was sure he saw the same in my own. Shane’s fingers laced between mine in the water and his other hand appeared at the base of my neck, gently pulling me closer. In that instant I knew he was going to kiss me, and my life would forever be divided into two halves. My life up until this moment… and my life from this moment on.
I watched his eyes drop to my lips as I parted them in anticipation. I was frozen in place, my heart beating wildly. I felt him close the space between us and my eyes closed instinctually as his soft lips made contact with mine. He pressed himself against me and my free hand flew to his forearm, needing to touch his skin in any way I could. His kiss was sweet and controlled; my lower lip gently squeezed between his as if they were made to fit together. Too soon he pulled away just enough to look into my eyes.
“I couldn’t wait any longer,” he whispered under his breath, leaning his forehead against mine.
Neither of us let go where our hands were touching each other. I needed more, my body screaming to keep the connection between us.
“Neither could I,” I whispered back and pressed my lips to his once more.
When we broke apart Shane let out a sigh and smiled. He pulled his hand out of the dishwater and reached for a towel, drying his hand and then mine. “Come with me. I want to show you that surprise now,” he said softly.
There was no going back for me after that night; no more uncertainty in my mind. My brain had finally come to the same conclusion my heart had reached years ago, and I couldn’t live without him another day. I wasn’t sure what Shane was expecting from this date. I’d been telling him to slow down his advances for weeks so I could catch my breath and feel confident about moving forward. Now that I was ready to give him the green light, the way to tell him escaped me.
We walked hand in hand up the stairs to his bedroom. I had been in Shane’s room countless times before but never experienced such an intense combination of emotions from simply walking through the doorway. I was agitated, elated, and curious all at the same time. His bed had never looked so large and intimidating before. I had no idea what Shane’s surprise was going to be and that frightened me. He knew I hated surprises.
Shane motioned for me to sit on his bed as he nervously fumbled through the drawer of his desk looking for something. When he found it I heard him clear his throat in preparation. He turned to face me holding a stack of white paper tied together in a blue bow.
“I never intended for anyone to read this, especially you,” he began. “But now I think I owe it to you.”
I looked at him in confusion, which only made him more nervous. “Shane, what is it?”
He sat next to me on the bed and handed me the bundle of papers. “It’s a short story I began writing after I realized my feelings for you.”
“You’re letting me read one of your stories?” I asked stunned.
“The characters are loosely based on you and me. I started writing it as an outlet. You were with Aiden and I had no choice but to keep everything inside,” he explained. “I didn’t know how deep your feelings for me were, or if they were still there. It was maddening. I started to understand how you must have felt all this time.”
I nodded in agreement. The past few years had been maddening as he put it.
“Now I can see that everything we’ve put each other through has made you uncertain about us and I feel I owe you an explanation for why I didn’t come to my senses sooner. I want you to read it so you’ll know the truth of how I feel about you. The characters and setting are fiction but the way the man’s love for the woman develops over time in the story is exactly how it happened for me. I apologize that it isn’t finished. I suppose I’m hoping for inspiration to write a happy ending,” he said.
I ran my fingers over the manuscript as my mind processed what I’d just heard. I bit my lower lip and turned my head to see Shane’s face. Slowly I raised my right hand to cup his cheek and said, “I think you’ll get your happy ending, Shane.”
He sucked in a breath and leaned into my hand, exhaling slowly. I kissed him soft and careful. I didn’t want our passion to escalate, and I was sure it could happen easily, so I reluctantly pulled away when I needed to breathe.
“So, you’ll read it?” he asked.
“I have just one request,” I asked softly. He raised his eyebrows in question. “Rea
d some of it to me?” I whispered, unable to hold back my smile.
“Of course,” he replied with an equally large grin.
Shane slipped back against the headboard propping up some pillows to lean against. I snuggled into the crook of his arm and rested my head against his chest. His strong arms wrapped around me as he flipped open the story to the first page. Shane bent his head to kiss my cheek and then began reading. His voice was more soothing and seductive than I’d ever heard during his readings of Canterbury Tales or Longfellow. He emphasized certain words and told the story as only its creator could. I was impressed by his writing style and moved by the words.
Shane’s story was about a young man in a small southern town whose best friend is the girl next door. The young man who tells the story in present time is naïve and oblivious to the signals his pretty neighbor is sending him. I was surprised by the humor in the story, and every time the young man described his feelings to the reader I felt as if I was peering through another window into Shane’s soul. More than once I felt a tear escape my eyes and each time it happened Shane paused his reading to wipe it away.
He read me the first chapter and then laid the story on his lap. I assumed he was waiting for my thoughts or maybe a professional critique but I had no words. I was in awe. As my shaky fingers took the pages from his hands I noticed the front cover was blank.
“No title?” I asked curiously.
“I haven’t been able to think of anything that does my feelings for you justice.”
“There’s a song I’ve been listening to lately that I would swear was written about us…” I mused.
“What song?” he whispered, kissing my hair.
I had no singing voice whatsoever so I recited the lines to him like a poem.
“I follow the footsteps your boots make in the dirt; over your shoulder you see only your shadow. But one day you will see how much your blindness has hurt. And still I trek on down this bumpy road, bravely hopping over potholes with a hopeful heart, following footsteps down your old dirt road.”
“I think that’s a very fitting interpretation,” he said. Without another word Shane hopped up from the bed and grabbed a pen off his desk. He sat back in his place at my side and elegantly scribbled something on the front cover of his manuscript.
“Our Bumpy Road,” I read aloud.
“What do you think?”
“I think I shoulder some of the responsibility too for the road being bumpy, but I like it,” I joked.
He chuckled and tossed the pages onto his nightstand. We lay on his bed facing each other unsure of what to do next.
“It’s a beautiful story, Shane. You’re very talented,” I said.
“Does that mean you’ll keep reading it?”
“Yes. I definitely want to read the whole thing… just not right now,” I replied in what was hopefully a suggestive tone.
In case there was any doubt in his mind about what I wanted my hand reached for his sweater and pulled him closer to me. “I need you, Shane,” I whispered.
His arms snaked around my waist and pulled my body tight against his. Our open mouths found each other and we both moaned at the connection. I slid my hands over his chest, up his neck, and into his tangled hair. We kissed, and touched, and teased for a long time enjoying the feel of each other’s bodies. I thought about what I wanted; wondered if it was too soon to sleep with him. I could practically feel the adrenaline pulsing through my veins and all I wanted was to rip his clothes off.
I’d wanted to make love to Shane for five years, achieved my goal once, and fought off the urge to do it again ever since. I was done with ignoring the signals my heart and body were sending me. Shane must have felt the same because I felt his fingers slid under the hem of my dress, which had ridden up considerably, and started pulling it up my body. I reached behind my back to lower the zipper and he had the whole thing over my head seconds later.
“Hannah,” he moaned as he attacked my cleavage with kisses.
I removed his sweater quickly and set to work on the buttons of his dress shirt. I fumbled with the first one and he laughed at my obvious frustration. I fell back on the bed and watched as his fingers swiftly opened his shirt one button at a time. I reached forward to push the fabric off his shoulders and watched it fall to the floor. It was a little cold in the room so we turned down the sheets and slipped underneath. Being with Shane in his bed was something I fantasized about so often; it was hard to believe it was actually happening. The sheets smelled just like him and I felt completely surrounded by his essence. My body ached with a need for him that was beyond anything I’d ever felt before.
Shane pulled me on top of him as he settled back against the mattress. I straddled his hips running my hands all over his muscular chest and shoulders, trying to memorize his perfection. Shane’s hands were on my body and I was desperate to do the same to his. My fingers unbuttoned the fly on his jeans and was just beginning to ease the zipper down when I heard someone knocking on the bedroom door.
“Kids? Ally says your twenty four hours are up, whatever that means,” Elise said through the door. The handle started turning and Shane yelled out, “Mom, no!” at the same time Elise poked her head inside the room.
“She wants to know when- Oh my! I’m sorry!” she exclaimed ducking her head down to look at the floor.
Shane’s hands were still groping my breasts as I tumbled off him and tried to cover myself with the bed sheet.
“Mom, shut the door, please!” Shane begged.
“I didn’t realize you’d be, um I mean that you might want,” Elise fumbled for the right words, her eyes still focused on the carpet. “Sorry, kids,” she said as she backed out of the room closing the door behind her.
I looked at Shane who was still pitching a tent under the sheet and burst into laughter. His expression was mortified which only made me laugh harder. He turned to me in shock and started shaking his head back and forth.
“I’m sorry, it isn’t funny,” I managed to get out in between giggles.
“I can’t believe that just happened,” he said.
I took a few deep breaths to collect myself. “Don’t worry about Elise. Something tells me she’s happy for us,” I replied recalling my conversation with her on Christmas.
“I’m going to kill Ally,” Shane said glowering at his bedroom door.
I leaned over to kiss his frown away, peppering his face and lips. He winced and looked down at himself.
“Oh my God, I’m gonna have the bluest balls tomorrow,” he groaned laying back and covering his eyes with his forearm.
I knew we couldn’t pick up where we left off after Elise dumped cold water on us but the interruption did little to diminish my need for him. I snuggled up against his side and gently pried his arm away from his face. He turned to look at me and I was met with a half smile.
“Do you think we should go downstairs?” I asked hesitantly. It occurred to me that Shane’s entire family must know what we’d been doing by now. I felt my cheeks turning pink.
Shane caressed my side with his hand and began kissing my neck. “Do you have plans tomorrow?” he asked, ignoring my question.
I shook my head. “Dad’s working the night shift so the house will be empty.”
Shane groaned against my skin and tightened his grip on my hip. “Do you want to hang out? I can bring over a movie?” he suggested.
His kisses trailed up to my face and our eyes met. I kissed his lips softly. “That sounds perfect.”
We forced our bodies apart and got dressed. Shane held my hand as we walked down the steps to meet the inquisition that was Ally Decker. Thankfully Elise and Colin were nowhere to be found. Jack was feeding the baby in the living room when we entered. He was laughing under his breath, jostling the milk in the bottle.
“So, you got cockblocked by Elise?” he chuckled looking at us. “I know the feeling.”
“Shut up,” Shane replied, a hint of humor in his voice.
Casey a
nd Ally emerged from the kitchen moments later. As expected, we were bombarded with questions from Shane’s sisters. Some he answered graciously, others we hadn’t even discussed with each other yet and he declined comment, which drove Ally crazy. She wanted to know how long we’d had feelings for each other, if it started in high school, if that was why Julie left him, what we were to each other now, and so on.
Once the interrogation questions slowed I asked Ally if she’d given any thought to her wedding yet. I picked the right topic to get her off our backs and I was launched into an hour long conversation about reception halls and centerpieces. Ally chose April 14th so it would coincide with our spring break from UD. It was hard to believe two of my friends would be married in four months time. Our lives were moving so fast.
Casey asked Shane if they could perform the song they’d been writing together and he agreed after a moment of hesitation. She walked over to the piano and sat on the left side of the bench leaving room for Shane to sit beside her. She tested out a few keys and then they began playing together. The song was slow and mysterious; every note seemed to be filled with emotion.
“Did you like it, Hannah?” Casey asked when the last note faded off.
“It was beautiful,” I replied honestly. I really thought it was the most moving piece of music Shane had ever written, and he looked so sweet performing it with his little sister.
“Shane told me you inspired it,” she gushed.
Shane poked her ribcage and she squealed. “Told you in confidence,” he said in mock annoyance.
“You knew how he felt about Hannah?” Ally asked Casey. Then she turned to Shane and said, “You told her and not me?”
“What can I say, I can’t keep secrets from this little girl,” Shane said putting his arm around Casey and squeezing her into his side. She giggled and tried to break free but Shane was much stronger than her. She finally resorted to tickling his side before he released her.
I realized everyone was now staring at me. I was overwhelmed that Shane would write such a beautiful song with me in mind. He stared at me; waiting for some kind of auditory response I suppose. Instead, I crossed the room and put my hand on his shoulder. I smiled and then kissed him tenderly in front of his family for the first time.