‘I do, but it all hinges on access to her room and whether I can get hold of a certain product out here. Give Mr. Sumo a kiss from me, sweetie, got to go.’
‘What about a kiss for–’
I cut her off and dialled the concierge to ask if he could get me a pot of Vicks Vaporub, a sealable plastic food bag, and some disposable gloves, which he appeared with less than ten minutes later, receiving a large tip for his efforts. I shoved all of the items in my clutch bag, then went in search of Martine, the wedding planner.
‘I can’t allow any guests into a suite that doesn’t belong to them, Miss Carter. Absolutely not,’ she replied when I asked the question.
‘You saw what she did. Doesn’t she deserve a little payback?’ I moaned, pulling my best pleading pout and big watery eyes.
‘Even if my key card allowed me access anywhere in the hotel, even into suite six-hundred and sixty-five where the lady in question is staying, I would be sacked on the spot if I simply gave it to you. I’m sorry. While I sympathise and understand how you might want to exact a little revenge, I can’t be complicit. Now if you’ll excuse me,’ she retorted, ‘I need to make sure that the entrées are on their way up. We’ll be serving in less than ten minutes.’
‘Ok,’ I sighed. Damn. Mission Impossible really was mission impossible. Tom Cruise made it all look so easy. My cunning plan had been thwarted. I watched Martine as she walked away and saw something fall from her hand, clattering on the marble floor. I went to pick it up and frowned to find it was a key card. I looked back up and saw her smile at me over her shoulder, then give me a quick wink before she strode away. Good old Martine. Mission impossible had just become mission … on!
I headed up the steps towards the lift and scanned the area, where I spotted Fi-Fi flirting outrageously with another guest, her inflated beach ball tits virtually spilling out of her dress. Hussy! Pushing her in the pool would have been no payback at all, she’d have floated with those ridiculously large buoyancy aids. I hurried to the lift and took it down to the sixth floor, looking left and right up the corridor. The coast was clear.
I pulled on my gloves, then flattened myself against the wall and pulled my hair forwards over my face. I was hoping that would disguise me in case any cameras were watching and I got into trouble if this was reported. I moved sideways up the corridor, my back to the wall, occasionally pulling my hair aside to see what progress I’d made towards her suite. When I finally made it to number six-six-five, I did wonder why she hadn’t been put in suite six-six-six, seeing as she was the devil incarnate. I peeked through my mane to check that the coast was clear again and entered her suite, quickly closing the door behind me.
I searched the bathroom first, looking through all of her toiletries, but came up empty handed.
‘Georgie, it’s me,’ I whispered as she answered her phone.
‘The fact that you rang me from your number and your face came up on my screen sort of gave it away,’ she grinned. ‘Why are you whispering?’
‘I’m in her suite, looking for something. If you were a pot of vaginal orgasm enhancer, where would you hide if you weren’t in the bathroom?’
‘What’s vaginal orgasm enhancer?’ she asked, her blue eyes widening.
‘The name’s not clear enough?’ I scoffed. ‘You know, stuff you rub down there to make your lady parts tingle.’
‘Oooooh, where do you get that? Does it work?’
‘I’ve never tried it to be honest, but as part of Julia’s spa-break hen weekend, we were all given a saucy bag, and there was some in it. At Annabelle’s hen night, Fi-Fi was raving about it, saying she carries a pot with her all the time, it’s that good. She called it “women’s Viagra.” Swears by it.’
‘So you’ve gone in her suite to steal it? Ewww! Go buy your own pot, you cheapskate!’
‘I’m not looking for me, Georgie. Like I need to when I have Miller.’
‘Oh right, good point. So what are you doing with it?’ she asked. I started giggling and had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself down at the thought of it.
‘Remember that really bad cold I had in November?’
‘Hmmm.’
‘Well, I was using Vicks Vaporub on my chest and I mustn’t have washed my hands properly, as I was needing a little … tension relief that night and boy, does it have an extra effect they don’t advertise on the pot!’
‘What effect?’ she gasped.
‘Do I have to spell it out?’
‘Obviously!’
‘It made me tingly, you know, down there.’
‘Oh! How tingly are we talking?’
‘Very excitingly tingly for the first thirty seconds, then owww-this-stings-like-a-mofo for about an hour afterwards. I had to sit in a cold bath to try and cool my … you-know-what down.’ I winced at the reminder.
‘You’re going to swap her orgasm cream for Vaporub?’ she shrieked.
‘Sssshhhh,’ I giggled. ‘Am I taking it too far?’
‘Hell no!’ she shot back. ‘I’d try and find her vibrator and smother that in it as well.’
‘Now it’s my turn to say “Ewww.” I don’t want to touch that, thank you very much!’
‘Excellent point,’ she nodded. ‘Ok, ok, if I was a pot of orgasm cream that might be needed for a spur-of-the-moment urge, where would I hide?’ She bit her lower lip as we both had a think.
‘Bedside table!’ we shouted at once. I scurried over and opened the drawer, and sure enough, there it was, hidden behind the Bible.
‘I’m going to go to hell for this,’ I moaned as I set the Bible aside and pulled out her pot. I scooped out the cream, praying I wouldn’t see any stray pubic hairs in there, then dumped it in the ziplock bag. When I was done, I transferred the Vaporub into the orgasm cream tub and shut it tightly, then shoved it back in place.
‘What if she smells it first? That eucalyptus scent is pretty powerful.’
‘Please. The amount of nose reconstructions she’s had, not to mention drugs she’s snorted over the years, I’d be amazed if she has any sense of smell left. Besides, I may not have any of this cream, but I doubt you stick your nose in it first. I just have to hope that she’s slathered it on before she notices something’s amiss.’
‘Oh, she’ll soon notice something’s amiss if she does rub it in. The hotel staff are going to find her, legs akimbo, in the ice dispensing machine,’ Georgie cackled, setting me off again. I made sure I peeled the gloves off, turning them inside out as I did to avoid getting any of the sticky mixture on my fingers, before I wiped my eyes. ‘You just have to hope she’s feeling in a frisky mood soon.’
‘If only I knew a man she’d give her eye teeth to sleep with,’ I grinned. ‘Miller’s going to have to pull out all of the flirtation stops with her tonight. Wind her up, then walk away, leave her panting for some relief.’
‘You’re evil, Abbie Carter. Evil. And I love it! Where were you when I needed revenge on my cheating partner?’
‘Too busy consoling you, sweetie, but it’s never too late. Crap, speaking of late, they’ll be serving the food upstairs. I’d better go back before I’m missed.’
‘I wish I could be a fly on the wall in that room tonight,’ Georgie pouted.
‘Me too,’ I agreed.
I disposed of the gloves and bag in one of the receptacles outside the lift and headed up to find everyone was taking their seats. I hurried over to where Martine was barking orders into her Bluetooth device, ticking items off the huge list on her clipboard. She raised her eyebrows in an unspoken question when she saw me. I gave her a discreet nod and slipped the card into her jacket pocket as I asked which table I was supposed to be at.
‘Thank you,’ I over-emphasised
‘You’re welcome,’ she smiled.
‘Where have you been?’ Miller asked as he held out my seat for me.
‘Let’s just say if payback’s a bitch, you’re looking right at her.’
‘What did you do?’ he groaned.
‘We’ll talk after dinner, but you owe me a favour for hiding who you were from me, and I intend to collect.’
‘You said you understood and it wasn’t an issue,’ he reminded me as he took his seat.
‘Do you know nothing about women?’ I uttered. ‘We tell you all is forgiven and that something won’t be brought up again, when really we have every intention of blackmailing you with it time and time again for the rest of eternity.’
‘Am I going to regret this favour?’ he sighed.
‘She will,’ I grinned. I just about stopped myself from rubbing my hands together in glee, Dr. Evil style.
Chapter Seven
Doing The Locomotion
August
‘I CAN’T BELIEVE I’VE never been out here,’ Miller observed as he carried Sumo out through the kitchen French doors while I followed, carefully balancing a tray with our lunch on it.
‘Well, you’re experiencing the rare phenomenon of a British summer. And on a Saturday for everyone to enjoy, too. If we’re really lucky, it will last all day before the rain returns or it starts hailing or snowing.’
‘It’s an amazing view,’ he nodded as he looked around.
‘Hardly Central Park,’ I scoffed. I was still adjusting to the news he’d shared with me in New York. Telling someone you were wealthy was one thing. Showing them was something completely different. I swore I already had a bruise on my chin from the amount of times it had hit the floor before I’d headed home with him last weekend, in his private jet no less.
‘Still stunning, in a very different way. There you go, boy,’ he added, setting Sumo down on the blanket he’d spread out on the grass earlier, next to my patio table and chairs. ‘Some fresh air and sunshine will do you good.’
I smiled even more when Sumo started wiggling his big butt, signalling his delight in this plan, then turned around and around, circling incessantly as he panted before finally flopping down and rolling onto his back for a tummy rub. He just adored Miller, and it made me happy to see my pooch so content, even if he was never like that with me. I swore he pined for Miller when he left, even more than I did. I dished up the grilled chicken salad and opened a couple of bottles of cold beer as Miller gave Sumo the fuss he was demanding.
‘Abbie?’
‘Miller?’
‘Why do you have a set of train tracks in your backyard?’
‘Garden. A backyard sounds like something that’s been filled in with concrete.’
‘Don’t overload me, I’m still getting over the whole pants, fanny-pack, and vest misunderstandings,’ he chuckled. ‘So?’
‘My dad,’ I nodded, taking in a deep breath as my eyes automatically drifted towards the large studio room down at the bottom of the garden. The one he’d done up to look like a country station, complete with signals and station name. ‘He was a train enthusiast and when he retired, he purchased a working miniature train and some carriages to attach to it, and he could sit on it and go all of the way around the back garden. That was the main station down there,’ I advised, pointing to it. ‘He spent most of his free time in there tinkering. Sumo loved it. Dad adapted it with a flat-bed carriage that Sumo used to sit on as he circled the garden. He even put on a large starter switch that he taught Sumo to press so he could go for a ride without us.’
‘Seriously?’ Miller laughed.
‘Seriously,’ I nodded. ‘Whenever we visited, he’d waddle out of the dog flap, climb onto the train, and press the switch. He’d stop it himself wherever he fancied getting off for a sniff, or a poo, then he’d climb back on it again to come home. Or he’d just circle the garden again and again, panting like he was doing doggy circuit training. I swear that train was the reason he started refusing to go for a walk. He got lazy.’
‘Now I get why he loves his pull-along contraption so much. Does the train still work?’ Miller asked, taking the beer I offered.
‘No,’ I sighed, sitting down next to him and taking a swig of my own. ‘Dad was the mechanical genius, I’m the mathematical one. It worked for a few years after I moved in, but when it stopped one winter, I put the train away in his studio. I meant to get it repaired, but … I just never got around to it. To be honest, it’s a bit of a specialised thing, I wouldn’t know where to start.’
‘I’d love to see it, if you don’t mind me looking in your dad’s studio?’
‘I’ll get you the key after lunch. I’m not sure I’m ready to go back in there though,’ I confessed. Even just talking about Dad, being hit with visuals of him on the train and Sumo grunting with delight as they’d trundled around the garden together on it while I’d sat with a glass of wine and watched, was painful.
Wednesday
I kissed Miller goodbye over the half-stable door, and he waved me off as he stood with Sumo in his arms. He was only here for a couple of weeks and I really wanted to spend every day with him, but I’d already promised the Joneses a trip up to the coast. They were too doddery now to drive themselves. In fact, the last time David had gone out in their car, he’d managed to hit three others as he tried to park. I’d suggested Miller come, but he’d told me he could do with using my office to deal with some business-related matters. Instead, Georgie had asked if she could come, so I’d packed up a large picnic hamper and a few blankets so that we could have lunch on the beach. The old couple loved to play the slot machines, so that was the plan for the afternoon, out of the glare of the sun, followed by a fish and chip supper as we listened to the tide coming in, before we headed home.
‘Ok, everyone buckled up?’ I asked as I put the car in reverse.
‘Aye-aye, Captain,’ Georgie nodded next to me.
‘This is so good of you, Abbie,’ Daphne smiled as I looked over my shoulder to check on them.
‘No trouble at all. I’ve been looking forward to it.’
‘Should have asked Heath to come. I think he’d get on really well with Georgie, isn’t it,’ David stated.
‘First you were trying to fix him up with Abbie, now Georgie, just let it rest. He’s a grown man, he can find his own dates,’ Daphne scolded, as Georgie and I grinned at each other with a roll of our eyes.
We settled the couple down in their deck chairs, sitting on the blankets on the sand. I’d managed to nab a spot right next to the steps up to the car park that bordered the beach, so they didn’t have to walk too far. They had parasols to protect them from the sun, and a few bottles of beer in the cooler box for David and a small bottle of Daphne’s favourite wine. Georgie and I kicked off our shoes and raced each other down the beach to the water, screeching at how cold it was as we waded out, knee deep, having come prepared in our shorts.
‘How amazing is it that we have this an hour from our house?’ she exclaimed in awe as we looked up and down the Welsh coastline, the rugged coastal view stretching on for miles.
‘Sumo used to love coming here as a puppy. Dad would throw a stick and Sumo’s little legs would work overtime to go fetch it and repeat, over and over. He’d paddle in the water and come and shake it all over me while I lay reading a book and sunbathing.’ I sighed at the memories.
‘The vet has no idea how long he has?’ Georgie asked gently.
‘No,’ I replied, blinking back some tears. ‘He doesn’t seem to be in any pain. I’ve just got to watch for signs of him deteriorating and make a decision then.’
‘As long as he’s happy, you’re doing all that you can,’ she said reassuringly, and I nodded.
‘Do you think Miller’s happy?’ I asked hesitantly.
‘What? Where did that come from?’ she responded, shooting me a concerned look. I shrugged and averted my gaze, looking out to sea.
‘He’s some huge … mogul, Georgie. I was stupid the other night, I looked him up on the internet and there were hundreds of pictures of him with glamorous women dripping from his arm. I’m so not his type. Then there’s …’ I shook my head. I was making more of a throwaway question than there was to make.
‘He chose you,
sweetie. He even admitted to me that he’d never had a relationship before. They were arm candy, one-night stands for a guy that didn’t want any more at the time. Who wouldn’t have their head spun earning the sort of money he has at his young age? He’s grown up now though, he wants more. He wants you.’
‘I guess,’ I nodded, my old insecurity of being “undateable Abbie Carter” rearing its head again.
‘What were you going to say?’
‘Huh?’ I gave her a puzzled look.
‘You made your very incorrect observations, then said, “Then there’s” and never finished,’ she reminded me.
‘He asked me if I could ever see myself living in a city like New York.’
‘He did? You think he’s testing the water before he asks you to move there with him? What did you say?’
‘I didn’t think when he asked it. I think I said something along the lines of “Hell, no,” then I realised he might have been seeing how I felt and I’d just completely shot him down.’
‘Would you move there?’
‘I love him, Georgie, like crazy “I want to scream his name from the rooftops” love him, but even for him …’ I took a deep breath as I admitted it to myself for the first time. ‘No, I don’t want to live in New York. I love the peace and quiet too much. I’m a country girl at heart, I always will be. There’s Sumo to consider, and my best friend who needs me as much as I need her.’ I flashed her a smile, which she returned. ‘The Joneses too, then all of the memories of Dad here. But Miller’s business is over there. He’s not going to move to a sleepy village like Dilbury. It’s hardly the commercial capital of Shropshire, let alone England.’
‘Well, selfishly I’m happy to hear you’re staying put, but keep an open mind. Maybe one day you’ll want a new adventure, and we’ll be friends wherever you live. I’m not that easy to shake off. Besides, “trout pout” Abbie has been laid to rest. I haven’t seen you looking so happy since I met you.’
‘I’ll give you “trout pout,”’ I scoffed, as I bent down to scoop a load of seawater in my hands and chucked it at her. She shrieked and splashed me back, so I started kicking water in her direction and she retaliated until we were both soaked and laughing so hard we were crying. ‘Come on, I need to sit down and dry off, and I’m starving.’
Never the Bride (Dilbury Village #1) Page 12