by Kris Tualla
She turned around and scanned across the racks for Matt. “Matt! Come here!”
He wound his way over and she explained what she found. “That’s hilarious,” he agreed. “Now, let’s choose our theme.”
“Scotland? Hollis suggested. “Or dinosaurs? Turquoise? Soup?”
“I love Scotland. Let’s see what we can find in a tartan—then include some whisky as our new item.”
“And our saving grace. People will go for that.”
“I would go for the monster in my soup,” Sveyn said as he wandered off. “It is a fun joke.”
Hollis flipped the ladle over. “Ninety-nine cents.” She looked up at Matt. “If we find something plaid here, we can afford to get some good whisky.”
“Over here.” Sveyn waved his arms.
“No way!” Hollis scurried over to the Viking. “Look at this, Matt—a miniature Scotch cooler.” She flipped it over. “Ten bucks!”
“Done!” Matt grinned at her. “Off to the grocery store and we are done in record time.”
Hollis walked to the front of the store with Matt’s arm casually draped over her shoulder. This feels right.
Her phone chimed a sound she didn’t recognize. She pulled it from her pocket and swiped the lock screen. She sucked a quick breath when she saw the display.
New message from S_Hart.
Chapter Thirty-One
Hi, babe!
Hollis bit her lips between her teeth to keep from laughing.
“Anybody I know?” Matt asked.
Hollis shook her head and kept her eyes on her phone. She had to hold it together if this ruse was going to work. “My captain.”
Matt’s eyebrows shot upward. “From out at sea?”
“Yeah. There are Wi-Fi apps you know—it doesn’t have to be through a cell tower.” Hollis texted back, holding her phone so Matt could watch if he wanted.
Hi, Sweetie. How’s sailing?
She stuck her phone back in her pocket. “Let’s pay for this stuff and go get the whisky.”
Matt hesitated like he wanted to know more, but then stepped up to the cashier and paid for the two items they were buying. As they exited the store and walked to Matt’s car, Hollis’s phone chimed again.
“You going to get that?” he asked.
Her ruse was working—Matt was at least curious if not outright jealous. Hollis decided to step up her game. “In the car. Do you know how to get to Safeway?”
Matt unlocked the car. “Yeah.”
Hollis opened the passenger door and got inside. She immediately retrieved her phone and opened the app. Sveyn leaned over the seat and she held the phone so he could see the screen.
We hit some rough waters off Baja. We’re clear now.
She replied: Glad you’re safe. I do worry sometimes.
That’s nice to know.
Matt started the engine. “Everything all right?”
Hollis looked up. “Rough waters off Baja but he’s fine.”
“There was a pretty decent storm. I saw it on the news last night.”
Stevie was doing her homework, apparently; Hollis would have to thank her for that. “I prefer not to know. It makes me crazy.”
She returned her attention to her phone as Matt drove out of the Goodwill parking lot and texted: I miss you so much.
Me, too. I miss the way your hair smells after a shower.
Hollis’s cheek warmed. She knew Stevie was writing the messages, but somehow they felt like they were from Sveyn.
And I miss the feel of your beard on my neck, she replied.
Just a few weeks, babe.
I know. Sail fast!
Back to my safe harbor. I will. Bye, babe.
Hollis sucked a breath. Why had Stevie chosen those words?
Bye, Captain.
She added a heart emoticon then turned off her phone.
Sveyn reached through the seat and laid his hand over hers. Hollis stared at it, wishing for the impossible so hard that her chest hurt.
*****
Hollis left her phone lying on Matt’s coffee table when she went to use the bathroom at his apartment. When she returned, she noticed it had been moved, just like she expected it would. She wondered if he had always checked up on her and she hadn’t noticed back then, or if her interest in another man had prompted his snooping today.
Either way, Hollis wasn’t worried about it—the ruse with her captain was part of her plan to make Matt step up. They were both in their thirties now and time was wasting if they wanted to marry and have a family. As much as she cared about Sveyn, and she truly did, the Viking was a dead end.
Well, sort of dead.
The thought occurred to Hollis that if she had checked up on Matt two years ago, she might not have been blindsided. Should she check up on him now? Was there a chance he might be looking at reconciliation with Suzan?
So, she asked.
“Reconcile?” Matt shook his head. “You don’t know what kind of woman she really is.”
Hollis sat on the couch next to him. “Tell me.”
“Rich women have a level of expectation that’s hard to describe. Everyone’s always trying to be the top of the pile—whatever pile they’re on at that moment.” Matt heaved a sigh. “It’s exhausting. And it gets in the way of intimacy, if you catch my drift.”
Hollis wanted answers, not drifts. “Sex?”
Matt cheeks reddened. “Well… yeah.”
“So Suzan is frigid?” Hollis gave him an incredulous look. “Didn’t you know that? I mean, didn’t you guys…”
Matt’s embarrassment became even more pronounced. “Yes. A couple times. But she said she really wanted to wait until we were married to do everything.”
Now Hollis’s cheeks flushed. “Everything?”
“You know. Besides just missionary-style.”
“Ah.” Hollis knew very well that Matt really enjoyed oral options—especially on the receiving end. “So when you did get married, nothing changed?”
Matt shook his head.
“And sex is the reason you wouldn’t go back?” Hollis needed to be clear on what she might be up against, should she decide to fully engage.
“Not just sex,” Matt stated. “But good sex would have made the rest tolerable. At least I think it would have.”
Hollis highly doubted that, but didn’t argue the point. She knew she had to ask the next question and hoped Matt would be honest.
“How was our sex life? I mean, really.”
Matt’s mouth twisted and he stared at his hands, resting on his thighs. His fingers flexed and wrinkled his jeans. “I never told you, but I was a virgin when I met you.”
Hollis sat up straight and smacked his arm hard with the back of her hand. “Matt Wallace! Are you kidding me?”
“Ow!” He rubbed his arm. “That hurt!”
Hollis didn’t care. “We were both virgins? Why did you tell me you weren’t?”
“Because I wanted you to think I knew what I was doing.” Matt scowled at her. “My manhood was at stake.”
Hollis flopped back against the couch and covered her face. “And all that time I wondered how I compared to your previous lovers.” Her hands fell away and turned into fists. “I am so pissed at you right now!”
“Why? Because you were my first? ” He looked genuinely confused. “That’s messed up, Hollis.”
“No! Because you lied to me for ten years, you idiot.”
Sveyn reappeared after Hollis asked her sex life question and was now hovering in the apartment’s short hallway. What she said next was intended for both sets of ears.
“Women want—no, deserve—respect above all else. And that means being honest about everything in the relationship.” She glared at Matt. “Even if something is hard to say, hiding it only makes things worse.”
Matt nodded. “I get it.”
Hollis shot a glance in Sveyn’s direction.
“I cannot lie to you, Hollis,” he said.
“Hiding truths counts as lies, y
ou know,” she countered. “In case you are doing that.”
Matt played with the UWM college ring on his right hand. “I get that, too.”
Sveyn backed out of her sight and said nothing.
Hollis got off the couch and went to Matt’s fridge. He had a six-pack of White Barrel beer with three bottles left. Hollis grabbed one, popped the top, and took a long sip. The microbrew was amazing
She looked at Matt and held up a second bottle. “You want one?”
“Yeah.” He stood and walked toward her.
Hollis held her ground as Matt approached until they were standing face to face, close enough for her to feel the heat from his body. He accepted the beer with his left hand and set it on the counter beside her. With his right hand he reached for the bottle opener on her other side.
Hollis was surrounded.
She looked up into Matt’s eyes. A flood of repressed memories swamped her. The man was gorgeous and sexy and damn but she wanted him back.
Matt leaned down and kissed her softly. He held back, waiting to see what she would do.
Hollis let him wonder for a moment.
He shifted his weight forward, so that their bodies were in full contact from chest to knees. His kiss deepened.
She crumbled.
Her brain was screaming get out before it’s too late, but lower parts of her frame were telling it to shut up. While dream sex had its advantages, holding a flesh-and-blood man, especially one whose bulges and valleys were so familiar to her touch, was intoxicating. Overwhelming.
Dangerous.
Hollis put her palms against Matt’s chest, pushing him away and leaning backwards over the counter.
“Not yet…” was all she could manage. Her lips were on fire and her groin ached. Her breath was infuriatingly uneven.
Matt stared at her. “Why not?”
“Because this is too fast.” Hollis slid sideways to freedom. “We are not back together yet.”
Matt calmly opened his beer, then turned around and leaned on the same edge of the counter which she had just abandoned. His eyelids were heavy and his lips curled in a sultry smile. “And why aren’t we?”
“Because I don’t trust you,” Hollis declared before she could chicken out. She pointed at the coffee table where her phone still lay. “And you don’t trust me. You read my messages from Captain Hart.”
Matt recoiled. “How did you—”
“I set my phone on a forty-five degree angle when I went to the bathroom.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes.” Hollis gripped her beer tightly enough to whiten her knuckles. “I expected you to snoop, so I paid attention.”
Matt took a long pull on his beer, lowered the bottle, and began to worry the label with his thumbnail.
“Why did you expect me to snoop?” he asked after a long silence.
“Because you want to know what you’re up against.” Hollis squared her shoulders. “And you aren’t used to losing.”
“It’s true. I don’t want to lose you, Hollis. Not again.”
Hollis couldn’t let that comment slide by. “You never ‘lost’ me, Matt. You threw me away. When are you going to own up to that?”
He reached for her. “Hollis—”
She pushed his hand away. “Because if you don’t stop trying to rewrite what happened between us, then none of this is going to work. Ever.”
Matt looked defeated. “You’re right.”
Hollis took another draught from her bottle, wondering if he would say more.
His eyes narrowed. “You’ve changed.”
“Yeah, well. Heartbreak does that to a person.”
Hollis finished her beer in one long gulp and set the empty on the counter.
Then she took Matt’s beer out of his hand.
“Take me home.”
Friday
December 25
Hollis was feeling much more generously toward Matt as she drove him to Miranda’s house for Christmas dinner. Last night had helped.
Sveyn wanted to go to church. “I lost my life, as it was, defending the new religion. Christmas Eve is very important to me. And, I am curious to see what traditions have survived, other than the evergreen tree and Saint Nikolas.”
So Hollis looked up churches online and found one nearby that had a candlelight service at eleven o’clock. She excused herself from Matt’s company at ten, sending him home after they wrapped the white elephant gift well enough to disguise what it contained.
Rather than freeze outside in the car for an hour, she had slipped inside and sat in the back. Sveyn walked to the front. He knelt and crossed himself, then sat in a pew between an older couple and a single woman.
Hollis relaxed after the service began, knowing no one would try to talk to her at that point. She really didn’t want anyone asking her why a stranger had joined them that night. Her truth was unbelievable, and she didn’t feeling like lying in a church.
The scripture reading from the book of Luke was familiar to her because of the Peanuts cartoon she watched every year growing up. She found it unexpectedly soothing. The Christmas hymns lifted her mood as well and she even sang along.
When the service was finished, she hurried out.
“I’m in the car when you’re ready,” she said softly, knowing Sveyn would hear her.
When he did get in the car, he was quiet. Hollis waited for him to say something, and when he didn’t she asked him what he thought.
He turned to look at her, his expression an odd mix of peace and frustration. “I am glad that I went, Hollis. Thank you for taking me.”
“You’re welcome, Sveyn,” she murmured.
At the next stoplight on the way to Miranda’s, Hollis turned to look at Matt. She could see Sveyn in the rearview mirror. “Merry Christmas, by the way.”
“Merry Christmas,” the two men answered together.
Matt was looking at a weather app on his phone. “Sixty-five degrees. A high of seventy-two is expected.”
“Very nice!” Hollis grinned. “What’s the temperature in Milwaukee?”
“Twenty-one. A high of twenty-eight is expected.”
“Snow?”
“Eight inches on the ground.”
Hollis laughed. “I was reluctant to give up my white Christmas, but I have to admit it’s nicer not to freeze.”
Matt reached over and squeezed her hand. “I’m just glad I’m with you.”
Hollis smiled at him, glad he was with her. If nothing else, he was fine man-candy. When her phone-messaging app chimed, she asked Matt to read the message to her since she was driving.
Matt squinted at the screen and cleared his throat, obviously not thrilled with the task. “It says: Merry Christmas, babe.”
“Aww. He’s so sweet.” Hollis turned down Miranda’s street. “I’ll answer him after we get there.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
It was actually sweeter of Stevie to take the time out of her family’s celebration to play their game. Hollis decided later that night to give her friend a nice gift card to shop the after-Christmas sales as thanks for her help.
The company at Miranda’s party was fine, the food was pretty good, and the white elephant gift exchange was hilarious. Hollis walked out with a cute set of mugs with saguaro cactuses on them, which she planned to regift to her mom in February.
“All in all, a good time,” she said to Matt as they snuggled on his couch with glasses of wine and watched A Christmas Story. That movie was their traditional end to Christmas day back when they were together and it felt good to watch it now.
Hollis yawned.
“None of that,” Matt teased.
“Sorry. But all that food and all that laughter; I’m worn out.”
Matt tightened his arm around her. “And cuddling on the couch with wine doesn’t help.”
Hollis yawned again and heaved a happy sigh. “It’s all good.”
She woke up long after the movie was over. Matt was watching some hunting s
how.
“Oh no, I slept through it.” She pushed the lap blanket off of her and sat up. “I’m sorry.”
Matt smiled and tucked a loose hank of hair behind her ear. “Don’t be. It felt like old times.”
Hollis stretched, trying to wake up, and looked around for her shoes. “I should go.”
“Do you have to?”
She gave him the sternest look she could muster. “I am not sleeping with you.”
And there’s Sveyn.
Trust the Viking to appear whenever her conversation with Matt hinted at anything sexual.
“I’m not asking you to sleep with me,” Matt said. “I asking if you want to spend the rest of the night here, instead of going out into the cold, and risk driving home when you’re only half-awake.”
“Oh.” Hollis scratched her head and then tried to run her fingers through her hair. The offer was tempting. Very tempting. “In your bed?”
“Not necessarily. This is a sleeper sofa. We’ll even keep our clothes on.”
Hollis nodded. “That I can agree to.”
“Good. Now get up and I’ll make the bed.”
Hollis stood. “I’m going to wash up while you do.”
Sveyn followed her to the bathroom. “Do not have sexual congress with that man.”
“I’m not,” she whispered once the bathroom fan was on. She turned on the faucet, letting it run until the water got hot. “I’m just too tired to drive home.”
She looked up at the Viking, his words having just sunk in. “Sexual congress?”
“What do you call it?”
“Just plain having sex.” Hollis giggled silently. “You’re funny.”
She washed her face and rinsed out her mouth. Then she removed her bra and folded it to fit in her purse. “I wish I had a comb… Oh, well.”
Hollis padded barefoot back out to the living room. Matt had opened the sofa bed, brought a down comforter from his bed, and stacked every pillow in his apartment as a backrest. He went into his room to change and returned in flannel pants and a t-shirt.
He handed her a set of flannel pajamas. “Unless you’re comfortable in your jeans and sweater.”
“Oh—thank you!” Hollis grabbed the flannels and changed in the bathroom. This time when she returned, Matt had opened another bottle of wine and was making a plate of cheese and crackers.