by King,Imani
We got into the elevator, and I let Scarlet press the button to the top floor. She practically bounced on the balls of her feet she was so excited to see Shane again. She had loved the tour of the field and had talked about it all the way home. She just couldn’t get enough of her new daddy. I just hoped that the bubble wasn’t going to burst, and it would all come crashing down for her. I didn’t think Shane would do that, but I couldn’t know for sure.
This was the thing that I was concerned about the most. I hoped that he wouldn’t take advantage of my daughter’s feelings, and then one day grow tired of being a parent. It was something that I often wondered often when I contemplated telling him about Scarlet after reading the latest celebrity gossip about whichever new supermodel he was dating or the party that he had been seen at until 3 AM. He hadn’t acted like that with me, but his recent history seemed to speak for itself. I had to give him the benefit of the doubt, for Scarlet’s sake.
I found that I was just as anxious tonight as Scarlet was. This was my first step in trying to repair our relationship. If nothing else, I would find a way to be friends for Scarlet because it was the right thing to do, but there was a part of me that ached for Shane.
We arrived at his door, and it opened just as I was getting ready to knock. I had to admit that he looked entirely delectable. He wore a fitted gray sweater and a pair of jeans that clung to his trim hips. It made me remember that I had barely taken the time to brush my hair and straighten my clothes before we had to run out the door. I smelled something delicious as I lifted my nose into the air. I held up the bags of Chinese take-out. “I brought dinner.”
He gave Scarlet a broad smile. “And I baked dessert. Do you like apple pie?”
“Yes!” she exclaimed.
“Come on in,” he said to us. He was infinitely more reserved with me then he was with Scarlet. I followed behind them as he gave her a grand tour of the condo that ended with him opening the door to a room I hadn’t seen before. There was only a single bed and a dresser in it, but he told her that this was going to be her room, and she could decorate it however she wanted.
Scarlet squealed and ran over to jump on the bed. That was something I wouldn’t have let her do at home, but I didn’t correct her. This gesture made me put away some of my fears. He wouldn’t give her a room at his condo if he wasn’t planning on spending some quality time with her.
It struck me then that my relationship with him wasn’t important—it was all about Scarlet. That’s the one thing I could focus on now.
I went into the kitchen and started to unpack the different boxes inside the bags. I wanted to let Shane and Scarlet talk all about how she was going to design her new room without interfering.
“Where is Mommy going to sleep?” I heard Scarlet asked as they came back into the room.
My hands stilled as I took out the plates, and I looked at Shane out of the corner of my eye cautiously wondering what he was going to say. He gave me a long look. I could see that there was still anger there, but there was something else as well.
“Mommy can sleep wherever she wants to sleep. But I think she may want to sleep at her apartment,” he finally said.
I smiled brightly at Scarlet. “It’ll be a sleepover like when you sleep at your friends’ houses. We will make sure that you have a bag with everything that you need in it for those times when you do stay over here.”
“Can I stay over tonight?” she asked innocently.
There was a long look that passed between me and Shane again. I could tell that he wasn’t planning to be the one to talk first. This was what he wanted after all. More time with Scarlet.
“Your daddy has a big game tomorrow, and he has to get up early,” I said slowly.
“Not that early,” he said. Scarlet looked at me again in confusion. It was all coming down to me. I could tell that I was going to hate being ganged up on by these two; the conspiring against me had started far sooner than I expected.
“How about you go ahead and look out that telescope in the corner at the city skyline? Your daddy and I will talk about it okay?” I said.
She nodded happily and made her way across the room.
“I’m not comfortable with her staying here by herself,” I said quietly as I started to spoon the food out onto the plates.
“If she wants to stay, then I’m fine with letting her stay,” Shane said.
“Well, if she’s staying, I’m staying too,” I said with a note of finality in my voice. There. He was going to have to start accepting that for the time being Scarlet and I were a package deal. He may not want to be around me, but he was going to have to deal with it.
“Fine,” he said.
I looked up at him in surprise. “Fine?”
He indicated around the room. “This place is big enough for the three of us. That’s fine.”
Over dinner, I told Scarlet that we could stay. She was thrilled. Shane had thoughtfully picked out a few movies that we could watch after dinner. We settled in front of the TV with the amazing apple pie that he had made from scratch. I had to admit that a man who could bake was something that was very sexy.
He let Scarlet pick the movie, and then he put it on. Scarlet was between us on the couch, but I was still acutely aware of Shane just being a few feet away. The feeling of being there together with our daughter between us was surreal. It felt for a few hours in the darkness like we were a real family.
When the movie was over, Shane surprised us once again. He went to the hall closet and pulled out a small suitcase. He showed it to Scarlet as he opened it up for her. Inside there was a pair of pajamas and a couple of outfits that appeared to be just her size. There was even a toothbrush inside. “I had my assistant pick up a few things in case you might want to stay,” he told her with a grin.
Scarlet grabbed the suitcase out of his hand and gave him a hug. Then she beelined for the bathroom to try on her new pajamas. He leaned against the doorway of the hallway and stared at me. He must have seen the expression of surprise still on my face because he gave a shrug. “I was Boy Scout after all. Always be prepared and all that.”
The way he stood there all casual and as if he didn’t have a care in the world made me want to just grab him and kiss him. But of course, I couldn’t do that. I was so aware of him. Did he feel the same way about me? It had seemed when we had first encountered each other, he couldn’t keep his hands off of me. Now, though, everything had changed
When she was ready and emerged from the bathroom, she gave a little twirl as we clapped for her. Scarlet asked if Shane would like to read her a bedtime story. We had been making our way through the Harry Potter series, and I luckily had my e-reader in my purse.
“It’s a scary part. Harry’s getting ready to fight the bad guy, and he’s not sure he can win,” Scarlet said as she tried to bring Shane up to speed.
“Somehow, I have a feeling that Harry will be fine,” Shane said. He took Scarlet’s hand. “But we should probably confirm just to be sure.”
Scarlet nodded solemnly and let him lead her towards her new room. I followed behind them and watched just long enough to see Scarlet get settled into her new bed and lean against Shane. He had a look on his face as he scanned the first page, and I could tell that despite his bluster, he was a little bit intimidated by the situation. This wasn’t something he did every day. I had to chuckle to myself. A man who had the weight of millions of eyes on him every week was nervous about reading a story to a little girl.
After listening to him get started, I decided to give them their privacy. I retreated back to the living room and flipped through the channels on the TV until I came to the evening news. That was where Shane found me half an hour later. I looked up at him expectantly. “How was it?”
“There’s a whole lot of words in there that I don’t recognize from the dictionary,” Shane said as he rubbed his face. “I think Scarlet was laughing at me as much as she was anxious about the story.”
I nodded in understan
ding. “The author does a good job of keeping us on our toes.”
“That seems like pretty advanced stuff for a kid her age,” he said as he sat down next to me. “She was the one that was correcting me half the time.”
“She loves Harry Potter right now. Her entire room is decked out in Harry Potter gear.”
“I suppose I should buy her some of that stuff then,” he said.
There was a long span of silence between us. It was just another realization for me that if we didn’t work things out between us, there was the inevitability that I would be spending time away from Scarlet on a regular basis. That idea cut me sharply. But I knew it was just a small fraction of what Shane must feel having missed out on eight years of her life. And that was all my fault. I had made my bed, and now I had to lay in it.
“I suppose you can sleep in my bed. I’ll stay out here on the couch,” Shane said.
I protested, “I won’t take your bed.”
“You’re not sleeping on the couch,” he said.
We looked at each other, and then he gave a long sigh. “I suppose you can sleep in my bed with me. But none of the funny business.”
I liked the idea of being close to him. But then I thought about the fact that Scarlet could wake up and come looking for me. What would she think if she found me in Shane’s bed? I didn’t want her to get her hopes up there was going to be something more between us if Shane couldn’t find his way past forgiving me. I didn’t want to do that to her.
“No, it’s okay. If you want to sleep out here, I appreciate you letting me stay at all.”
“It’s not as if I had much choice in the matter it seems,” Shane said. “I suppose I should tell you that I’ve already spoken to a lawyer to get some legal advice regarding the visitation schedule.”
It was as if he had dumped a bucket of cold water over the top of my head. “A lawyer? Why do you need a lawyer?”
“You and I are not married, and we’re not together. I have a daughter that I want to make sure I have proper rights to see and who is taken care of,” he said.
“I’ve already told you that I will let you see Scarlet whenever you want to,” I said.
“It’s for my protection, Madeleine.”
Protection? This didn’t sound like Shane at all. “I thought that if I gave you time, you and I might be able to start over. Like what we had started to talk about before your dad’s funeral.”
He looked away from me then. I didn’t know how to address this. It was as if he putting the nail in the coffin in the idea of us ever having a future together before we even had time to figure out what we could have.
I knew that I needed to roll the dice. I needed to be the one that made the grand gesture considering I had been the one to make the grand screw-up. “Shane, I love you.”
The look that he gave me was an expression of raw hurt and anguish. It made me pull back from him. “This is not the time to talk about these kinds of things, Madeleine. Do you want me to deny that I have feelings for you? Of course, I do, but I just don’t know if I can trust you. This was the biggest betrayal I could ever imagine. I never expected you could do this to me.”
“I know that, and I know that you need time. But I had hoped for a more positive outcome for us. I hoped that if you have time to get to know Scarlet, and we spent time together as a family, you might be able to forgive me. If you forgive me, then we can start over.”
“I need more time,” he said. He looked away and then back at me. He leaned over, and for a brief moment, I felt butterflies in my stomach. But he simply kissed me on the forehead. “That is for being a fantastic mother. But, I can’t forgive you. Not yet.”
The words hung in the air between us. There was nothing else that I could do. I had put all of my cards out on the table, and he was still as closed off to me as ever.
With whatever shred of dignity I had left intact, I stood. Then I picked up my purse. “I’m going back to my apartment, but I’ll be back before Scarlet wakes up. I can tell where I’m not wanted. If you want, I can have my mother bring her to the game.”
“They can watch the game from the team’s suite,” Shane said. The fact that he didn’t argue with me leaving caused a wrenching anguish in my gut, but I hope that I kept any sign of that off my face.
I made my way to Scarlet’s room. She was fast asleep under the covers and barely moved as I tucked them up under her chin. I pressed my hand against her cheek and whispered to her that I loved her. I knew that Shane would take good care of her. He was settling into his new role quickly, and he seemed to love it. I had to consider myself lucky on that account.
I gave Shane a short nod as I made my way back out into the hallway toward the door. Then I left before he could see the tears in my eyes.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Everything came to a head late in the third quarter. I started to run a play that I should have known stone cold and twisted the wrong way to go after the ball coming in my direction. I felt a sharp tweak of pain shoot up through my knee. I went down to the ground hard missing the ball by a mile.
It took me a lot longer than it should have to get up off the turf. I was supposed to go back to the huddle, but I started to make my way to the sidelines instead knowing that I was visibly limping. I could hear the roar of the crowd as they expressed their concern wondering what had happened. I had intended to say I need a quick rest before heading back out, but I couldn’t clear the wince of pain off my face quick enough. The coach saw and yelled for Maddy right away. “Doc, get over here!”
Maddy was by my side a moment later. I tried to brush her off. I didn’t like showing any sign of weakness on the field, but she was insistent on putting her shoulder underneath mine as she motioned for the other players to clear the way to the bench.
“I’m fine. I got it.” I said in a low growl.
“Until we can assess if there’s anything wrong with your knee, I need you to keep your weight off of it,” she said. I was sure that the announcers and press in the stadium were speculating on what had just happened, and all of the cameras were now zeroed in on me. I didn’t like it one bit.
I sat down heavily on the bench, and Maddy knelt in front of me. Usually, this would have brought up some kind of erotic visual to mind having her kneeling in front of me, but all those thoughts flew out of my head as a yelp of pain emerged from my throat as she dug her fingers in and around my kneecap.
“What happened out there?” The coach barked in my direction as he came up behind Maddy.
“Nothing. I just twisted in the wrong direction trying to make the play,” I said.
“Hell, yeah you did. You might have had a shot at catching the ball if you had run the right route. I don’t know what the hell you were doing out there,” he said.
I screwed up my face as I thought about what play the quarterback had called in the last huddle. Shit. I had gotten my routes confused. I had run the wrong one. That hadn’t happened to me since college. I saw Maddy’s sympathetic look in my direction. Dammit. I needed to get my shit together and do it fast.
“Sorry, Coach. It won’t happen again,” I said trying to hide my chagrin.
“I want you back on the field. Doc, fix him up,” he snarled. Then he stomped back to the sideline to watch the next series of downs.
Maddy seemed to be ignoring Coach as she continued her careful inspection of my knee. I could tell that it was tender everywhere around the kneecap. I hoped that whatever had tweaked in it was something minor. She took my leg and had me move it in several different directions seeming to be assessing my flexibility and range of motion. Each time, it made my knee joint feel a little looser, although there was still some pain.
“Let’s put some ice on this, and wait about ten minutes,” she finally said. “How’s the pain?”
“Manageable,” I said.
She gave a short nod. She was all professional now. “I’ll only recommend you take something for it if the pain gets worse. I think that you just strained
the muscle a little bit. It should be fine. Although, I’m going to recommend that you take it easy for the rest of the game.”
“You’re not recommending taking me out, right?” I had never been removed from a game for an injury, and I didn’t intend for that streak to be broken today.
“I know how important it is to you to be able to keep playing. If I thought it was something worse, I would bench you. But, I just think this is a minor strain. We’ll keep an eye on it for the rest of the game.”
“I’ve played with worse,” I said, and it was the truth. I had played with bloodied limbs and far more severe muscle strain, and the coaches had been willing to look the other way as long as I hid the pain and kept making plays. Of course, I’d been a lot younger then. I had started to notice that the tackles hurt just a little bit more these days, and my recovery time seemed to take just a little bit longer. But I didn’t let any of that stop me, and I didn’t quit. I had a job to do for my team.
Maddy looked at me with a look of consternation as if she could read my mind. It was uncanny. “My job is to keep you healthy. I’ll make sure you can play, but you have to do things my way, and you have to trust me,” she said.
Trust. That was a very funny and ironic thing for her to say to me in any context. I gave a short bark of a laugh, but then shook my head. I looked at the field, longing to be back on it. My fingers twitched to have my hands on the ball again so I could show everyone I was just fine.
“I just don’t know what’s wrong with me today,” I said under my breath. I hadn’t meant for Maddy to hear the words.
“You’ve had a huge week,” she said quietly. She continued to inspect my knee, but I had a feeling she was doing that only so she could stay close to me. “What with your dad’s funeral and with… everything else.”