by Deanna Chase
Right, Hanna thought. But if she didn’t sit and let her mother talk they were never going to be able to move past her mother’s concerns. So Hanna took a deep breath, grabbed her coffee and sat next to her mother. “Okay. I’m listening.”
“Rhys is one of the few people in this world who knows what it was like for you when we lost Charlotte,” her mother started.
“Yeah? So? That’s also because he was my one friend that was here for me when I really needed someone. He held me up, making sure I made it through the other side of my grief.”
“I know.” Mary’s tone was milder now. “And I’m grateful to him for that.”
“All right. So what’s the problem? The real problem? Because I know it’s not just because we broke up last year and had trouble keeping our friendship intact.”
“It’s selfish for him to want this with you, Hanna,” her mother said. “His family history…” She shook her head. “Are you really telling me neither of you are concerned that you’ll be moving ahead in your lives together and then one day he’s just gone?”
“That could happen with anyone. It could happen to me. What if I develop Charlotte’s autoimmune disease? Did you think of that? He could be the one stuck with a ticking time bomb.” Hanna spoke stiffly, hating that her mother was reducing him to the gene he carried.
“That’s not going to happen,” she said, as if it was a ridiculous statement. “You’ve made it almost to your thirties without any indication of that illness. Healer Snow says it’s very unlikely.”
“Yeah. I know what Snow said. I also know that nothing is certain. She’s never said I won’t succumb to the disease. In fact, she’s been careful to suggest that I need to keep my checkups current, because they never know when things might change.”
Mary pressed a hand to her forehead. “Hanna, be serious. No one thinks you’re going to end up with the disease. It’s why you’re a great control for Snow’s tests.”
“Fine. Whatever. I’m just saying that any of us could die at any moment. What if I get hit by a car or choke on a cashew? Does that make it unreasonable to fall in love, get married, have a kid or two?”
“No.” Mary stood up and slammed her hand on the table. “But it is unreasonable for a man to take a wife knowing his heart is on borrowed time. I’m angry at him because this is going to hurt so much worse, Hanna. I just want to spare you that pain.”
Hanna stared at her mother for a long time. Finally, she dropped her gaze to her folded hands resting on the table. “I heard you, Mom. What you haven’t heard, or maybe just refuse to see, is that I already love him that much. It will hurt no matter what our relationship status is, so I’m choosing him no matter the outcome. I’d rather be by his side for as long as I’m allowed, even if it’s just a few short years. That’s my choice. And I’ve already made it.”
“Fine.” Mary’s voice turned softer as she added, “But remember this conversation when this relationship moves forward and what it would mean for you and any children you have. What will your life look like if you lose him?”
Hanna’s head snapped up, and she glared at her mother, hurt beyond words. “That was a terrible thing to say to me.”
Tears sprang to Mary Pelsh’s eyes as she said, “I know, honey. But it’s a reality you have to face.” Then she hurried into the hall, and Hanna was certain she heard her sob as her mother ran up the stairs.
“Thank you for coming in, Hanna,” Healer Snow said as Hanna strolled into Snow’s office. The woman had her dark hair pulled up in a smart twist, and she was wearing a bright pink silk blouse that said ‘high-powered business woman’ rather than ‘earth-witch healer.’ “Take a seat, please.”
Hanna sat in an old gray office chair and rolled closer to the healer’s desk. The space was small and a little stark with its white walls and metal desk. But Healer Snow had optimistic energy that lit up most rooms. She was the type who was certain that if she just kept peeking under the furniture and around corners that eventually they’d find effective treatments or cures for even the most misunderstood diseases. “So, is there a new trial you need me to participate in?”
Healer Snow had been working on the autoimmune disease that had taken Charlotte for over fifteen years. When Hanna found out they needed blood donors from people who carried the gene that was largely responsible for the disease, she’d signed up immediately. If there was anything she could do to save someone else from Charlotte’s fate, she’d do it. Watching her sister live in pain and pretend to be perfectly fine so that she could enjoy the last days of her life had been torture.
Hanna had known just how sick Charlotte had been. She’d been there when Charlotte collapsed at night after she overdid it during the day just being a normal teenager. She’d witnessed the days when Charlotte couldn’t get out of bed and the days when she forced herself to even when the bags under her eyes were so bad it looked like someone had beaten her.
But Charlotte hadn’t let the illness hold her back. She’d lived and loved enough for an entire lifetime before she even graduated high school. And Hanna had been trying to emulate her ever since. Not that she’d had even a fraction of the challenges that Charlotte had. She just tried to remember that life was a gift and that to waste any of it on “what if” was an insult to Charlotte’s memory.
“Yes,” Snow said, nodding. “It’s not just to take blood, though. This one is a human trial to see if a drug can change the markers of the underlying causes of the autoimmune disease.”
Hanna frowned. “But I don’t have the disease.”
“That’s correct. But as we discussed before, you do have the markers for it, meaning that if the production of the autoantibodies in your blood stream rises, you’re at high risk for developing the disease. We want to use you as a control. See if your markers go down at all.”
Most of this was over Hanna’s head, but she trusted Healer Snow. “Would the drug make them go up?”
“Very unlikely. If it doesn’t work the way we think it will, likely the medication will just flush out of your body.”
Hanna shrugged. “Okay. Then sure. What do I need to do?”
“We’ll need a full blood workup to make sure nothing’s changed since your last checkup and then if all looks good, we’ll start you on a low dose of the drug next week.”
“Sounds good.” Hanna stood and put her hand out to Snow. “Thank you for always pushing to learn more. My sister,”—her voice caught on the word sister— “she deserved more people like you in this world.”
“And no doubt more people like you, Hanna. Thank you for always doing what you can for this research.” Snow shook Hanna’s hand with both of hers. “You’re one of the angels around here.”
Those tears stung Hanna’s eyes again, but she blinked them back. “We all just do what we can.”
“I suppose that’s true.” Healer Snow smiled at her. “Okay, have a good week. I’ll see you at the next appointment.”
“You, too.” Hanna let herself out of Snow’s office and headed to the lab.
Chapter Fifteen
Rhys sat on the plastic chair in the exam room waiting for Healer Snow as he stared at the exam table. He knew she’d ask him to sit on the end of it when she was ready to check his heart, but he wasn’t going to speed up the process. Every time he heard the crinkle of the paper when he took his spot on the vinyl table, he pictured his father lying unconscious on the floor.
He supposed if he told Snow about that particular reaction, she’d recommend a head doctor. But he knew all he needed was a good hike, or swim, or a ride in that Skyhawk. Anything to clear his mind. Or maybe he just needed a date with Hanna. It’d been four days since her mother had blown up on her and since then, he’d only had dinner with her once. But that was about to change. He had the night off, and six o’clock couldn’t come soon enough. He was itching to put his arms around her.
The door popped open, and Healer Snow walked in. She was wearing a bright pink filmy top and white pants, and he w
ondered how she managed to not get dirty within five minutes of getting dressed.
“Good morning,” she said, pulling up a black rolling chair and taking a seat a few feet in front of him. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.”
“Morning.” He gave her a reassuring smile. “I just got here a few minutes ago.”
“That’s very good, then. I love it when the day starts out on the right foot.” She flipped open the folder she’d been carrying. “So, how have you been feeling since your last visit? Anything different? How’s your energy level?”
“I’ve been feeling fine,” he said. “I did have a former healer touch me and say my levels were below normal. I haven’t noticed anything different, but I did pick up an energy potion at the local herb shop just in case.”
She nodded. “Are you still running?”
“Yep.”
“Hang gliding?”
“Sure. I just went last week.”
“Surfing?”
He laughed. “Not in a few weeks.”
“How about swimming? Last time we talked you were hitting the laps four times a week.”
“Not as much swimming lately. But I have been hiking some in the redwoods.”
“How many miles do you hike?” she asked, her pen already scrolling across the page.
“Depends on how much time I have, but usually five to ten miles roundtrip.”
She chuckled softly. “No wonder your energy levels were depleted. You’re the most active man I know. Any shortness of breath? Chest pains? Tingling sensations?”
He shook his head.
“Good.” She gave him a bright smile. “Mind getting on the table for me?”
He suppressed his groan and moved to the end of the exam table.
“You know the drill,” she said.
Normally Rhys wasn’t a self-conscious man, but sitting in the exam room, waiting to hear that his heart wasn’t going to self-destruct, he was suddenly shy as he unbuttoned his shirt to give her access to his chest.
“Let’s see what’s going on in there.” The healer pressed the cold metal piece of her stethoscope to his chest and told him to breathe normally. She moved it around a few times before pulling back. “Okay. You can button your shirt.”
He was silent as he put himself together. And then he waited as she read his recent EKG scans. She scribbled more notes and then closed the folder and smiled at him.
“So… will I live?” he asked, his tone light. He asked her the same question every time, and every visit he held his breath while he waited for her to answer.
“It appears so. Everything sounds the same, but that former healer was right. Your energy levels are a little lower than I prefer, but I don’t think it’s from your activity level. You haven’t really changed how much exercise you get, but just the form in which you’re getting it.”
His stomach clenched as he waited for her to continue. A drop in energy level in witches was as problematic as a spike in white blood cell counts. “Does that mean more tests?”
“Just a couple of blood tests for precaution. In the meantime, I want to switch your heart medication. I think the current one might be causing the fatigue.” She handed him a prescription. “The active ingredient is the same, but the healer who makes it has a gentler hand.”
“Okay. Should I start it right away?” he asked.
“Yes. And pick up a couple more energy potions. One every other day for the next week so you can get back to normal levels. I want to see you back here in two weeks just to see how the new treatment is going.”
“You got it.”
“Excellent. Good seeing you again, Rhys. Have a great day.” She smiled at him and shook his hand.
“Thanks, Healer Snow.” He stood, grateful to be off the exam table, and followed her out the door. They walked in step down the hallway. The healer headed to the front desk and Rhys headed to the small onsite lab. Just as they reached his destination, the lab door swung open, and Hanna came striding out of the room and ran right into him.
“Whoa!” he said, chuckling as he held her upright. “What are you doing here?”
She glanced from him to Snow. The healer waved at Hanna but didn’t stop, and in the next moment she disappeared around the corner that led to the administration counter.
“I was getting blood drawn for a new trial. What are you doing here?” There was an accusation in her tone that made Rhys frown.
“Checkup. Nothing serious.” He smiled at her. “I need to give some blood. Wait for me?”
“I guess.” She frowned up at him. “Are you sure it’s just a checkup? You look pale.”
He laughed. “I’m sure. Just a regular thing to check levels and adjust meds.”
She stepped back and blinked. “You’re on meds?” Her voice was high-pitched, and uncertainty flashed in her pretty gaze.
“Hanna, relax,” he said gently. “It’s just a preventative. Nothing serious. I swear.”
“You should’ve told me,” she said, staring at her feet.
He used two fingers to gently lift her chin. “I would’ve. I just didn’t think about it. It’s no big deal. I promise.” He jerked his head toward the door. “Want to go back in with me while I give them a pint of blood?”
She glanced back at the lab and gave a tiny shudder. “Uh, no. How about I just meet you at your house later? I need to run some errands in town before I head back to Keating Hollow.” She leaned in and gave him a peck on the lips. “Sorry,” she whispered and then took a deep breath. “I was just surprised to see you here today.”
“It’s okay,” he said, understanding perfectly. If he hadn’t known that she participated in drug trials, he’d have freaked out a little to find her there, too. Healer Snow dealt with all the tough cases in town. If she was your healer, it was because no one else was talented enough to treat you. “I’m fine. You’re fine. And tonight, we’ll be fine together.” He winked at her. “How do you feel about homemade ice cream?”
“Cappuccino flavor?” she asked.
“I’m sure I can manage that.” He gave her one last kiss on her forehead. “Go on, gorgeous. Get your stuff done so we can relax tonight.”
She pulled him into a hug, and as she held on tight, she said, “What did I do to deserve you?”
“You were just you.” He tightened his hold on her and added, “Or maybe it was all those cookies you passed me in homeroom way back in freshman year.”
“I passed those cookies to you every day for four years, Rhys,” she corrected.
“Right, but by the end of freshman year I was already in love with you, so those later ones didn’t count.”
She glanced up at him. “Really? Why didn’t you say anything?”
He shrugged. “Too much trauma for both of us I guess. You were the only person I had, and I didn’t want to mess it up by being a horny teenager.”
Her lips split into a wide smile, and she laughed. “Okay, point taken. But just so you know, I was already in love with you, too.”
Rhys groaned, hating how much time they’d wasted. “Damn my teenage chivalry.”
“You can say that again,” she said with a snort. “Now go. I’ll see you tonight.”
He pictured her in his house, holding a glass of wine in her hand. She was gorgeous in every way. He leaned in and pressed one last kiss to her cheek. “Love you.”
Her smile widened, and love shone in her eyes as she said the words he’d been waiting forever to hear from her lips. “Love you, too.”
Chapter Sixteen
Hanna steered her small SUV up the winding road to Rhys’s house. She was still berating herself about the way she’d overreacted to seeing him at the clinic in Eureka. Immediately when she’d run into him, her only thought was that he’d been hiding his illness… just like Charlotte had done with everyone she loved, except her immediate family. Hanna’s heart rate had shot up, and she’d started to sweat, terrified that Rhys hadn’t told her everything.
Of course
he hadn’t. She couldn’t have known he was taking preventative care medication because he’d never talked about what could happen. She understood why, but she hoped he wasn’t in denial, because no matter how much she hated to admit it, her mother was at least partially right. If Hanna was going to go all-in on this relationship with Rhys, she needed to accept that there was a real possibility she’d lose him prematurely. And she had to make peace with that.
Rhys’s small house came into view, and Hanna turned into his driveway, parking right next to his Jeep. She climbed out of her vehicle and then went around to the passenger side to gather the items she’d picked up on her way over. By the time she started for the front door, Rhys was already standing on the porch, waiting for her.
“Hey,” he said, casting a long, lingering glance down her body. She’d changed into a skirt and an off-the-shoulder blouse and had pinned her hair up, accentuating her long neck and her toned shoulders. In her opinion, they were her best feature. Rhys met her on his sidewalk and took the canvas grocery bag from her. “You do know I was in charge of dinner, right?”
She chuckled. “You know I can’t go anywhere without bringing something.”
He grabbed her hand and tugged her inside. It had been a while since she’d been to his house, but nothing had changed. The living room was still decorated with bachelor-style well-worn leather furniture, a couple of coastal prints, and a plain wood coffee table. It wasn’t fit for a spread in Better Homes and Gardens, but she knew from experience that the couch was very comfortable.
“All right, gorgeous, what did you bring us?” Rhys asked as he placed the bag on his counter and started pulling the items out.
“A cabernet to go with your tri-tip, some special decaf roast to have with the ice cream, and coffee cake for breakfast,” Hanna said, taking a seat across from him on one of his stools.
“Breakfast, huh?” He gave her a hopeful glance. “Will you be here to share it with me?”
She shrugged one shoulder, remaining noncommittal.