by E. Van Lowe
“You eat at my house,” I countered, even though I knew the answer.
“That’s for Ms. Barnett’s sake. She already doesn’t like me. If she met a teenage boy who didn’t like to eat, she’d be even more suspicious.”
Everyone calls my mom Suze. All of her friends and all of my friends. Everyone but me. She wouldn’t have it any other way—except when it came to Guy. The first time Guy called her Ms. Barnett she didn’t correct him as she’d done with all my other friends. She was sending me a message. Message received.
We reached the bleachers. Despite the gorgeous day, the bleachers were deserted. We had them all to ourselves. With no one around, my mind and eyes wandered to Guy’s lips. They were gorgeous lips.
“There’s something up with you today,” he said, as we sat in our favorite spot at the very bottom. I opened the Fritos, not because I was planning on eating them. It was busy work for my hands. I had other plans for my lips.
“I had another dream. I wish you could have been there to hold me.” I inched closer, gaped at his mouth.
He pulled back, staring at me for a few seconds, his head cocked to the side. “No. That’s not it. Normally you’d be freaking out about the dream. There’s something else on your mind.”
Kissing!
“Oh, right. I’ve been invited to The Explosion,” I said somberly. Guy was very intuitive about what was going on inside of me. He had been gifted with some kind of special angel sense to help him protect me when he was my guardian, although he didn’t seem to be getting the message about kissing.
“Someone’s going to blow something up, and you’ve been invited to watch?” His face was twisted into a big question mark.
I laughed. “No, silly. The Explosion is a ditch day party given by the Poplarati. Getting invited is an honor.”
“And yet you don’t seem honored.” He reached into the bag, pulled out a Frito and held it in front of my lips. “Eat.” Strong, masculine hands holding the chip so delicately were a definite turn-on. I nibbled the Frito, sucking the salt from his fingertips.
“They only invited me because of Matt. He was one of them. By accepting me into their ranks, they’re sending a message to the rest of the school to stop the gossip about his supposed suicide.” Guy pulled another Frito from the bag, held before my lips. “I can feed myself, you know?”
“Righteeo.” He smiled his smile and I melted, nibbling the chip from his fingertips.
“I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel. They don’t care about me.”
Guy pulled another Frito from the bag. I frowned. “How do you feel about them?” He popped the chip into his mouth, made a face. I couldn’t help but smile.
“I don’t feel anything. Jeremy and his jock friends are all jerks. And so is Ashley Scott and her crowd.”
“Sounds to me like you’re even. You don’t care about them, they don’t care about you.”
“Well, when you put it that way.”
He looked at me with his dreamy eyes and I almost forgot what we were talking about. “Do you want to go to this Explosion?”
“No. But Maudrina sure does. She talked my ear off about it all through English.”
“Well…” He munched another Frito. Made another face.
“If you don’t like the way they taste, stop eating them!” I barked.
“A ditch day party is a daytime party, right?”
“Yeah. So?”
“We’ve never been out together. We’ve never danced together. I’d like to dance with you at least once before… the semester’s over.” His voice dropped.
I knew he wasn’t thinking about the end of the semester. He was too polite to say what was really on his mind. Guy was an angel who had been exiled to walk the earth because he fell in love with me. He wanted to experience all he could with me before his exile came to an end.
“Geeks do dance, don’t they?” he teased, his words bringing me back to the moment.
“Yes, of course we do.” I could feel myself getting giddy inside. All of a sudden The Explosion was sounding like a good idea. Guy dancing in my arms all afternoon, without my mother hovering nearby. A very good idea.
“And it’s ditch day. So it’s not like you’re really ditching. Most students ditch all their classes after lunch anyway. Right?”
“For someone new at G.U. you sure know a lot about ditch day.”
“I am a master of ditching,” he said with a mischievous smile and a wink.
When I met Guy, he had presented himself to me as a bad boy to get my attention. It worked. But now he was towing the line, and making sure I did, too.
“What about Maudrina? She really wants to go. She’ll be crushed if I tell her I’m going with you.”
“If the Poplarati are bending over backwards to invite you, I’m sure they won’t mind if you show up with two dates.” He moved to pull another Frito from the bag, then thought better of it.
I inched closer, and he put his arm around me. I rest my head on his shoulder and we sat in silence, enjoying the warm spring air, and closeness. As much as I wanted to be kissed, I enjoyed Guy's arms around me more. I could sit for hours, neither of us uttering a word, and yet communicating volumes through our touch.
The danger I had been feeling the past few days, along with the horror of this morning’s dream, faded away. I even allowed myself the luxury of ignoring the greater danger, the danger to my heart and soul that lurked at the edge of my consciousness. The end of exile.
I had promised myself I would take it slow, that I would enjoy the fact I had found a boy I cared for and who loved me, and that I wouldn’t ruin things by looking into an uncertain future.
Live for today. Enjoy the moment, is what I told myself. But when life is this good, it’s hard not wishing the good days could last forever.
#
When I walked into the math lab that afternoon, everyone stopped what they were doing and applauded.
Tran raced over to greet me at the door and bowed. “Welcome, my queen.”
I was so caught off guard I started blushing. “Shut up!” I said trying to play it off. I gave him a playful shove, and he pretended to fall on the floor.
I hadn’t been in the math lab since last semester when I got kicked off the team. It felt strange being back. It was good seeing Tran, Geoffrey and the other geeks smiling at me. I hadn’t hung with them for so long. I missed my friends.
But there was someone missing. Erin and I had joined the mathletes together. Now that she had transferred to another school, there was just me. It was another reminder of how much my life had changed in such a short period of time.
“I don’t know how we won the regionals without you,” Tran said, getting up off the floor. “But we’re going to need your brain if we’re going to win state.”
“It’s good to be back. What are we working on?”
“You ready for this, Barnett?” Tran asked, turning serious. “No more playing around like last semester.” He was obviously talking about Guy.
I bit my tongue. “Yes. I’m ready.”
He turned to Mrs. Brewster who was seated in the back. “I told you! We gonna kick some serious butt!”
“We’re doing a few warm-up exercises with different number bases. Join us,” Mrs. Brewster called.
And I did.
#
Ditch day at most high schools is a senior thing, a privilege the graduating class has bestowed upon themselves. But not at G.U. Sometime during the nineties, juniors began taking advantage of the day off, and before long it was a school-wide tradition.
The date for ditch day is always chosen by the senior class. They held onto that honor, holding secret meetings starting in December. Sometime after winter break, the date is announced. Once word is out, there is nothing teachers or administrators can do. They try to encourage students not to boycott school on ditch day. They request that parents talk to us. But it does no good. Even if you attended class on ditch day—which I usually did—there wer
e so few students present after lunch, teachers couldn’t follow the lesson plan. And so the teachers and administrators quietly went along, pretending as though ditch day didn’t exist.
Local legend around The Explosion is another terrific piece of trivia. About ten years ago the Poplarati threw a ditch day party at some rich kid’s house whose parents were out of town. Alcohol was served. A lot of people got drunk and someone called the police. Parents and the administration were outraged that this had occurred on a school day, right under their noses. So the school decreed that if anyone was caught attending a daytime party on a school day, those persons would be expelled.
But the adults’ plan backfired. The next year the Poplarati threw an even bigger party with an exclusive guest list. The called the party The Expulsion, flaunting their youth and bravado in the face of the school’s administration. Since no adults were at the party, they couldn’t prove who was there, and so no one got expelled. Eventually The Expulsion became today’s Explosion.
I spouted this trivia to Guy over the next several days. He seemed to get a kick out of it. I liked having a boyfriend who was handsome and cool, and yet not intimidated by my brains, or the fact that useless data could come spilling out of me at the drop of a hat. From where I was sitting, our relationship was perfect.
Chapter Three
“So I’m not going to see you all weekend?”
“Don’t look at me like that,” said Guy.
It was Friday. Guy was walking me to first period English when he sprung the news on me. I wasn’t looking forward to English. We had recently started reading A Raisin In The Sun, which at least had brought us up to the twentieth century, but still.
“How am I looking at you?” I asked.
“Like I’m the Grinch who stole Christmas.”
I had to smile at that one. “Don’t flatter yourself. And when were you going to tell me anyway?”
“I’m telling you now.” There was something odd about his expression. I got the feeling there was something more he wasn’t saying. We arrived at my classroom.
“You never mentioned you had any friends before. Is Rocky an…” I didn’t say the word angel. The halls were packed this time of day. No telling who might overhear.
When he nodded his response, an emptiness swelled in the pit of my belly. The end of exile, popped into my mind. Is this what he isn’t telling me?
“Rocky isn’t exactly a friend,” he said with a short, derisive laugh.
“So this non-friend says he needs your help with something that’s going to take all weekend, and you have to jump to his request?”
“Something like that.” He was avoiding looking me in the eye. The emptiness I was feeling spread into my chest.
“And you’re leaving before lunch?”
Another nod of his head.
“Will I ever see you again?” The words came out tortured. I didn’t want to ask. I didn’t want to seem needy, or greedy. But knowing what I knew, I had to.
He took me into his arms. “Of course I’m coming back. I wouldn’t even be going if I didn’t have to.”
Our faces were inches apart. I looked into his eyes. “This sounds important.”
“It is,” is all he said. No further explanation. He held my gaze. “I love you,” he said softly.
“I know you do. I’m just disappointed is all.”
“All right you two. I need to see a little space,” called Mrs. Madera, who had just stepped out of her classroom across the hall.
We moved apart.
“Tell your mom I’ll miss her hospitality.” We both started laughing at his sarcasm.
“Count yourself lucky. You are the only boy lucky enough to experience all her charms.”
We continued laughing until the first bell.
“See you Monday.” His kissed me gently on the lips, and headed down the hall toward his first period class. He didn’t look back.
#
Suze was thrilled that Guy wasn’t coming over. She tried pretending she wasn’t, that she was actually concerned, asking questions like: “Did something happen between you two?”
I knew she was hoping the answer would be yes. I have to hand it to her. When I told her things were fine and that he’d definitely be back on our couch next Saturday, the look of relief on her face seemed almost real.
I was surprised how easily we fell back into our old Saturday evening routine. I had almost forgotten how close we were before Guy, and Armando, and all the mess.
We scouted out a romantic comedy we hadn’t seen on Pay Per View, and planned to watch it after dinner. Then we converged on our tiny kitchen to prepare a light supper. My job was to pull a green salad together, and Suze would grill chicken breasts to be sliced into strips and placed on top.
I was enjoying spending time with her. I thought the evening would be torture, with me wondering what Guy was doing every second. But hanging with my mom lightened my mood. We laughed our way through dinner.
“Remember Miller David?” she asked. We were just about finished eating.
“Of course I do. You met him on a dating site.”
Miller David was the first man she had gone out with since my father left ten years ago. He went out with her a few times and disappeared. He stopped calling, and he never returned any of her messages.
“Yes, that’s right. The one who dumped me the way a high school boy might do it.” She was annoyed.
“Why are you bringing him up?”
“I saw him yesterday.”
I was trying not to react. I wanted her to start dating again—partly for my own sake. I figured if she had a boyfriend, she’d be a lot easier on mine. But I didn’t want her dating a jerk like Miller.
“How’s he doing?” I tried keeping my voice cheery.
“I have no idea. We didn’t speak.”
“So, he didn’t see you?”
“Oh, he saw me! I made sure he saw me. I was leaving the office to pick-up something quick to take back for lunch, and he was coming out of Subway. He started in my direction, but he was so busy talking to the big bosomed floozy he was with, he didn’t see me. That is, until I got directly in his path.”
“You didn’t?” I said, smiling at my mother’s bravado.
“I most certainly did. He finally looked up when he realized the person in front of him wasn’t going to let him pass.”
Now I was chuckling. “What did you say when he saw you?”
“Nothing. I just stood there, staring at him with the stink eye.”
“Go, Mom. What did he say?”
“Nothing. He stood there staring back. He had this look on his face like he’d been caught with his pants around his ankles. It was like an old western showdown. Finally I rolled my eyes, flipped my hair and walked right past him. I heard the floozy ask, do you know her? And he said no. Jerk.”
I gave her a round of applause. “Good for you.”
I began clearing away the dishes. I was happy she was getting her confidence back. Her last boyfriend’s sudden disappearance was a big blow. Of course, I knew he’d been sent back to hell, but still. It was time she got back on the old dating horse again.
Not that long ago I would have been happy she wasn’t dating. A man was the last thing I wanted in her life. Yet as much as I hated to admit it, with Armando in her life, my mother had been transformed. She was more than just my mother. She was a woman, full and complete. There was a time when I wanted to be all she needed to feel good about herself. Those feelings were immature, because just as I needed more in my life, so did she.
When I placed the salad bowl in the sink, I happened to glance out the big bay window into our garden. It was way past sundown, and the yard was full of shadows.
I thought I saw something move.
I told myself it was a rodent digging for grubs, but then the person moved between shadows, and I realized someone was in our backyard. My heart leapt into my mouth.
Without thinking, I took the flashlight out of the k
itchen drawer and moved to the back door.
“Is something wrong?” called Suze.
“No. I just want to check on something.”
I grabbed my coat off the rack and exited out the back door. I know it was stupid. This could have been the answer to a burglar or molester’s prayers. But I didn’t think so. I thought I saw Erin hiding in the shadows in our backyard.
Chapter Four
I stepped out into the night. A mist was drifting down from the mountains leaving the air cool and damp. Ours was an eco-friendly yard of low water shrubbery, sand and succulents. I shined the light near the dracaena bush where I’d seen her. The beam cut through the mist, illuminating a small object lying on the ground by the bush. As I was about to investigate, I heard a rustling to my right.
I whipped the light in the direction of the sound, the beam ricocheting off sand and shrubs. My heart was thunderingin my earslike a drum. “Erin?” I caught a flash of red fabric—her favorite hoodie—as she ducked into another shadow and ran from the yard. The flashlight was trembling in my hand.
When I’d made it a goal of mine to see Erin and fix the rift in our friendship, this kind of meeting was not what I had in mind.
“What’s going on out there?” Suze was standing backlit in the doorway, pulling a sweater around herself.
“Nothing. I think it was a possum or a badger. Go back inside.” I hoped my voice didn’t betray me. I took a few deep breaths to get my nerves under control.
“You sure you’re okay out here alone? I don’t mind waiting. Badgers can be dangerous.”
I forced a smile. “This is our own backyard, Mom. I’m fine. I’m just going to scare him off. Go back inside!”
“Okay, okay. Don’t chew my head off. I’m going to go queue up the movie. Don’t be long. And be careful!”
As soon as she went back inside, I moved to where I saw the small object Erin had dropped on the ground. The beam of the light landed on a dead bird. I think it was a blue jay, but couldn’t be sure. Its head was missing. Fresh blood was starting to congeal on the tufts of the bird’s neck and breast.