Her brow puckered, and her eyes began to water again. “Why is this so complicated? Why does it have to be so hard?”
He sucked in a breath. “I know, and I’m so sorry, darlin’. I’d do anything to make this right. Anything.”
“Anything but let me go to the police,” she whispered bitterly then raised a hand and covered her eyes. “I killed a man, Mundo. I need to be punished.”
A snarl escaped him. “The last thing you need is to be punished, Christie. It was all self-defense. Even if you told the cops everything, they’d dismiss it as self-defense. You know that. You’re just being irrational.”
“Gee, I wonder why,” she bit off and started to scramble off his lap. “I watched my mate being shot, got abducted, killed a guy, and had to run as bullets flew past me… I think I’m entitled to be a little bit irrational, goddammit!”
“Of course you are. I’m not saying you can’t be as irrational as you fucking want to be. I’m just saying that when you think about this, when you sleep some more on it, you’ll realize going to the cops won’t solve anything.”
She scrambled off the bed and began to pace the tight confines of the room. He stayed there, legs crossed in a loose lotus position, and watched her. She needed to work off the nervous energy that was flooding her. Christie was right; she’d been through a hell of a lot, and processing it all was going to take time.
“What do you mean you police yourselves?”
The question came out of the blue. She’d been pacing for a good five minutes, and Mundo had zoned, watching her and taking comfort in her presence—even if she was mad as hell. The answer to her query seemed rather obvious to him, but Mundo patiently explained, “I think you know what it means. We’ll deal with this in-house.”
She propped her hands on her hips. “You think I haven’t watched Sons of Anarchy?” Her voice turned into a high squeak. “You think I don’t know that this means some kind of gang war?”
“There’s no need for you to worry about it,” he tried to tell her, to calm her down, but the words seemed to inflame her more.
Christie stormed over to the bed, put one knee on the mattress, and leaned over. Prodding him in the chest, right where the bullet had gone in and where it was still tender—a fact he felt sure she was aware of—she hissed, “You get involved in any kind of gang war, James Aston, and I will go to the police. Do you hear me? I will confess about everything. I will not have you going off and getting yourself killed over this.”
Mundo gritted his teeth. “I have to do what’s right.”
“And you think it’s right to ride off on your hog, fully armed, and what? Do a drive by shooting on their house? On their places of business?” She let out a shriek, one that was loaded with her exasperation as well as her panic. “Are you insane?” She shook her head, the motion definitive. “I won’t have it, Mundo. I can forgive you for what happened today. I really can. We can get past this. But if you go ahead with this, if you get involved with anything that puts your life in danger, I will never forgive you, and I will never live with you again. Do you understand me?”
Chapter Eleven
The ultimatum still rang in her ears.
It pulsed in time to the beat of her heart, the ramifications of it setting her nerves alight once more.
She’d been stupid to push him like that, so stupid, but the truth of it was, she’d had no say in the matter. Fear and adrenaline had pushed her into making the demand, and even now, she couldn’t fault herself for having made it.
The only way they could police themselves, the only way they could make this right, was for more blood to be shed.
And even though that neighborhood had mostly passed by in a blur, she’d seen the kids. They were innocents in all this. A drive by shooting, or whatever it was they intended on doing in search of retribution, would only hurt the people who didn’t deserve it.
The gang lords, or whatever they were called, didn’t give a shit about the little people. She doubted the top members even gave a shit if their own people got hurt.
She didn’t know what could be done, but whatever it was, if Mundo got involved in the killing of innocents, she would never be able to work past that.
It was as simple as that.
Once she’d made the ultimatum, she’d stormed out of the room, and he was mad enough that he hadn’t come chasing after her. Maybe it was a wise decision for him to have made because she still felt hot from the argument, and she’d come to sit outside to cool off.
Behind her, the clubhouse was lit up like electricity was free. Light poured out of every room, and noise blared from the left side of the building, right down at the far left of the property. She hadn’t been given a grand tour, but she imagined that was where most of the men hung out. She also imagined that if she happened to walk in there, she’d come across scenes of such debauchery it would make a cop blush.
Well, maybe that was a slight exaggeration. Or it was something from an overzealous imagination, one fueled by too many MC romances.
Would they do drugs there, right in front of everyone? Would bunnies and brothers really have sex in public?
She bit her lip at that last thought. The notion was surprisingly hot. She wouldn’t like it if Mundo took her there, in public, but the idea of watching someone else was enough to make her squirm on the top step she’d planted herself on twenty minutes ago.
It wasn’t right to start feeling horny when her life was up in the air, but now thoughts of sex had intruded, they weren’t going away, and she knew those goddamn Goddesses were to blame.
“Christ, cut me some slack, would you?” she griped.
“I would, but I don’t know what I’ve done to offend you.”
The words had Christie jolting, and she whipped her head around to see a tall woman striding toward her. “Who are you?” she blurted.
“I’m Annette.”
“Annette?” She narrowed her eyes in concentration. “Hang on, your Mars’ mate, right?” The last time Mundo had talked about her, Christie had been so jealous, and seeing the woman in question, she didn’t blame her insecurities for getting the better of her. Now that she’d spent more time bonding with her mate, she knew jealousy wasn’t necessary, but still, the woman was beautiful. And in her rumpled outfit of jeans and a sweater, forever to be known as the ‘kidnapping look,’ she felt like a frump in the face of this woman who wore a thin silky camisole and slacks.
“I’m afraid so,” Annette clucked. “The man’s more potent than a Jagerbomb and as bad for my health too, but I love the bastard, so I’m stuck with him” She shot Christie a wink then laughed when the only thing that happened was Christie’s mouth dropping open. “You’ll stay like that if the wind changes.”
Christie clapped her lips together. “Your grandmother used to tell you that too, huh?”
“Yeah. All the damned time.” Annette snickered and ducked down onto the step beside her.
They were overlooking the yard, a large space that was fenced in and utterly devoid of any charm. It reminded Christie of the prison yards where she worked—barren, sparse. There was a lawn though, and quite plush it was too. But there were only trees lining the perimeter, even though the space could have called for great clusters. The yard had to be a good couple of acres, and yet the MC had done nothing to it.
Maybe that was because they were all men, testosterone-dripping and lacking any imagination.
At least, she thought Shifters were dripping in testosterone…
Annette sighed, and the sound broke her concentration. “You wanted to talk to me?”
“Maybe, but I also wanted to stare out at the stars. This far out, you can see them. Even though these bastards have more lights on than the city, you can still see them.”
“You live in the city too, huh?”
“No. I used to though. I live here now.” Annette wrinkled her nose. “Mars is the leader, so it’s not like he could live in my apartment, even though I’d prefer it.” She shrug
ged. “Although I’ve made our quarters quite nice, it’s not like home yet.”
Christie’s throat clogged at the idea of living out here. Would Mundo expect it of her too? She bit her lip at the idea, not liking it one bit. The only saving grace was when she thought back to how close her apartment had been to his workshop… Surely Mundo would prefer to live with her in the city than out here, a good hour away.
Even a man who loved riding his bike would surely love to cut his commute by more than half?
“You can decorate your own space, by the way,” Annette continued. “The room is yours to do with as you wish.”
“It is?” She thought back to the bedroom she’d just left and grimaced. It had had about as much personality as the yard in front of her.
“Yup.” The other woman chuckled. “I know that face. I wasn’t too happy about it either, but with things being as precarious as they are, it’s safer to be here. Well…” Her voice drifted away and her hand seemed to hover over her belly, the move almost subconscious. “It’s safe most of the time.”
Christie heaved a sigh. “Did Mundo send you?”
“No, actually. I came of my own accord.” Annette sounded amused. “I do that, you know. Have my own thoughts and opinions?”
She flushed. “Sorry. I didn't mean for that to sound weird.”
“It’s okay. I’m not mad. I just happened to see you out here, and I know how freaky this can all be, so I wanted to see if I could help.”
“There isn’t much you can do unless you can stop a gang war before it starts.”
“I’m the mate of the Prez, Christie, what do you think?”
She blinked at her. “You could help?”
“You think I want my mate riding off and doing stupid shit too?” Annette pursed her lips. “Truth is, Mars doesn’t want it either. He has sense, thank Christ. Plus, it’s not like he wants to be the leader of this band of bear brothers.” She sniffed, but Christie wasn’t sure if it was of the sarcastic variety or if she was being dismissive. “That means he does things his way and not the way we’d imagine an MC going about their business.”
“You mean, the whole human trafficking shit,” Christie snarled, pulling her knees up to her chest and hugging them tightly.
That her mate had been involved in something of that nature disgusted her, but it wasn’t like there was anything she could do about it. His past was his past, just as hers was. She couldn’t change what he’d done, but she could help shape his future. The first order of business was to ensure the idiot didn’t start up a gang war over her and get himself, and ultimately her thanks to the man bond, killed in the process.
Annette sighed. “I know. It’s hard to get over that, isn’t it? But everyone is so happy to have Mars as their leader, it’s pathetic. I mean, I’ve had to meet every single MC brother in this place. That’s like three thousand men. Would you imagine that three thousand individuals, each with their own inclinations as to the laws of the land, would all be content to have Mars as a leader?
“They’re bears, Christie. That means they do shit their way. I watched Mars challenge the old leader, that bastard Jackson, and they fought to the death.” She shuddered, and Christie didn’t blame her. What the hell kind of world had she gotten involved in? “And yet, not even one of the brothers has challenged Mars for the position. What does that tell you? They all wanted him as their Prez in the first place. Why? None of them wanted any part of what that cartel was doing, but they’re instinctually inclined to follow their leader. They did as they were told and hated Jackson for it. Not one of them has mourned his death. They’ve embraced the women they saved from the cartel and have done nothing but appreciate having Mars as their leader.
“He’s a good man. He’ll keep your Mundo reined in. Don’t you worry about it.”
“I don’t want him to keep him reined in. I want Mundo to have the sense that God gave him, for fuck’s sake. Is it so much to ask he doesn’t go out and kill someone?”
“No, but you’re in a different world now. Look, I know it’s scary. You’re what—a dentist?” When Christie nodded, her mouth downturned with distress, Annette sighed. “I was a war reporter. I have PTSD. This life, it’s nothing crazier than what I had before. In fact, the craziness of this world helps me, and Mars’ presence has done wonders for me, more than I can say.
“We both know what it feels like to have a mate bond. We both know what it feels like to be without the mate bond. Mundo got out three days ago, so you’ve only been mated for that length of time, but that’s enough for you to know two very important things—there isn’t a damn thing you can do about the mate bond, and there isn’t a damn thing you’d want to do, either. Whether you like it or not, that man is yours and you’re his. So, you have to figure out how to reconcile yourself to this new world, because hon, let’s face it, the only reason you have this crazy, magnificent, wonderful mate bond is because he’s a Shifter. And the MC is just a front for the clan, as far as I can see. They’re doing less illegal stuff than before thanks to Mars, and what’s happening now is the retaliation for something that happened before with the old Prez. Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?”
“That I have to like this situation and lump it?” Christie said wryly, although, she did appreciate the woman’s candor.
“Basically, yeah.”
She pressed her chin on top of her knees and murmured, “I don’t have to lump anything where Mundo is concerned. I know you’re right. I know he’s mine as I’m his. And I know that living without the mate bond is something I couldn’t do. But that doesn’t mean I can stand him threatening to go out and kill people just because he’s a bear. I don’t care if it’s a part of his nature, a nature that has given me him in the first place. You’re a writer. You wrote in war zones. I didn’t. I swore an oath to do no harm, for Christ’s sake. I can’t live this kind of life. It might suit you, but it doesn’t me.
“That being said, I can handle him being a part of the clan. He works in the bike shop; he’s a mechanic. That I can handle. But this other shit? No, no way. And I don’t think I’m asking the world for my partner not to go off and commit serial murder!”
Annette wrinkled her nose then nudged her gently with her elbow. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”
Christie barked out a laugh. “I’m glad someone else thinks so.”
“I wasn’t trying to make out that it was right to go and hurt people. I’m just trying to make you see that they do things differently here because of what they are. When I first met Mars, the same people who took you today managed to shoot me. Mars said his bear was constantly wearing at his control, tearing at it, trying to get him to go off and kill the men who had hurt me. Mundo is going through the exact same thing, Christie. His bear is an intrinsic part of him. Imagine having a pissed off bear rattling around inside you. I mean, it’s not pretty, is it?
“The fact that Mundo is here now, not off in Houston somewhere trying to avenge you, says a hell of a lot about the man’s control.”
“When you put it like that—” Her words stymied to a halt. It choked her up to think that Mundo was fighting an internal battle because of her, and that a bear, a magical bear, was wanting to protect her because that creature considered her its mate too. “I’m sorry you got hurt, Annette,” she finished, rather than say what she wanted to.
The other woman shrugged. “It’s okay. It all worked out all right in the end.”
MUNDO (BBW Bear Shifter MC Romance) (MC Bear Mates Book 2) Page 13