Cupcake Love

by Diana Currie

  He smiled and leaned in to kiss me. I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck, enjoying his taste in my mouth as his tongue brushed against mine.

  “Are you ready to move on to the next subject?” he asked after our kiss ended much too soon.

  “That was my reward? French kissing?” I asked feeling unfulfilled.

  Shane grinned and nodded. He could tell I was getting hot and bothered by his little game. It was time to catch Shane up to where I was. I sat up on his bed and quickly threw off my shirt. As I reached behind my back to unhook my bra Shane groaned.

  “What are you doing, baby?” he asked. There was evident lust in his voice.

  “Giving myself a more appropriate reward,” I whispered. His eyes narrowed and he saw that I wasn’t bluffing; he knew what I would do if he didn’t interject.

  “That’s my job,” he said fiercely and swung my legs over onto the bed. He was hovering above me before I finished celebrating my swift victory in seducing Shane.

  “Hannah,” he whispered.

  “Come on, baby. Please,” I begged.

  I felt his hands grip my pelvic bones and press his hips against me. I moaned to show him how much I wanted him. I felt his left hand rub up and down the length of my spine causing my skin to tingle. The metal frame of the bed squeaked. My hands reached forward and gripped the edge of the mattress with my fingers.

  “Fuck, Hannah. So hot,” Shane groaned.

  Making Shane talk dirty had become my new goal in life. I moaned again and arched my back as we proceeded to make love in his dorm room.

  “Fuck, Hannah,” Shane shouted.

  Suddenly there was a knocking on the wall. Bang, bang, bang. “Way to go, Shane!” someone shouted from the other side of the obviously thin walls. “Lucky bastard,” said a different voice. I blushed and covered my breasts with my hands instinctively. Shane covered me with a blanket as if there was a secret peephole I wasn’t aware of. Then he started laughing.

  “Looks like you’re the envy of the third floor tonight,” I said still embarrassed.

  “Only because you make me that way, sweetheart,” he said softly pressing his lips to my forehead.

  His flattering remark made me feel good, but regardless, that was the last night we made love in the UD dorms.

  *~*

  The day of Ally’s wedding was long and exhausting. I clearly remember certain details like Ally being the most composed and organized bride there ever was. She had the entire day arranged down to fifteen minute increments and every detail went off without a hitch. Jack looked so nervous in the church before the ceremony began. Shane and Ethan kept him talking and joking up until the organ music started and everyone took their places. Casey and I were bridesmaids. I walked down the aisle with Ethan and Casey with Jack’s cousin. I concentrated very hard on not falling in the absurd heels Ally had chosen for us. Shane and Rachel walked down the aisle together as they were best man and maid of honor. I was thankful it wasn’t me walking arm in arm with Shane toward that priest or I might have stopped right in front of him and demanded he perform a double wedding. It’s normal to imagine your own future when participating in a friend’s wedding party, right? I really couldn’t help myself what with being all dressed up and standing there in a church near Shane in a tuxedo. I’d been thinking more lately about what my life would look like with Shane in it and every scenario I pictured was more wonderful than the one before.

  The reception was more stunning than I could have imagined, even for a Decker party. The hall was a former church that had been renovated for use during weddings and large banquets. The inside had beautiful hardwood floors and cathedral ceilings. A second story balcony overlooked the dance floor. The food was outstanding as was the live music. Ethan made a speech and so did Rachel. They were both heartfelt and funny. I noticed Elise had been caring for Adam most of the evening so when everyone was finished eating I offered to take him for a while. No one would wonder why one of the bridesmaids never graced the dance floor as long as I was holding the baby.

  I was bouncing Adam on my knee, my brilliant plan working like a charm, as I watched the Decker’s stun the other wedding guests with their elegant dance moves. Shane might have been too introverted to make a speech on his sister’s behalf but he had no trouble twirling Rachel and Elise around the dance floor like Gene Kelly would have done. I made a mental note to ask Elise if Shane had begged her for ballroom dancing lessons as a child in addition to the piano lessons.

  A little while later Shane approached me with two flutes of champagne in his hands. I hadn’t been alone with him all day and what I really wanted to do was down those drinks and drag him upstairs to make good use of that secluded balcony.

  “You’ve been hiding behind Adam long enough,” he said smoothly. Damn he knew me too well. “I think it’s time you danced with your boyfriend.”

  “Who’s going to watch him? Elise and Colin are dancing. We can’t ask Ally or Jack to take him. And I think Rachel is trashed already.”

  “I thought you might respond this way, which is why I’ve already asked Casey if she wouldn’t mind holding him a few minutes and she said it would be no problem,” he replied proudly.

  I scowled at him and hugged Adam to my chest. Shane placed the champagne flutes on the table next to me. “For the pain,” he explained and then held his hands out to take Adam.

  I reluctantly handed him my chubby cooing excuse for being a wallflower and folded my arms across my chest. Shane cuddled the baby in his arms a few moments which helped a little to weaken the resentment I was feeling towards him. Casey came over to the table and Shane passed Adam to her whispering his thanks. I downed my champagne as Shane’s accomplice told me to enjoy my dance.

  “Come on, I promise you’ll do fine,” he urged.

  He smiled at me and I took his hand, knowing I was powerless to deny him anything he wanted of me. Shane drank a few sips of his champagne before leading me out into the center of the dance floor. He took one of my hands in his and I placed the other on his shoulder. I noticed Mark was dancing with a pretty young girl and he smiled at me as they passed us.

  “See, Hannah. This isn’t so bad,” Shane said against my ear.

  “You don’t play fair,” I pouted. “Wearing a tuxedo and holding a baby. I didn’t stand a chance.”

  He chuckled. “You like the tux, huh?”

  “Sure do. I’ve been having very dirty thoughts about you all night.”

  I felt him smile against the base of my neck. “Do you realize we haven’t danced together since prom?”

  “I wasn’t sure you’d remember dancing with me then,” I admitted. I hadn’t been his date after all.

  He pulled back slightly to look into my eyes. “Of course I do,” he said surprised. “I remember the blue dress you wore. You looked so happy.”

  “It was the best night of my life,” I replied, “Well, until the night you made love to me for the first time.”

  Shane leaned in and kissed my lips lovingly. The song ended and I thought my torture was over but instead he pulled me closer. He responded to my anxious expression by saying, “The next song is meant for us.”

  The music sounded familiar; to my relief it was another slow song. Shane pressed his lips to my temple as the performer on stage began singing and I realized it was the song I told him about in January; the one that inspired the title of his short story.

  “I follow the footsteps your boots make in the dirt; over your shoulder you see only your shadow. But one day you will see how much your blindness has hurt...”

  Shane softly sang along with the words as he swayed us back and forth, only taking minor steps left or right that he knew I could follow. “And still I trek on down this bumpy road, bravely hopping over potholes with a hopeful heart, following footsteps down your old dirt road,” he sang in my ear.

  I clutched the back of his neck with my hand and held him close as his heavenly voice spoke those powerful words to me. I was quickly filli
ng with emotions and didn’t want to cry in front of Shane’s entire family. No one else would understand the significance.

  “Was this song on Ally’s approved playlist,” I joked hoping to hold back my tears.

  “I got special permission from the boss days ago,” he whispered.

  “So you planned this, did you?”

  “I had to make sure I’d get at least once dance with you,” he replied. I looked into his eyes allowing him to see the tears threatening to spill over. Shane carefully swept a finger under each of my eyes to remove them.

  “I hope you’re enjoying this because I won’t be dancing again for a while,” I teased.

  Shane looked deep in thought for a moment and then said, “I think there will be another wedding to dance at in our near future.”

  I tensed at his words and wondered if he saw the surprise in my expression. Then I noticed he was nodding his head to the left and I followed his gaze to Ethan and Rachel. They were dancing together closely, though it appeared Ethan was holding Rachel up more so than dancing with her. The bartender really needed to cut her off. I was embarrassed by my obvious misunderstanding. The disappointment I felt made me realize just how much I wanted to marry Shane someday.

  “I love you so much, Hannah,” he said cupping my cheeks in his hands.

  “I love you too. Forever,” I replied.

  CHAPTER 33: THE BIG APPLE part 1

  “I’m packed and ready to go.”

  “What time does your train get in?”

  “2:10. I’ll give you a call after we arrive. Shane said to tell you we’ll take a cab so don’t worry about coming to meet us,” I said.

  “Okay. I can’t wait for you guys to get here, Hannah. You’re going to love New York!”Andrea said excitedly.

  “I’m excited too. I can’t believe I’m finally coming to see you,” I replied.

  I hung up with Andrea and did a last minute check of my room. I was so relieved that finals were over; three full years of college were behind me. By the time Shane and I arrived in New York that afternoon Andrea would be finished with her last exam and ready to blow off some steam. We had plans to meet up with her and Steve to have dinner and then go to a club. I was nervous about being in a strange new city late at night but I knew Andrea wouldn’t take us anywhere she didn’t feel comfortable. You just hear such scary stories about muggings in New York; I didn’t know why anyone would want to live there. If Lenny could get shot in tiny little Pittsgrove, New Jersey what on Earth must go on in a city like New York?

  Shane had no such fears. He was optimistic that I’d fall in love with the city that never sleeps. This trip was as important to Shane as it was to me but for very different reasons. I was looking forward to spending some time with my good friend who’s always understood me. Shane was eager to spend some time at the school he turned his back on three years ago. We hadn’t talked about NYU and grad school since becoming a couple but I was sure he still held hopes of enrolling there. Now that my life was intertwined with his we had some big decisions to make in the next year. The thought of Shane moving hours away from me for school the same way Aiden had done more than once made me sick to my stomach. I wouldn’t tolerate losing Shane or even allow us to drift apart from a geographic separation.

  I held Shane’s hand tightly as the Amtrak train took us from Delaware, to New Jersey, and into New York. I didn’t mind riding the train but I did sort of fear something unexpectedly falling onto the tracks and derailing the entire train. I hated knowing my life was in someone else’s hands.

  “I didn’t know the train made you so nervous,” Shane commented. He briefly unclasped our hands so he could flex his fingers. I guess I was clenching his hand tighter than I realized.

  “I hear about derailments on the news every once in a while. A deer could cross the tracks and get hit. Or we could take a turn at too high a speed and completely derail.”

  Shane chuckled and kissed the back on my hand. I closed my eyes and thought about the waves crashing against the rocks in Ocean City. Another train passed us going the opposite direction and I cringed. The train engineer alerted the passengers that we were approaching New York City. I pictured Shane in my bedroom at Lenny’s house the morning I woke up to find him watching me sleep. Shane’s free hand rubbed up and down my forearm and I imagined us in my bed in Newark the morning after Ally’s wedding. That had been some amazing sex. I’d watched him sleep that morning as the sun peeked through the window and shone over his perfect skin. The sunlight warmed his skin and he’d never looked so peaceful.

  “Hannah, we’re here,” Shane said shaking me from my reverie. I sighed in relief and slowly opening my eyes. “What were you thinking about?”

  “I was in my happy place,” I answered.

  “I hope I was there too,” he said grinning.

  “Shane, you are my happy place.”

  He cupped my cheeks in his hands and placed a searing kiss on my lips. I responded eagerly and opened my mouth, his tongue darting inside to taste me. A man sitting behind us cleared his throat and I giggled. I really hoped Shane and I would get a little privacy in Andrea’s dorm during this trip. She was staying on campus all summer in order to take a few extra classes and find an internship. Shane and I would be staying in one of the empty rooms on her floor. I wondered if Columbia dorms had thicker walls than UD. God I hoped so.

  Shane towed me through Penn Station as we dragged our luggage behind us. Thank goodness I hadn’t attempted this trip alone. The train station was huge and crowded. I felt tiny and lost in this city already. We had a twenty minute ride to Columbia’s campus. I was such an obvious tourist, staring out the window of the cab with wide eyes, pointing to interesting buildings and people we passed. There was so much to look at it was impossible to take it all in from a moving vehicle. The cab driver looked Middle Eastern and spent most of the ride yelling at someone through his wireless headset. In addition, he was also an erratic driver and I had to knock Shane down to second most frightening person to drive with.

  We finally made it to Andrea’s dorm and I called her on my cell so she could come downstairs and let us into the building. She hugged us both in excitement and took one of the bags from Shane’s hands as she led us up the stairs to her room. Steve was already there and we took a few minutes to relax and talk about our day of travel. Andrea offered us bottles of water from her mini fridge and gave us a tour of the dorm. The Broadway building was old and beautiful. There was so much history there.

  The floor plan was similar to the UD dorms only every room was a single and the bathrooms were down the hall. She showed us the kitchen area and the lounge which both seemed homey and lived in.

  “This is your room,” Andrea said handing me a brass key. “There are a lot of students staying for the summer but this room is going to be empty for another two weeks so my RA said it would be no problem for you to stay here.”

  “Thank you, Andrea. This is great,” I told her looking around the room.

  “I know there’s only a single bed in here but I didn’t think you’d want separate rooms,” she guessed.

  Shane smiled and said, “We’re used to it. My room at UD is a single as well.” I blushed as Shane subtly revealed how often he shared his bed with me. Andrea and I talked about a lot of things. Sex wasn’t usually one of them. I knew she and Steve had slept together but it wasn’t a subject she felt comfortable discussing, even with her best friend.

  Andrea left us to settle in and said we could leave for dinner whenever we were ready. I hadn’t eaten since before we left Newark so I was famished. Shane and I took a few minutes to unpack some of our belongings and I went to the bathroom to wash up from the trip. We both changed our clothes and took a few minutes to kiss and cuddle in the process before meeting Steve and Andrea in her room.

  “I thought we could have dinner at Rack & Soul. They have really good food and a lot of students eat there,” Andrea suggested.

  We walked the six blocks to the restau
rant and Andrea pointed out Tom’s Diner along the way. I was practically star struck to see the restaurant featured on Seinfeld and made Shane pose for a picture with me in front of it. He chuckled at my enthusiasm and kissed my cheek as Steve snapped the picture with my phone. We were seated at Rack & Soul immediately since it wasn’t quite time for the dinner rush. Our waiter was an attractive young man, probably a college student, with a white t-shirt that read “nice rack” across the chest. We ordered our food and Steve complimented the guy’s shirt, earning him a slap on the arm from Andrea. The waiter, Brett, informed us the shirts were for sale by the cashier if he wanted one. I laughed as Andrea told him politely that we weren’t interested.

  “So you’re staying on campus all summer, Andrea?” Shane said, opening up the conversation.

  “Yeah. My parents were really upset but I was able to fit three courses into my schedule and still have time for an internship. I really want to graduate early so I can get a head start on grad school.”

  “That’s very ambitious,” he replied.

  Andrea looked at Steve and smiled wide. “Steve’s graduating next May and I’ll still have four more years before I get my masters so I’m trying to get as much of a head start as I can,” she explained.

  “Hopefully I’ll find a job next year and we can move into an apartment together,” Steve said. “When Andy is done school we’re going to move back to New Jersey.”

  “That’s the plan anyway,” said Andrea.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t even know what you’re going to school for,” Shane said somewhat embarrassed.

  Andrea smirked and said, “Family counseling. I want to help kids struggling with issues like bullying or divorce. And also help families stay together through difficult times.”

  Shane’s face lit up acknowledging their common interest. “I have similar aspirations I think. I’ve been considering NYU for graduate school. I want to practice family law with a concentration in adoption services.”