by Cat Johnson
Of course, her parents had divorced about that time. With her mother moving out to Arizona with her, it probably felt silly for her to come back to Oklahoma for school breaks.
Still, there was the phone. He’d called a couple of times but when he’d seen it was one-sided—that he’d do all the calling and she’d do all the avoiding—he’d eventually stopped.
A man could only take so much rejection. Especially at that young age.
“I bet you had all those college boys wrapped around your little finger.” Maybe she’d disappeared so completely from his life because she’d met someone.
Bonnie shook her head. “No. Not really.”
That made no sense. She’d had a pretty good hold on him, all those years ago. And judging by how he couldn’t stay away from her the past few days, it appeared that now was no different. He’d do anything she asked him to, including clean out that mess of a house of hers. He’d spend day and night there just to make her happy, and with the hope of seeing more of her.
“How long were you and your wife married?” Bonnie’s question interrupted his thoughts.
“We were going on sixteen years when she died. Hard to believe it would have been our twenty-first anniversary later this year.”
“So you met and married her a few years after high school then?”
“Yup.”
If Bonnie was asking him how long it took him to get over her, that answer was a good long while.
Lila was by no means a rebound girl. He’d started dating her after the hurt had faded, but he also hadn’t had another serious relationship in the middle. He’d been too skittish for too long after what had felt like such a world-altering love and loss with Bonnie.
He had bought Bonnie a promise ring that summer. He’d been waiting for the perfect time to give it to her, but she’d left before he got a chance. He’d wondered for years if his giving it to her would have made a difference.
Would that microscopic chip of a diamond set in a gold circle have kept her here and saved him a world of hurt?
“So, what grade do you teach?” Time for small talk again. His beer-soaked heart wasn’t enjoying these particularly painful memories.
“Fifth grade.”
“Nice.” Not that he knew all that much about kids. He wished he did.
“Dinner was really good.”
“Was it?” He laughed.
“It was. I don’t think you do yourself justice. The burgers were perfect. And everything else was really good too.”
“Everything else I bought premade at the store, but thank you. I do have some skills in the grill department. And there’s even dessert.”
“Dessert?” She lifted a brow. “I’m impressed.”
“Don’t be. Tyler’s girlfriend made it.”
“Girls his age bake?” She looked surprised.
“No. His girlfriend is closer to our age.”
“Tyler’s dating an older woman? Why am I not surprised?” She laughed.
“Yup. I guess I shouldn’t call her a girlfriend then, should I? Lady friend? Woman friend?” He wrinkled his nose. “I’m not loving any of those.”
“Society hasn’t really come up with a good alternative for people our age, has it?”
“Not really. No. Wonder what that says?” Rohn thought the message was pretty clear. That single women in their thirties and forties should just give up and be old and lonely.
“I think it’s just that the world is changing but not everything has kept up. It’s sad, really. There are a ton of people dating later in life. With divorces, and widowers, people are dating at all ages.”
He nodded. “Yet we only have the terms girlfriend and boyfriend to work with.”
“Or significant other.” An adorable wrinkle creased the bridge of her nose.
“You have a significant other, Bonnie Blue?”
She raised her gaze to his before answering. “No. You?”
That she was interested enough to ask lightened his heart considerably. He answered happily, “Nope.”
She nodded, and a silence fell over them. All this serious personal talk had put a damper on the lighter conversation.
Uncomfortable with the silence, he said, “Anyway. Ready for dessert?”
“Can I have a tour first?”
“A tour? Sure. What would you like to see?”
“Your animals. I don’t know. The whole place.” She lifted a shoulder.
“Okay.” He glanced at her feet and the open sandals she wore. “You good to walk in those? Wouldn’t want you stepping in something unpleasant and ruining your shoes.”
She laughed. “I’ll take my chances.”
He stood. She did the same. As he turned toward the field the bulls were in, he glanced sideways at Bonnie. “I remember a day when you wore exactly two kinds of footwear. Cowboy boots or flip-flops.”
“Not true. I had real shoes for the prom, dyed to match my dress.”
“Yes, you did. And you were the most beautiful girl there.”
She rolled her eyes. “Thank you, but I think that official honor belonged to the prom queen. Marie whatever her name was.”
“Jorgensen.”
She cocked one brow and glanced at him. “So, you remember her name, do you? Did you have a little crush on her maybe?”
“No. The moment you and I talked that night, I only had eyes for you, Bonnie Blue.” He watched the blush creep across her cheek. “I remember her name because her son works loading the trucks at the feed store in town. She’s not exactly prom queen material anymore, but bless her, she’s got four good, strong, healthy kids in exchange.”
Bonnie’s eyes widened. “Four. Wow.”
“Yeah. All boys. She wanted to try for more—looking to get a girl. Her husband told me he put a stop to it. Told her he wasn’t going to have a basketball team trying to get a cheerleader.” At that, Bonnie laughed. The sound made him smile. “I always thought you’d have a bunch of kids, Bonnie.”
“Me? Nope. Nice-looking bulls.” She walked a little faster as they approached the fence. If he wasn’t mistaken, she was avoiding the subject of children. If she wanted the subject dropped, he’d let it go.
“You know bulls, do you?” he asked.
“No. But they’re still nice-looking.” She cut him a sideways glance.
“Let me give you the rundown on who’s who. This guy right here, giving us the stink eye, has made me a ton of money. He’s a real good bucker. Tosses the riders in the dirt nine times out of ten. I just started selling his sperm. I get a good amount of money for each straw.”
Her brows rose. “I had no idea. So you’re like a pimp. And he’s the gigolo.”
“Kind of. Except he doesn’t get to have any of the fun with the lady bulls. Never even gets to see them. I ship the stuff to whoever orders it.”
“So how do you get, the um, you know . . . stuff?”
Rohn laughed. “Let’s just say, I’m thankful to have Tyler, Justin, and Colton around to do the dirty work when the time comes. You probably don’t want to know the details.”
She considered that a moment and then shook her head. “Yeah, you’re right. I think I’d rather not know.”
This conversation had taken them into whole new territory. But it wasn’t the talk of bull semen getting to him. It was the fact the attraction between him and her was still as strong today as it had been twenty-five years ago. Back when he’d been a hired hand and she’d been the farmer’s daughter.
That summer had been a hot one, and their love ran even hotter. Those were some powerful memories.
“Bonnie.”
“Yeah?”
“Tonight was just two friends having dinner, but I’d like it if we could go out on a real date.”
“Rohn, I’m only here for a little while and then I’m leaving again.”
He took a step forward. “Bonnie, you can make excuses all day long, but it’s not going to change the fact that there’s something here between us. Whether we ch
oose to ignore it or enjoy it is up to you. I know what I wanna do. Even if it’s just for the time you’re here.”
“I don’t know.”
“Let me help you decide.” He reached out and rested his hands on her waist. It felt as familiar as it did strange to be touching her again.
When she didn’t retreat, he leaned lower. She raised her gaze to his and he saw a need to match his own in her eyes. There was no stopping him then. He closed the final distance between them and kissed her.
Fireworks on the Fourth of July had never seemed as bright as the sparks rocketing through Rohn at the feel of Bonnie’s lips beneath his. It felt like he was eighteen again and damn, he never wanted the feeling to end.
She kissed him like she was as desperate for him as he was for her, then she pulled back. Fast, and far enough his hands fell to his side.
“I can’t.” She shook her head.
He nodded. “I understand. We can take things slow.”
“No. That’s not it. I mean I can’t ever. I’m sorry. Thank you for dinner. I gotta go.” She turned and ran.
“Bonnie.” He took a single step after her before he stopped himself. She was literally fleeing from his kiss. It wasn’t in him to stop her.
Rohn watched Bonnie drive away until the taillights of her car disappeared. Only then did he turn back to the house and head for the kitchen. There he saw the remnants of the dinner preparations. The dinner that had ended pretty disastrously, in his opinion.
Forget about the mess in the kitchen. It would still be there later. Instead, he turned toward the office.
Sitting in the desk chair, he booted up the old desktop computer. He drew in a breath of frustration as it took too long to come to life, and then a couple minutes more before something happened on screen and his browser window finally came up.
Tomorrow, he was looking at new computers. If he was destined to be on the damn thing more often, like it or not, he might as well make it less painful. And it was becoming quite obvious he would be online a lot more. After Bonnie’s rejection tonight, he was hurt enough to go back to his damn online matchmaking account.
If her telling him she couldn’t be with him, ever, and then running away wasn’t rejection, he didn’t know what was. He was mad and he was hurt, but he’d get over it. He had before after the last time she’d run out on him. He would again.
That didn’t mean he had to sit idly by waiting for time to heal all wounds. If Bonnie didn’t want him, he knew where there were women who did. Rohn might loathe this online stuff, but tonight he was motivated.
Hating with every fiber of his being that this was what his life had become, he clicked to the in-box area of his profile and saw new messages had arrived. Proof there were women in the world who found him attractive.
That was nice to have reaffirmed after tonight.
Systematically, Rohn went through the half a dozen or so messages. He even found one from a woman he wouldn’t mind meeting. He hesitated for a solid minute, staring at the screen, deciding if he really wanted to go down this path.
He was still deciding when headlights from a vehicle pulling into his driveway had Rohn’s mind racing as fast as his pulse.
Had Bonnie changed her mind and come back? He strode out of the office, and all the way to the back door.
One glance told him it wasn’t Bonnie’s car. It wasn’t a car at all. It was a pickup truck pulling up to the barn.
What the hell was one of the boys doing here this late at night? Frowning, Rohn strode over to find out.
By the time he arrived, the driver’s-side door was opening and Justin was stepping out. “Hey, boss.”
“Hey. What’re you doing here?” Rohn couldn’t help but think that had Justin arrived an hour earlier, he would have walked in on the tail end of the dinner with Bonnie.
He might have been witness to that hot and heavy kiss out by the bull pasture. Or perhaps to Bonnie’s tearful, speedy departure. He wouldn’t have been happy about Justin seeing any of it. Rohn couldn’t guarantee he would have noticed a steam train barreling down upon him in the heat of the moment, much less Justin’s pickup truck in the drive.
Justin tipped his head toward one of the vehicles parked off to the side. “I forgot my wallet. Left it stuck in the dashboard of the truck today while we were working. I need my ID and cash.”
ID and cash—every young cowboy’s requirement for a wild night out. “Going out, are you?”
“Yup. Colton talked me into it. He made me feel guilty because I haven’t gone out with him in so long, and Tyler won’t come out anymore, for obvious reasons.” Justin grinned.
Rohn imagined that smile of Justin’s won the single guy lots of ladies, at least for one night. “Well, y’all have fun.”
Justin nodded. “We will sure try. No doubt. Have a good night, boss.”
“Thanks.” Doing dishes and then trying to find something on the television until he could fall asleep? Yeah, real fun.
As Justin strode toward the ranch truck to retrieve his wallet, Rohn turned back toward the house. But he didn’t go to the kitchen. Instead he went directly to the computer, intent on getting himself a life.
Doubt or not, he had to make a move. He’d waited too long already to move on with his life. In his profile in-box, he opened the message from a stranger named Margaret. She was nearby. Just in the next town. She was divorced, but that was probably to be expected in a woman who was forty. And she liked horses. Or at least she said she did.
Margaret. It was a nice, wholesome name. He could handle a Margaret. Better than a Tiffany or a Brittany or a . . . whatever the hell name was popular nowadays.
He hit reply to her message and stared at the blinking cursor for a few minutes. Then he just started to type. He couldn’t figure out what he wanted to say, so he said that.
I’m not sure what to say. I’ve never done anything like this before.
That sounded like a line to him. It would be his luck that though he was telling the truth, it sounded like a lie and was probably a line used by hundreds of guys on here disingenuously. He needed to explain.
The reason I’ve never done this before is because I was married for many, many years. My beloved wife died five years ago and my employees and friends have decided it’s time for me to start dating again. Though that’s not the only reason I’m on here. I know it’s time myself.
Crap. Was this any good? Did he suck at writing? How would he know? He didn’t write anything more than invoices or lists for the store nowadays.
Forging ahead, he decided to wrap it up.
If you’d like to meet I’d like that too. Thanks. Rohn.
Well, he was no Hemingway, but at least it was the God’s honest truth.
After reading over his message to her, he hit send before he thought better of it. That was it then. For better or worse, the message was on its way.
Rohn stood and headed for the kitchen. He had to clean up. Wash the dishes, put away the leftovers. Maybe dig into that dessert Janie had made that they’d never gotten to tonight.
The memory of why had him feeling less inclined to eat. He flipped on the faucet instead and waited for the water to warm as his mind reeled.
After he was done cleaning, he’d go back to the computer, which he’d left turned on, and see if Margaret had responded yet.
If she didn’t reply tonight or by tomorrow? Then what?
Then he’d open every damn one of those messages he’d received and reply to them. And if those didn’t yield him a date, he’d start searching the site on his own.
He’d have to, because it was more than obvious Bonnie was not going to be a part of his future.
Hell, he wasn’t even sure they still had a date for the reunion, not that she’d ever given him a solid yes for that, anyway. It had been more like a maybe, if she was still in town.
Maybe she’d been giving him hints she wasn’t interested all along and he’d just ignored them. Who the hell knew? He’d been out of thi
s game for too long.
He’d never wanted to be alone at this point in his life, but since it had been thrust upon him, he’d have to work with the hand he’d been dealt.
A little while later, when the kitchen was clean and there were no more excuses to procrastinate, Rohn made his way back to the office.
There was a new message in his in-box. It was from Margaret.
Hi, Rohn!! I would LOVE to meet you! When??!!? Where??!! I’m off from work tomorrow so I have all day!! Just let me know. Bye!!
He lifted a brow at the sheer amount of punctuation in Margaret’s message. Maybe this was how things were done nowadays. After all, it was hard to convey emotion over e-mail and text messages. The kids must manage to do it with all these exclamation points.
Margaret was no kid, but she’d adapted to this strange new electronic world they were living in. Rohn would have to do the same.
Clearing his throat, he set fingers to keyboard. Brows drawn low, he contemplated what in the world to say for a moment before he typed:
How about meeting for a cup of coffee and maybe breakfast tomorrow at the diner on the highway at ten?
After a second thought, he added an exclamation point to the end of his single sentence. He stared at the black words on the white screen for a few seconds before he shook his head and deleted the ridiculous-looking and unnecessary exclamation point. He hit send, quickly before he could agonize over this message any further.
Baby steps.
Refusing to sit there and wait for a reply, he stood, but he hadn’t even taken one step toward the door when the message alert popped up.
Margaret was one eager lady. He hoped that was because she was so excited to meet him and not a sign of the level of desperation of single, middle-aged women today.
Middle-aged. God help him, he was middle-aged. When the hell had that happened?
Drawing in a breath, he moved back in front of the screen to read her message.