Amidst the distractions of Ben and Jason, I’d inadvertently abandoned my fishing buddy. Henry had meant for us to hang out and fish all day. I felt chastened. Why would I take instructions from Ben or Jason when the top fly fisherman in the area was offering his help?
Sometimes I didn’t understand the choices I made. Worse, too often it didn’t occur to me I was making a choice.
I headed toward Ben. “Hey, I’m going to work with Henry after lunch.”
“No bother. I’ll pick a spot farther up, away from him,” Ben said, motioning toward Jason who was reeling in yet another salmon.
Jim pulled a compact grill out of the back of my Land Rover and helped Jason clean his impressive catch. I had to admit Jason’s grilled salmon was delicious. It amused me that Ben refused to taste it, claiming he only ate what he caught.
Once we’d cleaned up from lunch, Jim examined my fly and exchanged it for a different one. I secretly believed the salmon had decided to steer clear of me. Nonetheless, I followed Henry to his spot in the river, watched him tie a fly to the leader.
“I wasn’t attracting any fish in my spot earlier,” I said with a sheepish smile, not convinced it was my spot that was at fault.
He took the fly I handed to him, began to tie it on my rod, and then let me take over, gently instructing me on how to finish it off.
“Follow me and we’ll go farther upstream to that rock there. We can both fish and it will give you plenty of room to cast,” he said, tossing a glance in Jason and Ben’s direction.
They were rapt in conversation with Jim. As soon as Henry and I found a place in the river, I turned toward the bank to see Jason coming our way, Ben following close behind.
Choosing to ignore their arrival and focus on Henry’s instructions seemed wise. He showed me how to pull my line, hold the tension, and resist the temptation to flick with my wrist. Simple enough to understand, but it didn’t come naturally. I practiced several times with only my body movements before attempting to cast with the rod again, but kept making a mess of the line. On top of bungling my efforts, I couldn’t shake the distracting sensation of Ben’s body so close to mine.
“You’re getting better even though it may not feel like it,” Henry encouraged.
“Ell, you’ll never catch a thing if you think these yokels are going to be able to help you,” Jason said, grabbing the rod from my hands. “First off, your rod is junk. That’s one reason you’re having trouble. You need to invest in better equipment for paying guests. Take a look at my rod. Bought this for today. You can have it when I leave.”
I bit the inside of my cheek, forcing my mouth to stay closed and quiet, and then snatched my rod back from Jason.
“She can manage on her own,” Ben said.
“Ell should learn how to enjoy the sport and that starts with being able to cast. Right now, the birds in that tree on the shore are in more danger than the fish.”
“Listen, both of you, she’s doing fine. Leave her be and stake out your own spot,” Henry said, his voice firm. “I’ll give her whatever help she needs.”
I was surprised at what for him was an outburst. He didn’t usually say much in a group of people and I felt obliged to back him. “I completely agree with Henry. Any help I need, he can give me.” I waved my hands toward the shore to shoo them away. “Whether I hook a bird or a fish, that’s my problem, not yours. Keep yourself away from me on the river and you shouldn’t have anything to worry about from a hook gone wild.”
Jason’s charm only lasted a microsecond with me. And that microsecond was over. The thought of my hook accidentally catching hold of some part of him was tempting. I needed his help to fund Glenbroch’s repair but putting up with him scraped my nerves.
Jason slapped Ben on the back. “Gonna catch any today? Since Ell doesn’t need my help, I should help you out. You have no business owning any part of a sporting estate with crap fishing skills like yours.”
Ben jerked away from Jason’s hand and didn’t respond. If Jason pushed him further, Ben wouldn’t likely let it go.
Peaceful fishing only lasted a few casting attempts before Jason’s voice cut through the gurgling rush of the river.
“You’re over-rotating your wrist. You cast like a teenage girl,” he taunted. “I can see the tough Highland image is nothing but a pathetic joke.
Even from a distance, I could see Ben’s eyes turn dark. Danger was brewing, but he quietly reeled in his line and set up to re-cast.
Jason refused to let up. “I thought you being a no-nonsense Scot, you could take a suggestion, because you could definitely improve your form. You need help, man, but if you’re too stubborn to take it . . .”
I looked for Jim, who had made himself busy sorting items in the tackle boxes, either oblivious to what Jason was doing or ignoring him. I wanted out of the river, convinced the escalating tension between Jason and Ben would electrocute any people and fish left in the water.
Henry kept his eyes on his line. “Ignore them, Ellie.”
But I was sure trouble was coming. Jason cast again close to Ben, his line drifting into Ben’s just as a salmon pulled Ben’s line taut. Clearly Jason saw the fish bite as well. As Ben played the fish, Jason let his line out, tangling it in Ben’s to prevent him from bringing in the fish. Ben snapped the line and lunged at Jason.
“Eejit! What were you thinking?”
“Honest mistake in calculating the current. I thought I had enough distance between me and you,” Jason said, a smug look on his face. “That salmon looked nice too.”
“Bollocks!” Ben yelled and turned away to shore.
Jason jerked back on his rod, which slapped Ben in the back of the head.
No accident.
Ben grabbed Jason’s fancy rod, and threw it in the river.
“Are you insane?” Jason shoved Ben, who nearly lost his balance. “Do you know how much that gear cost, you backwoods idiot?”
Jim didn’t move nor act perturbed when Ben grabbed Jason’s hand and bent it back at the wrist.
“Backwoods idiot? Well, then, if you know so much about idiots, you should know I won’t hesitate to break your wrist to teach you to keep your rod off the back of people’s heads.”
Jason’s fist caught Ben in the jaw, knocking him into the rushing water. Ben pulled Jason’s legs out from under him, and they thrashed in the river like two rutting stags—but in this case more likely to break their heads on the rocks than do damage to each other. What a stupid waste of a day! I flushed with embarrassment and frustration, hoping things would smooth out and the day could still be salvaged.
“Lads, you’re scaring the fish away,” Jim said, as if he had merely commented on the weather.
Ben’s head wounds from the Glenbroch accident had broken open and blood poured down his face.
“Jim, Ben’s bleeding!” I yelled, my voice shrill with concern.
Jim headed into the water and called for Henry to help him. Together they dragged Ben and Jason from the river.
“I was under the impression we were having a gentlemen’s day on the river, not a pub brawl,” Jim said.
Ben and Jason peeled off their waders, water pouring out. They both looked a mess. I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach thinking I was tied to a financial bed with both of these guys.
Talk about S&M.
Jim sat them both down on the bank and stood between them. “Mr. Marks, you are a guest of the owner of this estate. I see you have something to work out between you and Mr. MacIver here, but you need to pick your place and time. This isn’t it. This is Ms. Jameson’s first day on the river, her first chance to catch a salmon on her family’s land.” He threw Jason’s keys at him. “Get yourself back to your inn. You’re done for today.”
Jason scrambled to his feet, lunged at Jim. “You don’t tell me when or what I do, old man.”
“I do here, son.”
Henry stepped forward. Ben pushed to his feet, flanking Jim.
“Ell,” Jason
said, turning to me. “We need to talk. Let’s go.”
Jason was my guest and my new boss soon enough, and he had the money I needed to save Glenbroch. I followed him.
“Listen, Jason, I need to go with them. I can’t afford to upset people here. You understand what that’s like. I’m not going with you now, but I’ll catch up with you later,” I graced him with my sweetest smile, hoping to diffuse the situation.
“Ell—” Jason began a protest.
“I’ll call you later,” I promised. “We’ll meet up.”
Fuming, he slung himself into his vehicle and tore off, banging the Land Rover on the bumpy road hard enough to nearly turn it over.
Jim turned to Ben, shaking his head in disapproval. “Henry, Ellie, give me a minute.”
I re-entered the river with Henry, hoping there was still a fish within a mile who was interested in being caught. I strained over the rush of the water to hear Jim’s words to Ben.
“You were an embarrassment today, Ben MacIver. You’re not going to get what you want until you learn to master your pride and stand up for what’s worth fighting for. And that bloke?” Jim jerked his thumb toward Jason’s dust. “You’re off your head around him. He’s not your problem. You are.”
Henry and I soon packed it in; the icy river and all the fuss had conspired to wear down my resolve. Blood had dried in streams down the sides of Ben’s face. I couldn’t help but want to clean it up, take care of him, as he had done for me. It was hard to be mad at him, to stay away from him, even though I had every right to be frustrated.
The mood of our group grew darker by the moment, exacerbated by exhaustion. We piled into the Beast with Jim at the wheel. The only sounds during the trip back to Glenbroch were the jostling of the Land Rover as it navigated the lumpy dirt road.
Ben and I had ridden together from the cottage, and what had happened on the river made for an awkward ride home. Neither of us spoke until Ben broke the tense silence a mile down the road.
“Ellie, I’m sorry about the row with Jason. It was a stupid move. I don’t know what got into me.”
“It’s obvious Jason being here upsets you. It is what it is. You need to deal with him being involved.”
He stared straight ahead, not meeting my eyes. “How can I prove to you that the last thing I want is for you to lose Glenbroch?”
“Get your father to tear up the agreement.”
He turned to look at me. “You know he won’t do that.”
“Then I guess there’s nothing you can do to convince me.”
He let out a long exhale. “I’ll talk to Jason, smooth things over.”
“Suit yourself.”
“I’m normally not like that. Things got out of hand. I’ll set this right.”
“Too bad you don’t have the same scruples to set things right with me. You’re worried about making it okay between you and Jason, but you won’t stand up to your father for what you say you believe in.”
Ben flinched, and I cringed inwardly at my barbs. I didn’t like to hit him where it could cause damage, but there were times I couldn’t, or wouldn’t, stop myself. Sometimes I wanted to mend him. And sometimes I wanted to hurt him. Rational or not.
Ben’s claim that he wanted me to retain Glenbroch seemed sincere, but what he said he wanted didn’t change a thing. John ran the show and Ben simply wouldn’t stand up to him. I couldn’t respect empty wishes and words. I’d had plenty of those in my life. I needed to focus my concern on what John wanted, not Ben. And John wanted Glenbroch. Nothing had changed.
I pulled the Beast up beside the cottage and shut off the engine. Ben reached out and held my arm before I could get out, his hand firm but gentle, his voice thick with feeling.
“I’ll find a way to make this right with you, Ellie.”
“Right. I’ll believe it when I see it.” I stepped out of the car without looking back. After going into the cottage, I waited in the dark until certain he’d had time to make it back to his parents’ house.
Tossing my mess of emotions into the corner of the sofa, I curled up under a blanket and watched the kindling catch hold of the flame from the starter block. If I didn’t see enemy tattooed on Ben’s forehead, what did I see? My thoughts drifted away from the book in my hand to the kindness in his smile, the way his eyes outed his emotions, what felt like the truth between us, and the feel of his body curved around mine in the river.
Ben looked and acted less like an enemy than any I’d known, but seeing him as an enemy was easier than any other option. And right now I needed easy options. What would have happened if I’d asked for his help instead of Jason’s? I would never know.
Jason’s help always arrived with a hidden cost that snuck up and bit hard. Although I didn’t know yet exactly what he would try to extract from me in return for his help or how far he would push me, I did know he would do all he could to ensure I paid in full.
19
“Not as good as the salmon I grilled up for you yesterday at the river, huh?” Jason asked, leveling an intense gaze across the inn’s candlelit table, attempting to divine my thoughts.
My appetite couldn’t do justice to Pete’s salmon and roasted vegetables. Jason had no trouble clearing away his food and throwing back a couple more pints, making it at least four he’d downed. I questioned my judgment in spending the day driving around the area with him and now having dinner.
Buck up, girl, you need his help and you can manage any garbage he pulls.
“It’s pretty nice, what you’ve got here. Glenbroch is worth a decent chunk of change. You did good.” He leaned forward. “You know, I’m having a good time with you, but it could be better.”
Picking up my wine glass and holding it in front of me in a feeble attempt to physically block Jason’s innuendo, I kept my voice level. “My birth father died. There’s no doing good about it.”
“You barely knew him. You couldn’t have felt much about his death. He didn’t even own up to paternity when you found him, right?”
I didn’t answer, regretting the personal things I’d told him that drunken night at the conference.
He finished off his beer in one long swallow. “What are you doing going fishing with the man who is trying to take your business? That MacIver has a temper. I don’t think you can trust him.”
I couldn’t stifle a snort—talk about lack of self-awareness. “I’ll give you a year, but that’s all.”
Jason reached across, laid his hand on mine. “Why do you push me away? Why not let something good into your life?”
How could I answer honestly? “We both signed an agreement that states precisely what I want from you.”
Flopping back against the booth and stretching his body along its length, he said, “You had other people, other options, but you asked me for help. There is more on the table here than just business, always has been.”
If he thought I had other options, I didn’t want to let on I didn’t. “Just business is all I’m interested in, Jason.”
“Whatever you want to call what’s happening between us is your choice.” He lifted his glass. “To the future.”
I could feel Maggie’s glare, lifted my glass more in defense of my decision than in a toast, and repeated, “To the future.”
“That’s my girl.”
I closed my eyes, trying to talk myself out of blowing up at him. I opened them and smiled sweetly. “Could you get me a whisky? They’ll know which one at the bar.”
“Of course. Good idea. Let’s take the edge off.” He slid out of the booth and leaned close to my face. “It will be better than you’ve even dreamed.”
He brushed my face with his fingers, gave me a wink, and I nearly threw up in my mouth. Oblivious to anything but his own desires, he thought that I wanted the drink to get in the mood. I needed it to forget why I was I sitting here with him, listening to his come-ons. He was far more cocky and nasty than he’d been at that conference. I had gotten myself into a real mess.
W
hatever it takes.
The door of the pub opened and Ben appeared, with Jim right behind him. They spotted me and headed over to our table.
Jason’s expression darkened when he caught sight of them as he returned to the table, but I was elated at their arrival.
“Thanks for taking care of things for me so I could spend the day out with Jason and show him around,” I said to Ben.
“If I’d known that was what you were needing the time for, I would have been looking after the to-do list on my own land.”
Jim put his hand on Ben’s arm. “Let’s get a pint, lad, and some food.” He turned to me and Jason, nodded. “Mr. Marks, Ms. Jameson.”
“See you later, Jim,” I said, not wanting them to go.
Jason slid into the booth and watched them walk away, disdain settled on his face. “You need someone over here who knows business, not some old-fashioned geezer who calls someone a lad. You’ll never make Glenbroch into a success hanging around with these types,” he said, jerking his thumb in the direction of Jim and Ben.
Teeth grinding in anger, I pressed my lips together to keep from yelling exactly what I thought of Jason at the top of my lungs. The night went downhill from there. With every pint, his talk grew more inappropriate and his hands were on some part of me more often than not. I downed another double whisky, but it wasn’t strong enough to numb the churn in my gut at the thought of Jason’s body on mine. I couldn’t take his disgusting fantasy any longer, but I needed to be diplomatic.
“I’m going now, Jason.” I stood and grabbed my handbag from the peg at the end of the booth. “I need to get some rest.”
I dug in the bottom of the purse for my keys, searched my coat pockets. Ben’s head swung in my direction and our eyes met. The clink of metal drew my attention away from his gaze. Jason held up my keys, swinging them back and forth.
“You’re too drunk to drive. You’ll have to stay with me.”
“I will do no such thing. Hand me the keys.”
“No can do, Ell. It would be highly irresponsible of me, don’t you think?” He stood up and threw on his coat. “You can come back to the place I rented. I’ll bring you to your car in the morning.”
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