Gabe watched the crowd going nuts below him. A huge smile stretched across his face. He couldn’t call from here, but he texted his mom, “On my way.”
She answered, “Good. Room 205.”
“Was the baby born yet?”
“She’s pushing now.”
Reading that last text made his heart sink. After everything, he was still going to miss it. Tears pricked his eyes and he wiped them away. He craned his head to see how much farther the hospital was.
They set down minutes later and Gabe ran as fast as he had on the field. Random shouts of exclamation broke out around him as he ran. They called his name, they called the team’s name. He waved and smiled and didn’t stop running for even a moment. He wished now that he had paid better attention when they had come to the hospital to look at the facilities. He didn’t know where he was going and pausing to read the sign to find “Maternity Ward” had cost him precious seconds.
His feet squeaked on the tile floor as he rounded the corner and saw room 205. He barreled in, causing everyone in the room to look up in shock.
“Gabe!” Carolyn reached for him. She was covered in sweat and her hair stuck to her face, but there was no baby yet. Her feet were being held back by a nurse and his mother. His father must be in the waiting room. He hadn’t bothered to check.
He dashed to Carolyn’s side and took her hand. A nurse came and threw a hospital gown on him, covering his sweaty uniform. He still wore his pads and everything but his helmet. Taking it all off would take too much time.
“You made it,” she said, a tear running down her cheek.
He wiped it away and kissed the top of her head. “I did.”
“Did you win? I wasn’t able to watch the end of the game.” She stopped and scrunched her face in pain. She grunted and the doctor told her push.
He squeezed her hand tighter and watched in awe. When she stopped to breathe, after the doctor told her the contraction was over, she looked up at him.
“It was 51 to 14.”
Her eyes widened. “You killed them!”
One of the nurses shouted, “Yes!” and punched the air.
He laughed, but it was short lived. Another contraction was starting and it was time for her to push again.
Gabe watched the whole scene in awe. He might have just given it everything he had on that field, but it seemed like nothing compared to what Carolyn was doing now. She was braver than he was, and stronger. He might hit hard on the field, but he didn’t think he could take the pain she was going through. She squeezed his hand tight enough to break it.
“You’re doing great, Care,” he said. He counted with the doctor while she was pushing, and he brushed her hair back from her face. He tried his best to remember everything he’d read about this moment. What else was he supposed to be doing?
At one point, he looked across the bed at his mom. She looked back at him, smiling a joyful, tearful smile. His heart swelled with pride. She was going to be a grandmother in a matter of minutes. Though, the next thought came automatically. Unless it was Kenny’s baby after all.
Gabe hated that this perfect moment was tainted with those thoughts, but it was hard not to have them. It was the truth. This may not be his baby. May not be his mother’s grandchild. It made him sick and his smile faltered. No matter what, he had to be there for Carolyn. Maybe the baby would come out looking so much like him, they wouldn’t need a DNA test.
He didn’t have much time to think about it, though, because the next time she pushed, the doctor said, “The head is out.”
Carolyn sagged in relief.
“One more good push, Carolyn,” the doctor said again.
She pushed once more and then the sound of crying filled the air. The doctor held up a wet, squirming baby.
He was so shocked by it, that for a whole minute, he just froze. He hadn’t looked that closely, but when someone said, “It’s a girl!” he glanced down, and sure enough. She was indeed a girl. A daughter.
The nurses wiped the baby off, wrapped her, and handed her to Carolyn. She held the baby close, then looked up at him with tears in her eyes. In that moment, his swollen heart burst. His eyes filled and he couldn’t stop looking at the beautiful baby in the arms of the woman he loved so much.
After a few minutes, Carolyn said, “Do you want to hold her?”
He nodded and stretched out his arms, his heart pounding. Gabe was used to handling things hard. Tackling, throwing, running. None of what he did on the field could be used now. His daughter was the most delicate and fragile thing he’d ever held. He was stiff and nervous, but pulled the little bundle closer to his chest.
He looked down at the baby, who looked back up at him and stretched out her tiny fist. It was almost as if she was fist bumping him, like so many had on that day. But all his accomplishments were nothing compared to this moment.
He felt the weight of her body, the weight she placed on his overflowing heart. And he knew. As he looked down at her, he knew it didn’t matter. If she turned out to be biologically Kenny’s or his, it wouldn’t matter. He would protect this little girl with his life. He’d be the best father or step father he could. He’d love her mother, and he’d love her forever.
They stayed in the hospital just a few days. No matter how they scrutinized her face, little Jocelyn looked just like her mother. Any hint of her father was too hidden to be obvious. Gabe’s mom swore she looked just like him. He didn’t see it, though.
Carolyn hadn’t called Kenny, but he must’ve known. Not only did Coach and most of the team know why Gabe left in a hurry when there was so much celebrating going on, but there were reporters waiting outside the hospital and the maternity ward. They couldn’t come in, luckily, because of the hospital security, but every time Gabe left to get food or the one time he went home to change out of his uniform and get a shower, they converged on him. They shouted questions about the game, about the baby.
Kenny must’ve talked to someone, because one of the reporters asked, “Are you the father, or is Kenny Boyer?” He couldn’t even answer that question himself. He’d ignored that reporter.
His standard answer was that they should listen to what Coach Tucker had to say about the game in the press conference. The other questions, the personal ones about him and Carolyn and the baby, he answered carefully and rarely.
“My girlfriend and I have just had a healthy baby girl and everyone is doing well.” That was all he’d say. He repeated it as many times as he had to, until they stopped asking, or until he reached wherever he was going.
Today they were going home. The last few days had been an interesting mix of learning how to care for a baby—diapers were far trickier than they looked—celebrating his huge win at the Bear Bowl, and dealing with the fatigue in between. He had spent the nights in the hospital with Carolyn. They got up to feed the baby and change her when needed. He loved those middle of the night moments. When the hospital was quiet and their visitors had gone. It was just Carolyn and Jocelyn and him, sharing a private moment.
Now they just had to fill out paperwork, and they could be released. Carolyn sat on the bed, writing on the tray that went over the bed. Gabe bounced Jocelyn in his arms as she slept. Carolyn seemed fidgety, chewing on her lip as she filled out the form. She kept stopping and staring out the window.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
She looked over at him, her lip quivering, then she burst into sobs. “I don’t know what to put!” She buried her face in her hands.
Gabe came closer and rubbed her back, then looked at the form at the place where she’d stopped. It was where she was supposed to write in the father’s information. He took in a slow, deep breath.
Then, he handed Jocelyn to her and picked up the pen.
“What are you doing?” Carolyn asked.
“Finishing the form.” Where it asked the father’s name, he put his own. For Jocelyn’s last name, he wrote Randall. He hadn’t told Carolyn what he’d decided, but it didn’t mat
ter. This baby was his whether his blood was in her veins or not.
He set the pen down and smiled at Carolyn. She looked from the form to him, her eyes wide and still full of tears. Jocelyn whimpered.
“Are you sure?” Carolyn whispered.
“Absolutely.”
They turned in the paperwork and packed up their things. It took him a while to get the car seat in right. The hospital attendant who had to check it helped him, then they loaded the baby in with the rest of their stuff. He helped Carolyn in. She was still healing and in some pain. Then he got in and drove home as slowly and carefully as he ever had in his life.
“The car seat protects her, you know.” Carolyn gave him a crocked smile as they crept along the road.
“I know.” He made a slow turn into their apartment complex. “I can’t wait to get out of this place. The checks are being cut today. It won’t be long until we can get a big house.”
She smiled at him before bending to take Jocelyn out of her seat. “It’ll be nice to be able to paint her room and make it special. Now that we know it will be pink.”
“We’ll do it all right. We’ll do every room in the house if you want.”
They went inside and Carolyn lowered herself onto the couch with the baby in her arms. Gabe sat beside her, a little unsure of what to do.
“Relax.” Carolyn chucked. “Can you get me some water, please?”
He jumped to his feet. “Sure. Anything else?”
She shook her head and prepared to feed Jocelyn.
He brought her water back and watched her breastfeeding for a moment, wondering over the marvel of her body and what it had done. He felt a stirring in his pants, but had to ignore it. It would be weeks before he could make love to her again. Far too long. And it’d been far too long. He had to look away from her bulging breasts. It was too much for him.
He scurried around their apartment, doing everything he could. He washed dishes and laundry, brought her water and made her food. He wanted Carolyn to be able to focus on caring for the baby and resting to recover. So, he did everything he could think to do and asked his mother what he should be doing when he didn’t know what else to do.
He sat down to pay the bills later that night. Carolyn and Jocelyn were both napping on the sofa in the living room, some romance movie playing in the background to no one. He picked up the pile of mail he hadn’t gone through while they were in the hospital, and sitting on his desk, under the mail pile was the large envelope. It was the DNA test kit.
He picked it up and held it for a moment. He considered throwing it away. He didn’t want to know. Jocelyn was his. No test could confirm or deny the love he felt in his heart for her. But Carolyn would want to know, and Kenny would demand it. For legal reasons, they had to know. He sighed and set it down, wishing for the millionth time that things were different.
Chapter 18
Carolyn’s eyes snapped open to the sound of Jocelyn’s crying. She pulled back the covers and half fell, half slid out of the bed. Her feet hit the ground hard. She turned fast to look at Gabe. Her thump had been loud enough to wake him. But he still slept soundly. He’d been so good about getting up with the baby, helping her take care of everything. He needed his sleep, too.
Carolyn crept into the baby’s room and picked up her crying daughter. She sat in the glider, and the crying stopped immediately once Jocelyn knew what was coming. She sucked away happily while Carolyn gazed down at her. So much had changed in the last few days.
They had this new little life to care for. Obviously, she was the biggest change. Instead of just focusing on each other, Carolyn and Gabe now took turns changing and rocking Jocelyn. They bathed her together, which had been fun if not messy. He brought her to Carolyn on many occasions for feeding. Gabe had become the perfect father and boyfriend. Not that he wasn’t great before, but now he was unbelievable.
Since the season had ended, he now had plenty of time off. They all even had a break from training, though he still liked to workout a few times a week. No sense in getting totally out of shape, he’d told her. He had gotten many calls from the media to do interviews, photoshoots, endorsements. He did once or two, but said the rest would wait a few weeks. He wanted to give them all of his attention right now.
And he did. Aside from his workouts and daily bear run, he was with her 100%. He cooked and cleaned and did the grocery shopping. Whatever she needed, he did. It was almost too much for her to handle. He was too perfect. The thought kept coming to her mind that he might be doing all of this for nothing. The second he found out it wasn’t his baby, he’d be gone and she’d be alone. It kept her up at nights. It filled her stomach with anxiety.
The envelope sat on the kitchen table like a death sentence to their happy life. She had called Kenny to tell him the baby was born and ask him to come and give his cheek swab. He would be there later that day. She had debated sending Gabe out with the baby just to avoid any further unpleasantness when he came, but Gabe refused to leave her alone with Kenny. She hoped there wouldn’t be a fight and that Kenny wouldn’t try to claim that Jocelyn looked like him, or worse, that he’d try to hurt her or take her. Everyone agreed, even her mother who had finally come to visit, and Gabe’s parents, that Jocelyn looked just like her. But Jocelyn’s father’s appearance was not easily detected. Carolyn had even taken a photo of Kenny and a photo of Gabe and one night when Gabe was sleeping, compared the two to the sleeping Jocelyn. But she wasn’t able to tell. All she knew was that when the results came back, things would either be even more perfect, or her world would collapse.
She’d prepared for either eventuality. If Jocelyn was Gabe’s, they’d likely be married, move into a huge house, and she’d be the wife of the biggest bear shifter football player in the league. They’d be rich, Gabe had said. And from the size of his first paycheck, which would arrive in the mail any day now, he was right. That was the life she wanted desperately. A life with him by her side.
But, if the worst happened and she was Kenny’s, Carolyn decided that she would move home with her mom. It was closer to Sam than she liked, and it was much too far away from Gabe. But it was far from Kenny, too. She guessed she would have to give him some sort of custody or visitation and she knew she’d need a good lawyer. She would make him pay child support, of course, and since he was also a pro ball player, it should be enough for her to live on without having to work and put Jocelyn in daycare. It would be a help to her mother, too, if she could pick up most of the household bills.
But that was not the life she wanted. Not at all. She loved Gabe, and had felt like she was living in a bubble of pure joy the last days. But bubbles were fragile and easily burst. She prayed every night that the results would say Gabe was the father. She cried to God to forgive her of her mistake and for causing this mess in the first place. But Gabe felt like a blessing, and she hoped God had sent him to her for a reason—that he would be the one.
When Jocelyn had finished eating and Carolyn had put her to her shoulder to burp her, she set her back down in the crib and watched her drift off to sleep for a few minutes before returning to bed.
She slipped between her sheets, curling up close to Gabe, and it felt like only minutes passed before she was woken again by Jocelyn’s screams. By now it was morning, though. Gabe stretched and got out of bed.
“I’ll get her,” he said. A minute later, he came into the room with the baby and sat in bed while Carolyn fed her.
They got up and started their day. This routine was still new to them, but had become increasingly familiar. Gabe went to make breakfast while Carolyn got Jocelyn settled in her bouncy seat in the living room while she folded yesterday’s laundry.
MUNDO (BBW Bear Shifter MC Romance) (MC Bear Mates Book 2) Page 35