Now he knew everything.
Who she was, where she came from. She laid herself bare before him just as he had before her, and in the process given him exactly what he’d needed. It surprised him, how little fear he felt now. It also gave him more peace than he ever thought he’d have.
Placing one last peck to her lips before pulling back, Kyle gazed into Reanna’s stunning brown eyes.
“Thank you,” he said, genuinely grateful.
It never failed. Whenever Kyle felt like he was close to bursting out of his skin, Reanna just … knew what to do to calm him down. She understood him better than anyone else in his life ever had.
Giving him the sweetest warm smile, Reanna kissed him once more. “I feel free, Kyle,” she whispered, shaking her head as tears welled up in her eyes. “I’ve never felt like this before. I’ve never been this …”
“Happy,” he finished.
Her smile widened. “More than happy.”
Kyle tucked one of her curls behind her ears. “It’s probably because you more than love me, huh?”
The laugh she blessed him with was like the sweetest music to his ears.
“Yes, Kyle Valente,” she sang sweetly. “I more than love you.”
And he more than loved her, too—more than himself, more than his life, he loved Reanna Pierce. It was love that baffled him, that excited him. And he was more than positive he’d never get enough of it.
~*~
The next morning had been spent in bed, making love, eating leftovers from their dinner the night before, laughing about random shit, and getting to know each other in a way Kyle had never experienced getting to know another before.
“So, pictures,” Kyle said, turning on his side and laying his arm across her belly. “How did such a thing become your career?”
“It was a hobby,” she answered, smiling up at their reflections in the mirror above them. “I was twenty when Tamara and I left the home we’d shared with Bryon.”
And yes, Kyle reveled in the fact that her voice no longer shook when she said the man’s name.
“We moved back to Brooklyn, found Ronaldo, and got a place together. I started working again, at a couple of restaurants so that I could afford rent and save up for Tamara’s college fund, and Tamara finished up high school at a local school close to our apartment.” She sighed. “One of the cops, who came that night I … killed Bryon, found us. Nice guy. He came to see us; see how we were doing. Tamara told him that I was having dreams, because I was. So he offered to pay for me to go see a therapist. One he apparently saw after he’d gotten shot on the job.” She’d shrugged. “The doctor, who is still my doctor today, Dr. Tomlin, diagnosed me with PTSD. I went through a lot of therapy, and once he finally got me to a good place, he told me to pick up a hobby.”
“Photography?”
Nodding, she answered brightly, “Yes, with a cheap camera.”
Kyle chuckled.
“At the time I was feeling a little suicidal, and Dr. Tomlin thought it’d help for me to, quote, ‘capture life’s beautiful moments’ on camera. I chose a polaroid.”
“How did you get discovered then?” he asked, running his finger over the dimple in her cheek.
She shrugged. “It was crazy. I was at the park, taking pictures of a chick and her dog, and this man walked up to me … Robby Reid.”
She said the name as if he should’ve known who the fuck he was
“Robby Reid, Kyle … World renowned photographer?”
Kyle nodded. “Yeah, definitely baby.”
He hadn’t the slightest clue who she was talking about.
She rolled her eyes. “He’s a photographer. He’d just randomly walked up to me and asked me if I was an aspiring photographer. I said yes, even though I wasn’t. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Then he asked if I wanted to try with his camera. Turned out he’d been in the park, having a casual picture day, something he and I still do from time to time. And, of course, I said ‘hell yeah’, because his camera was boss.” She lifted her hands, making a gesture of taking of picture. “The picture I took of that woman still hangs in his gallery today. One snap, and I was his apprentice. He took me everywhere; Paris, Milan, you name it, Tamara and I went. Milan was actually where Tamara fell in love with fashion. But anyway, one year and one failed relationship later, my career went boom.”
Reanna went on to tell him how she’d reached heights that even her mentor had been astounded by. And with talent as naturally advanced as hers, she became well known all around the world for her unique photography style, her ever increasing list of clients making her a multimillionaire in just a few short years.
Kyle listened to her, admiring the woman’s strength and drive, as she enthused about her career, about what now had become her passion. She spoke about how much she loved fashion photography, but also how much she missed having more time to just take pictures for fun, to capture the beauty that the world had to offer. It amazed him how she could have gone through all she went through and still managed to overcome it … move forward, love again, and still see beauty in a world where Kyle only saw darkness.
He hadn’t seen light in this world until Sofia had come into his life. And that had only been because she was—then and still—the best and most beautiful thing that had ever come from his existence.
“What about you?”
Her abrupt question pulled him from his thoughts, bringing his focus back to her. “What about me, what?” he asked, his brow raising in question.
Reanna turned on her side to face him. “What about your life?” she asked, unconsciously reaching forward and running her finger over one of his scars.
Kyle exhaled a deep breath at the contact. He still couldn’t understand how the hell she did that.
“I know about what happened in your childhood,” she continued. “What your mother did to you … but I don’t know much about your life after that.”
“When I first came to America?”
She nodded her head. “I want to know everything about you, Kyle,” she whispered. “Even the stuff you think I’ll hate.”
He chuckled.
“I’m serious,” she pouted.
Shamelessly mocking her cute little pout, Kyle embraced his beautiful Reanna, bringing her close to him and placing a kiss on her forehead. “Aww, baby,” he murmured against her skin. “I know you’re serious. I just don’t understand the question.”
“Yes you do,” she scoffed, lightly pinching his side.
He chuckled again. She was right, he did. He wasn’t sure if he’d answer it, but he did understand.
The scowl she shot at him was far too lovely to be intimidating. “You’re answering my question, Valente.”
“Of course I will, baby,” he said, slight laughter in his tone. “If you just re-form the question into one that I can understand.” And answer vaguely, he finished in his head.
For a second she just stared at him blankly, not saying a word, as Kyle gazed down at her with the most innocent of smiles.
“Did you forget the question, colomba?” he asked, breaking the silence, his innocent smile still intact.
Her scowl deepened. “No, I didn’t.”
Kyle lovingly tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “You look so beautiful, baby.”
If only it were that easy to change the direction of her thoughts …
“Did you always know you’d be doing what you do, or did you ever aspire to be anything else.”
POW!
Reanna Pierce was one of the only two people in this world who had the ability to stump Kyle. He prided himself on having a response to everything, a smooth way to avoid the truth without lying, but that ability, that usually impenetrable charm, didn’t mean shit when it came to both Reanna, and Sofia. The two people in his life who had the ability to knock his ass off balance.
Falling over to lie on his back, Kyle groan, releasing a long breath as he did. “Jesus Christ, Reanna.”
“It’s j
ust a question, Kyle. Don’t freak out.”
He brought his hand up, running it over his face. “I’m not … freaking out, Reanna.” That was a lie. Technically, he was, though he didn’t much care for such a term. “You just ask me questions so … bluntly, sometimes I don’t know how to respond.”
“Well, try the truth.”
Kyle rolled his eyes. “I always tell the truth.”
Then there was silence. Just silence. So much of it that Kyle eventually had to look up from his dramatic brooding with a frown, finding that his lovely colomba was now averting her gaze.
“Reanna.”
“Yeah, babe?” she answered brightly, never looking back in his direction.
His frown deepening, Kyle pushed up on his elbows. “Re-anna,” he said more firmly this time.
And finally, she looked at him, her eyes big and innocent.
“What, honey?” she whispered, timidly.
“Speak, woman,” Kyle demanded, trying his best not to be affected by her sexy, adorably shy behavior.
Sighing, Reanna turned on her stomach. “Well, you do have a tendency to walk around the truth.”
Kyle’s mouth dropped open in guilty offense. “Excuse me?”
“I’m not trying to ‘fake offend’ you, Kyle.” She rolled her eyes.
Yet, his eyes widened even more in his fake offense.
She chuckled. “But you know what I’m saying is true.”
“This I do not know …”
“Now you’re lying.”
His frown immediately became a glare.
“I’m not trying to upset you. I just want to know you, and your unwillingness to answer my damn questions are inhibiting that.”
“It’s not that I’m unwilling, Reanna,” he argued. “It’s just …” He shook his head. “Your questions are not the easiest to answer, baby.”
“They are if you just tell me the truth, Kyle.” She came closer to him, resting herself atop his chest. “I have a realistic view of the man you are, of what you do, and I know that some things you just can’t tell me. And I accept that. I would never ask any personal business of the Salerno Organization in the first place. But …” she lowered her eyes, then lifted them again. “I want to know you. How you became the man you are, how you grew up. I know it’s hard to be … open.”
“I know you do.”
“And it wasn’t easy for me to tell you everything about myself either.”
“I know it wasn’t.”
“But you know me now,” she sighed, her eyes pleading with him. “Better than anyone else in this world, you know me now … and I want to know you, too.”
Shit, she was right, she was fucking right. And he was being a dick. It wasn’t that he was trying to keep anything from her, it was more that even though she didn’t know absolutely everything about his upbringing, she knew more than he’d ever shared with anyone else before. She knew him. She understood him, and he’d been hoping that what had already been shared had been enough, only because he really didn’t know how to talk about anything else.
“You have to help me through this,” he said with a conciliatory sigh. “I’m not good at it.”
She placed a kiss on his cheek. “Of course I will.”
Clearing his throat, Kyle frowned a bit. “What is it you want to know, colomba?”
Reanna’s eyes brightened. “Really?”
Chuckling slightly at her excitement, Kyle nodded his head. “Do your damage, woman.”
She squealed. “Wow. Oh my gosh, this is so exciting! I’m shaking.”
Kyle rolled his eyes. “Reanna …”
“Okay, okay,” she chuckled. “I’ve always wanted to ask you how it was when you first moved to America.”
Kyle nodded.
“I know you were young, and you lost your memory, but how did your father get you to … move past what happened to you? You know, after you woke up faced with evidence of such trauma, but no memory of what happened.”
Damn. Shit. Fuck.
That was an extremely loaded question. One that Kyle had definitely never been faced with.
Clearing his throat again, Kyle shifted uncomfortably. “Most of what I recall of that time is … spotty, Reanna. But,” he sighed, “I remember what I was feeling more than what I saw, and when I came to America, what I felt most was confusion. Who am I, how did I get here, why do I feel like shit …”
“You didn’t even remember your father?”
“Eventually.” He nodded. “But like I said, it was only a feeling. I didn’t remember my life before that moment, but I felt like I knew him. He was my father.”
She nodded for him to continue, and Kyle tried his best to find his words.
“I barely spoke. After telling my father that I forgave him, and begging him to never make me go back to my mother, I remember kind of … shutting down. I just remember feeling afraid of everything. Of the new place I was in, of my father, of my own reflection. I spent most of my time in my bedroom closet because, honestly, it was the only place I felt safe. I slept in there, I barely came out of there to eat. I didn’t like the feeling of the open air touching my skin.” He shook his head. “In that closet everything was … controlled. The air didn’t move, it was quiet, it was dark so I didn’t have to see anything including the scars that were still tender on my skin. My father spent months trying to keep me out of there. I lived for the days when Mikilo would steal his attention. Then he hired a fucking psychiatrist. The man came to the house damn near everyday trying to coax me from my sanctuary.”
She laughed softly at that. “Your sanctuary …”
“My fucking sanctuary,” he chuckled. “’Til this day I still don’t understand why they didn’t leave me be.”
“Because he was frightened for you, Kyle,” she murmured.
“I know, I know,” Kyle sighed. “He tried his best, but I didn’t come out of that closet until Nathan pulled me out.”
A confused smile spread across her face. “He pulled you out?”
Kyle nodded. “He literally opened the door, walked in, and yanked me out of my sanctuary.” Kyle remembered it like it was yesterday. “I was terrified at first, when the door opened. But then, after I felt his hands, hands no bigger than mine, I calmed down.”
“What did he do after he took you out of the closet?”
This day Kyle remembered vividly. It was when he’d made his first friend, the day he’d met his brother, who had in turn introduced him to his baby brother.
“He pulled me out of the closet, got rid of the annoying ass psychiatrist, then he and I spent the day in my room coloring.”
“Aww,” she gasped, bringing her hand to her heart. “Coloring.”
Kyle laughed softly. “Yes, and talking about silly nineties kid shit, and our favorite cartoons. Of course I just agreed with everything he said because I didn’t watch any. And then he introduced me to Mickey.”
She frowned. “You didn’t know your brother yet?”
Kyle shook his head. “My face wasn’t the prettiest when I first arrived in America. Scarred, bruised, swollen. It took time for things to look … human again.”
“Mikilo was scared?”
“I was,” Kyle confessed. “I didn’t want to meet him, but Nathan sort of … forced it.” Kyle was glad he had because he never would have found the courage to leave the closet, much less meet his little brother. “Mickey was attached to Nathan most of the time, but he eventually let me hold him. It had hurt, holding him. He kept pressing against my skin, but I remember being unwilling to let him go. The pain hadn’t mattered at the time, I just …” he shrugged. “I was happy to be a brother, to have two brothers.” He smiled faintly. “Nate came over everyday after that; some days I’d go to their house, and some days we’d stay at mine. There was never a day when I wasn’t somewhere playing with Nathan and Mickey. For a while, it was just the three of us, then Lucca came along, and Dante …”
Their brother bond had formed so quickly. And had
been impenetrable since the moment they’d come into each other’s lives.
“I love how close you and your brothers are.” She smiled warmly. “It’s always been that way?”
Kyle nodded. “Since the moment we all met. We went through every milestone of life together, from the first day of school, Nathan losing his mother, to our hellish teenage years when shit finally began to catch up with me, and I began to notice a lot about myself.”
“A lot, like what?” she asked, her voice barely audible.
Kyle shook his head. “I don’t know how to explain it …” He paused for a moment, once again, trying to find the right words. “I guess I went through this phase of feeling as if … I don’t know …” He shook his head. “I can’t put it into words.”
“Try,” she whispered.
He frowned, releasing a long breath. “I would have these days when I just felt so angry, you know?”
Reanna nodded as he continued.
“I would do this … thing where I would …” He shook his head. “I don’t know, push my brothers away. Sometimes it felt like I was intentionally trying to make them hate me … walk away from me.”
“But why?” she asked, shaking her head. “Why would you want that?”
“I don’t know.” His frown deepened. “I’ve never had to think about it.” He’d never had to answer for his actions before; he just knew it happened, and each time it did, his brothers informed him that it was something he did often. He wasn’t sure why he’d done it all the time; he supposed he was just … “Afraid of losing them … for real,” he answered.
Again, Reanna gave him a look of confusion, her eyes asking him the questions she wasn’t.
Searching his heart for a response, Kyle’s eyes lowered as he tried to give her an honest answer. “I guess …” he started, his words dying off before picking up again. “I’d convinced myself that the people I loved the most, the people who promised to … love me back, to protect me, would eventually turn their backs on me …” His words trailed off as he swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. “I was scared,” he admitted, both to her and himself. “I loved them too much.”
Dangerous Beauty: Part Four: Beautifully Broken Page 27