by Tharp, Emma
He shifts in his chair and his eyes are twice their normal size. "You know that's not possible now. Way too much has gone into the planning of this tour. There are many people's careers on the line here, including yours."
My stomach turns though I've only taken two bites of my blueberry muffin. I slide the plate away and then push away from the table, standing. "I have to go. I've got another meeting to get to.” I don’t tell him that I’m finally seeing a counselor. I stride out of the restaurant, not looking back to see the disapproving look I know is on Kenny’s face.
At home, Wes and I get dressed in our best clothes for Cora and Derek’s big day. He wears a black suit with a maroon shirt and tie. His pocket square matches the navy dress I have on. I refuse to let my meeting with Kenny ruin my night, especially after such a good meeting today with my new counselor. She’s going to help me, I can feel it already. I haven’t told Wes that I had an appointment to see someone yet, but I will.
Cora and Derek look radiant as they come over to our table at their reception. Cora is in a designer A-line lace gown that fits her beautifully, and Derek is in a black custom tux. An absolutely striking couple.
"Lydia, I'm so happy to see that you and Wes are back together!" Cora throws her thin arms around me and I stand to hug her.
"The ceremony was beautiful. I am so happy for you and Derek,” I tell her as we stare at each other.
The day has been lovely. It was an outdoor wedding presided over by a justice of the peace, with 200 guests in attendance. It’s warm, but not too hot, and there are a few white puffy clouds in the sky. Cora’s taste in flowers and décor is impeccable. The bouquets and centerpieces have peonies, dahlias, and white roses. There are chandeliers hanging from overhead trellises and white billowy fabric creates a faux canopy effect. These are details I’d choose if I had another wedding one day.
The meal just ended and I’m stuffed. The salmon was to die for and the white wine they paired it with has me feeling really good. “Dance with me,” I say to Wes.
Wes’s green eyes glow in the soft glow of the chandeliers. “I’ll dance with you.” He stands, loosens his tie, and unbuttons the top button of his shirt. “Let’s go.” He extends his hand out and I take it.
We make our way out to the side of the dance floor. It’s full with other guests. I put my arms around Wes’s neck and he holds me close with his hands around my waist. Quite a few of the people out here are teammates that I’ve been introduced to, and others that I haven’t, but I assume are on the team due to their height and stature. “Are they your teammates?” I point in their direction.
Wes peers over his shoulder. “Yeah. I haven’t introduced you to everyone yet. But I will tonight.”
I can’t help but watch the beautiful couples. They’re everywhere. And they’re all young. None of the women look to be over twenty-five. They’ve all got that dewy glow that comes with youth and that women like me in their forties all strive to achieve with creams and makeup. I definitely took it for granted when I was young.
In fact, Derek’s parents look quite youthful. They’re dancing close to Derek and Cora now. I’ve got the perfect view of them. He’s got a full head of salt and pepper hair and hers is dark and cut in a sleek bob. Neither is over fifty.
My body tingles when Wes starts singing softly in my ear. It’s Eric Clapton. “You look wonderful tonight.”
And this is why I’m not intimidated by younger, beautiful women. Wes makes me feel like the most gorgeous woman in any room. I pull him closer and bring my lips to his. Grazing my tongue against his, it’s appreciation and a promise for more later.
Wes’s hands inch down my back—which is mainly exposed due to the style of my dress—until they rest on my ass. He squeezes firmly, pressing his erection against my belly. An ache builds between my legs.
“I want you so bad right now,” Wes hisses out.
“You have no idea,” I tell him.
Wes looks around the room. “Do you want to find somewhere to go?”
“You mean, here?” I want to be spontaneous, but I can’t imagine there’s anywhere to go that would be safe.
He takes my hand and pulls me out of the main ballroom and down a hall toward the bathrooms. “Where are you taking me?” I ask, a little breathless.
“I’m looking for somewhere more private.” He twists on a doorknob, but it’s locked.
We race down the corridor, both twisting on handles trying to find a place to be alone. Finally, at the end of the hallway, there’s a door marked maintenance. He leads me inside, closes the door behind us, and locks it. I can’t see a thing and there’s a strong scent of industrial cleaner. None of that matters when Wes presses me against the door and crashes his mouth on mine.
Desire, hot and powerful shoots through me. His hands are everywhere, cupping my breasts, squeezing my ass. Our kiss deepens and my need grows.
Wes hikes my leg up and slips his fingers under the thin strip of my thong. “You’re so wet,” he growls before circling my clit in a maddening rhythm.
“I need you,” I cry out.
He drops my leg, pulls a condom out of his back pocket, and rips it open with his teeth. I unzip his pants and pull them down to his thighs. He sheathes himself and jacks my legs back up.
Mouth on mine, he slams into me hard and deep. “Fuck, Lyd,” Wes pants.
My breathing speeds up and I clasp my hands around his neck. “Yes.”
For a moment, the idea that we’re in a public place and could get caught heightens my awareness of every sensation, every gasp, every touch, and the thrill of it has my body quickening—speeding toward release. “I’m close,” I say, my voice restrained, even though I want to yell.
“Let go, baby. I’ve got you."
Clutching Wes’s shoulders, I tilt my head back and convulse as an orgasm wracks my body. He buries his head in the crook of my neck as he shutters and joins me. We’re both breathing, short, hard breaths when he releases my leg.
“That was so hot,” he says, nuzzling his nose under my ear and kissing the delicate skin there.
“It was,” I agree. “Do you think anyone heard us?”
“No. I don’t think so. Would you care if they did?” I can’t see the look on his face, but I can hear the smile in his voice.
I can’t pretend that having sex in a public place didn’t heighten the experience, but now that we have to walk out, I’m hoping there isn’t anyone out there to witness us leaving the maintenance room. “Yes. I would be slightly embarrassed.”
“You don’t regret it, do you?” he asks.
“Not after that orgasm.”
He chuckles. “Good. If anyone heard, they’d be jealous anyway.” He kisses my cheek.
Straightening my dress down, I wipe under my eyes and attempt to make myself presentable. I can hear him zipping his pants. “Think we should go back out there? People might wonder where we went.”
“Sure. Let’s go.” He unlocks the door and opens it slowly.
Light streams into the room and I blink rapidly, letting my eyes adjust. We peer out into the hall. There doesn’t seem to be anyone, so we walk out together hand in hand and make our way toward the ballroom.
“How do I look?” I ask Wes.
He scans me from head to toe and moves a stray wisp of my hair. “You look perfect with maybe a little extra blush on.”
“A girl can always use some color on her cheeks.” I laugh as we continue down the hall.
Coming around the corner is Derek’s parents. They stop when they see us.
“Hi,” Wes says and hugs Derek’s mom and shakes his dad’s hand. “Joyce and Eric Parker, this is my girlfriend, Lydia.”
“Good to meet you both,” I say and proceed to shake their hands. They look even better up close. Joyce’s skin is flawless and Eric has a striking smile that reminds me so much of his son’s.
Joyce’s face lights up in a grin from ear to ear. “Lydia, it’s an honor to meet you. You are one of my favorit
e singers and I give you so much credit for the songs you write. You’re a true artist.”
My cheeks get warm. I can only imagine what shade of red they are now. “Thank you so much, Joyce.”
“And you seem to be putting a smile on Wes’s face.” Eric pats Wes on the back. “We’re happy to see that.”
I glance at Wes and he’s staring at me, green eyes shining. He puts his arm around my back. “I’m really lucky.” Wes kisses my cheek.
“Me, too,” I say to Wes as much as to Derek’s parents.
Eric nods. “Just be good to each other. And have an open line of communication and the two of you can make it through anything.”
He’s right. That’s what I want. Thinking about a future with Wes is everything I could hope for.
“That’s the plan,” Wes says.
“Well, we hope you enjoy the rest of your evening.” Joyce takes my hand again and puts it between both of hers, they’re warm and comforting. “All the best to both of you.”
“Thank you,” I tell her. She’s got a reassuring presence, I’m completely drawn to her. For a moment I wonder if Wes’s parents would be as supportive as Joyce and Eric. From what he tells me about them, I think they would be.
“They’re so sweet,” I say. Wes and I walk back into the ballroom. Music is being pumped into the speakers and the party seems to have picked up since we left.
“Aren’t they? I can’t wait for you to meet my mom and dad. They’re going to love you,” he tells me as if he’s reading my mind. “Let’s make it happen this summer. We’ve still got time.”
“I’d like that,” I say as we pull our chairs out and sit down.
Cora and Derek make the rounds at our table and move on to the next. At this point, I can't seem to take my eyes off Alex. Cole has his arm around her and his hand is on her stomach. Something is up.
"Are you guys…?" I murmur in their direction. It comes out before I even realize I’ve said it.
Alex gets the biggest smile on her face and so does Cole. They both nod at the same time.
“We just found out. I’m six weeks. We’re over the moon,” Alex says, rubbing her stomach.
“Congratulations,” I tell them.
Wes shakes Cole's hand and gives him a hearty hug. It hurts my insides a little to see all of this. His friends, mostly his age, are getting married and pregnant. Shouldn't that be what he's doing? But I am at a different phase in my life. I smile at the happy newly pregnant couple, but I go quiet.
Wes grabs my hand and gives me a reassuring grin. "It's fine."
He knows me so well, of course he knows what's bothering me. I’m ashamed of myself for having these thoughts on such a joyous day. I do have so much to work on.
Eleven
Wes
I see Bruno, Lydia's bodyguard, standing in the corner of the restaurant before I see her. I've been looking forward to this evening and the time alone together to really talk to her. I know her well enough and can read her body language and expression as if it is second nature to me. She's been off since the wedding yesterday.
When she notices me, she stands and comes up to me throwing her arms around my neck and places a kiss on my lips. I squeeze her tight and breathe in her fresh rose scent.
Taking a seat across from her I say, "You look absolutely gorgeous." And I mean it. She could wear a paper bag and I would still find her sexy.
"You look very handsome tonight, too." She gives me a sweet smile, one that doesn't quite reach her eyes. "How was your workout with your trainer?” she asks.
"It felt great. I like when he pushes me. It makes me feel like I've still got it even though I'm not in the gym or on the ice every day. How was your meeting with Kenny yesterday? I didn't get a chance to ask you at the wedding." When we are home in Nashville, we’re both so busy. I don't want her to think that I'm not paying attention, because I am.
She looks down at her menu and then back up at me. "It wasn’t our best meeting. It ended with me telling him that I want to take the year off." Her eyes meet mine, assessing me for a reaction. "He told me it wasn't possible. I stormed out."
My jaw hangs open like there's lead in it. She's been complaining about being burnt out, but I had no idea that she would actually tell her manager that she wanted to take a full year off. "Okay, so what now?"
"I don't know.” She shrugs. “I'm not sure if I was really serious or if I just wanted to see his reaction. It went exactly as you'd expect. He was furious."
The waitress comes toward our table and we order a bottle of red wine and our meals. She has scallops and seasoned vegetables and I go for a steak and roasted red skin potatoes.
Placing my hand on top of hers, I hold it and drag my thumb across her knuckles. "You know that you can do anything you want to do. This is your life. You need to do what you need to do for yourself. Regardless of what Kenny tells you."
"I was being irrational…I'm sure when September rolls around, I'll be fine." Lines crease her forehead.
"Is anything else bothering you? You seemed off at the reception last night after Alex told us she’s pregnant,” I say.
The waitress comes back bringing two wine glasses and the bottle we ordered. She uncorks it and fills each glass. Lydia takes hers and has several sips before placing it back in front of her.
"I guess this is as good a time as any. Our relationship has been moving fast. And you make me so happy.” Lydia twists a piece of her hair. “And I know we've talked about this before, but I really have to know. Are you going to want kids? Because I saw the look on your face last night when Cole and Alex announced that she’s pregnant. You looked over the moon excited. I can only imagine how you would be if you just found out that you were going to be a father." Her eyes are full of distress and sadness.
My stomach sinks. "I am happy for Cole and Alex, but that doesn't mean that I need children of my own." Since Lydia and I started dating, I guess I had it in my mind that she and I would settle down. The feelings I had for her grew strong and fast, and a family seemed like it might be a natural part of that equation. With time, and as our love grew, I assumed she might reconsider having a child. But if it’s off the table for Lydia, I think I can be okay with it.
"I know, but when you were growing up, didn't you think about being a dad?" She presses her lips together in a tight line.
"Sure, I did think about it, but I don't think I need kids to make my life complete. What about you? I know you said you don’t want kids now, but was it always that way?" She was married before and in love with her husband. I can't imagine they didn't want children. She's got such a big heart and I can absolutely see her with a slew of kids.
"I thought that's what I wanted, but it never happened, and now I can’t imagine it for my life anymore. My career keeps me so busy. I’d never have time. And I’m older now." She wraps an arm around her stomach.
"Not even one?” I smile, attempting to lighten the mood because I’m not getting a good read on her. Maybe she hasn’t given it enough thought and now that we’re back together and we both want to make it work, it could be a consideration. I think I’d like to have just one kid to spoil rotten.
She clams up and her shoulders tense and roll forward. "No, I don't think so."
Damn. That was definitely not the right question to ask. Kids are a no-go for her. Am I okay with that? I think I could be, especially if it means I get to be with Lydia. I want her more than anything.
"Lydia? Is that you?" A tall man with dark brown hair and slight wrinkling around his eyes comes to our table. I don't recognize him.
Lydia looks up at the man and her hand flies to her chest. "Greg? It's been years." She stands and hugs the man.
Greg pulls back and his eyes scan her with affection and he brings her back in to continue the hug.
My heart rate kicks up. I really don't like the way he's looking at her. It felt more intimate than friendly.
When they finally stop hugging, I clear my throat.
L
ydia turns to face me and says, "Greg, this is Wes Jacobson, my boyfriend."
Greg gives me a once-over, sticks his hand out, and I shake it. He’s one of those guys. The kind who’s trying to prove something. His grip is aggressive. "Nice to meet you, Wes. Lydia and I go way back."
"Good to meet you," I say, my tone clipped.
Tension prickles in the space between us. I wonder if it's just me who feels it.
"Are you back in Nashville?” Lydia asks as she sits back down in her chair. The tension that was in her posture a moment ago seems to have vanished and is replaced with an easy smile. I wish it was me who loosened her up and not Greg.
"Yes, we just finished with an acquisition in New York and I'm finally able to come back home. Let me know if you're ever free to get together and catch up over coffee." He touches her arm and I'd like to rip his hand off.
"Yes, I'll stay in touch. Wes and I are doing some traveling now before my tour starts. You take care. Great to see you," Lydia says with a little too much vigor in her tone.
Greg lingers for a moment longer and we sit in uncomfortable silence until he finally walks away.
"How do you know him?” I ask, my voice full of accusation.
“We’ve known each other since high school." She gives me a dismissive wave of her hand.
My nostrils flare and I know I'm being unreasonable but something isn't sitting right. "Did you sleep with him?”
Her eyes widen, steel-gray pools of shock. "We used to date. But it was in high school. I haven't seen him in years, not since I was married." She grabs her wine glass and brings it to her lips. Her hand shakes slightly.
I take a cleansing breath; in through the nose, out through the mouth. "He was awfully handsy with you. I don't know if you noticed that.”
"Wes, that was nothing. I assure you. Are you jealous?" The pitch of her voice rises.
When I asked her for honesty, I knew I’d need to give it back in return. "Yes, I was. There was a familiarity between the two of you and it made me uncomfortable."
The waitress sets our meals in front of us. It looks delicious but my appetite is completely gone.