‘I know,’ he sighed. ‘Deep down I knew that, which is why I wouldn’t have come yet.’
‘But you did, you came for Valentine’s Day. Well, it would have been if I was on New York time,’ I reminded him.
‘Because I realized that on the most romantic day of the year, there was only one person I wanted to be with. You have no idea how much it hurt me when he opened that door.’
‘Nothing happened, I promise.’ I propped myself up on one elbow as I looked down at him, searching his deep brown eyes to see if he believed me.
‘I believe you, and I had Georgie and Daphne call me to tell me the same thing, to try and get me to come back.’
‘They did? Oh, they’re just the sweetest,’ I sighed, my heart warming at the thought of my amazing friends and neighbours.
‘They love you, and despite this mess we’re in, so do I, Abbie.’
‘So we’re back at square one, aren’t we? What do we do?’
‘We don’t call this goodbye, and even though we won’t see each other, we’ll act as if we’re in a relationship, even if we’re not.’ He held my gaze as I frowned, confused at what he was suggesting. He flipped onto his side, mirroring my pose, and reached up to grip my chin as he ran his thumb back and forth over my lower lip, making my breath hitch. ‘I think I’ve found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, Abbie, and I hope you feel the same, but … it’s obviously just not our time right now.’
‘So you’re saying we stay faithful to each other, even though we won’t be seeing each other, and hope that at some stage we’re both in the same place?’
‘Yes,’ he nodded. I closed my eyes and sighed, then shook my head as I felt my heart shatter all over again.
‘I hate saying this, but that doesn’t work for me either. I could be waiting for years, possibly forever. I can understand your reluctance, I hurt you when I ended it, like your parents hurt you by abandoning you, but I’m tired of being alone, Miller. I’m ready to give you all of me, and I want the same in return, not a “maybe someday in the future”. It might be a great offer for most girls, but it’s not enough for me. It’s like being told I’ve got the most delicious box of gourmet chocolate truffles, but I’m only allowed a tiny sliver every day and the box has to last me for years. I’d rather have no truffles at all than be tortured.’
‘I’m a box of chocolate truffles?’ he grinned, his cute dimples coming out full force, though his eyes showed his disappointment in my decision.
‘Gourmet truffles. The best I ever had,’ I added in a whisper.
‘Likewise,’ he nodded. ‘And that means a lot, Abbie.’
‘Will you stay, just for a few days? I’m feeling pretty vulnerable at the moment and I’d really like for you to be here to help scatter Sumo’s ashes in the garden.’ I felt myself tear up at the reminder that I’d just lost an important male in my life and was about to lose another.
‘I’ll stay, I want to be by your side when you do,’ he agreed, then pulled me back down against him. ‘Who’d have thought a generally miserable mutt called Mr. Sumo could make an ocean between us evaporate, even if it is only for a few days.’
‘Being miserable was his thing, and I’m going to miss it, terribly. But I sure as hell won’t miss his vapour.’
Miller chuckled and tightened his arms around me, and I closed my eyes and reminded myself that this was just another relationship on borrowed time, and I had to make the most of it while I still had him.
Chapter Twelve
Dress Twelve
April
‘OH MY GOD! QUICK, hide,’ I urged, grabbing Georgie’s hand as I dragged her to the large bushy hedge that separated the village shop we’d just left from the main road.
‘What, what is it?’ she protested as we crouched behind the overgrown green mass.
‘Max Kirkland coming this way, looking all handsome and debonair. I can’t face him again, not after turdgate.’ I scowled at Georgie as she started giggling. ‘Don’t. I mean, Sumo slobbers on him, and then I ruin morning tea, as well as his conservatory roof. I just can’t look him in the eye. I felt so bad I sent him a letter confessing and apologising, and deeply regretted it the moment I put it in the post box.’
‘That’s how you bruised your hand last week,’ she gasped. ‘You were trying to haul it out.’
‘Yes well, I seem to have a habit of sticking my hand where it shouldn’t go, don’t I?’
‘Why did you post it? With the exception of the church between you, you’re actual neighbours, you could have hand delivered it.’
‘I might have been seen. It was embarrassing enough facing them on the day, I wasn’t about to return to relive the humiliation. I mean, it’s not just him or his mother. The butler knew, as well as the groundsman who probably had to rescue it, and I bet it went around the rest of the staff, most of whom live in the village.’
‘Imagine how I felt sitting there, especially when they both looked at me for answers before you came down. You really dropped me in it, Abbie, it was a real strain. That’s one funny disaster you won’t be flushing any time soon,’ she winked.
‘Enough with the toilet puns,’ I groaned. I’d had them non-stop from her since it had happened.
‘Oh, don’t be a spoilsport, just brush it off,’ she teased.
‘Sssshhhh,’ I warned, as we heard the distinctive sound of the steel taps on his handmade leather shoes striking off the pavement as he strode towards the shop.
‘Why’s he single?’ Georgie whispered as she peered through a gap in the foliage. ‘He’s very hot for an older guy.’
‘He’s only about eight years older than us. I bet the fête will be packed this year, now that everyone knows he’s on the market again.’
‘Hmmm, I’ll be there for sure,’ Georgie agreed, then both of us went silent and put our heads down as he approached.
‘Ladies, wonderful morning for … what exactly is it you’re doing down there?’ came Max’s distinctly well-to-do voice. Damn it, he was so tall he’d seen us over the hedge. I grimaced, not wanting to look up and relive my humiliation.
‘You know how fascinated Abbie is with animal poo, we’re on a foraging session for specimens,’ Georgie announced far too gleefully as she stood up.
‘You’re welcome to come and collect some from my stables, Miss Carter. Now if you could time depositing it somewhere visible during my mother’s next visit, you’d be doing me a huge favour.’
‘I’m so sorry, again,’ I mumbled as I stood up and avoided looking at his face.
‘After seeing the look of horror on Mother’s face, I may resort to begging you to repeat the incident. I’ve actually had a blissful month of peace as she’s been too mortified to return. I’m terribly sorry to hear about Mr. Sumo, my sincere condolences,’ he added, his voice full of warmth and sympathy. I swallowed hard and looked up, knowing it would be rude to avoid eye contact after that.
‘Thank you. On all counts,’ I stressed. He smiled, his grey eyes sparkling with amusement as he leaned in, as if he was about to share a very important secret. Hmmm, he wasn’t just a pretty face, buff body, and title. He smelled really good, too.
‘Contrary to village perception, I’m actually a little more down to earth than my predecessor, and I do have a sense of humour.’
‘You need one around Abbie,’ Georgie scoffed, then flashed me an apologetic look.
‘Well, I shall leave you to your … foraging. Enjoy your afternoon.’ His smile turned into a dazzling grin as he touched his fingers to his cap again and headed towards the shop entrance.
‘Wow, swoonworthy,’ Georgie sighed as she followed him with her eyes.
‘Ask him out,’ I suggested as I looped my arm through hers. ‘I could see you as Lady Kirkland, mistress of the manor.’
‘Me too,’ she nodded as we struck out for home. ‘But he’s not into me, I can tell.’
‘Well, he’s definitely not into me, turd-flinging woman,’ I giggled.
; ‘I think turd tosser has a better ring.’
‘I’d prefer neither title, thank you. Either way, I’m not wearing a turd-related fancy dress to the fête if I’ve not been barred for life. Could you imagine the look on his mother’s face if he announced our engagement?’
‘She looks like she’s sucking lemons as it is, I dread to imagine,’ Georgie laughed, casting one last look back at the shop as we walked away. ‘Anyway, I think he’s got his eye on Mrs. Smith.’
‘No,’ I gasped, shooting her a horrified look. ‘She’s in her late seventies, for goodness sake.’
‘Not that Mrs. Smith, the Mrs. Smith who lives a few doors down from shop on the hill. You know, Isla, the pretty one who was widowed a couple of years ago.’
‘Oh, her. Yes, she’s very attractive,’ I agreed. ‘Poor thing, she’s only a bit older than us, with a little boy, too.’
‘It’s so sad,’ Georgie nodded. The widow in question’s husband had been killed when his army convoy drove over some land mines in Afghanistan. The whole village had attended his funeral at the church, not just out of respect, but because he’d been a lovely guy, always helping out the elderly in the village. He’d even made a fuss over Sumo whenever he’d seen him.
‘She deserves to be happy, and to be spoiled by a rich, handsome man, after what she’s been through. I think we need to meddle, help speed things along.’
‘Wouldn’t a big high-society wedding in the village be amazing?’ Georgie exclaimed, her eyes lighting up at the thought as we turned right onto Church Lane.
‘Don’t remind me about weddings,’ I sighed. I was still feeling so guilty for saying yes when Tracey Tramwell, another girl from the stupid pact of fourteen, had asked if I was still ok to be one of the bridesmaids for her wedding which, much to my dismay, was later today. It wasn’t until I’d accepted that I’d realised it would take my bridesmaid dress collection to number twelve. One away from the dreaded number that would seal my fate as a spinster forever. And it meant that if Georgie wanted to get married, she’d be the one to put the final nail in the coffin. I’d recently found out that the final wedding I would have had to wear dress number thirteen for, my friend Pippa, wasn’t likely to happen. She had turned to religion and was considering a vow of abstinence and becoming a nun. Though no amount of penance was going to wash away the amount of sins she’d incurred as class slut for four years in a row, not to mention the introduction of alcohol and drugs to the midnight feasts.
‘I’m not getting married anytime soon, Abbie,’ Georgie reassured me. ‘You’ll be married before I ask you to wear the thirteenth bridesmaid dress, and the curse will be broken.’
‘You never know what’s around the corner,’ I reminded her, both of us waving as we passed the row of terraced workers’ cottages where some of our neighbours were gossiping on the Chormondley’s doorstep. ‘Love could hit you when you least expect it.’
‘Very true, but I still don’t think I’m ready. One day maybe. And speaking of one day, any news from Miller?’
‘No.’ I sighed at the reminder, having tried so hard to focus on other thoughts so I wouldn’t dwell on it and get sucked into a pit of misery again. ‘He’s messaged me a few times, but I haven’t replied. It just makes it harder to be in contact, knowing nothing’s going to come of it.’
‘I’m so frustrated for you. He loves you, I know he loves you, Abbie. I don’t understand why he’s holding back.’
‘Well, he is and there’s nothing I can do about it, so let’s focus on getting this damn service for Tracey out of the way this afternoon. What are you going to do with that lovely mane of yours?’ I asked, as we branched off Church Lane to head down the bumpy gravel and grass lane that led to our cottages.
‘I feel awful,’ I moaned as I smoothed the tight emerald green dress over my hips.
‘It’s a great colour on you,’ Georgie advised as she zipped it up.
‘I know, it’s up there in my top three of dresses, which isn’t hard as I hated the other nine. I mean because I shouldn’t be wearing it.’
‘You’d prefer to streak up the aisle? That’s one way to get yourself noticed, I guess,’ she teased as she stepped back to give me the once over.
‘I wonder if naturists do nude weddings or other important services,’ I mused. ‘Wouldn’t that go against a vicar’s religion to just let it all hang out?’
‘It goes against mine to think of Reverend Potter doing that,’ Georgie shuddered. ‘There’s no way I’d accept a mince pie from him after the annual carol service, not even if he washed his hands thoroughly in the font first.’
‘Change topic,’ I urged as I covered my eyes. ‘I’m getting a visual of the villagers naked singing “Little Donkey” and it’s seriously disturbing.’
‘Oh, all of them? How do Max and Heath look?’
‘A hell of a lot better than Mr. Benson,’ I giggled as I peeked out at her. ‘I heard he’s in a permanent state of flop, being too afraid to try Viagra again.’
‘Well, it was his fault for getting greedy after a few success stories and taking six of them in one go,’ Georgie scoffed as she handed me my diamond drop earrings. ‘Honestly, what did he expect?’
‘I don’t think he expected Mabel to try her luck with Mr. Arthur and leave him.’
‘When did Dilbury become a hotspot for randy, sexually active pensioners? Have you seen there’s now a condom stand in the shop? I think Mrs. Vickers sells more of those than tea bags. It’s not right. It’s supposed to be us youngsters that are having all of the fun.’
‘Maybe as my plus-one today, you’ll meet some hot usher and hit it off,’ I suggested as I secured the last earring in place.
‘Here’s hoping,’ she beamed. ‘Just try and stay out of trouble today.’
‘With Fi-Fi there, hell bent on revenge? I seriously doubt that’s going to happen,’ I responded, a feeling of foreboding washing over me. I was dreading it.
I took a deep breath as Georgie kissed me goodbye, got out of the taxi, and hurried into Shrewsbury Cathedral to take her place. I paid Andy and slowly got out, trying to stall the moment I had to join the group of excited bridesmaids standing outside on the pavement as they waited for Tracey to arrive. I spotted Fi-Fi immediately, her daggered glare towards me slowly turning into a smug smile. She made no move to approach me, so I avoided her and went to talk to some of the other girls, trying to keep her in my line of sight at all times. I was relieved when Tracey arrived and we were hustled into position, but soon groaned as Fi-Fi was directed to stand in front of me. I became progressively more nervous as she remained uncharacteristically silent as one by one, the girls started to filter in to the sounds of the organ announcing our arrival.
I resisted the urge to shove her as I followed her up the aisle, hoping that our tit-for-tat spat was actually over and had been laid to rest. She’d messed with me, I’d returned the favour, it was time to let it go. The cathedral was packed to the rafters. Tracey had gone all out with this wedding and had booked The Shrewsbury Domville for the reception. From what I’d heard, the bill for that six-star venue, and ultimate wedding package for maximum capacity, made many a father’s eye water, and not in a good way. Thankfully, despite a feeling that something terrible was going to happen, the service went without incident. Everyone clapped politely as the newly married couple kissed, signed the register, and headed back down the aisle.
‘I have to say you’re taking it incredibly well,’ came Fi-Fi’s squeaky voice.
‘Just because I’m one of the last two that are unmarried doesn’t mean I can’t be happy for Tracey,’ I replied, not turning to face her.
‘Oh, I wasn’t talking about Tracey. I was talking about Miller. As if it’s not hard enough that you weren’t woman enough to hold onto him, it must sting to see him with a date so soon after you broke up,’ she announced gleefully. I shot her a shocked look. Miller was here? With someone else? ‘Oh dear, you didn’t know? Hmmm, seems he didn’t let the sheets get cold before h
e went back to his old ways. Maybe there’s hope for me yet.’
I swallowed the words of anger I wanted to say back and gripped my white tulip bouquet tightly, determined not to let my right hand do what it was itching to do. Slap her. Or pull her hair. Or maybe even punch her. I’d quite happily do all three if I didn’t have all of the congregation’s eyes on me, as it was my turn to head back down the aisle. I kept my eyes focussed on the back of her head as I followed her, trying to work out if she was lying to try and get a rise out of me or if he really was here. I didn’t dare look for him, just in case. Thankfully, for once, the cathedral had no grounds for wedding pictures to be taken in, so the bridal party were all whisked by limousines the short distance along the old town walls to where The Domville stood at the top of the town park, overlooking the river. I needed the extra time to try and pull myself together. Everything seemed to happen at warp speed, and before I knew it, I was standing in the ballroom as canapés and champagne were being served to all of the guests who’d arrived. I felt claustrophobic and like I was going to hyperventilate.
‘Oh God, Abbie,’ huffed Georgie as she pushed her way through, looking like she’d run all of the way here. ‘Oh no,’ she sighed, her shoulders slumping. ‘You know, don’t you?’
‘You’ve seen him?’ I asked, my stomach churning at a rate of knots.
‘You haven’t?’ she replied, giving me a confused look as I shook my head. ‘Your expression, you look so devastated that I assumed you had.’
‘Fi-Fi told me, but I thought maybe she was just being spiteful. I look devastated? Really? Oh God, I thought I was hiding it well. If I look like that now, how am I going to look when I see him? Is it true? He’s here with someone?’
‘I’m so sorry,’ Georgie confirmed with a grimace. I knocked back the whole glass of champagne I’d snagged a moment ago, trying to dilute the hurt and anger that was bubbling inside of me, but it didn’t help. ‘I’m livid, Abbie. Absolutely livid! How could he? After what he said to you? I tried to go and have a word with him, to ask him to leave, but it was like he was avoiding me and disappeared every time I got close.’
Never the Bride (Dilbury Village #1) Page 21