“Now,” she continued. “You need to eat.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Dean, this isn’t up for debate, either. Eat some food.”
“Fine!” he said, grabbing the other duffel bag and ripping it open. He pulled out one of the meal packs and tore the covering off. He dug in.
“I knew you were hungry,” she teased. The look he shot her only made her laugh. For once, since everything had started happening, she truly felt at ease. She didn’t know what it was – maybe a combination of sitting outdoors on a warm summer night, with a gorgeous man by her side and her dog at her feet. The stream below gurgled softly as the sun started to go down behind a distant mountain. It almost felt like everything was normal, in that moment.
“This isn’t so bad, right now.”
Dean grunted in answer, swallowing a mouthful of food.
“It could be worse,” she offered. He grunted again; whether he agreed or disagreed, she couldn’t be sure.
After that, they didn’t talk much more. The exhaustion of hiking through the mountains all day was taking its toll on Gina. Petey was already fast asleep at her feet. She looked over at Dean, who was sitting up, back straight, watching for signs of anyone approaching.
Then, she looked a little bit closer – he was sitting up, but he wasn’t watching for intruders. His eyes were closed and she noticed he was rocking back and forth, as if he was trying to stay awake but failing.
“Dean,” she whispered. No response. She reached a hand out, carefully, and put it on his shoulder. He jerked his eyes open.
“What?”
“Lay down,” she told him.
“We need someone to keep watch throughout the night,” he said back. It made sense… but…
“There’s no one out here, Dean. One night. Get some rest. Plus, those pills aren’t helping.”
“Yeah, yeah, okay,” he mumbled. With that, he lay down on the blanket and curled up. He was back to sleep within seconds. She had to make sure he didn’t exert himself too much – he would be no good to her dead.
Gina lay down next to him, making sure to keep her distance. There was a cool breeze blowing in off of a distant mountain, carrying over the cold water in the stream below. She shivered. All around her, she could hear noises: bugs, animals, twigs breaking. But both Petey and Dean were already fast asleep, and she knew that they wouldn’t let anyone get close to her. She felt somewhat safe as she pulled a cover over herself.
She considered, then threw the blanket over Dean, too. Dean’s heavy breathing was putting her at ease, and her thoughts became groggy. Gina decided it was time for bed. There was nothing she could do, anyway. She was as safe as she could be.
***
After a few moments, Gina slid close to Dean. She justified it by telling herself it was so they could share each other’s body heat, something she was sure was important in survival situations like this. She felt as Dean’s arm wrapped around her body, pulling her even closer.
“Gina?” he whispered.
She wanted to tell him not to talk. She wanted to tell him not to ruin the moment — there was something there, between them, and ignoring it was impossible. Right? Or was she crazy?
“Gina, we shouldn’t,” he said, but his hands said differently. She felt one against her stomach and the other running a finger through her hair. She turned on her back, his hand moving against her bare skin, just below her navel.
Then she was leaning her head up, not sure why she was doing it, and she pressed her lips against his. For the slightest of seconds, Dean hesitated, then he kissed her deeply. His lips were extremely soft — not something she would have expected in a man as hardened as Dean. His social skills had suffered while he was in his bunker, but his kissing skills hadn’t.
Gina let his lips wash over her, let his hands explore her. One danced through her hair, tickling the back of her neck, just behind the ear, while the other started to move across her body. He moved it slowly — hesitantly — as if he was unsure of what he was doing. His large fingers moved across her skin, one dipping underneath the waistband of her pants and underwear ever so slightly. She gasped, wanting him to pleasure her, but he pulled it away.
Instead, his hand slid underneath her shirt, over her stomach and towards her breasts. He paused again when his hand reached one, his entire palm cupping it easily. He squeezed and Gina let out a slow moan. How long had it been? She couldn’t be sure, but this felt right. His fingers moved just above her bra, warm on her skin, and then dipped down underneath the fabric.
Another gasp, their lips still locked together, came out of her mouth. She moaned as his finger touched her areola, just slightly, then down to her nipple. She felt it harden underneath his touch; felt him harden against her leg. She wanted him to take her right now, here in this forest, on this warm summer night, the stream roiling quietly by them.
Gina rolled over, now facing him, and propped herself up on an elbow. Using her free hand, she started to pull his shirt off. In a split second, Dean had yanked it over his head and tossed it to the side. Gina’s heart was hammering in her chest, as it always did whenever she saw Dean like this, but now — now she could touch him.
She reached a hand out, running it along his toned stomach. It was firm and she could feel his muscles tighten underneath her touch. Then she was running her hand over his chest, sliding across one of his nipples, wrapping it around his muscled shoulder. Dean was a man that took care of himself, and it showed.
Then her shirt was coming off. In a move that even surprised her, his fingers found the clasp of her bra and undid it in one smooth motion. She caught her bra as it fell off of her body, covering herself for just a moment longer. Then she let it fall, revealing herself to Dean.
Even in the darkness, she knew he could see her, even better than she could see him. She heard his breath catch in his throat, saw the color rise in his cheeks, saw his eyes widen. He pressed his face against her neck, kissing and sucking. Goosebumps exploded across her body with a shudder.
Then he was kissing her collarbone, passionately, then her shoulder, and then her forearm before jumping back towards her chest, just above the tops of her breasts. His lips left little wet marks across her body as he went. Slowly, he started kissing down her chest, a trail of kisses down one breast until he reached the nipple. When he did, his lips locked around it softly, pulling it into his mouth. Gina felt his tongue making a wet circle around it.
And then he moved on to her other breast, one of his hands taking his mouth’s place. His fingers squeezed the nipple slightly. She moaned and kissed one of his ears, sucking it between her lips.
This is it, she thought, her fingers starting to unbutton her pants. As she did so, her finger pulling on the zipper, Dean’s hands found hers and stopped her.
“We shouldn’t,” he growled, looking down at the blanket and avoiding her eyes.
“What?” she asked, dumbfounded. What had happened?
“I… I… can’t,” he said, still looking down.
“You can’t?”
She rolled over, turning to face him and pulling herself away from him, if ever so slightly. In the darkness, she couldn’t see much, but she could see enough. She could see the emotion on Dean’s face. She hoped he could see the anger on hers.
“Why not, Dean?” she asked harshly. At her feet, Petey looked up in alarm and moved slightly away. He knew that tone and he was smart enough to get some distance. Dean wouldn’t be so lucky. “What is your problem?”
Dean stuttered, unable to form any words.
“That’s what I thought,” Gina told him. “You’re pushing me away. Why? And don’t even try to say it was because I started the fire in the bunker, because we both know that no matter who you blame, it wasn’t my fault.”
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s it, Dean? ‘I’m sorry’? That’s not good enough. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Gina, it’s not your fault. It’s mine.”
&
nbsp; Gina didn’t say a word, instead, she was content to let him figure out what he was going to say next. He looked up, sheepishly, meeting her eyes for just a few seconds. Then he looked back down.
And suddenly he deflated. “You’re right.”
Gina was taken aback. Of course she was right — that was the whole point of this — but hearing it from Dean was something she hadn’t expected. She sputtered out a hesitant, “What?”
“I’ve been pushing you away. I’ve been afraid of letting anyone get close to me. So I blamed you for what happened. Tried to justify it. Tried to avoid the blame and find a way to keep you away.”
“Dean, why? Why would you do that?”
He looked as if he wanted to tell her, but instead, he said, “I don’t want to talk about that. Not yet.”
She reached out a hand and took his. “Dean. Dean, look at me,” she said. When he did, she continued, “You don’t have to do this alone anymore.”
“I need some air,” he said, getting up. He grabbed his shirt and disappeared into the darkness. Petey watched him and hesitantly made his way back to Gina’s feet. Gina watched him, too, longing to chase him down like she would have if she were in a movie — but this was no movie. This was real life. This was dangerous.
She knew she was attracted to Dean. She couldn’t help it — he was smart, resourceful, and drop dead gorgeous, if a little rough around the edges. She had never met a man like him. He had saved her life, even at the cost of his own safety, twice. Most others wouldn’t have bothered at all.
She knew that Dean was attracted to her. The way he looked at her was undeniable. But she knew he was afraid of getting too close, and he’d pushed her away, using the fire as justification. She wanted him, and he wanted her.
But she couldn’t blame him for what he had done. Things were dangerous now. If they didn’t keep a clear head, they could run into problems. No, more than that: they could get themselves killed. So, as much as she longed to chase Dean down, make him realize that even with everything going on, they could be good for each other, she let him walk away.
She needed him to have a clear head. And more importantly, she needed to have a clear head, too. She put her clothes back on and curled up in the blanket, feeling more alone than she had felt since this whole apocalypse had started.
*
Dean walked off, farther than his sense told him he should have. But what he’d said was true: he needed space. His life was growing more and more complicated as the minutes passed by. He leaned up against a tree, and slid down it to a crouch.
What was he going to do?
The answer wouldn’t come to him, so he asked himself another question: What do I want to do?
That answer was clear. He wanted Gina. In a way, he had since he first pulled her out of her crumpled car, even with Petey shredding his hand. It was more than the fact she was the first woman — the first person — he’d seen for nearly two years. She was smart, resourceful, and determined to make it out of this situation alive.
He imagined that most others wouldn’t be the same. She’d had the foresight to gather supplies, more than she could ever use. That meant she cared for others. She’d used valuable supplies to care for him. It wasn’t just about her.
So, yeah, he admitted to himself. He was attracted to her. More than he should be, considering the situation. But he couldn’t help it.
And…she was attracted to him. It was a dangerous combination, no matter when, but especially now. She wanted him, and he wanted her. Was it possible that they could be together, with everything going on, and keep their wits about them? His grandfather would have said no.
And what if she knew who he really was? What if she found out why he’d been hiding in his bunker for nearly two years? He’d been raised as a survivalist, but he hadn’t always been one. The bunker was great for the apocalypse. But that wasn’t why he was really in there; not entirely.
What would happen if she found out the reason he’d been hiding for two years?
He didn’t think she would be falling for him anymore. He didn’t think she would be okay with traveling with him anymore, no matter how safe he kept her. She would think it would be safer to travel alone, and she would probably be right.
He wouldn’t blame her.
But he also couldn’t bear the thought of falling for her, making something with her — something real — and having it ripped away from him because she found out who he’d been before the apocalypse. Before she had come along and changed him.
Before that man, Jayce, had shown up at the bunker, Dean had vowed to himself that he would never kill again. Never shift if it meant harming someone else. He had broken that code, and he suspected that he would have to break it again before they were safe.
Gina hadn’t had a problem with that. He’d done it to protect her, Petey, and himself.
But if she ever found out he was wanted for murdering a senator’s son in cold blood nearly two years ago, she would run the other way. He didn’t think he would be able to convince her that he wasn’t a bad man.
Hell, he couldn’t even convince himself.
Dean made his way back towards their camp.
***
*
The chirping of birds and warm sunlight on her face woke Gina. She came to easily, basking in the experience. The bunker had been cold and distant - oppressive - and she hadn’t even realized it while inside. Being outside was a wondrous thing.
The next thing she noticed was that Dean wasn’t by her side any longer. She remembered him coming back to the blanket some time during the night. She hadn’t been sure how long he had been out in the woods, but it had seemed like a long time. Had he gone back out?
She sat up and looked around. With the bushes blocking her view, she couldn’t see much except for the stream below. But a quick glance up and down the stream showed her that neither Dean nor Petey were anywhere to be found. For a second, panic flooded her body before she heard Dean’s voice on the other side of the bush.
Getting up, Gina made her way around the bush. On the other side, she watched as Dean threw a stick far into the distance, Petey dashing off after it. She couldn’t help but smile. Petey grabbed the stick and brought it back as fast as his little doggy legs would carry him.
“Morning,” she said. Dean looked at her and gave her a light smile. “How are you feeling?”
“Better,” he answered.
“Can I look?”
Dean nodded and peeled off his shirt. As always, Gina found herself looking at his body for just a bit too long. She checked his shoulder, relieved to find that the infection was gone. His wound was healing perfectly.
“Looks like you were right,” she told him. At that, Dean actually chuckled.
“We’d better get going soon. I picked some more berries, they’re over by the blanket.”
Gina went back and scarfed the berries down. They weren’t especially filling, but it was better than nothing, and she knew the importance of rationing their remaining food. After she finished, she packed up the blankets and filled her water bottles up at the stream.
“Is it safe to drink?” she asked Dean before she took a drink. She expected that he could drink from any water source he desired, but she wasn’t so sure.
“Should be,” Dean answered.
“Meaning?”
“The stream is a mountain stream. It comes straight from the mountain itself. Unless there are some pollutants upstream, which is unlikely, then you should be fine.”
MUNDO (BBW Bear Shifter MC Romance) (MC Bear Mates Book 2) Page 65