“So let me give you my number and new address and we can write and talk every single day. I hope your aunt and uncle will bring you out to Seattle to visit once we get settled in. That would be super amazing,” I say excitedly, hoping to bring some sunshine back into her face.
“I’ll try to talk to them about it. Promise you’ll write every day?” she asks, hugging me again, much tighter this time.
“I promise I will…you’re my best friend ever,” I say. Jayde’s face lights up with a beaming smile. Looking down into her pocket, she pulls out two half heart necklaces. On the purple one, it says “best” then on the pink one it says “friends.” She hands me the purple one and I snap it around my neck. It’s cute, not my style, but very cute.
“I bought these for us, so our friendship will stay with us forever, no matter where in the world we are.” Yes, now it’s my time to get emotional. My eyes begin to water profusely with tears and I pretend I have something in my eye to wipe them away.
“Anna, dear, it’s time to go. We must get an early start.” I was too busy talking with Jayde that I didn’t even hear my mom and dad pull up in the driveway. Turning back to Jayde, she isn’t looking me in the eye.
“Don’t forget about me, Jaybird. Promise?” I smile.
“I promise, Annabanana. I promise I won’t….”
Chapter 3
Anna
And that promise held true for about three months. First, we talked damn near every day. Then we talked a couple times a week. Then maybe a letter here and there. After that, the letters stopped coming. The phone stopped ringing. It was as if she fell off the face of the earth and we never spoke again. That day in high school, when Jayde walked into the cafeteria and saw me sitting there by myself, she knew it was me straight away. Jayde wore some frumpy pony tail hair style, and large black rimmed glasses. She walked up to me that day and slid into the seat opposite of me without so much as a hello then stared at me like I had two heads.
“I know this is going to sound crazy as hell but you look really familiar. Have we met before?” The girl asked me. This girl wore black rimmed glasses and a frumpy good-girl “never been kissed by a boy” look to her and I knew right away who it was. I looked at her up and down before she knowingly smiled.
“Anna?” she asked in disbelief before leaning in a little closer as if that would help. “Is that really you?” Yeah, my assumption was definitely true. It’s most definitely her. The purple heart she gave me all those years ago is still clasped around my neck, hidden beneath my black T-shirt.
“Depends on who this Anna person is. To you, I used to be called Annabanana.”
At my correction, Jayde jumped up and lunged at me, hugging me tighter than I’ve ever been hugged in my life.
“Oh my god I can’t believe it! I’ve missed you so much you have no idea!” She said, letting go of her death grip she has around my body.
“When did you get back? It’s been so long I can’t believe you actually recognized me. You’ve definitely changed.” Sure a few pounds heavier, a heavy coating of makeup and a grunge styled hairdo later, you could say I changed a bit.
“Yeah I guess I have. We moved back last week but I wanted to keep out of school until after Spring break was over. Readjust back into the southern life and all that.”
Jayde is practically buzzing with excitement. “So, why the move back?” I start to say, but she holds up her hands in surrender. “Never mind. It’s none of my business.” Grabbing my apple, I tug at the stem until it snaps off.
“My parents divorced, and my dad wanted to stay in Seattle where his job was and my mom missed the country life so much, she decided to move back.” I shrug like it’s no big deal.
“Oh, wow. I’m sorry,” she says and I sit my apple down to say something. “I don’t need anybody’s pity. I’m adjusting. I mean, I’m only sixteen so this kind of stuff happens all the time, right? Isn’t that what they teach you in those stupid transition classes?” She nods. Transition classes are required for every new high school student. They teach you the fundamentals of growing up like menstrual cycles, parent issues, and all that good shit.
“Okay…so let’s catch up. How about we hit up Starbucks after school? My treat.” As much as I want to say something, I don’t. Biting my tongue was hard and painful. Almost to the point of bleeding. Catching up, falling back into that same pattern that I left six years ago. It was either run away, or fall back into the same friendship I thought I didn’t care about all those years ago.
“Sure, Starbucks sounds like fun. Let’s do it.” So I chose the latter.
Big whoop…
Moving away, forgetting all about her was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. That day, I swore I’d never do that again as long as I lived. Seattle changed me in a lot of ways. But moving back to Charleston, reconnecting with Jayde and my old life, made me realize how much I never wanted to move back to Seattle. Jayde taught me what has become our greatest passage, everything happens for a reason. Jayde kept that passage in my head the whole ride to Seattle and the whole six years I was gone. Then, on that fateful day in the cafeteria, I knew exactly what she meant by that.
The shower water had turned cold at my step back into time. Jayde has been my best friend for the past twenty years and she’ll continue to be my best friend until the day we die. I refuse to believe she’s dead. No, I would have felt it. It’s such a shock whenever something happens so dramatically to either one of us, the other feels it. That’s how close we are. Our parents always said we were probably twins in a previous life because it’s scary how close we actually are.
Grabbing the towel on the rack, I wrap the white plush softness around my slim body and stand in front of the mirror, further reflecting on everything that has happened. Maybe I could stand to gain some weight. I’ve always been slimmer than everyone in my class. When I got into college, I became a gym nut, slimming down to a petite size in no time.
After I brush my teeth and get dressed in my best flowery dress, one which I despised more than anything but I’m only wearing it for Jayde, and once my hair is brushed and styled, I’m off to the office.
Arriving at the newspaper, everyone turns to look at me with sadness in all of their expressions. I try my best to give them my “don’t fucking look at me with pity” look, but it’s failing drastically.
Gwen is sitting off to the side at her desk and she’s staring over at the empty space that housed my best friend. I feel for her because we all miss Jayde. Her father used to say she was the sunshine that entered the room and brightened it up without even trying. Looking around the office, everything is eerily still. The crowd wasn’t as bustling busy as a newspaper should be.
“Why isn’t everyone doing what needs to be done to keep things normal around here?” I shout into the air in the best stern voice I can muster. That seems to break the trance Gwen seems to be in, then she shakes her head while returning to her work.
“Ahem, sorry, Anna. We’ll get to work,” Gwen says so low I almost didn’t hear her. I don’t know if she isn’t used to me being in charge or she’s just that depressed. Or a combination of the two. Me taking over here for a while shocked everyone, considering I know nothing about running a paper.
“Gwen, can I see you in Brooke’s office for a second?” Luckily, we sent Brooke out while Jayde was missing. This office can’t stand to see or react to her bitchy negative attitude while my best friend was god only knows where.
Gwen nods without voicing her reply which just breaks my heart. Gwen is always the energetic one who always has something sassy and witty to say. Something I admired about her was her ability to do the same thing Jayde could do which was light up a room. Her desk is always sparkly and glamorous. One might say she’s the southern belle out of all of us. As much as I despise anything remotely resembling anything girly like that, I have to admit she brings a certain flair to the office.
Walking into Brooke’s office, I shut and lock the door behind us so nob
ody can interrupt our talk. Gwen leans against Brooke’s desk and doesn’t look me in the eyes. I don’t need her to in order to see what sadness is going through them.
“Gwen…we’re all worried. Hell I’m worried just because you’re worried. But this office, this paper can’t stop going. Jayde would want us to keep it going for her sake. She’d kill us if we got it off schedule just for like a day,” I joke. Being as how this wasn’t really a laughing matter, I couldn’t help it. I had to do something or else I was going to burst into tears again, and I’m tired of crying.
Gwen sighs then rakes her eyes up to meet my gaze. “I know, Anna but I’m always sad. Jayde wouldn’t want us to be sad but, I can’t help it. She used to bring light into this office and now that she is gone, I can’t help but feel the darkness again. You know she helped me through my bad break-up I had recently? Talked me off the fucking ledge so many times I never thought I would get over it but she did it. I don’t know how, but she did it.”
I nod at Gwen’s confession. Knowing the depth of what happened really set things into perspective. Sarah and I weren’t the only ones struggling to find a calming grace while our best friend is missing.
Placing a hand on her shoulder, I smile. “I know what you went through was tough, but please don’t lose hope because it’s not lost. Hope is never lost when it comes to this bunch. The office may be a lonely place right now but only god knows when he will bring her back to us.” The whole bless aspect of the conversation was alien to me. This is the kind of mess I am without my best friend.
Gwen nods and without further hesitation, pulls me into a tight embrace that I gladly accept. Normally this kind of contact would make me feel a bit uncomfortable, but in a time like this, I would gladly accept any comfort that didn’t come out of a glass bottle and leave a potent aftertaste.
“Good, now go back out there and be the kick ass reporter Jayde knows you can be. I know she isn’t here, but hopefully her presence keeps the momentum going for all our sakes,” I say turning Gwen around and pushing her out of the office we chatted in. Scanning the office, my nose wrinkles just a tiny bit at the layout of the plush office. You’d think a CEO worked here but no, just the wicked bitch of the south. Brooke really needs to just give up this office because I have a feeling she won’t be working here much longer. This whole “I’m better than everyone else because I have several degrees of bullshit” really is getting old. Walking out of her office, I smile knowing the wicked bitch of the south has a limited time up on her throne. And that’s just what I’m going to tell her when she returns to the office after all this is taken care of. Oh, this will be so much fun.
Chapter 4
Sarah
The café was a mad house. Everyone was scurrying around like mice. Nobody watching where they were walking, coffee was getting spilled everywhere you turned. Which only added to the amount of stress I was under. It’s bad enough Jayde was missing, but this café was falling apart. Knowing Phoebe, she just had to leave in the middle of lunch time right when the rush was filtering in. Sure, there was money that needed to be deposited into the bank at that exact moment but hell, it could have waited. Regular customers were complaining they weren’t getting their mocha latte Americano with light whipped cream or some other fancy drink bullshit like that. All the orders started blurring together after a while.
Luckily, thank the bright stars in space we had just hired a new employee and he was picking up on our routine and how things run around here which made everything else move smooth as silk. Leo, who also happens to be Phoebe’s cousin, decided he wanted to help out with his cousin’s café while he was on break from college. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t protest to additional help, but when he walked in on that first day, I was floored. Phoebe comes from a long line of beautiful genetics. It must be that California air. Leo looks like one of those guys off Baywatch. Without the cheesy, slow-motion running.
“Leo! There’s a customer at the register. Would you mind taking that for me?” I yell from the espresso machine as it churns and heats up milk for lattes. I turn back around before he can see my blush. To say I’m a bit smitten with him is an understatement. It’s a full on crush.
“Sure thing doll.” His use of a sweet term of endearment has me smiling. There’s just a little itty bitty problem….he’s twenty-five years old. Granted, he’s only been working here for a couple weeks, but he’s just there. All the time. Silently tormenting me to no end with his beautiful olive skin and bright blue eyes. Typical California boy with all the bells and whistles.
It’s no secret he likes me. Oh, this girl isn’t dense. I know exactly how he feels. I catch him watching me when I turn to watch him. A double stalker effect if you want to get technical. And if I was in a different situation, maybe I could like him too. But Jayde needs me more than anything right now and I can’t get involved with anybody, hot or not. It’s just not feasible right now.
As if I was caught with my hand in the cookie jar, Leo pulls me from my thoughts by tapping me on the shoulder. “Did you hear me? I need a bear claw and a chocolate chip muffin with a small coffee.” His hand still lingers on my shoulder and the warmth had me shivering. Ignoring it, I go to make the order and hand it to the customer without getting distracted anymore from my new co-worker. I smile in spite of myself because if Jayde were here, she would be having the same thoughts right now. Or telling me to stop being a coward and ask him out.
Maybe these were selfish thoughts. I didn’t know how to sort them out until they were thrown right in front of me. Hell, even then I still can’t sort them out. Looking around the café, avoiding Leo’s gaze at all costs, the familiar sounds of coffee beans being ground, the friendly chatter of the regulars filtering through, all a reminder of how insane my life has become recently. Jayde was always the rock that held everything together. Now that she’s gone, that rock has been lifted making my life an utter wreck. More selfish thoughts of the great and pathetic Sarah Burgess.
Phoebe comes strolling in from the back room unannounced and practically makes me jump out of my skin.
“What the hell? When did you get back?” I say in surprise. Spinning around suddenly at her return, my clumsy ass knocks over a tray of pastries that were sitting on the rack, cooling before being put out for display. I groan inwardly, trying not to show the distain on my face.
Phoebe catches the tray just in time before they all clattered onto the floor, but a few didn’t make it. “Whoa, where’s the fire?” She asks amused. The only fire is in my broken heart, that’s where. I quickly squat down to retrieve the ruined pastries from the disgusting floor.
Chewing on my bottom lip, I grab the nearest trash can my icing caked hands can grasp and start chucking the pastries one by one into the garbage.
“Sarah,” Phoebe says but I barely register it. The only thing that is in my focus is getting these pastries into the trash and a fresh batch into the oven before the next rush comes through.
“Sarah!” she yells, but still nothing. Phoebe doesn’t realize what’s going on inside my head. What war I’m raging within myself. She doesn’t know what happened. Nobody does or did. Now it’s all over the fucking news and any hush hush that has been kept quiet is thrown out the goddamn window. A single tear slides down my cheek, landing on my shirt. Followed by another then another and before the last pastry is tossed, I’m sobbing uncontrollably on the floor of the café.
Phoebe grabs the trash can and tosses it aside, spilling the contents I just cleaned up which only angers me more. “Why did you do that?!” I say between sniffles. Wiping my tears with my apron, I kneel over to try and pick up what was tossed out but Phoebe stops me by pulling me up like a five-year-old.
“Come with me,” she demands, pulling on my shirt to lead me in the direction of her office. Normally when anyone goes in there, it’s to get their final paycheck after being eighty-sixed. Nobody goes in Phoebe’s office, ever.
“Close the door behind you and have a seat,” she demands
once we’re inside her office. I do as she says before taking a seat in the brown leather chair against the wall facing her desk.
Settling into the seat, my head stays cast down. Tear stains coat my shirt and apron. I’m sure my make-up looks like a two-dollar whore on the streets of Vegas.
“Sarah, I know what you’re going through. Hell, no I don’t because I can’t even imagine what something like this must be doing to you. Your sister, as brave and strong as she is, will come right back to you. I believe that with all my heart. Leo has been asking me why you’ve been off and I finally told him.” Looking up into her gaze, I try to remain passive but it fails drastically. I didn’t want the whole world to know this but it’s looking like that isn’t going to be the case.
“I didn’t want him to know. He doesn’t even know me,” I mumble under my breath. Nor should I let him get to know me in such a state I’m in.
“Doesn’t matter. Leo has sort of a sixth sense for certain people. When he came to me the other day asking about you, I brushed it off. I thought you wouldn’t let it interfere with your work, but I can see that it has and for good reason. You have been spending way too much time here and not focusing on what’s really important.”
For the longest time, I tried to fight it. Tried to keep it away from work, and away from anyone who wasn’t family. That fight was a losing fucking battle from the start. I should have known my work family and actual family would collide one day. I smile without meeting her gaze at my sudden unspoken use of the word fuck. Jayde would be so proud.
“You’re smiling. I can’t tell if you’re happy or having a straight-jacket moment,” Phoebe says with a tilt to her head. I shake it off suddenly while dabbing my eyes with my apron.
Keep the Faith (Bulletproof #1.5) Page 2