“She thinks I’m fat.” There was a slight sting when she said the words aloud, but she played it off with a shrug. “I don’t … take that as an insult, Ron. I’m not a child.” It was both a lie and the truth. It was true that Reanna didn’t take any of Aniyah’s offers as an insult—after all, the woman was just concerned for her health—but on the other hand, she was embarrassed. There weren’t necessarily ‘fifty’ people at the table whenever they all ate together at Aria’s little restaurant, but there were about ten, and all ten friends at the table knew that Aniyah was singling her out as the group’s ‘fat friend’.
Nice.
But whatever. Though true that Reanna was a little embarrassed about being unknowingly insulted in front of her friends, she still didn’t consider herself what Aniyah thought she was … fat. Because she wasn’t. Yeah, sure, she had wider curves than all of her girlfriends, and her belly was only flat in the right pair of jeans. She was heavy chested, had thick thighs, and an ass that didn’t quit, but she was very comfortable in her own skin. She always had been, and most likely always would be. Her love for her body knew no limits, and hell if she was going to let insecure ass Aniyah make her feel any different about herself.
That she wouldn’t do.
A gentle hand on her shoulder brought her from her thoughts as her eyes lifted to Ronaldo’s “Reanna, I’m not telling you this to hurt your feelings, love,” he sighed softly, gazing into her eyes with concern.
“My feelings aren’t hurt Ron,” she said semi-truthfully. They were a little hurt.
His concern only seemed to deepen at her denial. “I just hate that you are allowing yourself to be used by this jackass, and Aniyah is benefiting because of it.”
Reanna sighed. “Ron, Kyle doesn’t use me, we’re friends.”
“But is it not true that you wish you two were more than friends?” he questioned accusingly. “I see the look on your face every time he calls, Rea. I know you like him.”
“So what?” she snapped, backing away from his hand. “So what if I like him? Nothing will ever come of it because I’m not telling him.”
“My guess is he already knows, Rea.”
Reanna became silent. Not because she was shocked by what he said, but because she agreed. She believed that Kyle did already know. She also believed that he might have had feelings for her, too.
Ronaldo released a long breath as a look of distress fell over his handsome face. “My fear is that he knows you have a crush and he’s using you, Rea. He uses you because he knows you can’t say no to him.”
“Can to,” Reanna pouted, crossing her arms over her chest.
She could say no to Kyle anytime she wanted. She’d said no to him plenty of times before.
“Really, Rea?” Ronaldo shook his head. “I don’t believe you. You barely have time for your own life anymore. You’re always cooking, or picking up Sofia, or staying over at their apartment. When’s the last time you got to go out with me? When’s the last time you’ve gotten to go out on a damn date?”
Reanna refused to answer that. She looked away from him instead.
“See? You’re ashamed.” He pointed at her when she turned a glare on him. “You should be, Rea. You’ve put your whole life on hold to play mommy to Sofia, and wife to Kyle when you are neither, sweetheart. And if you keep playing around like this, you never will be wife or mommy to anybody. Because while you’re taking care of his little girl, and him, he’s getting closer and closer to Aniyah, and soon,” he shrugged, “they’re gonna get married, shoo you off, and move along merrily without you.”
Pain!
It was cold, and hard, but it was … a possible truth that Reanna wasn’t ready to accept yet.
Turning away from Ronaldo, Reanna stormed toward the exit, now suddenly afraid. She didn’t want him to be right. Kyle marrying Aniyah? That just wasn’t fair!
“I need alcohol and I need it now.”
There was nothing she wanted more right now than to rid her mind of this whole conversation.
“Reanna, wait!” Ronaldo called after her.
But Reanna didn’t; she walked until she reached her car, got in, and sped out of the parking lot of her office building. Ronaldo would be fine. He had his own car and he knew the way home.
She needed to be alone right now. She needed to think. She didn’t want Ronaldo to be right, but what if there was a chance? What if she was letting her love for both him and Sofia cloud her better judgment?
What if she was letting Kyle … use her?
Chapter 5: The Advice
“Mason and Alana Pierce, terrorists.”
Reanna blew out a long breath as she clicked the link to the website devoted to her parents—just as she did every morning—and scrolled down the long page of pictures.
“You are a sick woman, Reanna Pierce,” she whispered to herself. “Why do you subject yourself to this every morning?”
The answer to that was complicated. Just like her love for her parents … complicated. She loved them, but she hated them, and hated herself even more for loving them. It wasn’t that they hadn’t been good parents, either—because, unfortunately, they had been. They’d been exceptional. When their parents had been alive, Reanna and Tamara had never wanted for anything; money, food, love, their parents gave them plenty and more. Reanna hadn’t begun hating her parents until after she’d discovered their lies, and the terror that they’d brought upon people.
They’d been terrorists.
Real terrorists like the ones you would read about in newspapers, or see in movies. They were a part of a terrorist group, and died for a cause that Reanna would never know. Both were assassinated by God knows who, but they hadn’t left the earth before raising a significant amount of hell of their own. Bombings, murders, assassinations, and death plots on world leaders. All for the cause. A cause that consumed them, a cause that was apparently more important than the two children they’d left behind.
She remembered the last day she’d saw them vividly. How they came to her room and scared the shit out of her by telling her that they were leaving forever, without them. They’d made her promise to be strong, protect Tamara, and never let the government split them up.
So while Reanna could honestly say that her parents had tried their best to be good parents to her and her sister, she still couldn’t help but hate them and the people they’d been. They’d lied to her, and Tamara. They’d been monsters. They preyed on the lives of innocent people. And they’d died, leaving her and Tamara with nothing. No love, parents, no guidance, even though it’d been much needed. Reanna had to take on a responsibility that she hadn’t been ready for yet. She’d only been fourteen, but she’d done her best, and in the end, she’d made sure she and Tamara made it out of the system together. After she’d turned eighteen years old, she adopted her.
Yes, she and Tamara had gone through a lot after their parents had died; and yes, just the memories of the hardships still affected Reanna negatively today. But, even though she hated her parents, she liked to think they were looking down from heaven, or up from hell, proud of all she’d done. Proud that despite their treacherous lifestyle, Reanna and Tamara’s lives turned out well, and they’d done it without them.
“What are you doing out here?”
The second Reanna heard Tamara’s voice, she slammed her computer shut and looked over to her gorgeous little sister with her most innocent smile. Tamara stood, looking down at her with a knowing expression on her face, but Reanna still didn’t confess
“What do you mean?” she asked with a smile, leaning forward to place her computer on the wood weaved coffee table in front of her, then grabbed her coffee. “I’m out here every morning.” The gorgeously decorated patio was her favorite place to start her day. It was a lovely gazebo with beautiful plush couches, stunning colorful, lacey curtains surrounding them. It was like a living room, but outside. After curling up on the soft cushioned sofa, she took a sip of her hot coffee and sighed.
Mmmm, it was delectable. There was nothing better than a nice, hot cup of coffee in the morning. No matter what the weather.
“Don’t give me that innocent smile,” Tamara warned, pointing an accusing finger. She then took a second to straighten the long pink kimono she had on with her adorable pink and white pajamas, and then she took a seat right next to Reanna. “I know what you were doing, you can stop trying to hide it.” She pursed her lips as she flipped her long, black ponytail over her shoulder.
Reanna shook her head. “I’m not trying to hide anything, Tamara.” Her sister was always so damn nosey. “You’re up early for a Friday.” Like Reanna, Tamara didn’t work on Fridays; she left her Manhattan store in the hands of her assistant.
She shrugged in response, squinting her brown eyes against the sunlight. “I wanted breakfast. Ronaldo is in there cooking, if you can smell.”
Reanna nodded. She definitely smelled it.
Tamara continued. “He told me if I wanted some, to get my ass up. And you know me, I’m not passing up Ronaldo’s cooking … or any meal for that matter.”
Yep. That was her little sister. Foodaholic. The twenty-seven-year-old, dark-skinned beauty ate constantly, but never gained a damn pound. It was a blessing that apparently skipped generations in their bloodline, because Reanna couldn’t eat a half of a biscuit without adding an extra inch to her ass.
“Now stop trying to change the subject and open your computer.”
Reanna rolled her eyes. “Let it go, Tamara.” When Tamara reached forward and tried to grab her laptop, Reanna slapped her hand. “Stop it!” she snapped, setting her mug of coffee back on the table in front of her. “What is wrong with you?”
Tamara pouted. “Stop, Rea. I wanna see.”
“No,” she said sharply. The girl was so damn nosey. “Keep your hands off my stuff.”
“They were my parents, too, Reanna.” She folded her arms across her chest.
“I don’t care,” Reanna said, ignoring her sister’s pouting. It didn’t affect her in their childhood and it didn’t affect her now. Reanna had set forth these rules a long time ago. Tamara was forbidden to Google their parents. Grown woman or not, Reanna didn’t want her sister to be subjected to what their parents had done.
“Why are you so mean to me?”
Rolling her eyes once again, Reanna reached over and pulled her sister to her, cuddling the woman close. Tamara wrapped her arms around her waist and rested her head on Reanna’s chest with a sigh.
“I’m not mean to you,” Reanna said, kissing her sister’s forehead gently. “I just … I don’t like the thought of you torturing yourself with those memories, okay?”
She wasn’t stupid. She was aware that Tamara had probably seen the stuff on the internet once or twice. What person wouldn’t be tempted to explore if their whole childhood was documented on numerous websites? But still, Reanna liked to limit Tamara’s exploration of the past, simply because she didn’t like the thought of her sister torturing herself everyday as she did. She was still waiting for the day when she could go without looking.
“Then I won’t look,” Tamara whispered, cuddling Reanna even tighter. “But I wish you’d stop doing it, Rea.”
She nodded. “I know,” she sighed, giving Tamara another kiss. “I have issues.”
Tamara chuckled. “We both do.”
Reanna smiled. That was true, but she was happy that she’d been able to shield Tamara from as much as she could. There’d been some things that she’d failed to protect her sister from, but she could proudly say that she did her best for being a kid herself, and made tremendous sacrifices to ensure that her little sister succeeded in life.
They were good, despite everything they went through in the past to get to where they were.
“Aww, look at you two.”
Both sisters glanced up when Ronaldo entered the tent with breakfast on a big tray. Reanna’s mouth watered at the sight. Sausage, eggs, hash browns, and croissants.
“Why am I always missing the love moments?” he muttered, a playful frown on his face. “I need hugs, too …”
Reanna released her sister with a light chuckle. “Don’t nobody wanna hug you, Ronaldo.”
They all three laughed.
“Kiss my ass, Rea,” Ronaldo chuckled, as he set the tray on the table. “I made yummy food for the both of your ungrateful asses.”
“It looks good,” Tamara said, rubbing her hands together. “I’m making a sandwich.”
“Well dig in then,” Ronaldo urged happily. “I’ll get the juice.”
Reanna smiled, leaning forward and beginning to make herself a plate. She loved mornings with her sister and Ronaldo. There was never a dull moment with those two. They ate, talked, and laughed just as they always did, as they enjoyed the morning warmth and being in each other’s company. And just as she knew it would, the conversation soon drifted to the event that had occurred between her and Ronaldo over a week ago. The fight that had left her in a slump for the better part of a week.
Reanna closed her eyes in frustration, then attempted to leave, but they stopped her of course. She had hoped the conversation wouldn’t journey to the argument she and Ronaldo had had about Kyle last weekend, but of course, Ronaldo couldn’t go a day without making some salty ass comment about how pathetic Reanna was for being ‘used’ by Kyle.
“Don’t listen to him, Tamara,” Reanna shot, raising her middle finger in Ronaldo’s direction. “Ronaldo is still upset because I kept an eye on Sofia last weekend instead of going dancing with him.”
“I had a guy there for her!” Ronaldo yelled. “He wanted to meet you, Rea. He wanted to date you, but, just like always, you chose Kyle!”
“I chose Sofia.”
“You chose, Kyle,” he countered.
“I chose them both,” she corrected sharply, crossing her arms over her chest in defiance. “They needed me, so I went. And you’re just gonna have to be mad at me, ’cause I’m going over again tonight.”
Ronaldo sat his food aside and shot up from his seat in outrage. “What?” he yelled, shooting her a fierce glare. “Why the hell are you doing this to yourself, Rea?”
Reanna groaned, “God, Ronaldo, would you stop being so dramatic? He’s not even going on a date tonight. He’s working late.”
“I don’t care what he’s doing, Reanna! He’s taking up your damn weekend again. It’s Friday, dammit! I wanted to go out.”
Reanna shrugged. “Then go out.”
“I want you there, too!” he shouted. “Why do you keep blowing me off for this asshole?”
“He’s not an asshole,” Reanna defended. “And I’m not blowing you off, I’m avoiding whatever asshole you’re trying to set me up with.”
“He’s not an asshole, Rea.”
“See, I knew it!” Reanna pointed an accusing finger at him. She should have known the only reason he wanted her to go out this evening was to set her up on a damn date. He’d been trying to set her up with assorted men for the last two years, and she hated it. “I’m not going on anymore dates with any of your metro-sexual ass friends, Ronaldo.” Half of the guys he set her up with were either jerks, or horny bastards that were only after sex. “I’m done with blind dates! I don’t need you to find a man for me, I can do it myself.”
Ronaldo jerked back as if offended, dramatically bringing his hand up to his chest. “Wha—” he breathed in outraged. “When, Reanna?” He looked around, as if trying to find someone. “Who? When in the hell are you going to stop waiting for Kyle to suddenly confess his love to your ass, and take control of your life?” he yelled. “You deserve love!”
“I know!”
“Then stop choosing a man who uses you over a man who’s actually interested in you!”
Gosh darn it, he doesn’t use me!
Reanna threw up her hands in frustration and surrender. “I give up with you!” She didn’t know what the hell she had to say to convince the stubborn diva that he was wrong. Kyle didn’t use her. She’d thoug
ht about it the night before she had spent another Saturday night at his place with him and Sofia, and she’d been thinking about it for the better part of a week. And after really thinking her relationship with Kyle through, she could confidently say that, though she wasn’t completely happy with every element of their relationship, Kyle wasn’t taking advantage of her.
Ronaldo smacked his lips, grinning smugly. “You give up because you know I’m right.”
“I give up because you’re impossible,” Reanna corrected.
“All right, all right, enough of this arguing, you two,” Tamara interjected, raising her hands between them. She sighed. “I have sat in our home, listening to you heifers bicker back and forth for a damn week, and I’ve had enough …”
“Then tell her I’m right,” Ronaldo spat.
Tamara gave him a striking ‘hell no’ look, and raised her hand to his face. “You’re wrong,” she said, over enunciating the word.
Reanna smiled smugly. “See!” she yelled victoriously. “I know more than—”
“Uh!” Tamara cut her off abruptly, raising a hand in her face as well. “You’re wrong, too.”
Reanna’s mouth dropped. “Huh?”
Ronaldo lightly smacked Tamara’s hand from his face. “Well if she’s wrong, then why the hell am I wrong?”
Reanna wanted to know the same thing!
She pursed her lips. “Because he’s not using her, you idiot, he wouldn’t do that.”
He smacked his glossed lips again. “And how exactly do you know what he’d do, Tamara?” Ronaldo asked ever so stubbornly.
Tamara took a hefty bite of her sandwich and rolled her eyes. “Because I’ve known the bastard for four years, dumb dumb.”
“Ha!” Ronaldo exclaimed, shooting up from his seat to point an accusing finger at Tamara. “So you admit then? He’s a bastard.”
She shrugged. “Yes, the asshole’s a bastard. I never said he wasn’t, bighead.”
“So what makes you think he’s not using her then?”
Dangerous Beauty: Part Four: Beautifully Broken Page 7